Mar
13

Most People Don’t Want To Wake Up

By

Most people live mechanical, disconnected lives, with minds stuffed with beliefs and concepts, and if they are on the spiritual path they are even more stuffed with concepts and different spiritual ideas that they take as being true.

Those concepts they hold on for dear life and protect them with all they have.

They go on pondering things like is there’s a life after death, or “what was I in my previous life” and so on – but why not ponder on if there is life before death? I mean, right now.

Is there Life in your life?

We have not been thrown into life, life is in us (what if you are not in life but the whole of life is you? What if you are not in the universe but you are the universe?) but many look for something outside them that they believe will complete them or make them come alive so to speak (a new lover, a new job or career, a ‘purpose’).

And some look for themselves in another lifetime and believe that if they just knew who they were in their previous life, then they would know themselves more in this, or they think that their doings in this life will have its rewards in the afterlife so they’re a (sometimes resentful) do-gooder who only lives for the sake of some imagined ‘next life’.

My question to you is, are you truly living? Right now? Not after or before, but what is right now. Who are you now

Who cares what or who you or any of us were in a different life? How is that even interesting?

We can’t really know anything outside of this moment (and maybe there isn’t any lives outside of this, all that is just speculation), but the ego loves to take us away from this moment, because when we are really present here and now it can’t go on doing its thing. 

Awakening is to wake up from the person we take ourselves to be, the one who believes in all kinds of spiritual ideas and that doesn’t like to feel the slightest uncomfortable of challenged. 

Even now, be aware of your reaction to me and my words, just notice if you’re open or closed to hearing them.

I’m not looking for your agreement to what I say or write, you can either chose to leave my website or read on – but what I do invite you to do is to become aware of your reactions to what I share and then look into who it is that has those reactions, no matter what reactions you might have.

It’s the looking that invites something new to be seen because many have lots of opinions and reactions to other peoples points of views and perspectives but very few look closely into who it is that has all those opinions in the first place. (I’m not saying opinions are wrong and that you should not have them). 

Who is it that likes and dislikes? Who agrees or disagrees? Who listens, and how? Are you taking this in intellectually (conceptually) or is your heart open and receptive?

It’s usually painful to get illusions and beliefs crushed, but my job is not about entertaining ego’s and make them feel better about themselves, but to actually challenge what you believe to be true about yourself and life.

As I said, I’m not looking for agreement or approval, I don’t want you to believe me, I want you to look and then see for yourself.

We grow up and get conditioned to think in certain ways and not many look into that, they just assume that that’s how it is, that’s how life is, and they never look beyond anything. 

Our convictions can be very strong, and convictions has to do with ideas and beliefs while Truth is not a concept, it’s not something we can believe in or package into a nice new concept that we then can sell to others. The Ultimate Enlightenment Kit, Buy Now – Hurry, Hurry! 🙂

We can’t even tell others what it is – it’s something that each and everyone has to realize for themselves and see the reality of, and you can’t put words to that. No description will do.

I’m not into playing games, and sometimes I’m perhaps too personal in my sharing (from a business point of view) but as I don’t do the whole guru thing with gazing eyes and having a constant blissful smile on my face, my approach is maybe not that attractive to many, and especially to very heavy and dense ego’s who has expectations of how others should or should not behave.

Awakening does not take away our humanity and I think me being authentic and open about my own journey can be helpful to others as people can see that I’m not much different from them, theres nothing special about me and I have my dance to dance as well as you have.

Life will still go on and we all have our own path to go. 

I think revealing my humanity to you is what is called for – I don’t want to hide behind a glossy image.

We, or humanity, are so caught up in labels, but what value do they have to the real you?

Identification with any labels introduces suffering through fear and desire.

Fear and desire introduces the need to protect, sustain and enhance the ego.

It feels threatened, that’s basically what it is about.

Step out of yourself and see this.

Think of something right now that causes any kind of anxiety, worry, frustration or (emotional) pain.

Think about it.

Notice the desire under it – before the suffering there is a desire, and it’s not the ordinary type of desire that is light and free like “how nice it would be to have an ice-cream now”, or “wow, that’s a nice house, I would love to have a house like that myself some day”, no, this desire that causes suffering is more a craving, like you crave to have it (whatever it is you desire) or else you won’t be happy.

Now can you let go of that?

Or will you let your well-being depend on that thing, situation or person that you think will get you what you think will fulfill your craving?

Do you now see how the ego makes your happiness tied up to its desire? 

When the identification to the ego drops, the attachment to any desires drops as well.

Naturally.

But the dropping or letting og can’t be done with an ulterior motive such as “if I let go of this desire then I will get what I want”. 

No, you let go without any expectations, and you let go because you see the absurdity in continuing living life from the perspective of the ego and what It want’s to either have or what it want’s to avoid. (Desire/fear).

It kind of becomes so obvious that its ways won’t do any longer so you drop it.

Maybe many times before everything has truly been let go of (some things can take years), but every time you drop it is sincere and comes from a honest and true place within you, and each time things become more and more clear

But before Truth is realized fully, there usually is a lot of pain, suffering and frustration, and if you’re not ready and willing to get your beliefs challenged, you will never be free. (Although a sudden awakening can happen even though those are very rare).

The situations of your life needs not change for transformation to occur, only you – and change and transformation comes through awareness.

Not by learning a new technique or change one belief-system for another, believed to be a better one.

Techniques only conditions your mind to a new set of false beliefs; all that you do is you program yourself to believe new ideas and concepts to be true, while they’re not true at all.

You have to see through your conditioning, but as long as you identify with the conditioned self your perspective will remain very narrow.

When seeing through the narrow perspective of the ego you experience life only through what you believe to be true and real, but the true nature of reality is beyond every concept you can think of.

But you have to look for yourself, this is not a new belief system to merely accept as being true.

Awakening is about waking up from the person you think you are and the process will remove the boundaries you have put up and sustained throughout your whole life, so yes, it can be a painful thing to go through.

Disturbing even.

Most people are asleep, some are even having a nightmare, but do they want to wake up?

Do they want to live a life that is theirs? Where they follow what is true in their hearts instead of living a life where most everything has to do with material comfort and money, ie living to survive and make money and drink beer in the weekend to ‘relax’ or going to silent retreats to basically ‘take a break from life’?

Most people don’t want to wake up, they prefer relief from their suffering, even if it’s only a temporarily relief.

Waking up is not necessarily pleasant or comfortable – many times it’s not, the process can be very painful and confusing so many try to avoid the process and instead of going into it they try to make themselves (the ego) feel better and empowered.

What I also have noticed is that people are less tolerant with each other; it’s like the human connection has been reduced somehow – many more people are living and having their social lives on the internet and it’s so easy to just dismiss someone that doesn’t live up to their expectations or ideas of how someone should be and behave.

It’s so easy to simply unlike/unfollow someone if they don’t tell you what you want to hear, or if they say something you don’t like.

The ego is very easily offended and sensitive and does not like to feel challenged.

While at the same time most humans want a true and real relationship with another human being, but how can that come about if we’re not open to each others differences more?

I don’t mean tolerate someone being an asshole, but to be open to a different way of looking at things, or at least be honest if we don’t want to hear about it. That in turn can open up the conversation but maybe in a different direction. 

We could say that ‘yeah, that’s an interesting perspective you have, tell me more about that’, or ‘yeah, I see what you mean, I just don’t see it that way. This is how I see it, .. ‘ etc (even to say honestly that you’re not interested instead of just pushing a button and that person is out of your life basically) but no, lets not feel the slightest uncomfortable – let’s instead look for that someone that will fulfil all our expectations and that can make us feel good right away and always.

Good luck with that.

There is no such person, situation or concept, but the ego likes to believe it exist so it jumps from this concept to that, from that guru to that other spiritual teacher, from this technique to that, and so forth, desperately trying to find that One perfect situation or person who can give them what they think they need and who says just the right things to them so that they will feel all good and jolly inside.

But with that said I do also have a feeling people are moving away from the computers more and into having real human interactions with each other, so there’s hope for humanity 🙂

No matter how much you search, you will not find someone who always agrees with you 100% at all times, but you will find plenty of people who will tell you that you’re special (even if they tell you that you are broken and need to be fixed, they make you feel special and your ego revels in being coddled with) and who tells you that you’re on this or that level of some spiritual idea of enlightenment or spiritual development (which makes the ego feel special and evolved) while in the reality there is no such thing as a special level of consciousness that you have to strive to get to. (Or even worse, pay someone to get to).

But the ego wants to hear there is, it want’s to think that a course or retreat will get them there, or touching or kissing a gurus feet will in some magical way rub off some of that enlightenment on them, or find someone who can agree with them when they say they think they are an ‘advanced soul’ or whatever.

Any kind of measurement of their progress to what they call enlightenment is what the ego likes. (The ego’s idea of enlightenment is not even close to what it is in reality).

All those things that ego does only strengthens the illusion and makes people more deluded, especially so called spiritual people because they are more full of concepts than the average person.

The best thing that can happen to someone on the spiritual path is to meet another human being who challenges every one of those beliefs and theories they carry, but that’s the last thing the ego wants to happen so it keeps looking for ways to temporarily relieve its suffering. (Which it has has inflicted on itself).

The ego  has its ideas of how awakening is and then if they happen to have a spiritual experience (which is not the same as awakening to reality) then they go on and imitate some guru or teacher by acting like them and doing their best to behave like they think an awakened being should behave, and innocently actually believing that they have awakened while all they had was a spiritual experience.

So instead of letting go of the experience (as they come and go) they put it on like a garment over the already deluded ego and voila we have a new messiah that wants to save the world, or someone who thinks they have arrived so they get stuck in the memory of the experience and never move beyond it. 

All the charades that are played just reeks of inauthenticity to me, and when someone says things like ‘learn how to connect with the higher self’ in the context of spiritual awakening it just tells me that they have no clue about what awakening is.

There is no higher self. There is no lower self. There is only one self and a new technique to ‘connect with your higher self’ is yet another programming of the mind.

Have you ever looked closely into who it is that thinks he/she has a lower and higher self? I mean, how many of you are there? Have you looked?

Many times people that has a spiritual experience thinks that it is the Big Awakening, but an experience is not the same as an awakening, an experience happens to you and then the ego wants to own the experience so it says ‘it happened to me, this is my awakening’, while a genuine awakening crushes every sense of the false self, it crumbles every belief-system, and there’s a shift in identity where you no longer are who you have though you were.

So the you who the experience happened to is who you wake up from, and that is usually a process and not a one time thing such as an experience, no matter how awesome or out-of-worldly it may have been to have had the spiritual experience.

Usually the awakening is a process, and in that process the person who had a spiritual experience in the past will keep recreating and rebuilding itself for while before its let go of totally.

So you don’t get to keep anything in the process.

And that’s no fun to the ego:)

It wants the awakening to be the end, like there’s a finish line to cross and then there’s eternal bliss and wonderfulness for all eternity, but awakening is actually the beginning of a process that is not always filled with blissful experiences.

Nakedness and emptiness is not attractive to the ego.

The ego craves the garment of awakening to be put upon it, when in reality it’s not about what you can get but what you can let go of, and it’s ultimately about surrendering yourself completely.

Transformation comes from observation and with no judgements or opinions of where you imagine yourself to be or how evolved you think you are – it means you have to be open to look at how the mind works, become aware of its ways, and see clearly what you are not and when you really see that, the false will drop away and the truth of your being will remain, and when it does, you can’t call it anything nor is the need to describe it there either.

It can’t be labeled, and slapping a label on something is the death of truth, simple as that.

Are you willing to have your labels, descriptions, ideas and beliefs challenged? Only then you are ready for the deeper truth and real transformation. Before that you’re only entertaining and sustaining the false self with spiritual ideas and games.

What do you value more? That’s the question, because this path requires mainly one thing from any of us and that is sincerity and authenticity, a willingness to get what is untrue to be crushed and removed, because it’s in the unlearning that truth comes forth.

Not because it’s hidden, but because of all the layers and layers of beliefs and concepts that has been put on top of it for years and even decades.

It doesn’t have to take ages to clear your mind from nonsense, it’s not even you who do it.

All you have to do is to admit that you might have it all wrong, about pretty much about everything in life and about yourself, and that you are willing to see what is real and true, and then Life can take over because you are no longer protecting the false sense of self and all its ideas about life. 

Almijara mountains

The nature here in Andalusia is breathtakingly beautiful –

I’m so grateful that I get to experience this.

Other articles that you might like: 

“… In that sense the ego was indeed needed, the ignorance was needed, the not knowing who you are created the suffering you needed, and that suffering is what eventually leads to the spiritual awakening..” : Let Grace Transform You

“… Awakening can be inconsistent (we go back and forth) for a while until the remnants of whatever karma or ego there is left to deal with has been cleaned out..” : Fear Takes Us Back To Duality (Ego=fear)

“… Life opens up when we realize on a deep, fundamental level that we don’t know anything. When our minds has been cleared of concepts and belief systems and ideas..”: Arriving At ‘I don’t know’ Can Be Terrifying For The Ego

“… All this is only preventing you from realizing Truth, all the excuses the ego makes are designed for the sole reason that you won’t look deeper into the Truth that is already present..”: Stop Postponing Truth

“… Maybe that’s why so many people are not following through on their inner knowing, because of the fact that one can never know where the following of that will lead.

“… As long as you only ‘believe’, you will stay on a conceptual level. In the awakening process the only thing that will ever do, is direct experience. Nothing else..” : Ten Ways That Keeps Us From Awakening

“… There’s no control.. “: The Trial Is The Initiation To Truth

Spiritual Teacher Maria Erving

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Comments

  1. Nina says:

    Thank you, this really opened my eyes in a difficult time. Yes, I thought I had got it all, I had spiritual moments believing I was changed as a person completely, that “from now on, I can’t be anything but happy” and that nothing would ever be able to bring me down again. I told people to find things to be grateful for and focus on other things than the things that kept them feeling down. It was so easy for me, I had been able to go through difficulties without letting it get me down….but what I didn’t understand, was that there are ‘difficulties’ and there are difficulties. Suddenly, out of the blue, I got difficulties the way it just felt like being punched in the midriff and not being able to get rid of it again. Like having a fist smashed in and then poking around in there. I was afraid, sad, in despair and totally paralyzed with grief. And I was chocked that this could happen to me. I had been convinced that I was better than that, better than bringing myself down with fear and negative thoughts. So I started to beat myself up about it. Even listening to Abraham Hicks only got me so far, like a short relief before it all started again.

    Reading your article helped put some common sense perspective to it all. Thank you so much 🙂

  2. Maria Erving says:

    So glad to hear it gave you some deeper insight into your process Nina.

    Thank you for sharing so open-heartedly about your experiences, I love when people do that.

    It sounds like you’re in a deeper transformational process which is good; the fear and even panic many people experience is part of the awakening process as the ego is loosing its control in your life. (See articles below for further reading).

    Fear can only be ignored once we have actually moved and worked our way through it, and not by denying its existence pretending “all is well” when we’re not really feeling or experiencing that. (I don’t mean to say that you are doing that).

    Only then (by doing inner transformational work) can we go through life not letting fear disturb us or control us.

    (Because we have had the courage to face it and by doing that we come to have a deep insight into its nature).

    And with negative thinking; it doesn’t mean that one should not use their ability to think critically for example, or have opinions that might ruffle some feathers etc.

    That’s not being “negative” at all.

    In some mainstream spiritual communities many think what they have been taught to think and one of the things are that ”negative thinking is bad and should be avoided at all cost”.

    But life is a bit deeper than that as you too have discovered.

    It’s not the surface thinking that is the fundamental thing here; it’s our core beliefs and our true attitude towards life that determines the quality of life and our emotions and feelings (and thinking).

    To change on a fundamental level there has to be a transformation of consciousness and that can only come about when we allow ourselves to go through the different processes that our spiritual development presents to us.

    Some of it has to do with fear, because fear is what keeps people locked/stuck in a state of (ego) consciousness and in the mainstream spiritual arena most of the teachings are about avoiding and denying fear at all cost so no change really happens in the individual.

    There’s always a little bit of insecurity or the need to really step out and stretch yourself to go beyond what ‘has been’ before we can enter into the new level of consciousness and we can only ‘go there’ once the old one has played out its role in our life.

    That means serious inner work 🙂 (Of course it depends on many things as we are all different).

    In the awakening process one goes through periods of fear and other challenges, but unless the pain is worked through nothing really happens in regards to the inner transformation that is necessary.

    When ignored or denied by doing things to merely “feel better”, people just feel jolly for a while and then back to misery (or unhappiness).

    And then back to feeling good for a while, and back to misery again…

    Our thinking affects perspective and experience, absolutely, but it is our beliefs that needs to be looked at critically and deeply.

    Not in an ”negative” way, but in a sincere and honest way because we don’t want to delude ourselves, we want to be free thinkers and liberated from beliefs that don’t serve us.

    By focusing only on the level of thought we can never change the cause, which is consciousness and our core beliefs that run in our subconscious mind.

    Our life is consciousness objectified and not an effect of merely ‘thinking’.

    It’s how we really feel about things that molds the thoughts into beliefs and that is a conditioning thing, it goes very deep.

    There’s programs running in the minds of every human that comes from God-knows-when that needs to be seen and and then let go of.

    So self-awareness is the key, brutal honesty with ourselves, deep sincerity and desire to know the Truth (which is not a new belief-system), and by being true to the process of self-realization.

    Then the false nonsense is cleaned out (among them fear) and then what is left is who we really are.

    And then (mental/emotional) fear have nothing on us, it can’t touch us.

    And it’s not an enemy (something to get rid of), it’s just something that we don’t give any attention to because we know where it originates from.

    Then we can be free.

    I have written a great deal about fear and ego panic etc. Have a look at the articles below and see if they resonate with you.

    (Some might be for members only as I don’t remember which ones are for the public and which ones are for members only).

    Hope you find them helpful:

    https://plus.google.com/+MariaErving2/posts/NLJkymF5FgP

    http://mariaerving.com/ego-panics-1/

    http://mariaerving.com/ego-resists-light/

    http://mariaerving.com/meeting-fear-and-pain/

    http://mariaerving.com/even-fear-has-a-purpose/

    http://mariaerving.com/with-spiritual-development-fear-and-worry-disappears/

    http://mariaerving.com/cause-of-fear/

    http://mariaerving.com/when-overwhelmed-with-fear/

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When you’re in flow with life you live in harmony with yourself and the universe. This is true oneness.