Something Beautiful In Every Person (Giving what you want)
That something is God.
There are people in this world doing stupid things, even evil and cruel things, but they are not evil, their doing is.
And even when saying that; I can’t be the judge of right and wrong as I know that I know nothing of the reasons of anything, that would be arrogant of me to assume that I know the truth of things and people based on my opinions and perceptions. (Which change, while Truth never does).
God has the whole picture and I’m humble enough to know that I have no idea of what anything really means.
(None of us know, we can only make up stories about events and happenings but Truth is way beyond mind in every regard).
They just don’t know who they are, that’s what Jesus meant when he said “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing“.
If they knew who they are they would not be able to harm others; Love would never do that to itself.
When differentiating between people and their doings, we are able to see their innocence, and to love unconditionally means that we have to let go of our ideals.
If we are to stay in a relationship for example and are talking about unconditional love, then there can’t be any ideal picture for the other to have to live up to, no demands of how he or she should be or what we expect from them.
That could be between lovers, friends or family members, or any kind of relationship that means a lot to us; we simply have to let go of the ideal image that a parent should always support their child no matter what for example, we need to let go of the ideal that our partner should always listen to us and have our back.
(If you have already chosen him/her of course. To know what you are looking for in a partner beforehand helps you stay true to your self and not get involved with someone that doesn’t listen or whatever it may be).
We have to let go of all should and should not’s if we say our love is free and unconditional.
If they don’t live up to our expectations, and we say we love them (and we have chosen to be with them), then we have to let go and let them be who they are and not put any kind of demands or conditions on our love for them, because if we do we will suffer.
(And so will they, and your relationship)
We might have the ideal picture of families always sticking up for each other, to always be there no matter what, but if they aren’t and we say we love them, then we should embrace the truth of what is and not demand them to support us.
The truth being that not all families are supportive, that’s really a myth (in fact, families are more our toughest spiritual teachers than anything else if we look more deeply into the dysfunctional relationship we might have with them.. you might remember the quote by Ram Dass: “If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family.”:-) and an ideal that keeps people in resentment because they have a belief that families should be in a certain way.
Well, they aren’t, so suck it up (no one is forcing you to be with them, you are always free to leave) and see the blessings and (ultimately beautiful) lesson in what’s in front of you; It’s always about unconditional love when we look deeper and beyond our own desires and wants.
If our love is unconditional we would be able to see the innocence in the people in our lives that we say we love and set them free from our demands.
When we don’t know who we really are we do harmful things, and we do harmful things because we fear that we won’t get something, or we will loose something – whatever it is, it’s always about us not knowing that we are what we look for in others or the world at large.
We can still be true to ourselves (we don’t become door-mats), and in fact, when demands looses their grip, love can flow easily and integrity shows in everything we do, say and express.
I saw an old man in the grocery-shop today, and he was kind of a bag-man (male ‘bag-lady’) and he was repeating a weird sound endlessly and thus many people starred at him and some almost laughed at him and kind of looked to me for approval to do that, but I looked at them and I let them know that I don’t see anything funny in making fun of other people.
It broke my heart to witness this, and I sent him a silent blessing, seeing the beautiful soul that he was.
If our love is free (which true love is), then we should really take a good look at ourselves and see where we can be more loving ourselves if we feel that that is somehow lacking in our lives.
If we demand that others respect us; maybe we could respect ourselves and others more..
If your parent is not supporting you, if your partner is not listening to you, if your friend’s always late or whatever, then maybe you could look into how you and support them more, how you can love them, how you can have integrity and self-respect if you don’t see that in your friend.
What we want from others is something we are to give to others as we are one.
The need in you is the need in the other; Love is simply giving to itself all the time.
Wishing you all a beautiful autumn, wherever you are. Took this pic the other day when I was out walking, such beautiful colors I almost cried, I was so touched by the beauty.
Here’s some other posts that you might like:
“…Have you any idea how common it is for people to think about what others think of them? To be concerned about what others might have thought of them yesterday when they said something that wasn’t what everyone else thought? And if they really could do this thing they really feel passionate about- what if people laugh at them, or thought they were.. well, different?…” : http://mariaerving.com/what-will-they-think-of-me/
“…Who can you show appreciation to today? Maybe you have a friend that you assume knows you love them; but why not tell them that today? And when was the last time you gave someone a hug just because?…” : http://mariaerving.com/i-appreciate-you/
Power of Forgiveness and Acceptance (Free PDF; direct-link, no opt in required)