Stalk Your FearBy
Instead of running away from your fears, meet them!
So many people are giving away their power to their fear instead of meeting and dealing with it.
Here’s what to do when feeling overwhelmed with fear:
Turn towards it and say something like “Okay, ‘fear’, let’s look at you! Closely. Let’s see what is so scary about you”, and I promise you that what you discover will absolutely set you free from it.
Instead of automatically jump on board on whatever stories the mind tells you (scary stories about this and that); confront them.
You might like this article as well: MariaErving.com/we-dont-have-to-believe-our-thoughts
Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into fear, worry, anger, imaginary conclusions, drama etc.
Stop the stream of thoughts and turn towards the fear and say:
“Okay, let’s look at this. Let’s look at where the fear comes from and if there’s really something to be afraid of”.
Stalk your fear!
I help my clients with this in sessions but to share the short version; you simply start dissecting the story around the fear you have to see if it’s valid or not.
For example if worry about money comes up;
Write down the story you have about it.
It could be something like “How am I going to pay next months rent, oh my God, .. ” and then the mind-chatter begins and the pictures of doom and gloom starts to bombard you and the imaginary conversations escalate etc etc.
And very quickly the mind-made story escalates and everything about it gets blown up way out of proportion and causes you stress and anxiety and makes you a nervous, frightened, worried wreck.
Fear now has you in its grip.
You know what I mean?
If you do, here’s what you can do:
Don’t run away from the fear but move towards it.
Turn around and face your fear. Look it in the eye.
“Let me look closely at you FEAR, let me see what is so scary about you!”
Do this now with whatever fear you might have.
Fear is usually about losing something or fear of not getting something, so look at any fear you have and do this exercise.
Take a pen and a notebook and write your fear down.
“I’m afraid I will not be able to pay rent this month”.
“I’m afraid my partner will leave me”.
“I’m afraid that they will get angry with me”.
“I’m afraid they won’t like me”.
“I’m afraid ______”.
Whatever your fear is, look at it and write it down.
In this example let’s follow the first fear I mentioned of not being able to pay rent.
Next, write down the fearful story your ego has made up about it.
What’s the story around your fear?
It could be for example:
“I will become homeless and live on the streets”.
And then look at Reality.
Where are you now? Probably sitting in your kitchen drinking coffee and all is well, right?
Yes, you have rent to pay, that’s a fact, but the fearful story is not a fact, it’s a story and you don’t have to believe it just because it’s thrown at you by your ego.
Now write down at least 5 other kinds of scenarios that could happen.
See that they are only different stories, just as the one you chose to believe in and that threw you into anxiety and fear.
But they too are merely stories, nothing more than that.
What five other stories could you make up in your mind?
1.) I might get new clients/customers/business opportunities coming in in the next couple of weeks that brings me the extra cash I need.
2.) It’s only the middle of the month and a lot of positive things can happen before it’s time to pay rent! I might even get an unexpected bonus or monetary gift.
And so on. Write down at least five different stories.
When you do this you will come to realize that every scenario is a merely a possibility (and the possibilities and probabilities are countless!), so ask yourself why you chose to believe the worst case scenario?
When there are so many other perspectives you can have to the same situation!
Interesting isn’t it?
This exercise will expose your ego and the more aware you become of it, the less it will bother you because you’ve come to see through it.
Fear is a story in your mind and not real.
You come to realize that the fear and worry comes from believing in one perspective over another but the fact remains ‘naked’ (neutral) and completely unaffected by your thoughts about it.
Yes, rent has to be paid (=the fact/Reality) but do you have to allow yourself to be drawn into any fears about it..?
No. Absolutely not.
You have the choice of believing something positive can happen instead of believing the version (=story) that your ego gave you.
That way you can always stay in a peaceful state of mind.
Because there are so many different possibilities available!
And if you can write down at least five of them you will come to see this very clearly, so don’t just ‘think’ them.
Do the exercise. Dissect your fears.
The ego works in this way; it always operates from a base of fear (that’s how it gets fed and continues to live in you) and by honing in on one single imagination the ego throws at you, you block the other (more positive) ones out because of the fear it creates in you (that you allow it to create in you).
But when you open up to all the other possibilities and probabilities that are available to you then you’re able to handle any challenges in a much better and healthier (and peaceful) way.
To take this even further I would say ‘don’t believe anything your mind throws at you’.
Don’t believe in any of the alternatives or probabilities, but remain open; don’t get stuck in any one single perspective even if it’s a good one (aka “positive”).
Instead, stay detached and free in your mind, because there are so many other ways things can go (an infinite number of ways, and you have just stated five of them!) that you have no clue about at this moment!
So stay open and receptive.
Don’t believe in anything but your own ability to handle the way life unfolds in any given moment.
Believe in yourself, not your thoughts.
Stalk your fear, don’t let it get to you.
Challenge and confront the fears, worries and all the drama and imaginary conversations in your head and ask yourself if they are really true, or if it’s just one of many, many (many!) other alternative ways things could go.
Realize that there are an infinite number of different perspectives you could choose to have.
When you do this you will even be able to laugh out loud because you will see so incredibly clearly how the ego voice in your head operates and functions, and the more you become aware of it, the less you can believe it.
It’s just not possible to believe in it anymore after you’ve seen through it.
And the less you believe in it and in its stories, the quieter it gets until it just falls away into the background of your mind where it’s not making any noise at all anymore.
In essence you’re feeding the fear by believing in it but once you stop feeding it it will begin to subside.
Then the ego voice subsides and gets quieter and quieter and can you remain in perfect peace in all situations, even through challenging and trying times in your life.