Sep
25

All Feelings Come And Go (Let Them)

By

One of my readers asked me a question:

Hi Maria,

I have a question, I studied some of your articles from your website in which you said we needed to allow the emotion so that it will dissipate sooner by teaching something to us. If it comes from deeper then you are right, that will go away, but what if the feelings are created by me using affirmation,if I allow myself to experience this feelings, would it go away? Because feeling created by me obviously don’t have any meaning, right?

All feelings come and go, we can’t hold on to any of them.

So it doesn’t matter where they come from so to speak, you will know by listening to your intuitive knowing if the feeling or emotion has something to say to you when it comes to insights, wisdom, or something we need to learn etc.

There are deeper feelings and there are more average everyday feelings.

Of course you can hold on to anger for example, for years, and suffer from it, but the anger really comes from the thoughts you think, so to have a closer look at them would be helpful if you’re inclined in that direction.

There’s a difference between an intuitive feeling and a ‘feeling’-feeling so to speak.

An intuitive feeling comes from the heart (it has a totally different vibe to it), while ordinary feelings comes from the mind (ego) that comes from the thoughts we think. (Oftentimes conditioned thoughts based on past experiences that goes on and on like broken record).

Feelings created by affirmations also come and go, just like any other feeling, so if you would allow yourself to feel them (as you yourself put it), they would eventually move their way also regardless of your attempts to either hold on to them or your attempts to push them away.

As you know an affirmation can be negative too as in “I always fail”, “I’m ugly”, “No one loves me” etc, those are affirmations too, but not everybody knows that they are programming themselves by saying those things to themselves.

So sure, affirmations strengthens the mind, either in good ways or ways that weakens us, but I’m not really into mind-stuff at all anymore, my dedication and heart is devoted to Truth; spiritual awakening and transformation, which goes deeper than any mind-made “creations”. (Not that it’s wrong in any way, everything has it’s place and time, it’s just not where my interest is anymore).

All emotions move, and if you allow them to move through you, you will be able to look at them as a witness and if you try to hold on to them you will suffer. No need to make  a fuss about any of them.

An example can for example be if you hold on to resentment, or to feelings of happiness for example; they all come and go. The addict tries to hold on to the “good ” feeling but never succeeds.

One can be addicted to thoughts and feelings too; one can refuse to let go of old hurts and thus the ego revels in the drama and creates righteousness and some kind of weird pride – which many egos enjoy.

So, by looking at them, but not get attached and drawn into them (as in mind-made drama), they will flow through in consciousness, like clouds in the sky where you are the sky.

To look at a beautiful flower too; you can simply enjoy it’s beauty, but you can’t hold on to the feeling.

In fact, the moment you say something about it, you have lost the moment of beingness and you’re now moved into mind where there’s some kind of evaluation going on – it’s funny to discover this, and makes us become more aware of how the mind works, which helps us become more spiritually aware 🙂

When we see how the mind  works and how it limits our experience of Life, we are prone to many aha-moments of clarity and that in turn helps our spiritual development. By seeing illusion we are able to move beyond it.

In this example with the flower for example; just before the mind comes in, we are really enjoying the presence of the flower, and then in the next moment the mind starts to have opinions about it or thinking about a much nicer looking flower in the neighbors backyard yesterday when you were having dinner there, .. and then another story takes off and the experience of the beauty from the flower is long gone.

So we can instead allow whatever thoughts that comes, come, while we continue seeing – really seeing and experiencing the flower, as it is, and not how it makes us feel.

The mind can also get us hooked into the loop of suffering by strong emotions like fear and worry by making thoughts, beliefs and opinions about what’s going on (interpretations by the mind has no truth in them) very important (“Look at me” they scream, “I’m important!” But they are not) and they scream for our attention so that we will get drawn into them and off we go – into despair even, if we believe our mind to present the truth, which it never does.

You will know intuitively if there’s something that needs to be looked at or not.

By not believing our thoughts to be true (they are experiences in consciousness and not even personal) we are able to move deeper into Life as it really is.

Affirmations can be helpful if you want to rearrange your mind and thoughts but I’m not into those concepts any longer myself as I mentioned earlier in the article, but sure, they were a part of my journey in the past as well, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right way or should be included in everybody’s path. I don’t see it as necessary at all.

We don’t need to perfect the mind, only realize what’s in our heart. (=The Truth of our being, which is not something we create by any means).

Listen to what your heart is telling you by allowing everything to be (by letting it be you are open and not closed) without creating any drama around the events of life. (Both ‘inner and outer’).

Hope that helps clarify and answer your question. Feel very free to comment below.

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Spiritual Teacher Maria Erving

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Comments

  1. Rajagopalan says:

    Hi Maria,

    Thanks for you reply by writing a big article, I did not expect you would write an article from my question. Thank again.

    And from what you have written , i understood that you were asking me to let the emotion flow through me though that were created by affirmation thereby it would loose it’s strength to create. But still my question remains, For an example, wouldn’t it recreate again and again when we feel according to Law of attraction? Because when we feel it attracts ,that’s all about law of attraction, But you are saying that we would loose the feeling by giving the example of flower.

    But it actually cause the roller coaster moment in my life, For an example, I made a affirmation like “i am very happy now”, what happens is, I feel happy for some days,which means it creates some events in my life where from I can clearly experience the happiness, since I remain in that state for prolong time, reality automatically starts to creates the frustration, after I experience this state a prolong time, again it starts to creates the happiness, It goes on indefinitely, So what I did was, i stop to suffer by controlling the suffering thoughts(So that feeling stops automatically), Now both strength of happiness and suffering reduces to a considerable amount but not entirely, So It’s hard to believe for me to allowing the thoughts brings this roller coaster to an end, Because when it loose it’s strength it automatically moves to the opposite side to balance. So what is your answer for my question?

    Raj

  2. Maria Erving says:

    Hello again Raj,

    Thanks for commenting, and you’re so very welcome! 🙂

    After my spiritual awakening experiences I’m not into the Law of Attraction at all anymore, those kinds of concepts are completely wiped away from my consciousness and doesn’t resonate with me at all anymore. (You can read more about that on my about page: http://mariaerving.com/about-maria/).

    I thought your question was about the deeper spiritual path (Oneness, Awakening, Enlightenment etc), not about creating with the mind and manipulating and trying to control Life etc, so I don’t feel drawn to elaborate on that level of consciousness. (Mind/ego)

    I’m sure you will find someone else that resonates with those kinds of questions and that wishes to speak with you about them 🙂

    All the best to you on your journey,

    Maria

  3. Rajagopalan says:

    Hi Maria,

    You got me wrong, I am also not using Law of attraction anymore, Because Law of attraction can’t able to create without it’s opposite. But what I have meant to say is, if you feel over and over the same kind of feelings, according to law of attraction it retains indefinitely right? If so, how would say when you feel that completely would cast away those feelings?

    I am not talking about law of attraction, what I meant to say is repeated feelings creates it’s reality right?

    Raj

  4. Maria Erving says:

    I really don’t feel inclined to go in that direction with you Raj as I don’t feel you’re open to hear what I say.

    I hear you say that you are not into LOA, but your questions are clearly about that, I read that from both your comments.

    All the ‘repeated feelings’ and affirmations and so on are about control, and I teach about letting go of control; to stop trying to avoid and manipulate in order to feel better.

    The spiritual path is full of stuff to be worked through and go through (ego death for example) and not about putting band-aids on what feels uncomfortable by re-arranging thought-patterns.

    Oneness includes everything (darkness and light), and only by allowing everything to be can we ever become free.

    Not by control, not by rearranging our thoughts by saying affirmations, not by any of those things.

    You wrote:

    “….I made a affirmation like “i am very happy now”, what happens is, I feel happy for some days,which means it creates some events in my life where from I can clearly experience the happiness, since I remain in that state for prolong time, reality automatically starts to creates the frustration…”

    You are clearly trying to control and manipulate your life experience, and I’m not saying it’s wrong in any way, it’s just not on that level I operate or have my being, so it’s foreign for me to even speak about those concepts.

    I know that the frustration you feel comes from your manipulation and avoidance, but if you’re not ready to hear me, I can’t help you.

    Further you write:

    “…i stop to suffer by controlling the suffering thoughts(So that feeling stops automatically)….”

    I know that allowance and acceptance leads to freedom, not controlling.

    To surrender to what is, to be here now, and not trying to get away from this moment in any way. That’s where our freedom lies.

    You will suffer for as long as there’s a desire of the ego within you that only wants to feel better (and not go deeper) and thinks it will get it’s fulfillment in some moment in the future, the next moment will be better it thinks – “If I only can take control of my feelings and thoughts”.

    But Life doesn’t work that way. (And I write about that which is beyond thoughts and feelings)

    You might find these articles (and a free PDF) insightful/inspirational:

    http://mariaerving.com/the-power-of-forgiveness-and-acceptance-free-pdf/

    http://mariaerving.com/life-is-a-happening/

    http://mariaerving.com/judgment-causes-suffering/

    http://mariaerving.com/meeting-fear-and-pain/

    http://mariaerving.com/what-you-avoid-in-life-will-come-back-later/

  5. Rajagopalan says:

    Hi Maria,

    I missed one point I guess thereby these confusion, I stopped to do affirmation long back after I realized that using law of attraction is futile, But what I meant to say is, the feelings i created through affirmation long back still creating my life, So that I asked you, whether can i let those feelings create my while it is creating Or do I need to stop? That’s my question,Now i hope you got clear my point about Law of attraction.

    Raj

  6. Maria Erving says:

    Raj, I don’t think you have read all the articles I suggested (if any) as it’s only a few minutes since I posted the reply to you.

    You would have found some insights in them that could clarify for you where I’m coming from and why I can’t meet you in your request as I’m not into those things at all and I have a feeling you want to hear a specific answer, which I can’t give you.

    Listen within. You already know what to do.

    These articles might be helpful:

    This is an older post of mine, but you can use it to check in with yourself by asking these two questions while listening to your gut:

    http://mariaerving.com/two-powerful-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-feeling-scared-to-go-after-your-dreams/

    And here’s another older post by me that can help you develop your intuition:

    http://mariaerving.com/let-a-coin-toss-decide-what-you-should-do/

    The answers you are looking for are to be found within you, and not by thoughts and thinking.

    Wisdom is of the heart.

    All the best to you,

    Maria

  7. Rajagopalan says:

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you very much.

    Raj

  8. Maria Erving says:

    You’re very welcome Raj:-)

  9. Melissa Wren says:

    Hello Maria,
    I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that this posting was “WOW” such an answer to my prayers and many aha awakenings for me! 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing all your wealth of wisdom!!!!! I am amazed at all your knowledge of truth. Thank you Thank you for posting I appreciate you so much!!!!
    Love, Melissa Wren
    Loveland Colorado

  10. Maria Erving says:

    So glad to hear it resonated with you Melissa, thank you for sharing that with me 🙂

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When you’re in flow with life you live in harmony with yourself and the universe. This is true oneness.