Questions to gain new insight and awareness about yourself and the people closest to you
40 questions that will help you become aware of important things about yourself, your life, and your relationships.
Ask them deeply, not just with your head, but with your heart, and be totally honest with yourself.
Let the answers reveal to you what you need to know and become aware of.
Write them down in your journal or a piece of paper and ponder the questions as you ask them:
What one word would you describe yourself as?
What one word would you describe yourself as if it was something negative? (What would a “negative” description be, if anything, according to your own opinion and observation?)
What one word would your best friend describe you as?
What one word would your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner describe you as?
What one word would your family describe you as?
What one word would the closest person you work with describe you as? (People you’re most in contact with on a daily basis)
It could be your boss, or clients/customers for example. What’s the first word that comes to mind on each person/group of people?
What one thing would you wish they would see in, or about you? (Your best friend, romantic/love partner, family, work-related relationship/person etc.)
What one word would you use to describe your best friend as?
What one word would you describe your family as?
What one word would you describe your team or closest partner you have in your work/business?
What behavioral patterns or dynamics are you seeing that needs to change in these relationships? Write the things down in each category;
Best friend, friends group (or a certain person/friend that comes to mind), love/romantic relationship, family, work-related relationships etc.
What are the 3 top toxic/unhealthy patterns that you’re noticing? What comes up for you as you write down the answers on these questions?
What do you need to walk away from? Or what boundaries do you need to set in place, clarify, or redefine in order to change the unhealthy dynamics or behavioral patterns?
Maybe you feel judged or disrespected by some of the people in your life, or maybe you feel stifled and unable to fully express who you are, or maybe you feel that you’re shrinking or making yourself small when you’re with certain people.
If so, then this article will be helpful to you:
I heard Jane Fonda say something in an interview the other day that really resonated with me about what to look for in a relationship;
“You want to feel safe, seen, and cherished”.
I love that; yes to feeling safe; trust is incredibly important, you want to feel safe in a relationship that way.
You also want to be seen and cherished, just like you cherish them back, and make them feel safe and seen in the relationship too.
It’s about mutual respect and genuinely caring for each other.
Next, fill in the blank/finish these sentences:
Some of the questions are similar to the previous ones, but see what comes up as you ask them again, in a slightly different and more elaborate way.
Close friends describe me as..
My family describes me as..
Strangers describe me as..
I think I’m really good at..
I think I’m bad at..
My friends/people I know think I’m good at..
The last lie I told someone was about..
Have I made any recent decisions out of fear?
The answers to the last two questions can reveal some insecurity that you need to work on within yourself, and the questions about ‘negative’ things about yourself is only to shine light on where you could improve or develop something about yourself that could benefit you.
Many times we’re not aware of these things until we actually ask ourselves the questions.
And some things we are aware of too, of course, things we know we can improve on, or change.
Like for example if we have a tendency to interrupt others when they are speaking, or gossip about other people, or that we’re always down-playing ourselves, never speaking up, and so on.
The best advice I’ve ever received is..
I could talk about _______ for hours on end. (The answer can reveal what you’re truly passionate about if you’re for example unsure of what your purpose or next assignment in life is)
What needs to end, or be removed from my life? What’s dead/over? What are you done with? What cycle has to come to an end now?
Write down what comes up without editing yourself. Be honest with yourself.
What needs to stop, or what do I need to stop doing?
What needs to start, or what do I need to start doing?
What do I need to do less of?
What do I need to do more of?
What do I need to allow to happen? It can be about some kind of change that you’re afraid of instigating or making.
It could also be about letting yourself be helped by someone, or allowing someone to love you, or allowing yourself to receive something from another person.
Sometimes we have to open ourselves up more to what wants to happen and come into our life.
What do you need to be more open to?
What negative things am I saying to myself on a daily basis? (Your inner being will tell you if you just listen within. Many times it has to do with complaining about things)
What negative things am I saying about myself?
What negative things am I saying about other people?
What negative things am I saying about life?
What patterns are you becoming aware of as you answer these questions?
What are the 3 most prominent things that you’re becoming aware of?
What program/conditioning/patterns needs to break and/or be released?
Here’s a few funny but also very revealing questions that will help you cement the revelations and insights you needed from this exercise today.
They will help you get and see everything from an even wider and different point of view and perspective:
If you were a fly on the ceiling looking at your life and situation, what strikes you really funny or surprising?
If your pet could talk, from his position, what would he say about your life and situation? (Your relationship with a certain person in your life for example)
And what else would your pet say, that you might not have thought about before, or considered, or been aware of previously? (About anything, let the answers flow through you)
Two more questions to ponder:
Describe the rest of your life in 5 words: _____________
What would you like the movie about your life be called?
Here’s some other articles that came to mind that you might like as well:
And you know I love sharing questions with you, so here’s even more for you!:
Listen to me reading this article and asking the questions: