Living a Spiritual Life in a Material World
“Will I ever be able to live a normal life again?”
“I’ve been on this journey for a few years.
Initially like you’ve mentioned in one of your older articles I considered monastic living, becoming a nun, so I didn’t have to go back into the world.
I became so comfortable in my solitude, in prayer.
That never happened, but being unable to mesh my spiritual life in the material world has been devastating.
It’s been impossible to hold jobs, because I can’t handle being with people much anymore.
I used to be able to handle so much professional stress, highly demanding work, now, I can barely work a full day without feeling exhausted.
On top of that, I suppose out of fear, I opted to move in with my mom.
I’m a grown up and this is hard, she is going through her own depression, is lonely and just doesn’t get that I want to be alone.
She doesn’t get boundaries, she comes in my room as she pleases, despite me asking her not to, and she feels the need to share every thought with me, I have no personal space.
We are both home most of the time, and I feel like I’m going to explode.
Were there times you had no space, when you longed for solitude and felt like you had to hide from everyone, times you felt you could not work and wondered how you would support yourself?
Times when you didn’t have the energy for ‘life’?
I try to trust, but I am scared.
Scared that I’ll never be able to live a normal life, hold a job, find a place to call home.
Scared that I’ll never want to be with people and discuss things like weather, politics, news, gossip.
I really enjoy silence and talking about my spiritual experiences seems to be the only thing I want, sometimes long to share.
I face a lot of judgment from those around me who don’t get it, and can’t understand what is wrong with me and that stresses me.
It sometimes makes me feel I should slip into background into the illusion just to make my shame and guilt go away.
I’m ever grateful for anything you can share.”
Thank you for sharing and for your questions.
“Were there times you had no space, when you longed for solitude and felt like you had to hide from everyone, times you felt you could not work and wondered how you would support yourself?”
Most of the time I was blessed with my own space, but I had enormous pressure from the welfare/social security at one point in my life that lasted for many years.
I’ve also lived with people who didn’t get me at all and I had to deal with them as well, so yes, I’ve experienced pressure, for sure.
What I did though, was to work my ass off to bring my work to life (this website and everything I do and share).
I worked, worked, worked, and gave, gave, gave, poured it all out from my heart as best as I could.
My advice is to give yourself to Truth and do what you’re guided to do even if you don’t know how you’re going to support yourself.
I was determined that I would never (ever!) settle for an average life, I would literally rather die.
I did not want to merely have a job to make money and “survive”, it’s just not for me, so I worked my ass off.
I put all my time and energy (I’m talking 12-16 hour days) on both my inner work and the work of this website without getting anything in return for a very, very long time.
So you too need to find your focus and then go for it no matter what happens on the way.
Moving on to your questions;
If there were times I had no space; definitely, as I’ve just shared with you, but most of the time I must say that I was blessed with being able to do my work in peace and have some space at least where I could be alone.
And I spent a lot of alone time in nature as well, and that is available to all of us, even if we live with other people.
People in my life has also always known that I like and prefer solitude, so I haven’t really felt as if I had to explain my need to be alone.
I took the time and expected others to respect that, so they did.
But with that said; I have also had people around me that has been judgmental towards me, ridiculed me and so on because I followed my own thing and not ‘the worlds’.
They didn’t believe in me, but I believed in me (and my path), and that was enough, although of course it would have been nice if I had had some support, but I didn’t, and that was how it was.
So I just kept working my ass off and ignored them even if it at times of course got to me and felt hurtful, especially when it came from people that were somewhat close to me.
But I knew they would never get me, and I still have people in my life that will never really know me, but it doesn’t bother me anymore because I know that we live in such different worlds and that they are not able to relate to mine.
“Were there times when you didn’t have the energy for ‘life’?”
Not sure what exactly you mean by this (feel free to elaborate in the comments below).
Of course I was a times exhausted, both spiritually, mentally and emotionally, but my energy was never pointed towards “life” in the sense that I was trying to fit into the world and have a ‘normal life’.
My whole focus was on Truth (not even awakening), Truth was all I cared about and that I was true to.
In that dedication I also had responsibilities to take care of in ‘the world’, which I did, and when I had done the things I ‘had to do’, I immediately turned back to my true “purpose” which was to live a life of Truth.
So again; I worked my ass off of. That I always had energy to (I have always loved being productive and inspired).
Here’s an article that you might like:
“I became so comfortable in my solitude, in prayer… being unable to mesh my spiritual life in the material world has been devastating.
It’s been impossible to hold jobs, because I can’t handle being with people much anymore.”
Do you honestly want a “job”? Is that what you really want?
Or do you want to do your own thing?
If you want to do your own thing, then get started as soon as you can (=today).
Take this opportunity now that you’re living with your mom to for example save up money and also make sure that you use your time constructively.
Regarding your relationships: They will change and transform and in this process you will learn how to relate to people again.
Here’s a post with links to some of my articles about relationship changes:
I can tell you that I was never “comfortable in prayer” as you put it, I always followed the flow of Truth; the truth within me and the Truth of the moment.
But I was never hanging out in the space of only being quiet (or “in prayer”).
Is that what you’re doing?
If so, then you need to start taking more constructive action when Life is calling you to do so.
I think you’re wasting your time on looking for jobs (unless you really want one) when Life might be asking something totally different from you (your own path/vocation).
Does this resonate with the core of your being, does it feel true?
Do you hear a specific calling, and are you resisting it because you don’t know how it will allow you to make a living?
Here’s a few articles that might be helpful to you:
Remember, you have ONE life, so make the most of it.
About the situation you have with your mom (where she’s not giving you space/respecting your privacy):
Usually the “lesson” when someone is intruding on your personal space is to have them back off, and that’s the challenge if you’re not used to demanding your own space.
It’s not a lesson where you will have to learn how to adapt to someone else’s behavior, which many people think as they think it’s more “spiritual” to become a doormat than being assertive, but it’s about standing up for yourself.
It’s either that, or you have to move out and find your own place.
Or save up money and go travel the world.
Make the most of where you are and what you have.
I have done that; I even saved as much as I could from the food money I got from the welfare office and I never did anything “fun” that others did, I ‘sacrificed’ those things for something better that I knew would come later on.
They had more ‘fun’ than me and could do and buy more things than I could, but I had something they didn’t have; I had a dream, a goal, a calling.
Well, we all have a calling, but I answered it, that was the difference between us.
I answered the call, and have continuously answered the call.
I’ve experienced and enjoyed a lot of things without having had enough money in my life.
Life has taken me on amazing journeys and always sent me everything I have ever needed, just in time, never too late.
So there are no excuses. Anyone can do what I did, but very few will.
I went through the things I went through (both the ups and downs of life) so that I can share them with you today.
Most people have trust issues towards Life and their own true path so they never do anything, they just go on existing and never really living.
How can you ever learn to fully trust if you never take a huge leap of faith and just jump when Life asks you to?
Trust grows with the leaps you take. So take many.
Then you will see how Life meets you in magical and miraculous ways.
Before that you will never know.
So again I want to ask you;
What is there within you that is calling you?
What wants your attention?
Feed that, give that your all.
“.. Scared that I’ll never be able to live a normal life, hold a job, find a place to call home. Scared that I’ll never want to be with people and discuss things like weather, politics, news, gossip.”
If that’s what your true expression is and want then you will, don’t worry about it.
Your life will never be “normal” perhaps, and you might never get a job, but you will get something better.
Instead of a normal life, you will get your own life.
Instead of a job, you will find your vocation.
You will be able to talk about ordinary things with people again even if you’re no longer of this world.
And you will not always have the need to only talk about spiritual things.
Those needs will fall away as you progress because life after awakening is not ‘more spiritual’, it’s actually not much spiritual at all.
You become who you are, and you come home to yourself and your humanness.
“.. being unable to mesh my spiritual life in the material world has been devastating.
It’s been impossible to hold jobs, because I can’t handle being with people much anymore.
I used to be able to handle so much professional stress, highly demanding work, now, I can barely work a full day without feeling exhausted.”
You’re changing and your life is changing.
It won’t look the same when Truth is done with the work within you, and in this process you will find your own way in this world.
Your spiritual life and material life will come into alignment and become one flow, and that flow will not be neither spiritual or material, but it will be unique and out of this world.
You will be in this world but not of it.
Same goes with what you will end up doing in terms of work.
It will be something that doesn’t belong in a box called “spiritual world” nor will it fit into the box that says “material world”.
It’s incredibly difficult to explain, there are really no words to explain it, other than it will just be very different from what you’re experiencing right now.
You’ll be doing work that you enjoy doing and feel called to do and you will be driven from a very powerful place within yourself and not from the ambitions of the ego.
Everything kind of just falls into place and the flow becomes different and the work you do becomes almost effortless (because the foundation has been built and is now stable).
My healing work can help accelerate the process and put you in the flow of Life: GO HERE to learn more.
Here’s another article that you might like:
So at this time in your life I would say that you need to find out what the calling is and then start taking action on it.
Then you will get into flow with it, and you’ll shift into a different gear where there is only one thing going on and that action and non-action is a flow of ease and effortlessness (oneness with Life itself; being the flow, where you are the flow).
And when this flow becomes your life you will be able to move around the sleeping people of the world without reacting so much to where they are in consciousness.
You might not enjoy gossiping as much anymore though, but you will definitely be able to talk about ordinary things with others every now and then without much effort or strain at all (or reaction).
It’s a totally different kind of life, and if you end up having a highly demanding job like you had before in your old life, you will be able to handle it in a totally different way.
You will be able to handle any professional stress factors in a completely different way than before too.
So right now, where you are at the moment in your life, I would suggest that you forget about meshing your spiritual and material world and instead focus on working on yourself and also working on some project or plan that has to do with your calling in this world.
Or simply a calling, which can for example be about traveling somewhere or something else that is unrelated to a vocation or “purpose” in life in terms of work.
And then as you do that, things will “mesh” and come together naturally on their own.
Focus is the keyword.
Focus on the things you can do (and are guided to do) and let all the other things and challenges work themselves out.
Things will come together naturally when you surrender to the true flow of your life.
Hope this was helpful to you and if you have any further questions or thoughts you want to share then please do so in the comments below.
My best articles has up until now been for my members only, and now you can read them too!
More about that here: