Sep
19

Can I get my Twin Flame back, or should I let him go?

By
Share

Twin flames, soulmates, and other flame mates.

Dear Maria,

I met my twin flame earlier this year but we are now in separation and he won’t communicate with me.

I have tried so hard to forget him and move on, but his energy is so strong.

I am wanting to manifest the following:

I am a powerful, wise, and courageous awakened woman living and speaking my truth and loving passionately from my Divine feminine.

Every day is an amazing gift as I live my sacred life purpose utilizing my creativity and spiritual gifts.

My life is enriched and made magical by having my warrior Divine Beloved by my side.

Passion, unconditional love, authenticity and a deep sacred soul connection define our relationship, enabling me to be real, vulnerable and open.

Our life flows freely and joyfully as we live in trust and gratitude, learning, growing, supporting and creating together.

Will I achieve my heart’s desire and what do I need to do?

I would love to be in a loving relationship with my twin flame but I know that he is not ready or healthy enough right now.

I accept this even though it hurts, as I only want what is truly for my highest good.

Thank you!

My reply:

Hello _____,

Could you please clarify your question for me, I’m not quite sure exactly what you would like to receive guidance on.

Please provide more details about the specifics of your struggle/issue and then I might be more able to help you (like a specific personal story, explained from your own point of view).

Thank you,

Maria

She wrote this back to me:

Dear Maria,

Thank you for your email.

My struggle is:

Do I trust the twin flame connection and believe that we will be reunited or do I give up and let him go completely – even though I have tried to do so many times without success?

And how do I let him go and manifest my dreams as I feel completely stuck as though nothing I am doing is bringing me closer to my heart’s desire?

Thanks.

My reply:

First let’s clear away the twin flame question.

There is no such thing as a twin flame, soulmate, or any other similar thing.

Look, people come and go throughout our whole lives, and some stay for a long time, while some leave quickly.

Let it happen.

When you strip him off the twin flame suit (that you have put on him), he becomes, .. a person.

Just another ordinary human being, like yourself.

And then your relationship becomes a simple story of two people crossing paths at this particular time in your lives.

Our perspective and perception about those meetings depends on our spiritual (and mental/emotional) maturity.

The moment you put a label on them such as them being a “twin flame” you have limited and restricted them and also put demands on them.

By doing that you’ve created a disconnection with them, with the Truth of their being. 

You’ve labeled this guy to be a perfect being that is suppose you love you in such and such way, be like this and that, and so on, and you expect him to live up to that.

It’s really the ego that is demanding, needy and clingy.

It wants the concept to be true so it clings to it and then when the other person is not living up to the demands and expectations, the ego becomes confused and disappointed.

What you are basically doing is that you’re telling him (even if it’s unconsciously) that “you’re my twin flame, you should love me, we belong together!”. 

Who would not run from someone who behaves like that? I know I would.

So to end the whole twin flame thing, ask yourself what he would be, what your relationship would be, if you didn’t label him as being your twin flame?

What happens now?

Well, then he simply becomes what he is; a person, a guy who were into you at one point, but who is no longer into you. 

So what do you do?

You say goodbye and you move on.

That’s what you do.

What else can you do? 

He’s already telling you to back off by not wanting to communicate with you, so let it go.

Let him go.

If you’re a member of mariaerving.com, you might want to read this article too:

“The Concept Of  Soulmates”

Moving on;

To all your affirmations…

Let’s begin from the beginning.

You wrote:

I am a powerful, wise, and courageous awakened woman living and speaking my truth and loving passionately from my Divine feminine. Every day is an amazing gift as I live my sacred life purpose utilizing my creativity and spiritual gifts.”

My question to you is this:

Would a powerful, wise and courageous woman be needy and clingy..?

You also wrote that every day is a ‘sacred gift’ and your purpose is to ‘utilizing my creativity and spiritual gifts’, so how are you doing that, in concrete terms?

What are those gifts and how are you utilizing them on a day to day basis?

Saying affirmations is obviously not enough.

There needs to be action, so what are those actions in your daily life?

If you’re just saying affirmations you really need to get way deeper in order to understand what the core issues are and start making some actual plans or goals in regards to what it is that you want to create in your life.

You wrote;

My life is enriched and made magical by having my warrior Divine Beloved by my side. Passion, unconditional love, authenticity and a deep sacred soul connection define our relationship, enabling me to be real, vulnerable and open….”

Sorry, but all this has to go.

You have to be able to articulate your desires to yourself in a way that actually makes sense.

A good place to start would be to make from all the words one concrete sentence that will be your guiding light in getting out of this struggle you’re going through.

Create one single sentence that specifies the core thing you want to accomplish (or “manifest”), and then start creating some kind of action plan that allows you to move forward in your life, aligned with your desire.

Distill all these words (affirmations) into one single sentence that encapsulates your desires in a few words, and then start living and doing things in accordance to that sentence.

Moving on; 

What I hear in all this is a deep yearning for love.

A longing for love and connection.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. 

But before you can really have that with another person, you need to first have that with yourself.

You need to learn to love yourself first, and give all those things to yourself, and then later when you have that in place, then someone can come into your life, and then that relationship will be a mature one.

To learn these things you can write down each word of your affirmations and then look into how you can give those things to yourself.

You want “trust”? Then ask yourself;

  • “How can I show myself that I trust myself?”
  • “Where/how am I not trusting myself?”
  • “What would I have to do so I can learn to trust myself?”

You want “love”? Then ask yourself;

  • “How can I show myself that I love myself?”
  • “How can I love myself unconditionally? What would that look like?”
  • “What would I need to change, what behavior do I need to let go of?”

And so on. 

You wrote:

Will I achieve my heart’s desire and what do I need to do?”

Before I respond that I want to say something very important.

Never, ever, ask someone else if you will achieve something or not!

Don’t give anybody that power.

You make that decision and choice.

And I would also say that you should never involve specific people in your desires.

Let them be free too, just like you want to be free (as we all want to be).

Just look at it from their perspective and you’ll see what I mean.

You might want to read this article as well: 

“Is it possible to change destiny? How?”

Moving on;

First you need to decide specifically what your desires actually are.

Affirmations are not enough.

What exactly is it that you’re wanting to accomplish or do in your life?

I can’t see any concrete desires in your email. 

No wonder you feel stuck!

Question all your beliefs and ditch all spiritual-sounding words.

That way you can communicate to yourself what it is that you actually want. 

Also, you wrote that you want to ‘love unconditionally’.

If that’s what you want, then why are you grabbing on to someone, wanting them to love you, when clearly they are not into you?

How is that unconditional?

Loving him unconditionally would mean that you want him to be happy, wouldn’t it?

And according to how he behaves towards you, he clearly feels that he’s happier without you.

If ‘your hearts desire’ is to have (manifest) all the affirmations you wrote, then start by working on yourself, give yourself those things, and act from the person you say you want to be.

A courageous, wise and powerful woman (as you affirmed yourself to be), would not run around all needy after some guy now would she?

So look at each affirmation and word very, very closely and ask yourself what you can actually do (not just say).

In this process you have to leave all other people out of it.

None of this has anything to do with the other person, or any other person for that matter.

It’s all about you and what you need to do for yourself, to yourself, and by yourself.

Removing new age beliefs would be a great place to start.

And since you say you want to awaken then this absolutely has to happen; there’s no way around this; all beliefs has to be seen through.

When all the different beliefs you hold about life and yourself are seen through, that’s when life can move (flow) freely, and that’s also something you wrote that you want.

You wrote:

Our life flows freely and joyfully as we live in trust and gratitude, learning, growing, supporting and creating together”.

So this is what I suggest you do:

First change the words into this:

My life flows freely and joyfully as I live in trust and gratitude, learning, growing, supporting and creating myself.“

See what I mean?

Remove the other person from the picture.

  • Learn to be happy (joyful) without him or any other person.
  • Learn to trust yourself.
  • Find the wisdom and insights that you can be grateful for in this experience so that you can learn and grow from it.
  • Support yourself, and create something real for yourself.

Not for other people who doesn’t even want to talk with you!

This is all about you and you respecting and loving and taking care of you, first.

You first, and then when you’re in alignment (flow) with You, then others can come in (and you won’t have to chase them as they will naturally be drawn to you, and you to them).

Then those new (friends and love) relationships will be mature and mutually respectful and loving because you both have learned to respect and love to yourselves first.

Hope this article was helpful to you.

Feel very welcome to share your comments or any additional questions and thoughts in the comments section below.

twin flame, soulmate

When you remove the label “soulmate”, “twin flame” etc from a person; what remains? What are they now?

☼☼☼

If you’re truly sincere about awakening and not just looking for the feel-good stuff, then here’s one of my older articles that can be helpful to you:

“Only The Brave Stay In The Awakening Process”

✽✽✽

Would you like me to write an article for you too?

Right now for a limited time “Ask Maria” is FREE to use for everyone!

Submit your questions and topic requests here:

>> ASK MARIA <<

(Offer ends in mid-October, 2017. More info on page).

Spiritual Teacher Maria Erving

Transformational Sessions:

(Via Skype or in person)

Private sessions provide deep insights into your specific life situation so that you can experience spiritual and personal breakthroughs and shifts in consciousness.

Introductory offer:

First time clients in Spain receives a 50% discount on single sessions!

NEW in Spain from November: 

»Transformational Healing Package.

(Distant Healing Package available as well: Learn more HERE).

»Transformational Group Meetings.

Share

Leave a comment:

 

My intent is to have people think independently, feel deeply and honestly, and move into a higher knowing of themselves.