Aug
31

Lets talk about: | Discernment | Judgmental | Acceptance | What saying Yes to all means | Facts |

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Are you trapped in the beliefs and even expectations of how a so called spiritual person should be and behave, and how a spiritual life should be lived?

Free yourself; realize that there are no shoulds!

You don’t have to make a deal with God (as if you could:-) by thinking that if you’re this kind and sweet spiritual person then you will be favored by God and nothing bad will happen (believing that “If I’m good, then I’ll only ‘attract’ good things, people and situations”) and other people will look at you as being this loving and caring person, this compassionate godly person who never ‘harms’ others by having own opinions, who always smiles and behaves in ways that are comfortable to the ego. That’s just pure nonsense.

What Life asks of you is to simply be who you are, truthfully yourself.

God wants to express itself, as You.

Lets look at some of the spiritual traps:

There’s a vast difference between being judgmental and discerning.

Being judgmental is making someone else wrong. Being discerning is to stay away from people and situations that we know are not good for us, but they still get to be who they are. (The word means “the ability to judge well”).

From a personal point of view, I don’t like talking with people that are easily offended (not that my intention is to offend, but I’m not this soft-spoken little wallflower of a woman either), it’s just annoying to me because I don’t like wearing silk gloves (or whatever the saying is) around people and I’m not interested in becoming best buddies with their egos. So I walk the other way.

But they still get to be who they are.

You are still allowed to voice your opinions however they may be perceived by others, and you can even get pissed of at times if that is what arises within you, even if you are a so called “spiritual person”.

You don’t need to judge yourself as being un-spiritual because you have all kinds of feelings and emotions, the so called negative ones included. Those are all a part of the human experience.

A favorite word or sentence for the ego seem to be (in my observation) “it’s wrong to be judgmental” and confusing it with being discerning, as if we (so called spiritual people) should be doormats and not have any opinions about anything and that we should always meet everything and everyone with a big swelling heartfelt smile.

Not how I roll however 🙂 I don’t care about those kinds of beliefs, I find them ridiculous to be honest and sometimes I even laugh at them. (Oooh! How evil of me!:-)

I should not do that, right? Because I’m so spiritual. Right.. 😉

I’m just having fun with it 🙂

Moving on to Acceptance and saying Yes.

Acceptance of life is simply to surrender to what is without resiting or avoiding the Truth about the situation. 

If a situation is unbearable, like for example if someone is in an abusive relationship, the acceptance is not about accepting to be treated badly, and I have actually heard that from people, they think they have to stay a bit longer because they have to learn a lesson or something!

No, that’s not what acceptance is about at all.

The so called lesson is most probably about you accepting the inner call for freedom from that destructive and diminishing situation.

Listen to the inner voice! It never tells you to stay and take abuse! Never!

It LOVES you.

Saying Yes to everything is not about saying yes to everything in the outer world, but the inner world.

To say yes to life is to move along with it in no resistance to where it directs you and sometimes that means saying No to the world. But never to yourself.

It doesn’t mean that if you feel that someone is taking advantage of you for example that you should continue saying yes to that. 

It means you say yes to the inner voice that tells you something is off path here.

That you say yes to!

Lastly; the Facts:

The fact is, this moment is what it is, however it is.

You may be in a good place or in a not-so good place.

You are free to have an opinion about it, you have the right to say “this really sucks!” without making anyone or any event to an enemy. You are allowed to think it sucks.

You have the right to look at something and discern within yourself if this is something you’d like to say yes to or if you wish to say no to it.

The fact is that you can say “no, actually; I don’t have any money to lend you anymore, actually I don’t want to lend you anymore money”. End of story, no explanations needed.

No need to get emotionally involved or anything (which always comes from creating a story around what happens), even if the other person has put you in a box called “nice spiritual person who always responds with love and compassion to ME, and does as I want because they are suppose to because they are spiritual and should not judge or have opinions that can upset me”.

Saying Yes to life is to say Yes to YOURSELF. (=God/Intuition)

If the inner voice tells you to get the hell out of a situation, you obey it, you don’t stay in it because your ego has made you believe that there’s a lesson to be learned and you have not learned it yet.

You obey your intuitive feeling all the time – and sometimes that will ruffle some feathers and it will definitely rock some boats, but who cares??

Trusting and following your intuitive feeling in the present moment without apologizing to others is what saying Yes to life means!

Very simple if you ask me 🙂

Here’s a couple of posts that you might like:

http://mariaerving.com/being-authentic-means-respecting-yourself/

http://mariaerving.com/the-difference-between-reaction-and-response-to-life/

Spiritual Teacher Maria Erving

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Comments

  1. Lyndal says:

    I totally agree! What a relief to hear someone else say these things… instead of believing that everyone has to be “goody goody christian”

    Truth… what freedom there is in that! The freedom to be and portray who you really are, instead of pretending to be someone you are not, just to fit into a mould of some sort.

    I had a sister in law that was being treated absolutely unacceptably by my own brother, I supported her and empowered her to make the decision that was completely right for her… her own decision…. I was told in no uncertain terms, by other christian people, that I should have told her to stay in that particular enviroment, that is what God would believe to be right…. that is not the God I have come to know and love…

    Thankyou for encouraging others to live in truth… their own truth…

  2. Maria Erving says:

    Hi Lyndal,

    Thank you for commenting and sharing from your own life.

    I hope your sister in law is doing great now?

    It is very dysfunctional isn’t it, and I’m talking generally in the spiritual realm, whether it’s in religion or some of the many spiritual paths; the false and shallow mask is on for many people all over the world with the intent to fit in, to be seen by others as being holy and pure and so on, and inside they are suffering themselves without knowing that the real “I” is behind the mask.

    And it’s free, without any concepts of how one should be.

    An interesting question that anyone can ask themselves is: (Regardless if we have a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ image of God)

    “What is God to me if I take away all beliefs and concepts I have about Him/It, what if I even remove the word ‘God’, what is it that is left?”

    What remains after all labels are removed?

    Very interesting isn’t, when we start to look into that 🙂

    Here’s an old post that came to mind that I wrote maybe a couple of years ago or so that you might like:

    http://mariaerving.com/the-behavior-of-god/

    And this one: http://mariaerving.com/spiritual-stereotypes/

  3. Rajagopalan says:

    Hi Maria,

    You are telling to get out of the abusive relationship or get out of relationship which hurts us. Here when you try to get out of such a relationship, you are trying to make a decision consciously, if you try to get out of such relationship, you will end up with another such relationship, because that relationship expresses our own feelings, more closely put, that relationship reflects our own aspect Or they are simply reflection of ours, But the right way to eliminate such a relationship is to eliminate the feelings from within us, now you no need to decide consciously, Universe re-organise itself in such a way that that relationship is no longer will be in your situation.Our feelings are real, other person merely express what is within us. So we can’t make any conscious decision as for as i know, If we have taken , we will end up with other such relationships, because our inner pattern is not yet changed.

    Raj

  4. Maria Erving says:

    Life naturally moves towards harmony so it obviously also moves away from abuse.

    So while it may seem (to the person) that he/she is making a decision, it is Life making it, that’s what following the intuitive knowing means.

    That’s how life moves us. Life speaks in the silent voice from within and the form/body/person moves.

    When identified with the false self (ego) we suffer.

    If we don’t know that we are the love that we seek (in relationships, substances; anything ‘out there’) then we are bound to get hurt at some point.

    (By our own ignorance of our true nature, and this does not imply guilt/blame in any way. There are no mistakes; all things are interconnected and meant to happen as they happen).

    http://mariaerving.com/spiritual-awakening-and-knowing-who-we-are-not/

    Of course we need to look within, if you read the post again you see that I wrote:

    “…Acceptance of life is simply to surrender to what is without resiting or avoiding the Truth about the situation….”

    The Truth being that what your heart tells you. We all know what that is when we listen.

    Here’s some posts that sheds some light on these matters:

    http://mariaerving.com/what-you-avoid-in-life-will-come-back-later/

    http://mariaerving.com/meeting-fear-and-pain/

    http://mariaerving.com/being-authentic-means-respecting-yourself/

  5. Rajagopalan says:

    Hi,

    Yeah I do admit your point If we have the meaning in our emotion,But what if when “emotion lives by itself” ? means what we felt repeatedly creates the situation such a way that it makes us to feel. In that case, we are pulled into that situation to feel, we could find no way of avoiding that person. When it brings the meaning, i do admit the your point, For an example rejection and rejected by others are good for ourselves to know whom we have to relate,here it brings the meaning so that as soon as we take the action, feeling would go away. What if we can’t reject? This is because situation created by our own feelings.

    Raj

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My intent is to have people think independently, feel deeply and honestly, and move into a higher knowing of themselves.