Why aloneness on the spiritual path is a blessing

Spiritual Awakening and Aloneness

I was inspired to write another article on aloneness on the spiritual path in response to someone who read one of my old articles “Spiritual Awakening and Aloneness”.

The reader commented and asked:

“Oh am I experiencing this right now big time. Can you explain what you mean that it’s a blessing getting to be alone. I do understand what you mean about things and people not distracting me. I miss having a boyfriend though. And I miss having a group of friends to do things with.”

Here’s my reply:

If you’re in the awakening process, then part of the path will involve solitude and aloneness, sometimes for years at a time.

Most people, if not all, go through periods of aloneness and the less you resist this, the smoother your life goes.

You will either be pulled there because you voluntarily seek it, or you will be put there and resist it, but being alone is part of the process of awakening.

And the ego will most probably have fits and temper tantrums about it because it doesn’t like it at all.

It will most probably go into poor-me mode at times, it will pity itself, curse the day it ventured on the spiritual path and sometimes even threaten to end its life.

The ego does not like being alone, or in solitude.

It craves distraction and entertainment, noise, doingness etc, and being alone can trigger all kinds of ego responses such as feeling sorry for yourself, being angry, feeling abandoned, and so on.

You will most probably go through many times where you feel like you’re the only one in this world that is alone, that everybody else gets to have fun and live happily ever after but not you.

No, you ‘God is punishing and holding back’, keeping you in suffering, and you feel hindered in your attempts to make your life work.

That’s what the ego feels, so there can be huge resistance to the aloneness the spiritual path sometimes requires. 

But once you have the awareness needed to see the blessing in it everything changes, and you learn to use the time in solitude constructively.

That’s when things shift for the better and as you grow and evolve you begin to make the very best of where you are.

The ego craves company while spirit wants to connect in solitude.

When you begin to come into a higher knowing of yourself, when you begin to connect deeply with Truth, the need for distractions naturally start to fall away and even the will to be social or engage in the outer life is just not going to be there anymore for a while.

Instead you begin to enjoy being with yourself, in nature, and in solitude.

This is one of the blessings because once you come to this place in your process, other things will open up and follow.

But as long as the resistance is there, or the wish to not go into aloneness, you will feel as if life is working against you.

Once the blessing is seen though, that’s when you can begin to use it to your advantage, and that is a blessing in itself.

Very few people have the courage, the stamina and the dedication to continue following the path when the call for aloneness sets in.

It’s a path of aloneness because it’s a path that can’t be followed.

It’s easy to follow a religion or a spiritual path that many pursue because there’s a sense of safety of the group and where you feel you ‘belong’ so you won’t be alone, but spiritual awakening is the awakening from all belief-systems and all the gods.

And when these things start to fall away and you get stripped down and naked, you realize that you no longer can relate to what others call “spirituality”, and you’ll find that there’s nothing to talk about with others because they all live according to beliefs that you can’t relate to anymore.

For example the belief that there’s a right and wrong way for you to live, that one way is better, or more “pure” or more “spiritual” or “divine”, than the path that you’re on.

You come to realize that spiritual awakening is not really spiritual, so all that falls away and for many on the spiritual path this eventually leads to the feeling of not belonging anywhere anymore.

For someone with no awareness of how the process unfolds, they simply fail to endure the time of loneliness that is almost mandatory.

The separation from one’s usual social life and connectedness with other people when you go through a spiritual awakening process and the transformation that needs to happen is just too unbearable for the ego to take.

Very few go all the way, but for those who do go through it all, they are the ones that eventually become free.

In your time of solitude you will realize and discover many things.

One of the things you’ll discover is that the spiritual path is not for the meek or faint-hearted.

You will have to be willing to give up all illusion and attachments so sometimes there’s times of severe, hellish turmoil and turbulence.

And it’s not even about that; it’s not about your willingness in that sense, it’s more about an acceptance that this is the way it goes.

Your willingness is really of no concern when it comes to Truth, it will take you on the path whether you like it or not.

The acceptance is for you, not for Truth, it doesn’t need it.

If you go ‘willingly’ the path becomes easier of course, but it’s more about surrendering and letting go completely into the process where even the one who is ‘willing’ is let go of.

In the process you will learn a lot about who your are not, which is the greatest teaching there is, and you will learn about trust, about love in its truest form, and about commitment.

The commitment you have to the path (that is only shown to you one step at a time) gives you freedom because you’re no longer distracted by the things that are not relevant to your current growth process.

Such as boyfriends, girlfriends, and other friends.

Sometimes a person comes into your life, it can be a brief encounter and you learn or receive something from them, but you can forget about permanence in this phase of your process.

There will be an in and out flow of people during this time, a friend or some kind of company appears here and there (many times in the form of pets and animals), and teachings and teachers emerge only to leave again quite quickly (and sometimes come back again).

You might be drawn to a mentor, or a specific book, situation and so on, all which is there to help you progress, but you will come to see that none of them will stay or become permanent in your life.

For the time being you’re on your own and that’s the way it goes.

Being committed and dedicated to Truth is what will drive you forward.

Not to what the ego wants, but what Truth wants from you, and what wants to come through you.

The dedication you have to this path is what gives you freedom because it hones your attention and focus inwards, directing it toward what is most essential in you, which is Truth itself.

So in your aloneness, stay in the moment, appreciate what you have, offer no resistance, and accept responsibility to do your part; do whatever is shown to you and walk into the unknown, from one moment to the next.

Flow with life and do the inner work.

This is what the time of aloneness calls for:

Go for long walks, read, listen to lectures and other audios, do whatever inner work you’re guided to do.

In other words; use your time wisely.

Get to know yourself deeply.

Be quiet, listen. 

Feel deeply and honesty. 

Put your attention inwards, to the things that matter the most.

Let grace transform you. 

Welcome feelings, thoughts, experiences, revelations, insights, inspiration, crying, venting, feeling alone and miserable.

Allow Truth to unravel and strip you to the bare bones until you become completely naked and yes, alone.

Before this happens though, you will try probably everything.

You will do everything until there’s nothing more to do.

When every technique, teaching, and tool has been used and executed and you’re completely empty and exhausted, that’s when true spiritual transformation and shifts can happen.

It can be a long road before someone gets there, and some won’t even get that far because the journey is full of challenges, setbacks, and blockages where nothing you do or try is working (not for long anyway).

The spiritual awakening process is a relentless undoing of the ego and this includes periods where you feel alone and disconnected from the rest of the world.

If you find yourself secluded and isolated in life, make the best of it and realize that it is a blessing in disguise. 

It’s a blessing because even though there might be nothing that you want more than deep intimate connections with others, the most important connection you must make now is the one you have with yourself, with Life.

It’s a transitional phase, although it can last for many years (not that it has to), but it’s an important one because you’re transitioning from the false self to the Truth of your nature.

The truth is, that if you met someone now, they would fall in love with your ego and you in theirs.

It’s even difficult to have friends in this transitional phase because of the fundamental transformation you’re going through (the person who is in a spiritual awakening process that is as I don’t know you personally).

This stage of your awakening process is an important one and a time where you really get to know who you are/who you are not and find out what is true and real versus false.

Sometimes it’s necessary to be alone and stay away from people and activities (such as “having fun with friends” etc) until you connect to the inner part of yourself, which is where the Truth of your being flows from.

It’s in the aloneness that you’re called to face your demons, your fears, your pain and suffering, and also to realize that none of those things are about who you really are.

You are not the one with the inner demons, fear and pain and suffering but that’s a discovery you have to make for yourself when you’re alone with yourself. 

The time will come when it’s time to participate in the world again.

Until that time comes, your only focus should be on You and what Life asks you to do and being attentive to the instructions you receive.

One day everything will make so much more sense, that’s all I can say and promise you. 

I promise you that your time of isolation, being secluded and alone, is a blessing.

As you grow spiritually you will come to see that aloneness was one of the most rewarding experiences of your life and you will then be able to look back with gratitude and even awe. 

Or, you can of course bemoan your isolation and feeling of loneliness, and remain unsatisfied, stuck and stagnated and feel even more estranged when you seek the company of other people because it’s not you who seeks it, but your ego.

The way you feel this is that interacting with others feels more and more ‘unnatural’, as if you have to force yourself to engage in social events and be with others.

This is when you eventually surrender to the path and seek out solitude yourself.

Now the real work can begin.

Finally Life got you where it wanted you; in your aloneness.

So either you surrender to it right away or you go through a period of resistance and eventually come to see that you’re going there anyway so you do it “willingly”.

Soon enough you will be ready to integrate the “new” you back into the world and society, but until that happens:

Work on yourself (do self-inquiry), get to know yourself, and focus on the things that Life puts before you.

The existential emptiness cannot be solved or filled by anything ‘out there’.

The desire of wanting a partner can creep up and presents itself as the solution to your aloneness and emptiness and the ego might cry out in sorrow because of ‘lost life’.

Of agony of not getting this or that, and where it’s full of frustration and resentment.

And this is all about the ego trying to fix itself back to the former life where it at least had something, even if it was unsatisfying.

You simply can’t go back because it’s too painful, even more so when you’ve outgrown pretty much everything, even the things you once were intensely passionate about.

So when you let go of the life you thought you wanted and instead want the life that is meant for you, the path will become more enjoyable for you.

The deeper you go within and surrender, the more your feeling of loneliness decreases.

But without this awareness, many people become depressed and find life meaningless and empty because they feel so alone and they don’t know how to handle it.

Many try to avoid the aloneness by overeating, smoking weed, watching a lot of TV, being on Facebook hours and hours every day, going to bars, having meaningless sex with people they don’t even like, and so on.

All in an attempt to try to fill the void of loneliness and emptiness.

They may feel intuitively that they’re going through something and that a change is taking place but they don’t have the awareness of exactly what is taking place so the ego avoids it because it’s the unknown.

In your aloneness you’re being undone so that Truth can come forth through you.

You don’t have to feel alone in this phase of the journey.

First of all; Truth has your back, always, and in all ways. Always remember this. 

When you really feel this in your heart, all the frustration and sorrow you once felt will transform into a sense of protection and trust, and all the miracles you experience, and all the epiphanies, insights and mystical experiences you have along the way, will help you to understand your journey more and more.

As the separations to others increase, so does the connectedness to yourself, or Truth.

The phase of aloneness is really an opportunity to come to silence, stillness, and the spaciousness of Life itself.

Nothing more will be needed.

Gurus and teachers will eventually fade and drop away.

All the books that has been read, techniques implemented and tools used, it will all be gone. 

Nothing left to do, nowhere to go, and you’re all alone.

The degree of the ‘loneliness’ that you feel depends on how much you resist the process and how sincere your surrendering is.

The more you allow yourself to go into aloneness, the less threatened you will feel about it.

It’s a matter of stepping into the unknown yet again, as you’ve probably (hopefully!) done so many times before on this path.

It’s always about letting go of control and of attachment to how you want things to be and unfold.

Be willing to explore the aloneness, give it room to move within you, breathe into it, and just simply be with it and see what happens when you do.

And though you may be alone, you will never be lonely, for as I said; Truth will have your back, always and in all ways.

Let yourself be emptied out so that Life/Truth can fill you up.

And get to know the ego (most importantly!), how it operated and works in your life because even if it may be a sincere surrender on your part, your old self (the ego) isn’t entirely gone in one go;

There is yet more of it to surrender because its a master in adapting to and hijacking consciousness.

Trust that you will be ready for the world again at some point and that new relationships and friends will come into your life.

They will be different from the ones you think you want at this time though.

Just as the outer universe is expanding, so is the inner, and eventually it will reach climax and begin to collapse unto itself like a reverse big bang.

And then, when you again come into this world, you will have been born again but it’s not like you’ve built up a new life (“you” will not build up anything, but the ego will make many attempts and succeed many times too).

The old life is being destructed and in the new construction that arises, the hammer must fall on the ego first.

The ego cannot see itself, it’s unaware of itself and to see this is an essential part of the journey, you simply can’t progress without going through this process first.

Begin by looking at who it is that is yearning for company, see clearly the one who yearns for the company of lovers and friends and you’ve just opened the door to the next phase of your life.

Focus on yourself, that’s what this phase is for.

I shared a lot during the 5 years or so when I was isolated in Norway here on my website so you can go back in the archives (see sidebar) to find the articles and read them. 

And even though it was hellish at times, I also experienced the most beautiful periods of bliss, love, joy, peace and so much more while there, in my aloneness.

It was a huge blessing for me, although I didn’t recognize it immediately and in the beginning there were times when I felt resentment, resistance and sadness about it. 

Eventually it all leads to letting go of pretty much everything.

The spiritual awakening process is not a straight line, there are many cycles, many phases along the way, and the key is to be fully present in the now, wherever and however you find yourself, so make the most of your aloneness and keep moving forward. 

One thing is sure; your life will not look remotely the same as it did when you first ventured out on the spiritual path with all the childish desires and wishes of the ego (as we’ve all had).

Not only will the inner you unravel, but you might also find yourself physically on a different path that you could never had imagined for yourself.

You might end up traveling the world even though you think it’s financially impossible for you to do so, because Life, or the universe, has other plans for you and will take you exactly where you need to be and go. 

Ambitions will change, friends will fall away, even what you love might fall away

You might move to a different city or country,

.. realize a talent/gift/ability you didn’t know you had before, 

or change job/career.. etc.

So many things can and will happen, you have no idea! 

Being alone teaches you to not only come to know and love yourself, but to love Life itself, and even if you now feel that it’s the toughest thing to be alone, you will also come to know that it’s the most rewarding thing too.

So during this time, invest in yourself, heal (although healing comes before the awakening process), let go, and grow, and you will soon find that the path that once felt dark and rocky has turned into a path of light where your communication with Life becomes increasingly more clear and then you can never feel lonely again, ever.

Hope you enjoyed this article and found it helpful. 


It can be enormously helpful to have a mentor that can help guide you through the ups and downs of the spiritual path:

Book a private session with me.

Andalusian mountains
You’re never alone when you’re in nature.


More articles about aloneness:

“So I’m in Hawaii and the loneliness I have is really painful.

I haven’t really been by myself… Ever.

Is this normal? Feeling lonely? I find myself getting emotional to the point of weeping, while at work.

I know this will pass, but it still hurts. Any suggestions???”

My reply: “About Loneliness On The Spiritual Path

“I don’t know if I am awakening or not but I am so lost.

I feel so apathetic about life, it scares me I have become so uncaring. I just want to be by myself, I can’t love my family or dogs like I use to.

I am not depressed, I have been there too. I just feel empty inside.

I want to quit my job and just hide.

I can’t talk to anyone. I meditate, I pray, yet no changes.

I feel alone and just want it all to be over.

I am always seeking, reading, researching hoping to find someone to help me.

I have surrendered but still I am lost. What do I do? Thanks.”

My reply: “I Feel So Apathetic About Life” (Ask Maria)

“Dear Maria,

I’m in a process of transformation and I have a question I’d like to ask you.

At times I feel so alone on this journey because there are very few people who understand me or where I’m coming from.

This causes me to feel extreme loneliness and depression at times.

I’m not sure how to handle these feelings. I don’t live in a place where I can simply go out and meet like minded people.

To be honest I feel like an outcast and what’s worse is I feel it is my own doing.

Can you relate to any of this?

Any advice would be so appreciated.”

My reply: “Feeling Lonely On The Spiritual Journey” 

“In the process of spiritual awakening there comes a time when the interest in other people vanishes and interacting with others comes to a stop, and we spend more and more time in solitude and aloneness (not loneliness).

For the mind this can be very disturbing so to trust the process and not worry when the mind projects and imagines it all going to a ‘bad place’ is vital.

The ego is crumbling and with it goes all interactions and companions that are not in alignment with Spirit and sometimes that can even be people that we thought were close to us.

We lose interest in chit-chatting, noisy environments where..”

Continue reading here: “A New Way of Interacting is Being Born

“The post on solitude and aloneness describes myself and I feel more aware and conscious of my current situation.

I’m more aware of things and see life from another perspective or perceive things different than most people.

I feel disconnected from people because I chose a path of spirituality and I live life so different than most people, I don’t watch TV or listen to radio, I eat very healthy, I meditate every day, run 20 miles a week.

My question is: Am I out of touch or is it the other ones that are out of touch?

People like to hear things I said and many talk about it, but not many walk the talk.

What are your thoughts?”

My reply: “Feeling Disconnected From Others Because You Chose a Spiritual Path

“A commitment to Truth can for some people mean they have to spend some time alone, or even feel isolated from the world for a while and sometimes all friends and even family may be moving away from them, or fall away.

That has been my own experience many times throughout my life, in different phases of my life.

Some of them were obvious choices, like when I stopped doing drugs, obviously I had to let go of my old friends, so there were times when I was all alone and I had to learn how to move and be in the “real world” again all by myself.

I have always been blessed with..”

Continue reading here: “You Have To Be Willing To Be Alone (Dedicated to Truth)

And lastly:

“Thank you so much for your site, I have resonated with so many articles you have written.

I believe I am on the brink of a spiritual awakening.

I can’t really put into words exactly why I believe this, other than my quest in recent months to unveil the Truth which has been interspersed with moments of clarity and peace as the ego makes way for reality.

Unfortunately, however, these moments seem much less frequent than the intense suffering I have been experiencing, including anxiety, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts which come with alarming bodily sensations and fitful sleep at night coupled with exhaustion during the day.

I rarely sleep through the night and worry a lot during the day about getting sufficient rest to be able to function in my job and relationships.

I very much want to get to the other side of this process, for stillness and silence to be my resting state rather than the constant chatter of the ego, and to be completely free of the anxiety that seems to have a grip on me.

I feel so exhausted today that I have kind of resigned myself to whatever happens.

If I should die, so be it, I have no desire to continue living in this state of mind.

I want rest, peace, happiness and the joy I am told is my birthright but they seem so elusive.

When will this suffering end?”

Here is my reply: “When will the agonizing process of spiritual awakening end?

Transformational Coaching and Mentoring with Maria Erving

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  1. Jenny

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you for your article, it was really helpful. However, I can’t help but feeling anxious that I will lose my boyfriend during this process. He is such a massive support to me and I love him so much, the idea of losing him strikes fear into me. I know this is attachment, but he has been there for me since long before this process began, and has supported me through major life events.

    I know this is the ego talking and clutching on, but must we lose the one we love? Is being single and losing a much-loved partner an inevitability on this path? I don’t mind losing friends, even losing my job but there are some things I can’t imagine giving up.

    Thank you,

  2. Of course not Jenny! Let me explain.

    You can be alone on your path even if you’re surrounded by a lot of people.

    The blessing for me was that I didn’t have to, I had the privilege of being able to be alone (literally), and to me that was a huge blessing.

    There are people who go through these things while they’re out in the world so to speak, and I can’t even imagine the dread if I had been forced to do that.

    I would have tried to flee into a cave of some kind, or run to a mountain top to sit there and be alone! LOL

    (And now that I think about it, I remember there was a time (way back) when I actually even considered becoming a nun or something just so that I didn’t ever have to go back “to the world” again after I’ve seen what Life really is).

    But joke aside, it’s not easy to be among other people while in the process, that’s why aloneness as in “being alone” is a blessing when you go through a spiritual awakening process.

    Not everyone has the opportunity to do so, some go through the process (or at least begin it) while they have jobs too, or are in relationships with their partner and so on, so please don’t worry about it.

    Your boyfriend might be a “forever friend” type of individual (whether you’re on a spiritual path or not), a person who you know you will have in your life all your life.

    I have one too, but that doesn’t mean they can relate to what you’re going through (mine couldn’t, and we had minimal contact during those years, although for other reasons), but they are there anyway, on and off throughout our lives.

    Sometimes people fade out of our lives for a while, sometimes years at a time (but again, not always!) and sometimes they’re there throughout our whole lives (look at Gayle and Oprah for example).

    Sometimes the relationships change and become a different kind of relationship and so on, so nothing is set in stone here, there are no “rules”.

    What I’m pointing at also is that it can be the experience of aloneness in the sense that no one can relate to what you’re going through, so you have no one to talk about it with.

    That kind of aloneness.

    But that doesn’t exclude other people from your life during the process because Life has a magical way of putting people on your path that you need or who’s company you can enjoy, even if they don’t know what you’re going through.

    I had one friend when I lived in Norway and when I went through the time of aloneness, but she had no clue about what I went through, we didn’t talk about those things because she would never had been able to understand.

    And I wasn’t bothered by that, I simply enjoyed her friendship and we did other things together the times we hang out.

    (Which wasn’t that often as I was inclined to withdraw and do inner work at that time and it was pretty much a 24/7 thing for me, but she was there, that’s my point; Life put her on my path, and I appreciated it so much and was immensely grateful to have her in my life.)

    I was blessed to be able to be all alone in my process, having all my energy and attention 24/7 focused on my process, and that’s what I consider a huge blessing.

    It would have been more challenging if I had had a job for example, if I had for some reason been forced to be around other people at that time.

    And I consciously chose not to get involved in any love relationship, that was completely out of my radar, had no interest in it wheresoever.

    I wanted full focus on my process (and building up my own business/this website), so a boyfriend at that time would only had been in the way for me.

    So while aloneness on the spiritual path is in a sense required and mandatory, it does not mean that you literally are alone in it.

    There can still be people in your life, pets might be there, you might stay in your job (for a while at least) and so on, so don’t worry about any of that.

    There’s nothing that says that you will loose your boyfriend, of course not, so please don’t even think about that.

    The period of aloneness can be experiences/gone through with people around you, but for most there’s a period of actual aloneness (solitude of some kind, withdrawal from the world), but this doesn’t mean that every single person goes through it in the exact same way.

    And whatever happens along the path, it’s not like you “give it up” as you wrote, it doesn’t happen that way so you don’t have to think in those lines at all.

    Just enjoy having your boyfriend in your life and let the future go.

    Really. There’s nothing to worry about.

    Enjoy, and consider yourself blessed! 🙂

    Hope this was helpful to you.

  3. Jenny

    Thank you so much for clarifying Maria, this has made me feel a lot better. I am finding that being around people is extremely difficult. I was at a party tonight but left soon after I arrived as it was so busy, people drinking, noise…I craved the silence of my own space. To get away was a relief. Although my boyfriend doesn’t know what I’m going through, he has been there for me unconditionally, more than anyone ever has (other than my mother) and makes me feel less ‘lonely’. The idea of not having that support is not a pleasant one.

    On a side note, I am so very intrigued by your path and very excited about your book. I’d love to know also about the logistics of your journey, i.e. how you supported yourself without having a job. My reason for this is partially selfish, as I may be losing my job soon. I have chosen to accept this inevitability (if indeed it is an inevitability) as I have clutched on to my job for too long and it has caused me immense frustration. However, although I don’t need much money to survive (I’m totally uninterested in material possessions now), I am worried about how I’ll feed myself and pay my bills if I do lose my job, whilst also being quite excited about the prospect of dedicating more of my time and energy to this path. Could you guide me towards any of your articles that discuss your experience in more detail?

    Much love, and thank you again,


  4. Well, it’s really not about that kind of aloneness, or loneliness, it’s not like that.

    The majority or human beings feel alone even when they are among other people, and most people will never wake up, so it has really nothing to do with it in that sense.

    But there’s no use of speculating about if you will lose your boyfriend (or job, or whatever it is) or not because the reality is that you might or you might not.

    We don’t even know if we will be here tomorrow so just enjoy this moment and this day because that’s all you got (and it should not be wasted on worry).

    Do the inner work, and when you do things will fall away, even people, but it’s not like you have to think about any of that, simply move forward relentlessly (if you want to wake up that is).

    You will even loose your God in the process, whatever “God” means to you.

    There is only you on this journey, that’s what you’ll discover, so its not about being alone as in lonely but as in “there’s no one here but me, and everything comes from me” (from consciousness).

    If support is what you get from your boyfriend and you’re attached to that support, it will probably be challenged along the way, because in the end, the support will have to come from within yourself and not from other people.

    That’s why gurus, teachers, books, teachings etc etc, all falls away and you won’t be able to hold on to anything because everything you think is true is not true.

    Any kind of “stability” or “security” will be severely challenged, because those things are all about the ego.

    But again, don’t worry about it.

    You don’t have a choice in the matter – the only thing you can do is to resist the process.

    Do what you feel inclined to do today, or directed to do, and let all the rest be in the hands of Truth/Life/the universe.

    About my book;

    I’m not writing at the moment and don’t even know if I will continue soon or not.

    I sometimes share things with clients if I feel it will benefit them but I don’t really feel drawn to writing on the book at this point.

    But let me see what I can find for you in my archives later, and maybe I even write an article or two about it (I’m always up for that!:) ), and if I do, I’ll post the link(s) here for you in the comments section.

    There’s a lot of things I can share from that time that I never wrote about here on my website.

    I have a lot of content and stories to share so I’m sure I will use it to inspire and encourage others at some point in some way or another (right now it’s mainly with clients and if someone asks me something via Ask Maria or when I’m interviewed etc).

    My focus was more on serving others through my writing (and not complaining about my situation) but there were also many things I couldn’t share at that time in my life, but which I can share now.

    So I probably will.

    Stay tuned 🙂

  5. I’ve just published an article for you Jenny.

    You asked:

    “I am so very intrigued by your path and very excited about your book.

    I’d love to know also about the logistics of your journey, i.e. how you supported yourself without having a job.

    My reason for this is partially selfish, as I may be losing my job soon.

    I have chosen to accept this inevitability (if indeed it is an inevitability) as I have clutched on to my job for too long and it has caused me immense frustration.

    However, although I don’t need much money to survive (I’m totally uninterested in material possessions now), I am worried about how I’ll feed myself and pay my bills if I do lose my job, whilst also being quite excited about the prospect of dedicating more of my time and energy to this path.

    Could you guide me towards any of your articles that discuss your experience in more detail?”

    Here’s my reply:


    Hope you enjoy the read 🙂

  6. Nathania

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you for this article. Ive been on this journey for a few years, initially like you mentioned I considered monastic living, becoming a nun, so I didn’t have to go back into the world. I became so comfortable in my solitude, in prayer.
    That never happened, but being unable to mesh my spiritual life in the material world has been devastating. It’s been impossible to hold jobs, because I cant handle being with people much anymore. I used to be able to handle so much professional stress, highly demanding work, now, I can barely work a full day without feeling exhausted. On top of that, I suppose out of fear, I opted to move in with my mom. I’m a grown up and this is hard, she is going through her own depression is lonely and just doesn’t get that I want to be alone. She doesn’t get boundaries, she comes in my room as she pleases, despite me asking her not to, she feels the need to share every thought with me, I have no personal space. We are both home most of the time, and I feel like I’m going to explode. Were there times you had no space, when you longed for solitude and felt like you had to hide from everyone, times you felt you could not work and wondered how you would support yourself.? Times when you didn’t have the energy for ‘life’s?

  7. Thanks for commenting Nathania (what a beautiful name you have!), and for sending this to Ask Maria also.

    Stay tuned for an article from me shortly when I have more time to write it 🙂

  8. Lizzy

    Thank you for this article, Maria.

    I just gave notice to a job I’ve been working for 24 years (that I never liked, but did to pay the bills) that I’d be leaving in February.

    Really, until I started reading your articles, did it ever occur to me that I could choose to do something I really care about. It was never a thought or option. It was always about paying the bills.

    I’m lucky that I’ve built a small pension (very small), but I made my mind up that however small my pension was, I could not take another year, 6 months at what I’m currently doing.

    I love animals, always have…I don’t know what my new “job” will look like, but this time around it will be something I love, something that comes natural, and something I can put my heart into and that feels meaningful.

    Reading your articles was “hands – down” the motivation and permission I needed to think about my life differently and my “job”.

    I’m really happy and excited for the first time in a long time to see where this new phase in my life will take me.

    Thank you!

    With gratitude,


  9. I’m so glad to hear that Lizzy!

    Congratulations to your new phase in life! 🙂

    And you’re so very welcome, I’m glad to hear my articles has been helpful to you and I’m honored to be part of your journey at this time in your life.

    Please keep us updated on how things unfold, it can be such an inspiring story to hear for others.

    I don’t know where you live but you can always begin volunteering at an animal shelter or something like that.

    They always need help and that way you come in contact with others who are passionate about animals and pets too and then something new can unfold from there.

    New experiences, new contacts, new interaction with others (and animals/pets), and so on.

    One thing always leads to another and the direction of the flow is something we can choose.

    Now that you have made this big decision in your life, go with the momentum of things and do something new already today 🙂

    It can be something very small, such as sending an email to someone.

    Go with the momentum of this flow now, and new, wonderful things will start to come your way that you can begin enjoying already now.

    I’m very happy for you Lizzy, and I wish you all the best on your new path – May it bless you beyond words!

  10. Lizzy

    Thank you for your always encouraging words and blessing! I will keep you updated.

    I’m not sure I would be taking these steps if it wasn’t for you. So again….thank you!


  11. Lizzy

    Just one more thing comes to mind regarding what you wrote about taking a small step ex: it could be e-mailing someone.

    One of my very favorite books, What the Animals Taught Me, is a book about a woman who took a job in Sonoma County in California caring for a couple animals which resulted in the author starting an animal sanctuary.

    I heard about the terrible wildfires in that part of California, and I actually e-mailed her (she has a website) expressing my concern.

    She e-mailed back saying she and the animals were no longer in Sonoma County, and she and the animals were safe.

    Just taking that step to connect in a small way really did feel great!

  12. That is so awesome Lizzy!

    It’s so easy isn’t it to just reach out to someone, whether it’s for yourself (such as asking for help/guidance/advice) or if it’s to offer an ear or simply care for another person like you did when you asked how they were doing.

    This small act of simply emailing someone not just felt great for you, but for her as well, and not to mention the delight Life feels when you follow its flow.

    The flow of Truth, that you decided to follow, is what makes your heart and soul sing of joy.

    You showed up and you showed interest in your new path and you did something that may seem insignificant and small, but it helped open a door, and your heart too.

    What exactly that door is you will soon come to know.

    All things that we do and engage in always leads to other similar things, and the flow of that direction is in our hands.

    It’s when we do these “small” things that the “big” things start to unfold and happen.

    So many times people get overwhelmed thinking that they have to take a huge step or leap of faith in order to move forward, but many times it’s these small steps that open up the path more and more.

    So keep doing it Lizzy and Life will astound you with its intelligence and kindness!

    I’m truly happy for you and I look forward to hear how things unfold for you so please keep us updated on your journey 🙂

  13. Lizzy

    Thank you so much for your encouraging and kind words. I will be very happy to let you know how things unfold. “To be continued….”

    I really appreciate you!


  14. I look forward to hear from you Lisa! 🙂

    All in your own time, whenever the time feels right.

    And thank you for your kind words too <3

  15. siahn

    Thankyou so much Maria, i began my spiritual awakening and healing when i was 18 so it was very hard for me im now 23 and i think im just coming out of the spiritual solitude stage. It has been the hardest 4 years the last 2 i have been literally ALONE ..my mother told me i had a different dad when i was 18 so it started from there.. feeling half empty half a person living alone became un bearable i have to have my sister stay over… losing friends i havent seen some of them in a year or more. None of my friends have been through spiritual awakening so i cant connect with them like i once could even my best friends.. i feel so weird!!! but reading this article just gave me confirmation that i know im on the right path, im finding it hard to quit my job and let ego go in that area.. i dont know how the bills will be paid if i quit my job but i can feel life pushing me towards my creativity my painting. so i think i will keep creating and let life happen thanks for your article it was awesome to read 🙂

  16. Glad to hear it resonated with you.

    Just to clarify though, “letting life happen” does not exclude personal responsibility, which comes from a place of awareness.

    So make sure it’s not the false self wanting to quit your job thinking you’ll be alright anyway, that you will ‘just go with the flow’.

    That’s not the flow I’m talking about at all; it’s not the hippie mentality flow I’m talking about.

    Going with the flow in an unaware way is not based in Truth, but ego actually.

    I would suggest you keep the job for now – I assume you think it’s an okay job since you wrote you find it hard to let it go – while you concentrate on building up a creative work/career/vocation for yourself.

    You need money for paint and other art supplies, food etc, and it’s nice to be able to have a home to live in, wouldn’t you agree?

    Maybe right now at this point in your life you need the job and it might actually be a blessing to you that you have it.

    Just feel into that.

    If it pays your bills and you’re okay with it, then keep it for now while using all your free time to build up whatever your creative dream and desire is.

    You said it yourself; “I’m finding it hard to quit my job”.

    Then why would you quit if you don’t really want to do that?

    If you did that then that would actually be out of flow, out of alignment, with your true life.

    Meaning, that if you quit your job but you really don’t want to, then you’re going against your flow, not with it.

    Do what will give you most peace at this time in your life and from there you let Life show you the way.

    If you go against what you really want you will only create disturbances and hindrances for yourself.

    Listen to your own inner voice and let it guide you; come from a place of awareness within yourself.

    Your path is unique, your flow is unique, and staying in alignment with your own inner truth and the Truth of the moment and following that is what will bring you happiness and freedom in your life.

    For some it’s in their flow to quit their job, but I don’t feel it’s in your flow, not at this time in your life.

    I can sense it from the way you wrote it that you don’t really want to let it go so trust that and let Life show you how to move forward from here.

  17. Vivek

    Hi Maria
    When the new life takes place – would that mean that i would give up all the worldly things ?
    I am specifically asking in regards to “desire to earn money”
    will i not want to earn money anymore and give up the desire for such ?

  18. Of course not. You don’t have to “give up” anything but the ego.

    Living in the flow of life is about all that is good and healthy in life, so of course that includes money and income too.

    You can become as rich as you want to, but your main goal is not about making money, it’s about enjoying what you do (finding fulfillment/purpose in what you do) and being at service to the world/that which is greater than yourself.

    It’s about following that which is true within yourself; that you’re true to yourself and what you feel passionate about or called to do.

    Money then becomes a bi-product of those things, and so yes, you may earn a lot of money and become very rich too.

    Look at for example people like Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Cesar Millan, and many others.

    They are very successful and wealthy people and they are also very service-oriented and generous.

    Read their biographies and you’ll see that their main goal wasn’t about making money at all when they first started out.

    They followed their dreams, passions and inner guidance and continue to do so to this day and that’s where their true joy and fulfillment is.

    So you won’t be deprived of anything good in life, don’t worry about that 😊

    Those kinds of fears belong to the ego and it’s a common misconception that many (spiritual) people have; that you somehow would ‘lose out’ living a life that is Truth-based.

    Or that it’s ‘wrong to make money’ if you follow your souls calling.

    That’s pure nonsense.

    It’s from where you live your life that counts, and you can never find true fulfillment in life if you’re just living for the sake of making money.

    You just have to find your own true path and follow that without being concerned about how much or little money you think it will bring you.

    One of the most important things you can do at this point in your life is to tune inwards and get a really good connection with your inner truth and then let that lead you forwards from here.

    Learn to trust your intuition and develop self-awareness, those are two very important things for you to grow so that you’re always anchored in the Truth within you.

    If you want to live in the flow of life that is.

  19. Vivek

    thank you maria this was very helpful =)
    was having a rough day
    feeling so much better now

  20. Saumya

    Hello Maria!
    Your post helped me to define the phenomenon that I have been experiencing. Thanks a lot.

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