Sep
28

The true calling of your life and how to find it (1/2)

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What our true calling is.

Maria,

Thank you for opening up “Ask Maria” for everyone. I have been enjoying your insights.

My situation is this:

I am a wife, mother, and work outside the home part-time in a business situation.

I have continually been feeling the push and pull between keeping on with the status quo of all the conventional things you are expected to do in small-town life and what I feel may be out there.

I have not figured out any specific calling at this time, but do know I want to serve the world is some way that I am not currently.

I love my husband and children, but am struggling to figure out how to deal with these conflicting forces.

We have already begun living a more intentional life by simplifying our belongings and how we use our time, but I continue to feel that there is another step coming.

I still need to work at my position (for financial reasons) and I do care about it, but feel there is more.

I appreciate any advice you may have for moving this process forward. 

My reply:

You’re so very welcome, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it 🙂

I would love to have known a little bit more details about everything, but that’s how it is when a conversation is via writing.

The more personal details of the challenge, the easier it is for me to respond. 

But it’s never possible to get as clear picture of a situation as it would be if we were talking to each other face to face.

That’s the greatest benefit from private mentoring/guidance/coaching, it’s the direct and immediate interaction between two people.

It’s of course a completely different kind of connection than what writing can ever provide.

In sessions I’m able to give more unique guidance to your specific life situation and guide you towards the path that holds the greatest promise for a fulfilling and meaningful life for you.

Get in touch if this is something you would like to do 🙂

Moving on to the article:

So you’re in a transitional phase of your life.

A new chapter is about to open up but you can’t see what it will be about yet and the feeling of not-knowingness can be a very uncomfortable place to be in a to move through.

It can be very tense (and intense) and sometimes even frustrating where there’s a deep feeling of meaninglessness and hopelessness.

Like nothing is ever going to change, that nothing is moving and never will.

But it will, and it is.

The feeling of ‘more coming’ wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t time for the ‘more’ to come. 

Here’s what I suggest you do:

Instead of looking for a big calling, or a specific calling, start small.

What do you feel drawn to do today, now?

Maybe you feel drawn to crate a blog where you share your thoughts about living in a small town for example. 

Start there, start writing, even if no one is reading it. 

I never knew that my writing would lead to me creating a membership site where people ask me questions for example.

That was never my intention, I never had a dream of having my own membership site where I would write articles for people.

I just loved writing (since I was a little girl), and at some point many years ago I remember I wanted my own column in a magazine and applied for those types of jobs.

Even if I knew I wasn’t qualified, and because of the obvious reason that I can’t write correct English nor Swedish anymore and haven’t been able to for more than a decade.

But the calling was there that I wanted to do something like that.

I liked the idea of giving advice to people through my writing and the columnist idea sounded very interesting to me, something I felt drawn to do. 

At that time I don’t even think I knew that membership sites existed, but the calling lead me to start investigating the options I knew were out there, and one of them was to write for magazines.

So naturally I wanted to see if I could get a ‘foot in’ and did what I could to pursuit the calling. 

There’s something within you too that wants to be expressed, and it could be something small.

A small voice inside you that says something similar to you as it did to me.

Just see where it took me to follow the little voice that said “that would be fun” and “this is something I would enjoy doing”, and then from there things unfolded.

And today I have my own “magazine column”, but in a different way than I thought it would be! 🙂 

I had no clue about how things would unfold, I just followed what I enjoyed (writing), and I kept doing it until something else started to come to my awareness, something that took it to the next level.

But in the beginning “the next level” wasn’t even in my thoughts.

That was never my calling until I had grown enough to be able to hear it and then take the ‘next level’ step.

See what I mean? We grow into things. 

It all started with me just wanting to write and then more and more people started to read what I shared and then they started to ask me questions and then one day the idea of a membership site came to me. 

It’s the same with anything really.

Instead of thinking of building an empire (or finding the big calling), just start doing things you enjoy.

Start baking the cookies, throwing the parties, training the dogs, writing the blog etc, whatever it is for you. 

Then the ball starts to roll and when you continue to enjoy what you do then the next idea will naturally come to you that will help you build the career/business (money-making) side of it.

Some people start selling their baby’s clothes on eBay for example simply because they heard a small voice inside them say something like:

“Hey, maybe someone wants to buy these clothes now that my baby has outgrown them?”and then they enjoy it and learn more about selling baby clothes and so on and suddenly a business is starting to emerge and grow from that.

But it started with a smaller calling, an interest in something or an idea that popped into their mind. 

It could be about anything.

Maybe you like baking cookies, or singing karaoke, or maybe you’re technically skilled and love creating video games!

Or maybe you love baby-sitting or taking care of elderly people, or maybe you love creating beautiful flower bouquets.. the list is endless.

What is the thing(s) that you like doing, or would like to do more of? 

On some level you know, we all do, and we’ve always known. 

Sometimes it takes courage to acknowledge these things for ourselves because we’re afraid people will laugh and think we’re silly, or that we will fail and make a fool out of ourselves.

But screw that! 🙂

Whatever it is that you like doing, whatever it is that interests you, do more of those things.

Start doing those things more and look for options that would allow you to do the things you enjoy and make money at the same time. 

Then something new will start to unfold from there. 

Some people had an inner knowing already as a child where they knew what they wanted to do in life and were supported in pursuing and developing that.

More often though, a persons calling comes out of difficult and painful life experiences.

That has been the case for me. 

All the things I’ve been through has made me able to help and support others in the way that I do.

My struggles were necessary so that I could help others, they have enabled me to show others that they don’t have to struggle or suffer. 

I could not have shared what I share had I not gone through the awakening process and all the other challenging things I’ve been through in life.

How can someone really give another person true, genuine guidance and advice if they have only learned things by reading books and taking courses?

You need the real life experiences so that you can grow and so that you can share your insights and knowledge from a place of actual personal experience.

What are those for you? What have you “survived”?

What has been your most painful experiences in life? And what did they teach you?

Is there something there that you can use as a way of expressing and living out your calling or purpose in life?

What good came out of those painful things, the struggling years, the agonizing healing journey, or the challenging times and tribulations that you went through?

I had no clue I would be doing what I do today, no clue!

I just always knew I was meant for something bigger (and that is still in the development stages by the way, you ain’t seen nothing yet! LOL).

Even as a child I knew that, I just didn’t know in what way, and I don’t even think I was actively searching anything later on when I became older. 

In a way I’ve always felt guided in the moment and I’ve also never seen myself as a seeker.

I was never a seeker, in fact I disliked that word (and still do, but it’s a word and sometimes you need to use it :).

I was a founder, and I was very curios and interested in life and knew I had a mission to fulfill, but I didn’t know what it would be about

And when I was at my lowest point (when I was a drug addict) a voice inside me kept saying that I have to live, that I have a destiny to fulfill. 

That voice was what kept me alive in the years before and during the time I was in rehab.

But not every person has to go through hardship to find their calling of course.

Of course not!

But most of us do have a story, we’ve all been through things, and through those things we learned something that made us grow and become a better person.

Our calling is calling us Now. 

I’m living my purpose, my calling, right now, but I did that five, ten and fifteen years ago too. 

It just looks different.

I have never known the specifics of my calling, I don’t believe they can even exist!

No one can know the specifics of their life path.

Life is an unfolding, and what I do now is my calling, but that can change tomorrow.

I’m forever open to what Life wants to do through me, and in all moments, I’m all in.

Life is about following what is calling us right now.

What do you feel called to do today?

Bake cookies? Read a book? Break up with a toxic friend? Stop smoking? What?

What is the calling of the day?

What nudges and impulses do you have?

Pay attention to the inner drive that comes from within to do something, and remember, it can be something small and seeming insignificant and unrelated to a “calling” or “purpose”. 

Pay attention to what is trying to get heard.

Sometimes other people can be nudging you towards your calling too so pay attention and listen to what others are saying to you and about you.

Things like:

“You know so much about wine, you should make your own!”

“You can sing! You should really do something with that voice.”

“Wow, what beautiful poetry you write. You should put all your poems in a book!”

“My GOD these cookies are delicious! No one can make them as you, you should start selling them!”

“You’re such a good listener, I feel I can share anything with you. Have you ever thought about becoming a counselor?”

Or maybe you hear things like:

“You’re so good with children/money/pets/website stuff/technology/organizing/throwing parties”, etc etc.

What are people complimenting you about? 

Pay attention to those things and see if there’s something there that you could start developing. 

There’s a second part to this articles series and it will be published shortly, probably (hopefully) tomorrow.

Until then, ponder the things I’ve shared with you, and also, here’s a couple of (very old!) free PDF’s that could be inspiring for you to read.

You’ll find the link to them at the end of this short blog:

“Find out why you’re here (and then do it)”

❃❃❃

To recap today’s’ article, here’s my suggestions.

Check in with yourself:

  • What seems to call you the most at this point in your life?
  • What small thing can you do today that you would enjoy doing?
  • Is there an idea simmering within you? What is it about?
  • What is the small voice inside you nudging you to do?
  • What impulses do you have today? Where are you drawn?
  • Is there something that you know and maybe you’ve always known, but never done anything with?
  • What painful experiences have you had in life and how have they helped form you into the person you are today? What good came out of those experiences and can you use them somehow to support and help other people? (If helping others is something that you feel called to do).
  • What is the curiosity about that you feel inside of you?
  • How does the universe/Life speak to you through other people? Are they nudging you in a certain direction?

Look into these things and stay tuned for part 2/2 of this article series!

You can read it here when it’s published:

“Our True Calling PART 2/2”

And as always, please feel very welcome to share any thoughts or if you want to clarify or ask something in the comments below!

bright idea

The fact that you feel something ‘more’ is coming is a clear sign that it is coming. Suddenly a great idea will come to you and then it’s your job to do something with it.

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Spiritual Teacher Maria Erving

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My intent is to have people think independently, feel deeply and honestly, and move into a higher knowing of themselves.