The Key To a Great Relationship is Honest Communication


In every relationship I think the most important thing is to have a good communication, to be able to share openly and just being yourself.

But sometimes we might take things personally (our egos might feel offended), or we may assume that someone thinks a certain thing and so on, and therefor it’s very important to have a heart to heart with that someone and clear the air.

We don’t always know why people do what they do, or why handle things like they do (when it’s the opposite of how WE would do it!), but we can always be sure that most people do what they do out of self protection on some level, and by having that in mind we can take the opportunity to have a closer look at ourselves and ask ourselves why that person might have felt the need to protect themselves from our reactions.

When someone shares something with you that may be chocking to hear, please respect the persons decision without judging them.

We can’t know about all the tears that may have been shred in the process leading up to the announcement of their decision. We don’t know.

Whatever our own opinions are, they should not matter; it’s not about us, it’s about their difficult time.

Show compassion and support no matter what. Put yourself aside and be there for the other person in their hardship – it’s not about You and your ideals. Remember that. It’s NOT about you.

Here’s a great process that includes two simple but very powerful questions that you can ask if you feel your friend (or boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, anyone you have a relationship with basically) have ‘fallen out’ a bit, or if you feel you have some unresolved stuff that needs to be vented, or if you feel there’s weird vibes or something going on between the two of you.

The Number One Key To a Great Relationship is Communication; so instead of assuming and making up your own conclusions about something you know nothing about when it comes to others; Ask them about it. It’s that simple.

This process will help you come closer again and regain the friendship if done with honesty and sincerity.

Get together with your friend and have some private time where you can be undisturbed.

And then simply ask each other these two questions one at a time:

  • How would you rate our relationship based on the past week/month/generally? (whatever suits your situation)
  • If your friend says “I would rate it 8”, then ask your friend how it could have been a ten.

Then your friend might say something like “Well, I think it could have been a ten if you had listened more to me last week when I was sharing stuff with you about this or that”.

And then your friend get to ask you the same back.

The key is to not begin defending oneself, or explaining, or anything like that.

Just listen, and say ‘thank you for sharing’, and then take to heart what you have heard from your friend.

It’s a great thing to do even if things are really good too – a little weekly check with your spouse or friends just to see if there’s anything that needs to be vented or shared.

Spiritual Teacher Maria Erving

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  1. Kee Cheang says:

    Hi Maria, I agree completely, lies repell, honesty attracts, past´s history, future mystery, presence is gift ! Have agreat present or as much as you can and possible, as you wish and want them to blissss!!! Kee Cheang

  2. Maria Erving says:

    Glad you liked the post/video Cheang! 🙂

  3. […] but I can also be someone you don’t want to mess with. (Meaning that I’m not afraid of speaking up or sharing my feelings and thoughts openly, and thus I don’t shy away from confrontations if […]

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My intent is to have people think independently, feel deeply and honestly, and move into a higher knowing of themselves.