Burning up ego and becoming more aware and intuitive – Part 1/2

When ego burns up our intuition grows stronger and we experience expanded awareness.

Some people also discover psychic abilities.

Hi Maria,

It is the third attempt to explain when my iPad bleeped and everything was erased.

A lot of these kinds of things have been taking place much more frequently than before.

Unspoken communication, synchronicities, experiences that my rational mind cannot wrap its self around but are as real as my breathing air.

My awareness of this unknownity while simultaneously experiencing a resistance to its unfolding in me, feels like I’m being burned alive and no one sees or knows it but me and yet I have absolutely no desire to resist anything.

It’s like I became very aware of what feels like a” movie screen” in my mind that plays word- images as if I’m watching a movie about “me”, in every worst case scenario known to man.

I’m not afraid underneath all the noise and images and that in itself is kind of baffling in an uncomfortable way.

Fear is beginning to feel like a movement vs words and images being the truth.

I hope I’m making sense because I know how all this sounds to me.

I keep experiencing these feelings that feel like “guilt”.

I’m aware of this feeling with its words and images tearing thru my mind like an inferno while underneath the chaos, I feel peace and happiness.

What the hell is going on?

I am aware of two opposing streams of thought and a feeling of stillness underneath all of that.

It sounds so “woo woo” when I try to explain, but it’s really not at all.

I’m having experiences that defy logic, and my mind lately had felt like it’s been short circuiting.

Maria, I “feel, sense” some people, animals, trees, etc.

Like having unspoken communication. No words exchanged.

Example: day before yesterday a “casual” friend kept coming to my mind (fervently).

He recently went into hospice and because we were casual friends, I didn’t want to visit/intrude as this is a fragile time for his family and close friends.

I sent a card last week just to see if I could relieve the strange sensation/pull that I kept experiencing.

It made no sense to me. Sending the card didn’t change anything.

I could still feel this unusual pull towards him (very, very unusual).

Anyway, two days ago his best friend came by work and talked with me for a few minutes.

He told me, it was extremely hard to see if best buddy deteriorating so fast and he would really appreciate it if I would I go with him to visit his friend one last time?

I agreed, while simultaneously becoming more aware of this same peculiar pull that was getting stronger, and then BAM!

Here comes this grinding opposing feeling, with words, images, like on a movie screen trying to frighten me/trying to keep me away from visiting this sweet-hearted man.

Anyway, I jumped in my friends car, and when I looked over at him I could “feel” the relief he felt in having me with him, I felt it, which kind of puzzled me.

When we arrived, the house was full of family and close friends and then I saw this frail man laying in the middle of this ocean of people.

The grinding and opposing feeling that I had been experiencing came to an abrupt stop.

I walked over, put my hand on this mans chest and whispered in his ear, (that the next time he wakes up, he will be on a brand new adventure and to not be afraid.)

Why and what I was doing there felt so awkward to me.

But, I felt him Maria, I really did. It was like I was in a dream. He passed shortly after that.

My point is during this entire process, I became aware of an opposing fearful voice, grinding feeling if you will, and a relentless loving feeling and both were vying for my attention.

(My awareness) of these two opposing possibilities shook me up just a little.

This is the third person, in 4 weeks that I had this kind of similar experience with.

All three went into hospice quickly.

My “awareness” underneath the happenings on the surface is what has struck a loud, nervous chord with me.

Never felt or been able to be a “watcher” like what I’ve been experiencing lately.

It’s new and kind of unsettling because its unfamiliar.

The unknown, unfamiliar, experiences that defy logic haven’t been as easy for me to process.

Is this normal?

Is it normal to experience such extreme burning inside of my body, when experiencing love and fear simultaneously?

Frightens the living hell out of me!

The more I give of my true heart, the more I feel my-self opening up inside, not of my doing.

Then this extreme “burning sensation” rises.

I mean seriously rises. I can “feel” myself literally “waking up” then “awake” inside of my own body, having more and more moments when I feel like my body is a suit of clothes.

“Waking up inside of my body” may sound strange but that’s exactly what it feels like.

As if I’ve been daydreaming or sleepwalking thru my life.

I feel so overjoyed and grateful while experiencing a strange almost childlike feeling of the word “fear”.

My 5 senses are changing. I am (feeling/experiencing) these changes and I’m not making anything happen, it’s just happening.

The burning sensation comes on especially strong during these shifts.

Like when I felt the pull towards my (casual) friend who recently passed and I ended up at his bedside prior to his passing.

My logical, rational mind just cannot make sense of it, and tries to frighten me with its logic.

There’s no way I could ever go back to the old way of being alive in the world.

It’s not going to happen.

Therefore, I can only assume, I’ve landed in unknown territory, because I don’t know really anything that I thought I knew.

Everything has changed again.

Any words of wisdom on how to stay calm during these waking up, burning and changing times that are happening in me, but without me (the personality) would be so appreciated.

My reply:

The first thing that immediately struck me reading your email was what has already been mentioned in conversations we’ve had before:

Do you remember a year or two ago when we Skyped and I shared with you that my intuition told me that you might have psychic abilities?

Back then I remember you pushed it away so I didn’t say anything more about it since you were not open to explore it further at that time.

Then again earlier this year when we again talked on Skype the message came to me once again that you might have psychic abilities and that you might want to develop them.

But again you said to me that you don’t want to have any of that, that you’re not interested in going there so I respected that and didn’t say anything more about it that time either. 

Now that I read your email it is clear to me that you’re going there whether you like it or not.

Life seem to want to do something of that kind through you, and it seems to me like you could (after you’ve developed them) use your gifts to help and support people in their process of transitioning/dying. 

The specifics of the gift you have will of course become clear later when and if you decide to pursuit this.

The question is if you’re you open to explore this further this time around?

Without having any preconceived notions about any of it, are you willing to open yourself up to it a little bit, even for the sake of curiosity?

It may or may not be the case of course that you have this gift, but I feel strongly that there is a natural inclination for you to go in that direction.

And I also sense a resistance within you to even explore it but I think that you kind of have to open up to in order to progress.

How would it feel to say:

“Okay, I’m open to see what this is about even if I don’t particularly like it and it all sounds too woo-woo to me”?

I know the woo-woo aspect of it, so I get that, but you might be one of the very few people that actually have the authentic gift of being psychic. 

And if so, would that be something you would be open to explore, realizing that you don’t have to be like the stereotypical new age psychics?

That in whatever way in which ‘this’ wants to be expressed through you it will be in a way that is totally unique to you?

Okay, let it simmer in your consciousness for a bit, see what comes up for you.

In the meantime, let’s go through everything you wrote to me; let’s dive deeper! 

You wrote:

.. when my iPad randomly bleeped. A lot of these kinds of things have been taking place much more frequently than before.”

Continue reading part 2 here:

Burning up ego and becoming more aware and intuitive – Part 2/2 


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