Is it possible to change destiny? How?

“Is it possible to change destiny, and if so, how do I do that?”

In my life I have experienced that certain things are just out of our control but every time I feel like surrendering or giving up the universe shows me signs that I can get what I want.

Consulting astrologers and readers I have been told that separation and loneliness is my destiny but I really want to change it and I feel I can never win over that greater force.

I have been following you since long and like the way you present things.

Please guide if it is possible for me to change my destiny and live the life I want or I have no choice but to live up to what is destined for me.

Thank you.

My reply:

To realize your destiny is to live from your soul and not from the ego.

You can do this in every moment of your life and that way shape your future since everything we do has a consequence (positive or negative).

One thing I would suggest right from the start is to stop going to astrologers, psychics etc.

Stop consulting with them and stop reading horoscopes and birth charts.

Those things are the “greater force” that you feel inferior to and when they are eliminated (seen through), then there’s no longer any beliefs that holds you back.

The belief in Astrology and psychics etc is what keeps you in bondage to the ego consciousness.

It’s always the belief (no beliefs are true), and once you’re freed from the belief, you’re liberated and can go on living your life in freedom.

The only thing that keeps a human being small (feeling inferior) is when power has been given to outside authorities and powers. 

In your case it’s Astrology and people who say they can tell you your future, or destiny.

The belief makes all the difference.

If ten astrologers came to me and they all told me that I’m destined to such and such, I would completely ignore them.

It would make no difference whatsoever to me what they would tell me about my “destiny”.

You could ignore them too, but that would require you to dissect the beliefs you hold so that you can awaken from them.

It’s not just about deciding to not believe, you have to actually realize the Truth, and then you can’t believe anymore (it’s not possible to, even if you tried). 

For all my life I believed in Astrology, ever since I was a child I was all into it.

I read all the books I could get my hands on and learned a lot, but then in my mid-thirties sometime I think it was, the belief in Astrology started to crumble.

As all beliefs do when you go through a spiritual awakening process, and eventually I was set free from it, but it took me years because the belief was so ingrained in me.

The same happened with the belief in God, it was a long process too (not as long as with Astrology though), but once you finally see through the whole thing, it simply can’t exist anymore.

Like with Santa Claus.

You can never again believe that Santa Claus exists because at one point in your life you woke up from the belief and realized that it wasn’t real.

As most of us did, you probably believed in Santa Claus too (or something similar), and just as you later realized the Truth, you can do that with Astrology and other concepts too.

See through the beliefs and you’re set free.

Take charge of your destiny.

You are molding your future right now.

Right now you are actually in the process of changing your destiny!

Because before you started to feel doubt about the predictions (the lies you were told), you were guided by the flow of other people (the consciousness of the ego) and their beliefs and personal motives.

They told you that you’re destined to loneliness and separation and you believed them.

That’s all that happened really.

You believed someone over yourself and you own inner truth. 

But you could also feel some doubt, and the thought started to creep in that maybe it isn’t so, maybe what they say is not the Truth, and that your life can actually be changed.

And now something is changing, a shift is happening within you as you read this.

The power is shifting back to its rightful owner; You.

It would be easy for me to just tell you that you’re not destined to separation and loneliness, but I don’t want to do that.

I want you to say it.

Preferably out loud so all the gods you’ve created can hear you.

I want you to decide what your destined to or not destined to.

Say it!

Yes, right now. Even if you have to go to the bathroom to be alone and say it, then do it now.

Take back your power.

What do YOU think you’re destined to?

Feel it inside of your heart and say it out loud. 

Here’s another suggestion:

As I mentioned earlier, take a break from Astrology and other ‘readers’, seers, psychics and others you’re seeing and talking to, reading and so on.

Ditch them all.

Read nothing related to Astrology, contact no one (stop wasting your money on psychics), stop all that for a month.

During this time you will come to see how powerfully those things has been directing your life, how they have been affecting and altering your mood, attitude and thinking.

The ‘greater force’ is nothing but the ego. It can be very strong, but once you see through it, it’s defeated.

Refrain from reading one more horoscope. (I mean it, not even a last one!).

Stop right this minute.

Now, FEEL. 

How does it feel inside you when you read my suggestion?

Take a moment and really feel what happens inside of you. 

No daily horoscopes, no weekly or monthly horoscopes (or other readings) for a whole month.

How does it feel, how would it be?

Even for a couple of weeks would be enough!

Can you feel the false self becoming stressed about it, and uneasy about the whole thing?

How lost and anxious it starts to feel when it can’t get its daily/weekly/monthly fix from Astrology?

Or does the thought of going a whole month without consulting anything or anyone but your own self and life feel kind of liberating..?

Really FEEL for a moment. 

The ego is very uncomfortable with not knowing, it wants to ‘know’, that’s why Astrology etc. is such a big business.

But there’s also something within you that points you to a different kind of knowing.

Can you feel that too? Feel the difference between the two “knowings”.

That knowing, and This knowing [hand on your heart]. 

What if you became comfortable with not knowing ‘the future’?

Because in reality you don’t know! And they don’t know either.

No one knows.

And then after the two weeks or month, go ahead and read your favorite horoscope (or astrological chart), but do it with awareness.

Then you will realize how strongly it has affected you both negatively (makes the ego feel powerless and helpless) and positively (elevates the ego/makes it feel good).

You will then clearly see how the ego gets excited about “good news” such as predictions about receiving money, work success, or finding your soulmate (=typical astrological stuff), and how down and depressed (and powerless) it feels when it reads (or hears) something that it doesn’t like.

But the biggest Aha you will get from this is the awareness of how much it restricts you when you believe in it (whether it’s good or bad)!

That’s the biggest insight this will give you, the realization that you’ve been duped by a belief-system that tells you that your destiny depends on how the stars are aligned.

This in itself will help you realize that you don’t ever again want to put limitations on yourself again, and hopefully it will help you to not ever again consult an astrologer or psychic.

Astrology and other spiritual concepts are merely entertainment for the ego who desperately wants to know the future and its destiny.

It’s how it keeps itself alive! 

But you are not that. You are not the ego. 

Choose to be free.

You can change the course of your life and destiny at any time.

We can go in whatever direction we want at any point in time.

Right now you can make a conscious shift that has the potential to change everything.

And this is true always.

You can listen to the “experts” or you can ignore them and instead choose to be the authority of your own life.

And you can also choose (even if it’s unconsciously) to succumb to what the “experts” say about your destiny and resign to separation and loneliness and then let that belief unfold as your destiny.

What are you going to do?

It’s totally up to you.

Life unfolds in cycles.

Many people go through periods of separation (which is common in the awakening process), and most people feel at some point in their life alone or lonely (ask any teenager and they will tell you!).

But nothing in life is static, life always flows, moves and expands.

You might be going through a period where you feel separation and loneliness (or aloneness) and maybe it has lasted for years, but that doesn’t mean that that is your permanent destiny and that your whole life will be like that until the day you die.

If you feel separated and lonely, ask what it’s for, and how you can use this period in your life in the best way possible.

Sometimes before we can go out in the world so to speak, there’s a need to go deeply within, and that can for some people be a long process.

But ultimately it’s our attitude (and thoughts/beliefs) about it that makes us either suffer through it (and thus not learn from it), or it makes us realize the blessing/gift in it.

This experience that you’re having right now is a learning experience and maybe even the thing that will help you awaken.

For example;

When I lost my home it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been through in my life (right up there with drug addiction and rehab), but it was also the biggest turning point in my life that crushed the last remaining beliefs I had before my awakening was done. 

I can honestly say that the crisis I went through was the best thing that could ever had happened to me, but of course at the time it was the most difficult thing I went through, but it had to happen that way.

It was perfect how it happened.

If the same thing happened to me today I would not be able to suffer and struggle as I did then because now all beliefs are removed.

Some things in life can still be challenging (as for all human beings), but the emotional, mental and spiritual suffering is no longer possible. 

So I’m eternally grateful for the experience because without it I would still be in process of awakening.

The same is true for you.

There’s a hidden gem here, and it’s up to you to find it. 

What is this good for, the experience I’m having right now?” is a question you can ask yourself.

  • “The feeling of loneliness and separation, what is it trying to teach me?”
  • What good can come out of this period of my life?”

It’s not your destiny (as destiny is molded right now and always will be), it’s not a permanent state (nothing in life is), so what is it good for?

Ask that and listen to what comes from within, not from the outside (=from astrologers, psychics etc).

Life will inform you of the Truth, and that can never be found on the outside.

The moment you go to the outside for it, you’ve created the “greater force” that you now feel inferior to.

And the moment you reject it and instead go within, then the real Truth will reveal itself to you.

You wrote:

.. every time I feel like surrendering or giving up the universe shows me signs that I can get what I want.”

When you (finally!) relax and are able to let go, even if it’s reluctantly (feeling resigned and exhausted), that’s when Life (or the universe) can come in and make itself heard.

That’s when you hear it the clearest, when you surrender.

The moments when you ‘give up’ or surrender is when you actually relax enough for the universe to come in and guide you.

So whatever it is that you say you want, I assume you’re taking the appropriate action to make it happen in your life?

Feel very welcome to share below in comments what it is that you mean when you say “the universe shows me signs that I can get what I want”, and maybe I can give some further guidance about those things.

You can also send in a new question to me regarding that specifically:

“Ask Maria”

Some things we need to be persistent with while other things we need to let go and surrender more deeply into, so I can’t really give any further guidance on that until I know more details about what it is that you are trying to accomplish (the things you say you want).

In any case, when the surrender happens, the letting go, that’s when the struggle many times ends too and when the ‘relaxation’ happens, that’s when Life can get in and actually be heard.

Before that the mind might be racing too much, there might be too much resistance, or fear and worry (about the future and your destiny), that the universal flow of life gets hindered and restrained.

While in the surrendering Life can finally breathe again and then the next step can be shown. And it doesn’t have to be a struggle, it can happen harmoniously.

This is what you will come to realize the more you surrender into the moment, into the here and now.

When you take some time to only listen within without cluttering your mind with astrological predictions about your destiny.

See how it muddles up your thinking to believe in those things (and other concepts)?

Consulting other people and getting advice and guidance from them is great, but never make anyone else’s words the Truth.

Especially people who claim to know things about you such as psychics and astrologers.

Life and the universe is a complex thing and I advice anyone to run as fast as they can from anyone who claims to know or be ‘experts’ on the “secrets to the universe”.

The universe, or Life, reveals to you your parts in the vast tapestry of existence once you connect with your own natural flow.

This means you have to be more impressed by It than being impressed by other people who claim they know something about you, your life, and your destiny.

All we can really know for sure is this moment.

Not even this do we understand fully, but we are always given clues and guidance.

And your path becomes sprinkled with synchronicity, ‘coincidents’ and chance meetings when you follow your own path, and you already experience this when you “give up” (or surrender) as you put it.

That’s when you say you receive signs that tells you that you can in fact change your life and not have it be an experience of never-ending separation and loneliness.

The more you live in surrender to your own life (consciously moving from that space), the more ease there is.

There is only one path to follow; your own path, and it’s not destined or directed by how the stars and planets align, but by flow.

Your flow, not the flow, or stream of ego consciousness that the world is trying to (and many times succeeds in) impose on you.

There is your choice really.

To go with the flow of that, or the flow of your own inner truth, and the Truth of the moment.

So take a break from Astrology and others who say they can ‘predict your destiny’, and instead focus on making a life of your own, a life on your own terms.

If you succeed (get the success you dream of), great, but if not, at least you enjoyed the ride while you did your best!

It’s not about the end result (which doesn’t even exist as we will always continue to grow), it’s about the Now moment.

Be happy, do things that brings you joy and meaning, and let those things guide the direction of your destiny.

The “greater power” you feel is hindering you in living your life in a fulfilling way are the beliefs that you hold about life and existence.

Once they are removed, the power no longer exist.

Then the power is back with you, where it belongs.

Up until now you have been given it away, and now it’s time to take it back.


So what will you do next..?

What direction will you take?

There’s a million different directions you can take, and it’s all up to you.

You can reject one path and choose another one.

Whatever you choose does not automatically mean you will get everything you want though, but that’s not really the point is it?

The point of life is to actually live it, it’s about living life and making the best of it and yourself while you’re here.

To enjoy the journey, learn from the experiences and grow from them.

So I would say that our real destiny is to live a life that is true to ourselves where we follow the flow of our own natural inclinations and intuition.

To live from a place within us that is uncontaminated by the beliefs and thoughts or others.

The freedom that comes from that is what shapes our true destiny. 

Hope this was helpful to you and please feel very welcome to share your thoughts and feelings or add any additional questions in the comments below.

captain of my soul, change destiny
Take back your life and destiny. Say it out loud and let your own words empower you to make the best of yourself and your life. (The cat on the picture is one of my cat-friends 🙂 His name is Tom).


Here’s another article I think you might like:


Would you like me to write an article for you too?

Right now for a limited time “Ask Maria” is FREE to use for everyone!

Submit your questions and topic requests here:


(Offer ends in mid-October, 2017. More info on page).

Get in alignment with the flow of life

 Nothing beats talking one-on-one where you get personalized insight,

coaching and advice based on your own individual goals and desires.  


Work closely with me for the next two months: FLOW INTENSIVE

Add A Comment


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.