Choose a Life of Abundance and Beauty

Abundance and Beauty Belongs to You!

It doesn’t matter what religion you are, who your god/goddess is, or if you’re an atheist, ..

and I don’t care what you call it; God, spirit, the Universe, Source, higher mind, higher self, ..

whatever you call it, we can all agree on one thing, and that is that our god wants peace and happiness for us all. (I’m just going to use the word “God” for simplicity’s sake.)

God wants us all to have an abundant, beautiful and happy life!

We are the ones who are blocking our own blessings, and we do that by the thoughts we think and our moods and emotional state.

Our Beingness determines the quality of our life.

You can’t suffer (mentally/emotionally/spiritually) when you’re in alignment.

Physical reality is a projection of consciousness, of our own consciousness.

Whatever we hold in our consciousness in terms of beliefs and perspectives becomes our experience of life, and for many people the beliefs and perspectives are very disempowering.

But when you know that a belief is not a fact, but an opinion, a perspective, a point of view, ..

then you also have the power to shift away from those perspectives and beliefs.

A belief or opinion is not a fact, it’s just a perspective.

For example, when something ‘bad’ happens;

We can decide to look at it differently, we can decide that it somehow serves a positive purpose even if it may look like it doesn’t.

You can decide that everything serves you in positive ways, even if it doesn’t look that way and you rather not be in the situation that you’re in.

Whatever happens in life, we get to decide how we want to meet it and perceive it, and if something already is, why make it more difficult for yourself by thinking negatively about it?

Here’s a couple of old articles that came to mind that you might like:

Can an illness or crisis be a catalyst for awakening?

Defeat or Liberation; Your Call.

We can decide to have a new point of view, to give something new meaning,

It’s in our free will to choose to think/believe that whatever happens somehow helps us become more of who we really are.

The positive/negative outlook is for us to choose with our free will, so ask yourself which outlook you think serves you best and then choose that.

We can only change our life by changing the way we think and through the words we use (both outwardly and inwardly).

So make every effort to be positive-minded in your life and soon it becomes the way you ‘are’, just like the way you are now is ‘just the way you are’ also.

It’s a choice we make, and we have the power to change.

You might like these two articles as well:

Look at everything with fresh eyes – Live in the Now

Use contrast to help you gain clarity and find new direction

The abundant life is available for all.

If you don’t believe this for yourself then I urge you to change your mind and get a new perspective.

Abundance and the beauty of life is real and you have the right to it, just like everybody else.

Affirmation: “God would never limit me! God wants me to have an abundant life. Financially abundant AND abundant in beauty and wonder!”


Take a long, slow, powerful, deep breath, and think only of the breath when you inhale.

Have your focus only on the breathing, and it will get you back into this moment Right Now.

The long, slow, yet powerful inhalation of breath will help you snap out of any negative thought-patterns.

Break through the resistance and do this now, just do the breath inhale, fully.

And then slowly exhale all the way out after you have inhaled as much air as you possibly could, and relax your body completely when you do this.

And then do it once more.

Now check your mind; is the thought still there, that was bothering you, or has it been expelled from your mind?

One of these breaths and the intense focus you give it is enough to help you snap out of any excessive thinking, worry, or stress etc.

When we take the deepest breath ever, and we breathe all the way in, and all the way out, while thinking of nothing but the breath, you disrupt the old thinking-patterns and this will help you gain control over your mind and emotions.

After each exhale, say out loud to yourself:

“God would NEVER limit me!” and realize the power of this affirmation, it’s a statement of Truth; The true God would never limit you.

Speaking these words out loud reinforces the energy of the words, so say it with power and confidence.

Break the thought-patterns that doesn’t serve you, and do it until YOU are in charge of your emotional state.

Abundance and Beauty are for you.

A beautiful mind, a beautiful soul, a beautiful heart,

Beauty all around you, ..

Beautiful moments, ..

A beautiful and abundant LIFE!

It’s for you.

It is you.

Let go of the old, limited self and move forward in power and freedom!

Now after you have done this exercise, take a piece of paper and a pen and ask this question:

  • “What 3 things can you say to me, God?”, and then listen and write down those three things on the paper.

Next, ask this question:

  • “What would you want me to have and be, God?”, and write those things down as well.

Now you will see a correlation/link between the answers, they reveal something important that will help you move forwards feeling empowered and with new direction.

Your life will look and be vastly different in a months time if you follow the instructions and guidance of the things God tells you.

Lastly, say this out loud, with strong sincerity and power:

  • “Please don’t let me waste another day not living that! Let me clearly see what is mine to do.”

One way to find that out is to ask yourself these simple questions:

  • “What do I ‘know’ (have an inner ‘knowing’ about)?” and “What do I feel right about?”, and then do the things that comes up for you.

Sometimes it can be something very small, or it can be something you already knew but needed to have confirmed, and sometimes it’s about taking a big leap into something new, but whatever it is, do it right away, don’t wait,

Don’t wait another day not living a life that you deserve; a life of Abundance and Beauty!

(Original) image by Felix Mittermeier on

I’ve never had a conversation like that before

I just wanted to say thank you so much again for our session yesterday, I’ve never had a conversation like that before and it was truly amazing. I could feel weight lifted as we were talking and for the first time my mind did not try to make sense of things, it was all truly felt in the heart space.

Val, Melbourne, Australia

This journey with you has been amazing

Words cannot fully express the profound impact of my session with you – it has been nothing short of magical. You helped me remove the blockages that held me back, helped me recognize my true worth, and providing so much insight that has been truly life-changing!

— Sarah K.

I have never felt more aligned to my true self

Maria’s awareness of energies and the conditions of the mind are truly impressive. She knows exactly what’s going on. She is so attuned to other peoples’ energy that she just knows where you’re at. After working with her I have never felt more alive and aligned to my true self.

Andrew B, San Diego, CA, USA

The whole session felt as if it was operating on another level

If you can trust one thing in your life right now, trust Maria. You can trust her with your heart and soul. It’s hard to explain, the whole session felt as if it was operating on another level. I’ve never had that kind of experience before. It just felt so much bigger than I anticipated. I can tell you with absolute honesty and conviction that having a session with Maria is life-changing!

– Lisa, USA

Beyond grateful for the transformational journey we shared

Maria, I am beyond grateful for the transformational journey we shared. it was nothing less than a miracle that has allowed me come into who I really am. I wake up every morning with a big smile on my face, feeling immense gratitude for just being alive, I can’t explain it, I´m just enjoying this fully. Your guidance has so profoundly changed my life, and I cannot thank you enough.

— R. Los Angeles, USA

You have really made a difference in how my mind works

I don’t know if I make sense, but all I can say is that I feel blissful. And I can’t thank you enough for that. I don’t know exactly how you managed this, but you have really made a difference in how my mind works.

– Silvia, Marbella, Spain

Could not more highly recommend

Maria is the real deal. You will sense it the moment you lay eyes on her. She offered much, much more than I’ve derived from other teachers; highly specific and personal recommendations. It is as though I got a crash graduate course from spirit. Could not more highly recommend!

Catherine Rondeau, Westport, Connecticut, USA

The feeling of peace and freedom is priceless

This feeling of peace and freedom is priceless. Maria is beyond amazing. Had I not experienced it myself, I would probably not believe it. I recommend anyone who is trying hard to be truly free and really start walking down the path of self fulfillment and happiness to book a session with her.

I had a complete turnaround to my situation

I had a complete turnaround to my situation so many thanks for helping me transform something I had lost hope about. It’s a miracle and the outcome could not have turned out better! If you want to see a real shift not just psychological but spiritual shift, then Maria is the lady to see. I am so glad I found you!

– Sophie P

Maria is leading people to a new way of being

Maria is changing the world by her presence. She’s leading people to a new way of being. She’s able to see where you are at in your journey and can show you the way forward. I feel so incredibly grateful that she has been a companion during this time of change. If you feel drawn to connect with Maria I encourage you to move forward with confidence.

– Carolyn W. Asheville, NC, USA

Now I know what is creating my reality

I’m overflowing with gratitude and joy! Life has changed dramatically for me after our time together. I have truly realized on a fundamental level what is creating my reality and it has given me confidence for the first time in my life to finally be ME, I feel liberated to be my authentic self!

— J. Carlson

You are truly a gift to us all!

I can’t even begin to express how much I have gained internally after my session with you. You have been an instrument of peace in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

– Owen, USA

Something happened within me that I cannot explain

During and after our session, something happened within me that I cannot explain nor would it even make sense to anyone. There was a part of me that felt my being been taken over by a real peacefulness that I’ve never encountered before. Sounds odd but it’s the truth.

– A.


  1. Miki

    Beauty, expectation ( from God ) and abundant are my three words.
    I was working on and dropping my expectations to people. So when I got the word expectation I was surprised and confused. But having expectation to God who sees the whole picture and knows the best for me, is different!

  2. However you interpreted the question and the answers you got was perfectly right for you at the time you did the exercise, but what I meant was not ‘words’, but ‘things’.

    Like sentences, or specific guidance, or pointers to something, coming directly from that which you call God.

    It’s like having a conversation with God/the Divine/Universe;

    Imagine God standing before you, like a friend, or person, or you can just imagine that it’s your higher, all-knowing self who speaks directly to and with you.

    If God spoke three things directly to you, what would he/she/it say?

    That’s what I meant.

    But of course it can be a simple word too, whatever comes to you is absolutely right, there are no wrong answers when doing this.

    The messages you got a few hours ago when you did the exercise was exactly what you needed to hear, but you can do this again, every day if you want to, and you can by doing this develop an closer relationship with the higher power/mind that knows everything about you and sees everything, knows everything etc.

    You can also ask for more details if the answers are only words, like the words you received.

    Simply ask; “what do you mean by _____?”

    And then keep asking for more details and information until you get more clarity.

    Most of the time it’s crystal clear though (and it comes very quickly, like immediately), no confusion at all, you just ‘know’ exactly what God means with the three things he/she/it has to say to you.

    So you can do this again; simply ask again and imagine having God before you;

    “What three things can you say to me, God?” and then see what comes up. 😊

  3. And the question is completely open-ended, so the answers you receive can literally be about anything, so don’t limit God by asking about something specific, although you can do that too of course if you want to, but in this exercise it’s an open question where the infinite Spirit/Divine can tell you three things about absolutely anything, and what comes back to you is always something that is of most importance to you, things that God/Source thinks is important for you to know or hear.

  4. Tom.

    Hi Maria,

    Contemplating on your article today, I’ve realised that there is a level of maturity required to fully let go of the limited self as when we truly know our limitless nature the experience of being limited is a real novelty.

    It is fun to struggle and see life as a challenge when in truth it is simply a joyous experience, it is no wonder it can sometimes take a long time to let go.

    Similar to being on a rollercoaster in which we can throw our hands in the air and enjoy the ride or cling on tightly imagining we are saving ourself from dying.

    The challenge of course is that living life from this limitless state in alignment with truth (divine will, god, universe whatever) is in opposition to the way in which others are commonly operating.

    Therefore the real challenge is consistently committing to truth, joy, peace and aligning with that which arises from the heart when we are challenged to do otherwise.

    The rational mind is just completely unequipped to be able to comprehend any of this and it can only be learnt experientially, usually through contrast which we experience until we truly let go.

    I am experiencing this still, there is a desire to return to a limited state of being, partly through enjoyment of feeling small and every now and again because of getting caught in an old behavioural pattern.

    How can choosing joy, love, abundance and peace seem audacious?

    The answer that arises is that we exist in a reality where it simply isn’t common (yet) and stepping into the unknown takes big bollocks, just like any adventure.

    Thank you for having the courage to step into uncharted territory and ceasing to play limited…


  5. Hi Tom,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ponderings! 😊

    Yes, in a way it’s a matter of maturity (meaning; the higher level of self-awareness you have, the clearer you also see the limited self), but at the same time not, because each moment is neutral and a new starting point, so wherever you are on your own path and journey, or growth (mature/immature), doesn’t really matter.

    Even to think that it does is a limiting belief in itself, and not only that, but the ego can also use that as an excise to not grow or evolve the current stage by saying things like “you’re not ready”, “you have a long way to go”, “you don’t know enough yet” and so on.

    So it uses the belief that ‘you have to be mature to make this alignment stuff work’ as a way to keep you small and limited!

    So there’s no maturity required actually, only a willingness to look and see beyond limiting beliefs, as it’s only the beliefs we hold that keeps us small and restricted.

    Yes, most people/the world operate on a different (lower) level of consciousness and are driven by fear and so on (ego, essentially), but there’s also a huge shift taking place, which is positive and good.

    Many more people are waking up now compared to when I was in the depth of my own awakening process, and many younger people too, which is awesome.

    I am pretty sure that your daughter for example will have way more awareness and self-awareness than what our generations had growing up, or what our parents had when they grew up etc, and this is wonderful.

    So we’re progressing in a positive direction even though there’s a huge divide in the world right now where people are either rising in consciousness, of staying in the old where there is no growth or evolution.

    The most important thing is to follow the direction of your heart and the flow of your own life’s energy, and that will then take care of everything else.

    Everything good comes when you listen to your higher self, or God/Divine.

    Here’s some more articles that you might like:

  6. And yes, it does take a lot of courage as following your own path in life is not encouraged by society!

    But you have to do it – There’s no other way to live, and the ‘reward’ you get for doing that is that you actually get to live life and not merely exist.

    A few other articles that came to mind:

    Break free

  7. Tom

    Thanks Maria, love hearing your perspective…

    Thank you very much for the links also.

    With regards to my daughter, I’ve stopped teaching her anything and just keep leading her back to her heart/truth, she’s got all the answers there.

    There is nothing more important than that from my perspective, aside from modelling unconditional love for both her and myself.

    A direct question has come to me if it is ok to ask you, if you haven’t experienced anything similar then no worries;

    The ego still pipes up now and again but is predominantly quiet and is seen clearly for what it is, subjective and has no ability to cause reactivity or a response any more. However, I am finding that heart is still capable of contracting also and when it does I am unable to align or hear god/truth/divine wisdom and the experience becomes colourless, dull, humourless, less connected, creativity vanishes the list goes on…

    Could this be something that I am doing/not doing and am still blind to? it certainly isn’t due to attention on the narrative of the ego but I can’t seem to find a pattern.

    The experience is much more preferable when heart is open and I am in alignment with that which arises from there…I have firmly told it to open as well and that doesn’t work haha!!

    This leaves me in a weird limbo state, no longer directed by the ego and not able to follow the heart which is strange to say the least.

    Any thoughts or experience of this would be greatly appreciated as this is uncharted territory for me, I had assumed it would be smooth sailing but as seems to be the case more often than not, I was wrong again!


  8. That’s awesome Tom, that you let your daughter find her own way, I love that! 👍

    About your question;

    What is it that your heart is contracting about?

    If you could give me some context to a situation or something when that happens then I’m more able to offer some insights.

  9. Tom

    I have no idea, it seems to have two modes; either open and expanded or contracted and closed…

    There is no specific circumstance or situation that seems to be causing it (or a pattern that I am aware of) This is not to say it isn’t something that I am unconscious of however.

    I realise this doesn’t help you in the slightest compared to an isolated issue eg contracting when I do x activity or am hanging around with x person.

    Ahhh, it expanded when I decided I was going to enjoy myself with a coffee and a session in the gym for the first time in ages but I don’t recall an event when it closed several weeks later.

    Perhaps the coffee and exercise just caused a temporary expansion…

  10. Well, feel very welcome to share more when you gain more awareness around it! You have the awareness, so that’s great, it’s a super-power that we have! 😊

  11. Tom

    I will absolutely report back with my findings!

    Thank you for your time and holding space for this discussion…it has just occurred to me that there is an opportunity to learn more about the heart this way, knowledge that I wouldn’t be able to gain had it been in a constant state of expansion so I’m really grateful for that.

    Have a fantastic evening…


  12. Tom

    I’ve just seen your message regarding the open/closed heart article…

    Thank you very much, I’ll have a read of that now.


  13. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    I have meditated on this further and have discovered the answer intuitively…

    During the early stages of my awakening process I experienced periods of bliss which in contrast to my limited state of consciousness at the time were overwhelmingly pleasant.

    These brief experiences were in hindsight what ensured the awakening process continued and are now actually just my default state of being and are simply comfortable.

    The same has occurred with the heart, these several experiences of an all inclusive, vast open lens have ensured that the process here continues.

    My current state, although rational is not unpleasant at all, very peaceful in fact yet nothing in comparison to the experiences that I have had whilst operating from an all inclusive unconditionally loving lens.

    Therefore it is reasonable to conclude that at some point that vast open hearted experience will become my new normal state.

    Work seems to have shifted from mind to heart which is utterly new territory and it will be fascinating to observe how this unravels…


  14. Good morning Tom ☀️

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights/conclusions!

    Yes, it’s a balancing act, or a rewiring that happens, and in that process you tend to go from one extreme to another, but it’s all coming together beautifully as you evolve, or grow into yourself as you really are.

    It’s a good thing to have the attitude that you have, that you’re fascinated about how things will unfold and progress.

    That kind of attitude or approach makes us like ‘little children’, which is a good state to be in because it leaves us continuously open, experimental and curious about life! 😊

  15. Tom

    I adore discussing these things with you and sharing perspectives…

    It is fascinating how we naturally return to a childlike state of curiosity with presence and the more childlike we become the more wisdom we have access to through our openness.

    We undoubtedly had all the answers when we emerged, we just couldn’t communicate them before we became a product of our environments, which emphasises the sacred role of parents.

    One of the things that really fascinates me recently is how the drugs I used to take (pharmaceutical or recreational) were capable of temporarily shifting me into a more expanded state of consciousness.

    I took a pharmaceutical medication for many years and it is only in hindsight that I recognise that I experienced states of consciousness that I experience now.

    The difference of course was my ego was still fully in command so my behaviour was still fear based and pain avoidant to say the very least…

    Another recreational drug I took was capable of temporarily opening my heart similar to the experiences I have been having recently.

    How could a tablet be capable of those things? Perhaps it was the belief alone that caused the effect…I don’t know…

  16. That’s exactly right – We were already aligned when we came here, and then we get disconnected from that alignment because of the unaware people around us that programs us to limited beings.

    Yes, drugs can help us expand our consciousness, for sure, but of course they should be taken in a healthy way, not as a way of escaping or numbing yourself as you also mentioned.

    I have been addicted to prescription drugs so I know the hell that you have to go through when you stop taking them.

    The doctors were literally throwing pills at me when I was in rehab, telling me that I ‘have to’ take them for the rest of my life and that without them I could never be happy again (because my brain was damaged from all the drugs I’ve taken), but I told them that I would heal myself and become 100% free from ALL drugs and find happiness naturally, – and I did!

    How a tablet can be capable of opening your heart and mind etc is not a mystery at all if you think about it;

    We’re biological beings with brains and a body with many different systems that are connected to each other etc etc etc, so it’s not all “spiritual” as many want to believe.

    We can induce the sensations of an evil presence by taking certain drugs (or taking too much or in the wrong way), and we can also induce the presence of God/Divine by taking different drugs as well (taking them in the right way, with the right intention), they all just stimulate different parts of the brain! 😊

  17. Tom


    My heart has started to open again, I thought it might be fascinating to report back as the shift is fairly profound.

    There is absolutely no interest in the things I was fascinated by yesterday…my perspective has shifted from rational and a desire to understand things to humour and joy.

    Life is no longer seen as a serious business but there is an overwhelming amount of gratitude for the opportunity of the experience of life.

    Your open/closed article helped me realise I was choosing to keep my heart closed (through fear predominantly) so thank you very much for that and for holding space over the last few days…

    God knows what will happen next, literally!


  18. I love that! And you’re so very welcome, glad I could be here for you.

    It’s so awesome how we can shift to a completely new way of being literally over night like that and then be changed forever.

    I’m glad to hear that my article was helpful to you, and thank you for sharing the update, I love hearing these kinds of things.

    Exciting times ahead! 😊

  19. Tom


    I feel guided to continue updating as things unfold…

    My experience is currently of ‘whole being knowing’ (not heart or mind but whole knowing including body) no idea if that makes any sense…

    Not long after I messaged you I received a contact completely out of the blue from someone regarding an opportunity of a job which is so far away from anything I’ve done in the past and my response was just knowing to go for it.

    I have attempted for a year to earn money and have attempted to take action in so many directions and each time I have reached dead ends or the desire/energy has just dissolved within a short space of time (this has been frustrating! But can see how limited my attempts were now)

    I responded with a yes to this opportunity but it turns out they don’t have cash flow currently.

    I then knew for absolute certain that I wanted to do it and knew that I should still pursue it responding to see if we can come to some sort of arrangement…

    Wonder what they’ll say, I’m absolutely fine either way but fascinating how it popped up from nowhere and I am both excited and nervous about the potential to start something completely new!

  20. Sounds like you’re coming into wholeness, functioning as a whole person without inner wars and conflicts so that’s wonderful. 😊👍

    Alignment brings you into the fullness of who you are, and when that starts to happen more and more, you also begin to draw into your life opportunities and other things that are in alignment with the higher frequencies, so congrats on the job opportunity, maybe it is what is up next for you.

    Thank you for sharing, I’m excited for you! 😊

  21. Tom

    Positionality has been causing all my problems, identifying with either life perspective and repressing the other, a really clear example of this with regards to an activity has been going to the gym only to challenge myself vs going to the gym only for enjoyment for periods of time – caused me a whole heap of shit, stuck flip flopping around between beliefs haha!

    Seems ridiculous – identifying with any belief about life is limited.

    Just read your blessing article (fantastic by the way) and blessed everyone, their bodies and the machines in the gym –

    I reckon everyone had the best workout of their lives, I know I did!


  22. My pleasure Tom! And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate you letting me know, it’ always nice to hear and receive appreciation. 😊

    And you’re not hijacking anything, I love having these kinds of conversations and I also love when people share their updated with me, so share away and let the convo flow in its own natural and beautiful ways!

  23. Tom

    You’re most welcome! Me too…especially whilst in the midst of transformation…utterly fascinating!

    Finding some resistance to accepting the intuitive aspect but can no longer deny it as I know that without it I’m existing partially.

    Society has incorrectly deemed it as only feminine which is a load of bollocks and the rational aspect as only masculine.

    We’ve got both it seems.

    I return to the limited mind and rationality for a period and then to the heart and intuitive/emotion and then there are periods of no division whatsoever.

    This is where I am right now, it is very simple, nothing special at all – Just normal and recognised.

    I am almost certain I shall return to a more limited state for a period again, thats ok, just unravelling as we said and it isn’t unpleasant or painful like when there was re-identification with a limited self.

    Experiencing life as an individual is recognised as a gift, especially as this legend haha!

    Only one perspective but from here advaita/non-duality seem to be another escape hatch for the limited self to avoid reality.

    We have the opportunity to experience life as an individual, can’t be wasting that!!

  24. Yes, we are both, but the intuitive part of us is many times conditioned away and the rational mind (which is very limited) takes over and then life becomes very imbalanced, restricted, and gets out of alignment.

    But the more you do the awareness practices that you’re doing, by going back and forth and are feeling into both sides etc, the better and more connected with it and yourself you’ll become.

    Here’s a link to some of my articles about intuition that you might like:

  25. Tom

    That’s my experience! Been expanding out into knowing and openness then back into a limited lens and rationality.

    Couldn’t articulate anything yesterday…But in simple terms it is;

    Existing and plodding along doing ok, rigid and closed.


    Loving life and smashing all aspects of it, open.

    I’m boring myself talking about a process now as my focus is on growth and excellence…desire to connect with others on the same path and don’t want to waste any more time!

    Just off to the gym…

  26. Always great to hear from you Tom, and thank you for sharing!

    It’s always a bit wobbly before you get established in the new level of consciousness and the higher awareness you’re gaining by doing the practices that you’re doing.

    It can be a little bit of a back and forth process, but once you see through the false, it gets easier to just choose to go with Truth and that which you prefer and enjoy more.

    Here are a couple of (very old) articles that came to mind that you might like:

    I share some of my own life experiences and stories in them.

    And here’s a more recent/new one:

    Hope you enjoy the read and find it helpful! 😊

  27. Tom

    Thanks for the links Maria, love reading about your experiences and nothing like reading about ego to see if there is any reaction from ego!

    Hope you’ve had a great day…

  28. I read them too today for the first time in years I think, and remembered back to when I moved to Nerja and the feeling when I finally sat there in my OWN place after had been stuck in the Norwegian woods (I lived in Norway for nearly twenty years before I moved to Spain) and was living on welfare for 5-6 years when I went through (parts of) my awakening process there.

    The feeling of freedom was indescribable, and I can still feel how amazingly awesome it was to finally land in my new life here in Spain and getting a place that was my own! 😊 (The story I shared about what happened once I came to Nerja.)

    Not sure what you meant by “nothing like reading about ego to see if there is any reaction from ego!” though,

    Are you talking about your own triggers, or what do you mean?

  29. Tom

    Interesting reading back through I should imagine. Bet it seems like a little speed bump in the road in hindsight as opposed to the process you thought it was at the time…

    Nerja looks absolutely beautiful and I’m so happy for you that you made it out of the woods!

  30. Tom

    Blessed to have suffered enough to transform…

    Like a caterpillar to a butterfly in your wooded chrysalis…Fantastic!

    Just noticed i’ve judged someone for being lazy in the gym, blessed them and their body immediately, absolute game changer that article was!

  31. I love that Tom! Thank you, and yes, it’s very powerful, and here’s another one that came to mind that you might like that also helps shift our mindset/perspective:


    ”How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively. Orange Butterfly: “You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” – Trina Paulus

  32. tom

    It’s a really powerful outflow of energy isn’t it! blessing the most challenging people in my life is a game changer too…

    Enjoyed that article, still find myself grumbling at some of my duties!

  33. Tom

    Here’s an interesting one Maria…

    Just had a request off an old client for a website build.

    The thought of the money from this right now is really tempting but the reality is that I have to suffer sitting at a computer putting a foot back into my old way of being and using a skill that seems to have been left behind!

    I am choosing to decline this project knowing there is something better that I can enjoy getting paid for.

    The question is, am I being a lazy rotter and rejecting the gifts of life or am I making a choice that is beneficial for creating my future?

    No idea, but I guess there’s only one way to find out!!

  34. Hi Tom,

    How’s it going? Did you turn it down, or are you still thinking about what to do?

    Sometimes the Universe sends us a job just to get to the next phase, and sometimes it’s a job that you don’t particularly like, but it serves its purpose at the time to get you to the next level, or place.

    And then it’s a good thing that you don’t ‘like’ it because it will help you keep your focus on moving forward rather than staying in it for longer than you need (otherwise you might get stuck in it, so in that sense it’s actually helpful that you don’t like it!).

    Here’s a personal story that came to mind:

    I had another temporary job many many years ago in Telesales/Telemarketing (which was not what I liked at all), but I knew that I was meant to have it just to save up money, and then after about three months or so, the place closed down and everyone lost their jobs.

    I was the only one happy about it lol! But that was because I saw the bigger picture, while the others only saw their perceived loss, not knowing that “when one door closes, another one opens..”.

    Anyway, it was perfect for me at the time and it allowed me to save up enough money to be able to go to the States, which I loved.

    The thing with the job you were offered; if you don’t have your beliefs in place and you only act on your desires, or hopes, then that might not be a good idea (that you turn it down),

    But if you do have your beliefs in place and you feel in your heart that you’re following your gut feeling and ‘inner knowing’ on it to say no, then that is the best thing for you to do.

    Sometimes people reject money making opportunities from a place where they don’t really believe (subconsciously) that something better will open up or come to them, so when they make decision from a place of ‘hope’ rather than ‘knowing’, then it could turn out to be a mistake that they said no to it.

    You have to really tune into what your gut and intuition is telling you. (And obviously ALWAYS say no to things that are out of integrity.)

    The job might be exactly what you need right now too, but only you can know that.

    Just don’t disregard it just because you think you wouldn’t like it, especially if you need some income to stay afloat so to speak, to help you to where you need to go next, or to help you so that you don’t have to worry about money right now, if you do that.

    It could be a blessing in disguise, just like my job was that I shared about in the Jesus article.

    It’s a very individual thing, so for example sometimes people are guided to quit their job without having anything new lined up, but that doesn’t mean that everybody should do that.

    Only do that or those kinds of things if you have got the clear guidance from within to do so.

    I have said no to collaborations for example that promised me a lot of money (at a time when I really needed it) simply because they felt out of alignment and there was no integrity in it, so it was a clear No for me.

    So it’s not about the money, but about having the awareness of seeing what might be for you and what is not, no matter how it might ‘look’ on the outside, or at first glance.

    Let us know what happens!

  35. You can also talk more with them and gather more information before you make a final decision, that can be helpful too.

    You can always do that without making a commitment to do the assignment and just feel into how the whole thing feels intuitively when you do that.

    That way you will come to a right conclusion and decision more easily and where you know with absolute certainty that you made the right decision, whatever the decision will end up to be.

  36. Tom

    Thanks very much Maria,

    I can’t do it whole heartedly and I no longer have the skills anyway haha!

    I have spent over twenty years choosing money over heart and for the last four and half years/five years during the ego dissolution process this pattern has kept me stuck in liminal space.

    There is an opportunity to step back into that behavioural pattern and the old and an opportunity to step into the unknown and the new which is causing mild panic haha!

    As I have learnt from numerous occasions in the past this panic is a good signal for the potential of a big positive shift!

    At present I am capable of fairly basic things as I become stabilised or find my feet so to speak – art, training/exercise/cleaning/humour/chores/talking/driving/writing/shopping/eating/drinking etc…

    I am relearning to function and it would be dishonest to take it on knowing I could neither do an excellent job nor put my heart into it and coding/web isn’t a skill I have retained (I learnt it during the ego dissolution process and it has been left behind) I neither enjoy it or plan to relearn it again.

    Also being on computers and technology as a whole makes me feel very disoriented currently..,

    I still haven’t heard from the exciting opportunity I mentioned to you yet…Perhaps that will be my new path as we said, who knows…

    Not sure what you meant by my beliefs – My values are more important to me and they are integrity, excellence and doing things whole heartedly.

    I excitedly applied for a cleaners job at a pub round the corner at Christmas by the way and didn’t get it haha!

    Quite a contrast to being a business consultant on a big day rate and having a global watch brand!

    I don’t know what is in store for me, it’s a weird time of no mans land and I’m ok with that…doing what I am capable of for the time being.

    No longer in the old and not quite in the new yet!

    Will update you with any progress, thanks so much again for your response and have a fantastic day x

  37. Then that’s he exact right thing for you to do, to just say no to it! 😊

    I know exactly how it feels to be utterly done with something.

    I remember for example when I finally got my own home after having been homeless for 2,5 years, living in other people’s homes doing house and pet sitting,

    And even if it was mostly a great experience (I stayed in many amazing homes and took care of many wonderful four-legged friends that I really loved), I was ecstatic when I was offered my own place to live (which happened magically and out of the blue).

    (I had been given (yes, given) a beachfront apartment some months before that by someone else too, where I could live for free, but something didn’t feel quite right about it so I turned it down after some very deep inner conversations/prayer time.

    As it turned out later, my gut feeling was right, and I was SO happy that I had the guts to follow my intuition even if I literally had no clue where I would stay even the next week.

    I had nothing lined up, nowhere where I could stay, but once I said No to the thing that felt off, another, much better and very aligned opportunity came to me that turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life, but that’s a whole other story!😊)


    In the transition time (after I moved in to my own place finally) I had many people still contacting me asking me if I could do house and pet sitting for them, and I just felt so done with that part of my life so it was really obvious to me to just say no.

    It was very wobbly/unstable for a while financially in that process, but I had to keep believing that things would improve as I moved forwards with my life in my new chapter of life and that I didn’t go back to something that no longer felt aligned, or ‘right’.

    Yes, the unknown can be scary, but that’s also where the magic of life comes from, so when you’ve done it a few times you know that that’s usually the way to go with all things in life.

    And yes, it is a sign of positive change when the ego/small self is squirming lol

    I forgot about the new opportunity that you mentioned earlier, it sounds like that is the way for you to go then, rather than going back to an old version of yourself that you’re done with.

    What I meant by the things I said about beliefs is that we operate from our belief-systems, so if you have a subconscious belief that is in conflict with what your conscious level mind thinks, then the subconscious beliefs will always ‘win’.

    That’s why it’s so important to follow what YOUR inner being is leading you towards, and sometimes it is to take a radical step like quitting your job, or take some other huge leap of faith, but that doesn’t mean that that’s the right thing for everyone to do.

    Sometimes people think that “oh, the universe will support me’ and they just quit their job for example just because someone else did that and it ‘worked’ for them.

    God/the Divine/Higher Self leads us all in different ways, we all have a different and unique path, so it’s important to follow the energy of That, instead of what other people has done ‘successfully’ as it may not work that way for you, simply because you have a different path to go.

    The aligned path is always based on your intuition, individuality (internal truth), and how God shows the way through synchronicity and other signs and happy and sometimes weird (in a good way) coincidences. ✨🌟✨

    So yes, keep us updated on what happens next, and you too have a fabulous day! 😊

  38. Tom

    Yes, could not do another minute of coding! completely done…

    However, dug around inside meditating last night and gained a completely different perspective…some of my talents are communication, consultancy and talent discovery so I am taking the project on, helping the client and collaborating with some fantastic talent to deliver the project.

    This is how I worked for years and loved it…Feel fortunate today to be able to earn money helping others whilst still having loads of time/flexibility to continue being completely present with my daughter and do the things we love.

    It won’t get in the way of this new opportunity if it comes into fruition either, they are both flexible and remote. Interestingly the opportunity is talent management in film and TV – utilising my skills that I listed above just in a different industry!

    Understand what you mean now regarding beliefs, you’re talking about surface level belief whilst unaware of the deeper subconscious truth that is steering the ship…

    Love hearing about your experiences, I’m certain we will get an opportunity to sit in the sunshine sharing stories and having a coffee at some point!

  39. That is fantastic news Tom! How wonderful 😊👍

    I don’t entirely understand what it is that you’re going to do, but I’m really happy for you. 😊

    Glad to hear things are coming together for you,

    and thank you for sharing the unfoldment of it here, it’s so good for others to read what we have talked about in our conversation too.

    So many good things when you’re following the nudges and guidance from the universe and your higher self!

  40. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    Felt guided to update you…

    After we last spoke I contemplated on what you mentioned about beliefs as that stuck with me and this lead me to realise how many limited beliefs I actually held still…

    Following this then lead me to the realisation that I was choosing limited over divinity/truth and this was the cause of what I referred to as my heart opening and closing…

    The term ‘Be a human expression of divinity’ kept coming up over and over and over.

    I realised I am able to choose to place my attention on the vastness of divinity/truth (what I was calling my heart before) and I am able to place my attention on the limited. The contrast of experiencing both has been so important as I can now see that I have been choosing things as fleeting as happiness and pleasure over joy, peace, love and divinity.

    The most fascinating part was realising that it was a choice and was a forty year old habit that I was totally unaware of!

    The more I focus on the divine aspect of me I find myself merging with its vastness exactly the same as when I focus on the limited mind and merge with the uncomfortable confines of that.

    Choosing divinity/truth is the only option now…

    Perhaps this makes sense, no idea but I feel so fortunate to have been able to learn about all of this with such clarity and thank you so much again for the space and your perspective…

  41. Yes! That’s it. 😊 It’s a choice we make and have to make over and over again until it becomes who we are.

    Because it is who we are!

    The only thing between us and ‘that’, is our beliefs, but it’s also a balancing thing, or ‘merging’ if you will, where all aspects of ourselves is loved and accepted (and essentially, aligned).

    You might like these articles: (“how to be human in a merrily way” 😊)

  42. Tom

    Flawed in every way imaginable…

    Being aware allows us to grow though… I ate a load of food today that wasn’t beneficial for my recovery and made me feel shit after a massive endurance session, learnt from it, won’t do it again.

    Just got to live and learn and tweak as we go…

  43. Tom

    And most of all…


    I’m having a really fascinating one now, my passion/interest has shifted entirely to endurance training…

    I know without any doubt that it is what I am meant to be doing right now…I have trained predominantly to look good naked for the chicas for almost 15 years haha!!

    I’m absolutely loving it, looking at ultramarathons, never saw this one coming…

  44. Tom

    Haha, my pleasure!

    Humility too…got really cocky on the rower today thinking I was invincible and almost instantly went into a pain cave haha! Had to do a bit of surrendering to get through that one…Lesson learnt!

  45. Tom

    Hey Maria, how are you?

    Do you have any articles/perspective on life coming in waves?

    Eg. Inspiration/action then rest inspiration/action then rest

    Starting to see a pattern to my activity

    No probs if not…

  46. Yes, I do! I have plenty!

    It’s part of living in the flow of Your life’s energy;

    To follow the ebb and flow of that, or seasons and different phases (that are unique to Your flow), the action/no action cycles/phases etc, rather than following societies rules about when you should ‘work’ or do things and when to not, or what other people do/live their life, and so on and so forth.

    There’s a current in the ocean of consciousness that is uniquely yours, and you’re suppose to follow that and that alone, so you’re becoming aware of that now and that’s really great!

    Here’s some articles that came to mind that can be helpful and that you might like (there’s a few of them so I just post them in no certain order).

    They can relate to different aspects of the process of transformation, evolving, manifesting, and awakening, depending on where you’re at in your own life:

    Enjoy the read! 😅

  47. Tom

    Fantastic! That should keep me busy until next year haha!!

    Really appreciate that and look forward to diving into them…

    Yes! I’ve predominantly lived trying to impose my own schedule on life but the more I focus on the truth/divinity/knowing the more I realise there are times I’m meant to be sitting around in my underpants chilling with a pizza!

    Then back into inspiration and action again…


  48. Exactly! That’s the way it is 😊

    So in the process of actually living like this, there’s a lot of fears, doubts etc that you have to work through (see through and release) simply because of the fact that we have been programmed to function in a way that is not natural to us.

    And then when you get in alignment with Your flow more and more, then you also find peace in whatever phase you’re in, knowing that it’s all part of the process and that there is nothing to worry about (you learn to trust the timing of the universe).

    When you’re free from the beliefs and programs, then you can enjoy all phases of the process of creating and manifesting, and just live your life in the most joyful way without worrying what other people do or what the world expects and wants from you (or what the ego/limited self wants you to believe/do).

    So really enjoy the quiet phases as much as you enjoy the phases of action and doing, and when you do, and you trust the flow of Your life, then the pizza tastes so much better too! 🍕😄

  49. Tom

    Roger that!

    Thanks for clarification…

    I’ve found that I am inspired and pulled to do something eg. endurance training and the limited mind still has a tendency to build narrative around/identify with the activity eg. Wow, I’m an endurance athlete now!

    However I am learning that each activity inspired from truth/knowing/divinity has a reason that I couldn’t comprehend before doing it.

    In the instance of endurance training I learnt things about the body/mind connection relating to the idea of pain/fatigue/letting go of time and complete presence that I couldn’t have learnt any other way…

    Absolutely astounding what was possible! but when the training/inspiration/phase came to an end and there was a shift in energy I attempted to force the momentum to continue.

    Eventually the penny dropped, and I can now see that what was learnt was learnt, chill time then on to the next phase with more trust…

  50. Yes, and sometimes the disentangling process has to do with perceived deadlines and false ideas of having to produce all the time “..or else”.

    I had to learn this the hard way with my work, especially with my writing.

    There were many times in the past (when I lived in Norway and lived on welfare) when I didn’t have any inspiration at all to write, but desperately wanted to because I wanted to ‘produce’, thinking that it would help me get out of the situation I was in (so I wanted to constantly be posting online etc etc).

    But whatever I did to try to claw myself out of it, I just couldn’t change my situation;

    Everything I tried to do from the place of pushing and striving, it just didn’t ‘work’, and the awareness of this grew the more I pushed and struggled, and that’s how I learned about surrender and letting go, and about the process of co-creating.

    It was at times really hard, because I (or the limited self) thought that “if I don’t do something, I will be stuck here forever”, whereas Life/God was teaching me Its timetable, and I had to learn how to trust, have faith, learning about patience, and humility/humbleness, surrender, and so much more!

    It was part of the process of me learning to trust the ebb and flow of my life’s flow and stay put until Life moved through me, and for me.

    And having a ‘doer’ personality like I have didn’t make the process easier lol!

    I experienced so much frustration in the process until I finally learned, so much inner turmoil and feelings of hopelessness etc, but that was the way I had to learn.

    And it all served its purpose on other levels than only my own as well as I’m now able to teach it to others so that they don’t have to learn it the hard way and struggle like I did.

    Many times people struggle with trust when it comes to financial matters as well (and this is huge for many, as it was for me) where perhaps you have to pay rent and you don’t have any money and can’t see a way to get it either, and no matter what you ‘do’, nothing is working (because you come from a place of fear rather than trust and flow).

    So there’s a lot of things people struggle with before they learn that ‘I can actually trust my flow, and I’m always supported when I do’, and it is the truth, and when we finally come into a place of absolute trust and alignment with Truth, that’s when all kinds of magic and miracles start to happen!

    And then of course, the more That happens, the more you then learn to go with the right flow, and not with the flow of the ego, or the limited self.

    Here’s a few other articles that came to mind:

  51. Tom

    I can really empathise with that as it is almost identical to my efforts to try and escape my current living situation…

    Very similar with the ‘I have to get out of here, I will be stuck forever’ and then suffering with the addition of ‘I am letting my daughter down’ ‘I am forty and living at my parents house’ etc etc…

    Although not ideal and I would prefer my own place now my daughter is very happy here, we have a lot of fun and I don’t give a f&#K what anyone thinks about me being forty and being here now but it took a while to let go of that one…

    Thank you for sharing your experiences as it is giving me further confidence that continuing to trust is the only way – I am a doer by nature too and not doing was extraordinarily painful for me to begin with until I addressed the underlying reasons…

    And thanks very much for the additional reading, loads to look at!

  52. Yes, just keep moving forwards Tom, – I know that all this will lead you to a beautiful and fulfilling life that those who judge you can never have or experience.

    You’re doing your best and that’s all that counts, and in the process you’re learning valuable, life-changing things that will elevate your life on so many levels that you can’t even imagine right now!

    It’s also good to remind yourself of the fact that you might not be where you want to be yet (having your own place etc), but you’re also no longer where you used to be either.

    Life is taking you to a really great life, and as you keep trusting the flow, you will soon start to see all the amazing things that happens when you do that (and you’re already seeing that).

    Even if the living situation is not ideal, attitude is everything, and you have a good one.

    I remember at one point in my life I even lived in a caravan/trailer (“husvagn” in Swedish) in the middle of the woods with my two cats, and while there, I was in a state of bliss most of the time, feeling incredibly grateful to have roof over my head,

    and then suddenly something happened, completely out of the blue, that allowed me to move into my own place, so things can happen very quickly and suddenly, sometimes even overnight, when we least expect it!

  53. Tom

    Thanks very much Maria, you’re so right!

    Very easy to forget what life was like previously as growth has occurred so incrementally (albeit continuously) over so many years! I’m truly grateful to have been able to learn so much in such intricate detail.

    I also have a roof over my head, I have warmth, I have food, I have the forest – the list is endless and I am able to have illuminating conversations with yours truly…I am very fortunate in fact!

    It’s easy to lose gratitude for what I have already got – I’m going to enjoy my remaining time here!

  54. You’re so very very welcome Tom, glad I could be of help 😊 And please keep us updated on how things unfold/go!

  55. Tom

    Thanks Maria, I’d like to share this one if I can as I realised/was shown how far I had come this morning…

    Out of the blue my daughter asked me before school this morning ‘What do you think I will be like when I’m older Daddy?’

    And the response came so calmly without any thought ‘You’ll be perfect, how could you be anything else?’

    That to me is worth the five or so years of untangling I’ve experienced…

  56. Tom

    Not this morning!

    She laughed, whacked me in the belly and ran off…


  57. I would ask her what she thinks, so that she learns that she doesn’t need answers and validations from others, and I would also to empower her by telling her that she can become whatever she wants.

    Of course it’s important to listen to others too, and allow others to guide and teach us things, but it’s so important especially with girls that they are empowered to be all that they can be.

    I’m sure you teach her these things, I’m just mentioning it because I felt like saying it.

  58. Tom

    Roger that!

    Really appreciate your perspective and couldn’t agree more…

  59. I’m glad to hear that.

    And I don’t know; the word ‘perfect’ might plant some subconscious expectations into her mind too.

    I think it’s important for children to learn (and hear) that it’s okay to fail and to make mistakes and to not always be perfect.

    And again; I’m sure you agree! These things just came to mind so I wanted to share.

  60. You probably meant that she’s perfect just the way she is, and if she understood that, then that’s wonderful. 😊

  61. Tom

    Completely agree again!

    Perfect can be misconstrued as having to behave or be or do things in a certain way though…

    That isn’t the meaning between us!

  62. Tom

    Just seen your other post, thats exactly what it means between us!

    She’s free to express herself fully whilst with me, Maria!

    I’m very passionate about this because of my childhood experiences

  63. Tom

    haha, we’re crossing over – we’re both very passionate about it!

    On the same page here

  64. Tom

    This conversation was an absolute game changer!

    We both know nothing happens by accident and this convo caused me to no longer deny what is most meaningful to me in my heart!

    I know what I have/want to do.

    No idea where to start (yet) I will though!

  65. Tom

    Morning Maria…I’ve been going through a weird phase!

    That message above was an example of me identifying with an idea of what I liked/should be doing and after a short period of time the energy behind it dissolved!

    This has happened over and over again where I’m certain what I am doing is true to me then very shortly after I’m left feeling like a kipper and seeing that the idea was limited and not truth at all!

    I’ve been all over the place trying different things that I had believed I enjoyed, a great example is bodybuilding – which I have done it for almost 10 years – I don’t enjoy it at all! was only doing it to look good for the chica’s and that was absolutely exhausting hahaha!

    I have discovered there were layers of false preferences and at each layer the things I was doing were all for purposes that weren’t joy or love of the activity..

    This was pretty much broken down into the following;

    A layer where all activity was done to impress others (ego/limited self)
    A layer where all activity was done to earn money (rational mind)
    And then finally the layer I am now realising (I hope) is truth is activities that I genuinely love!!

    Through this process I have rediscovered my love of fashion, calisthenics, writing, art, jewellery, watches, luxury, humour, brand creation, playfulness, cardio and HIIT, swimming, nature, comedy amongst many other things!

    I am completing my forms for a diploma in goldsmithing today and can’t wait to be around other creative people and in the city again!

    Reading one of your articles about refusing anything other than my truth and asking the divine part of me to reveal only my truth caused me to start unravelling and I was shit scared because I had to admit I had no idea who I was or what I liked!!

    (I can’t remember the link to which one but the article was fantastic)

    But having the courage to let go/realise the things I thought I loved were a load of bollocks has allowed me to start exploring what I truly love again…the hard part for me is focussing on things I genuinely enjoy without giving in to the fear of having very limited money!

    This is a complete paradigm shift as I have spent the last few years focussed entirely on doing things to make money (as I have had very little) which has failed to work over and over again.

    I’ve been all over the shop whilst this has unravelled trying things and realising very quickly that I don’t enjoy the activity or as I say the energy behind it dissipates so my focus has moved to just doing things because I love them…Seems so simple that I feel an absolute wally for spending so long (my life) doing anything different!!

    No idea what will happen now and still wonder if there is even deeper to go into my truth than this?

    A part of me argues that these are selfish desires and there is a concept of being of service that comes up but aren’t we being of service to the world living fully with joy?

    Love to hear any perspectives you have…

  66. Hi Tom,

    Yes, I could tell, and it’s perfectly okay (it’s part of the process).

    Congrats to completing the goldsmith course/education today, that’s wonderful!

    Regarding the article you mentioned; I don’t know which one that could have been, but here’s a page with all my articles in one place, maybe you remember it if you look there:

    It’s good that you try different things, that’s how we find out if they are for us or not!

    Many people are afraid of making mistakes so they never allow themselves to explore, or they just overthink things and never get off the couch so to speak.

    Here’s some articles that you might like:

    And here:

    And lastly, I really recommend this too:

    There’s a part 2/2 too with 22 additional questions, which you can find here:

  67. Tom

    Thanks Maria, love the trying new things article:

    There’s really no way I could know what gold smithing (as one example) will be like but I am drawn to it and can only find out through going and trying it…my life feels open and light when I make steps in that direction so I’m going with it

    These were the two articles that really got me observing what I was doing/liked:

    This is where I bottled it as found it very uncomfortable not to know what I liked any more, I thought I had released most of my limited self but once again I was amazed by what I was still unaware of. I have also noticed that fear dissolves when I’m being true to myself/in alignment with what is true for me…

    The second one got me to be relentless in refusing anything but truth:

    Life changing articles again…thank you so much for those!

  68. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    Really emotional night/morning…

    Keep asking for more truth to be revealed to me and woke up in the early hours with the realisation that I have caused a lot of suffering whilst living out of truth/divinity…

    Do you have any articles relating to this?

  69. Hm,.. The only thing I can think of right now that would be helpful has to do with forgiveness.

    We have all done things in the past that makes us cringe or feel embarrassed/bad about, but we have to forgive ourselves and the whole situation and all the people involved, and then move on with our lives.

    It’s one of the most important things we can do; to forgive, – ourselves included.

    Here’s a link with articles that can be helpful to you:

    If it has to do with things from your younger years, childhood etc, or even more recent things that feels really big, then I recommend the forgiveness exercise I describe in the PDF called “The Power of Forgiveness and Acceptance” which you can see when clicking on the link to the articles.

    You can find the exercise in the middle of the PDF somewhere, and it’s very powerful and something I always share with people who need to release things and forgive something.

    Otherwise there’s another article too that can be helpful to you where you can do an energy cleansing process that also includes an element of forgiveness:

    I think this one is probably suited for more recent things where you’ve taken on other people’s energies, or where you’re stuck in negative energies that you want to get rid of.

  70. Tom

    Morning Maria, beautiful weather here…

    No, it was the realisation that I had added to the unnecessary suffering for forty years whilst identified with anything less than divinity/truth and living inauthentically.

    I just had to ride it out, was fairly painful. I am already very good at forgiving myself for past events and compassionate towards my mistakes but this was a big purge, it felt as though my body was on fire for most of the night.

    I had forgiven others for all my hurt a long time ago but hadn’t pointed the finger backwards so to speak it seemed.

    It was a big breakthrough in fact and had been holding me back as I seem to have expanded to a new level of understanding now which is no longer shifting between the rational mind and the emotional mind but ecompasses them both.

    I can clearly see that even though my actions may have caused suffering at each level of my understanding through my life my intent was always good and I can see that this is true for everyone else now too – that everyone is just doing their best at their current level of understanding.

    That is beautiful.

  71. Exactly; we all operate from different levels of consciousness, and when this is seen/realized, then it’s also easier to be more compassionate and understanding.

  72. Tom


    Thanks Maria, you’ve been such an empowering role model for me!!

    Not sure what I’m going to do now, all those desires/likes have dropped off and I’m filled with a desire to empower others too…

    Have a fantastic day

  73. You’re so very very welcome Tom, glad I could be of help, and thank you too, it’s always nice to receive appreciation. 😊

    All the best!

  74. Tom

    Thanks Maria, plenty to have a read through there…

    It’s an odd phase as I love life – It doesn’t really matter what I’m doing if I undertake the activity from truth/divinity but then there is a quiet period where everything is done and I’m really bad at relaxing/doing nothing, especially when money is so short!! (I think we may have discussed this)

    Then ego comes up with all these great ideas of what to do and off I go, falling for the fantasy.

    Slowly learning!

    I have become genuinely grateful for my situation though thanks to an earlier conversation we had and just really enjoyed cleaning the house whilst blessing all the rooms with my henry hoover haha!

  75. It’s liberating, isn’t it! And now, God can come in and do what only God (universe/Divine etc) can do, without the anxious and tense little ego self being in the way. 😊 Fabulous way to live!

  76. PS: And if it shows up again and starts to bother you, here’s a mantra that will be helpful to you:

    And here’s an exercise from one of my articles that you can do as well; copied and pasted it here for you:

    Become aware of how your mind always wanders from the present moment and what the stories are that creates the worry.

    Whatever the mind comes up with you don’t have to believe it.

    The stories the mind makes up has no validity in your present life experience unless you choose to believe them.

    I invite you to physically touch something right now, for example the table where you’re sitting reading this, or the ground beneath you, touch it with your hands.

    Touch it and say to yourself that “this, what is right now, is all there is”.

    This will help you detach from your mind and become anchored in your body.

    Close your eyes and feel the power of the present moment, which is completely unruffled and not affected at all by your inner drama and turmoil.

    Nothing is actually happening but right now, and whatever you’re feeling is not you, it’s a story in your head that you’ve unconsciously believed in up until now.

    You can now choose to release those stories by taking yourself and your mind back to the present moment and stay with it for a moment.

    Just close your eyes and be fully in this moment, without the stories.

    Stay in the moment even if your mind wants to wander or wants to get your attention and say “this is what actually IS. There’s nothing else going on but this, this moment right now”.

    When you do this, then whatever you’re worried about or stressing about will lessen its grip on you and you will feel a sense of peace coming over you.

    And then, from this more peaceful state of mind you will be able to handle whatever it is that you need to handle without feeling anxiety or stress about it.

    The present moment is all we have, and when you get worried or fearful you become lost (in your mind) — and it’s all happening in the movement of thought!

    Worry is just a thought that creates stories in your mind that are not true, and when you see this clearly you’re able to bring your awareness back to this very moment, which is where life really is, and that’s when you find the peace that is always present and available to you.

  77. Tom

    Very liberating! had an enjoyable evening having some food and watching some documentaries…

    That exercise is really powerful – From truth I am joyful here and that is made to seem audacious because of my ego’s and societies standards. I have been getting hooked into the narrative that I shouldn’t be – which I know is a load of rubbish but has pulled me into taking limited action and running around like a headless chicken – rejecting life and stepping out of truth and therefore gratitude/joy which are natural/inherent when I am in alignment.

    I can also clearly see now that my divine life is right under my nose and I can choose it, how could I create a life from my limited mind that is better than the one that is divinely intended! I am living it – writing this and sharing with you is it, and is very enjoyable…and from here I also know life has my back – I am both co-creating it and experiencing it simultaneously.

    Your gratitude article also confirmed/helped me see that my life is currently arranged in such a manner to challenge me to be joyful/grateful – offering my ego millions of reasons not to be. Almost like a test ‘Well, if you can be grateful for this then just wait for what I have in store’

    Going along with my ego’s million plans ‘to get out of here’ has been exhausting but I have needed to go through the motion so to speak to realise all of the plans from there are completely fruitless…

  78. Tom

    Just to add – It is very emotional to realise I can just relax.

    I haven’t seemed to have stopped to breathe and look around for the last five years.

    Also, fascinatingly the snippet of a dream I remember from last night – I was riding around a city on my bicycle and I got a flat tyre, got off the bike and discovered this incredible palace which I would have missed had I not slowed down.

    The message was clear there wasn’t it.

  79. Glad to hear you’re back in the stream of Truth now Tom. 😊👍

    Hope you have a great day ahead of you, – Here everything is orange, we have the sand from Sahara flying (raining) over Andalucia at the moment! (It’s called “Calima”)

  80. Tom

    Thanks very much Maria – Riding the wave…have an awesome day in the costa del sahara!

  81. Tom

    Holy shit! Had to come back to update…there’s so much creative energy/god flowing through me!!

  82. Tom

    So good to be back at full divinity with the boss at the wheel!

    I can speak honestly again now haha! I got triggered by our conversation and it was really crucial as I realised I was an incapable parent for years whilst living out of alignment even if I had the best intention and that was fucking painful!

    Had to accept this, forgive myself and am grateful that I have a much greater level of awareness now…I’m flawed in every way but divinity does the job through me and I have to say doing a much better job than I ever did haha!

    Thanks for your patience and guiding me back to base and thanks for showing me that part of me that was tucked away too!

  83. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    Feel guided to update…I’m right back to where I started five years ago before all this started.

    Everything in my external life is still here including one of my companies, my life was fantastic (and is now) I was unable to see it…

    I have such a profound appreciation for my life and talents again which has grown from practicing gratitude as per your article…

    I am very fortunate, I have even just enjoyed sorting my VAT and hmrc account!

  84. Tom

    Thanks Maria, hope the sand has cleared now by the way…

    Once I made the decision to keep growing as opposed to chasing personal happiness, everything has fallen into place.

    I was operating in opposition to truth, knowing I am every one and every thing but trying to live a self serving life like a child.

    From my perspective now freedom from ego comes with a responsibility and that is to honour our limitless potential to grow. Life (divinity) gives us everything (people/experiences/places) for that growth once we make that decision and commit to it.

    This recent wobble/contrast/re-identification with ego was necessary to gain absolute clarity on this without any remaining doubt.

    I really want to say thank you again for the space/patience to be able to share all this with you and apologies for my annoying ego antics along the way…

    Have an awesome day.

  85. Hi Tom,

    It has, but everything is brown and ugly, so there’s a lot of cleaning and washing to do for everyone, and new paint on the houses etc.

    I think I also heard that there might be more calima coming again on Monday-Tuesday, but we’ll see, I think it’s quite unpredictable when it happens.

    About the other things you wrote;

    It’s also important to honor the human side of you too though, and not make life all ‘spiritual’.

    Throw the small self a bone every now and then LOL!

    It’s important to allow yourself to be human too. Alignment is about embracing all aspects of yourself and the fullness of who you are (the whole Truth, not just the spiritual aspects of it).

    And I’m not annoyed by anything you share and wrote, so feel very welcome to continue the convo!

  86. Tom

    Big clean up job…I was curious so looked at some photos and it is quite extraordinary!

    Yes – What is ‘spiritual’? – that word has so much baggage around it these days – conjures up images of being sat in white robes in a praying position ommmmming all day!

    For me everything is spiritual, the same as art – life is art – everything is creativity – everything is spiritual. It’s a word that has been/is conceptualised by the ego.

    We are human expressions of divinity with limitless potential for growth – what does that mean?

    That we are both perfect and flawed in every way imaginable but we have the opportunity to grow every day if we don’t resist!

    From my perspective growth is the core commonality of the human experience which I managed to successfully avoid for forty years – I used every tool available to me haha (alcohol, drugs, meds, exercise, chica’s) and suffered the consequences! But there is a reason why my life unfolded in this way so I was able to learn things things that aren’t currently common knowledge…

    Not absolutely certain of the reason yet although there is a sense of where things are heading!

  87. Spirituality to me is simply about my relationship with myself and that which I call “God”, or the universe, that’s it.

    And by relationship with myself I mean the whole of me, warts and all (which is not a big deal to me at all, I’ve never aspired to be a perfect human being!).

    I really don’t have any conflicts with myself anymore, all I’m interested in is to live my life and enjoy it. I think age has something to do with it too.

    I’m 50 next year so I really don’t have time to live my life in any other way than the way I want to live it.

    I’m also not a fan of the word “spiritual” and I don’t like being associated with it to be honest, it has so many limiting beliefs connected to it that it’s just repulsive.

    I’ve written some articles on this in the past:

    Some of the articles are very old and I’ve grown a lot since I wrote them, but you get my point.

    Many “spiritual people” (for lack of a better word) are many times full of all kinds of limiting beliefs about how you should be and behave and even talk and I have never liked that as you can see! LOL

    The more free you can be just being yourself, the happier you are, that’s my take on life, but of course it’s not an easy thing to do, and that’s the work too, to free yourself from the opinions of others and what other people ‘think’ being ‘spiritual’ means.

    And yes, everything serves our growth and awakening, even doing things that are not healthy (in whatever way that may be) and then regretting it!

    More articles that came to mind:

  88. Tom

    You’re still a spring chicken, I’m not far behind you!

    Thanks for sharing your perspective, you always make me contemplate…I’m not referring to growth as a human bean or achieving or behaving better or self improvement, I’m talking about learning about myself through the other 8 billion perspectives and growing in objectivity…

    It’s decided, spiritual is a duff word!

  89. “human bean” LOL! Thanks for the laugh 😂

    Evolving, that’s what I’m talking about. Always going higher in life and becoming more of who I am. 😊

  90. Tom

    Can I ask you some more questions please? loads have come to me haha!

    Could you try and describe what that evolution looks like to you in practical terms? is it any of these things – a wider lens – less subjectivity – less beliefs – less concepts – curiosity – more calm – more joy – more peace – more acceptance – more expanded – less resistance? Do you expand to include every thing and every one as you? Is the evolution limitless?

    Does your evolution require any individual effort or is it as natural as a flower grows, life does the work and only resistance can stop it?

    What does higher look like – more expanded or something else?

  91. Tom

    You’ve really made me contemplate the individual effort involved in growth vs natural evolution…

  92. What evolution, or evolving, looks like to me in practical terms;

    Listening to my intuition, paying attention to my higher self’s guidance, trusting my gut, going towards/moving in the direction of, and doing things that makes me happy or sparks my interest or passion, exploring life, not being rigid about anything/no ‘rules’, constantly talking with God about everything (in a joyful way that is full of gratitude),

    and when challenges come (as they will for as long as we are on this earth as they are part of being a human being, or having a human experience), deal with them head-on from a place of trust and inner peace,

    being compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes, focus on the Now and where you want to go (future vision), coming into a place within yourself when you’re in charge of your mind, emotions and consciousness,

    following the flow of your own life’s energy, trusting it and taking things as far as you can for then to let go and let God do the rest.

    I really don’t think of things like the way you described it when you wrote “more peace, more calm, more etc etc”. I already are/am those things so I don’t feel the need to ‘acquire’ anything in that sense,

    It’s more about paying attention to how I feel, and if I feel anything less than what I’m meant to feel in every moment (which is good and ‘right’, for me), then I check my beliefs and release the ones that are in the way for me to experience those more high vibrational feelings and emotions.

    But at this point it’s a natural thing really, and not something I look for or work ‘towards’ if that makes sense. It’s what and who I am.

    I’m always interested in expansion and growing, but life kind of takes care of that for you.

    I’m not a seeker or someone who looks for myself or anything outside of myself; I know who and what I am and yes, the evolution and expansion is limitless.

    I’m in the process right now to manifest some new aspects of myself that is just about to being born and I’m very excited about that for example.

    So I pursue it, I do what I’m guided to do, I learn new things, I take actions; all the action I can, simply because it makes sense to do that if it’s something that you’re interested in. You wouldn’t do anything unless you were interested in it,

    OR; you don’t take action because of some limiting beliefs that holds you in place in your old level of consciousness and you’re not doing anything about it.

    So of course there is individual effort; it’s a dance between me and Life, where Life gets to flow through me, as me, and where I get to follow its flow and experience more of the infinite being that I am.

    So yes, Life does its work through me, but of course sometimes there’s a learning curve in things that only you can do as a human being.

    “God” can’t do the things you are required (or guided) to do, and ‘you’ can’t do the things that only God can do. It’s a co-creative process.

    Every moment is new, and you can go in any direction of your choosing; it’s up to you. It’s all consciousness and different levels of consciousness and vibration.

    I could speak about this forever, but I think I’ll stop here. 😄

    In short; just be happy and live your life the way that you want to live it, according to your own divine guidance; follow the flow of your own life’s energy and let yourself be guided by the higher power who knows the exact way to your best and most beautiful life.

    Life unfolds from within, from our own consciousness (which we are in charge of), and at the same time there is a power within you that knows everything and which you can rely on 100%, and it is ready and able to enlarge your life to the same degree that you are able to increase your self-awareness and expand your consciousness. That’s basically it.

    We are always manifesting a life, a reality, and we are always in the momentum of something, so by becoming aware of those things and by having a clear intention with what you really want, things can only unfold in a way that ultimately always empowers you and makes you feel at home within yourself.

  93. I think I forgot to say something about resistance;

    Resistance comes from us going against our true self, our inner truth, or when we don’t trust the guidance we receive and when we don’t take action in the direction that we are shown to go.

    The pain we feel in life always comes from this; from us going and working against ourselves because we distrust the divine guidance, or we feel that we are not being able to be fully ourselves etc.

    Ego resistance is a thing of its own, and something I have written about a lot on the website, but that too is basically all about increasing our self-awareness and by knowing who we are not, we also come to know who and what we really are.

    You might like this post:

    And this one:

  94. Tom

    haha…don’t stop on my account, I love reading/listening!

    Loads to think about there…

    For me I’ve found that being in alignment can be very messy and some of my biggest breakthroughs have been when I’ve trusted myself enough to do the absurd.

    Not sure how responsible it would be to write about how I overcame alcohol ‘addiction’ but refused to live with the label of alcoholic and letting go of it for me involved guilt free indulgence…and the same with cigarettes for that matter.

    I forget this though and start resisting again, its so simple when I’m there – then bammm one little choice or regret or belief that a mistake has been made and I’m off out in the trenches again!

    Learning as I go and as you say be brave enough to be my divine/true Self.

    One thing I have noticed is that when I’m fully in alignment and really joyous some people that know me are repelled by that joy, can’t be in the same room as me…

    Really grateful to hear that permanently flowing with divinity/life is possible and hopefully where I am heading too!

  95. Hi Tom,

    Good morning ☀️

    Did you mean to write that you find alignment to be “messy”?

    How so? I can’t imagine how that could be messy in any way shape or form. It’s the most beautiful thing ever.

    About your alcohol addiction (or addictive behavior?);

    I know it’s common for people to call themselves alcoholics for the rest of their life even after they have managed to overcome their addiction.

    I’ve been drug-free for twenty years now, but I would never go around calling myself a drug-addict, but maybe it’s different with alcohol, I don’t know.

    I mean if it helps you (or anyone reading this) to have the label of being an alcoholic even after you’ve quit then of course use it.

    But it’s a weird thing to say in a way; I mean, you don’t go around calling yourself a smoker anymore either if you no longer smoke, do you?


    I had to quit too (due to menopause and hormonal changes), but have had times when I fell back again, and each time I felt awful and sometimes embarrassed too, but that’s what alcohol does, that’s the kind of ‘drug’ it is, plus the fact that it’s a depressant so that adds to the yuckiness too.

    Since my menopause years my relationship with alcohol has changed and I just can’t handle it anymore.

    I’ve read that many women are in the risk of developing alcoholism in their menopause years, and the reason (or one of them, I’m no expert in this) for this is that as the estrogen levels start do decrease, the body starts to ‘crave’ things that raises the estrogen levels again, and alcohol does that (but not only alcohol, there are healthier ways to increase estrogen too).

    But the thing is, that it raises the wrong kind of estrogen in the body, not the good types.

    There’s three different kinds of estrogen, and only one of them are of the good kind (and the other ones that for example comes from alcohol is harmful for the body and increases the risk of getting breast cancer etc).

    But as I said; I’m not an expert in any of this but I’ve done some research into this of course when I started to notice that my relationship with alcohol was changing.

    So I decided to quit, but have gone back to it every now and then, and each time afterwards I quit again because it just makes me feel awful.

    I think the most important thing is to just keep recommitting to sobriety and not be kicking yourself for it.

    You just have to get up, dust yourself off, and then move on and give it another go, and this goes for everyone, alcoholic or not, and with whatever addictions or addictive/unhealthy behaviors we have;

    You just have to forgive yourself and start anew.

    If that’s what you meant when you wrote:

    “I forget this though and start resisting again, its so simple when I’m there – then bammm one little choice or regret or belief that a mistake has been made and I’m off out in the trenches again!”

    Thank you for sharing this Tom, it’s always good to talk about these things, that way others can benefit from it too, and that then also helps others to feel less shameful about it.

    Here’s a very old article where I wrote about alcohol myself:

    Moving on;

    Yes, I know what you mean by what you wrote about you being in your best vibe and people around you not ‘liking’ it.

    I experience this too, have all my life basically, as I have always been a person who thinks differently than others and oftentimes have opinions and viewpoints that differs from others.

    It’s even more challenging now when there’s such a huge divide in the world, with the corona-virus vaccine and all the other stuff that goes around in the world, and people not being evolved enough to allow other people to be who they are and make their own choices.

    Some people can’t take it that you make choices that are in alignment with you and your intuition, it aggravates them and makes them angry even.

    I’ve even had people getting angry because I was able to be peaceful when I was homeless!

    I shared an episode I had with some people in this article:

    And lastly, to respond to your last sentence;

    It’s not a place ‘out there’ in the future; it’s Now, and Now, and Now.

    Always only Now, and then the moments add up and becomes your life.

    We are always in alignment with something, and every moment can be a new beginning, a new fresh start,

    so you don’t have to wait and hope that you one day can live in alignment with Life; you can do so Now, and Now, and Now…

    Always Right Now. 😊

  96. Tom

    Haha, morning Maria…I’ve read my message back and realised I wasn’t very concise!

    By messy I was speaking about some of my biggest breakthroughs occurred when I followed the guidance, however absurd it seemed to me at the time and allowed myself to do things that seemed utterly counter intuitive/unhealthy at the time!

    Being in alignment wasn’t messy but I had to allow myself fall apart, particularly as I used to operate with a very perfectionistic mind set.

    I was attempting to use alcohol as a single example of this, as I mentioned, not sure how responsible it is to talk about it as what was true for me may not be for others but in my case to let go of my attachment to alcohol I had to follow guidance and allow myself to indulge completely guilt free which was terrifying for me as I had done everything in my power to resist drinking through willpower.

    This happened a long time ago now and I am able to take or leave alcohol, it is just a choice – I am able to enjoy an ice cold shandy in the sunshine which I would not have been able to do had I chosen to identify with a label and not followed the guidance…

    I want to repeat this was an overnight release of a twenty year attachment to a very toxic coping mechanism but what worked for me doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for someone else!!

    The same was true when the doctors tried to prescribe me more meds and tried to label me with bipolar after I came off an antidepressant almost six years ago, saying I would need to spend my life on more meds – including lithium.

    I thought fuck that no chance I’m identifying with that and after exhausting every ounce of willpower to try and solve my symptoms I eventually allowed myself to break down (naked in the bath!!) and come undone and then god (as I knew god then) showed me the solution – which turned out to be an incredible modality by Dr Richard Schwartz called internal family systems.

    Once again, over night I was changed – it literally happened that quickly. It is irresponsible of me to say this would be true for everyone and my advice would be to speak to a doctor about your symptoms but I didn’t need any medication and have been symptom free since.

    Haha, there are several challenging people in my life that are furious and can’t comprehend when I am joyous with my current life situation…sure sign we’re doing something right if there is resistance to our joy and peace!

    I absolutely agree, it is now, I know it is now, yet I’m still being shown the parts of me that are stopping me being there permanently, and I also know it is a choice but some of these things are being shown to me so clearly in what seems like a process so that I know them without any doubt…

    During the first for years I was desperate for a Wam Bam thank you – back to truth with no messing about but now I am grateful of being able to learn about the process so intricately…perhaps I will be able to help others too when the timing is right!

  97. Tom

    Just to add Maria, tea is my vice (it isn’t a vice, I’m being silly) of choice these days – absolute animal haha! sometimes I have one cup too many and have a slightly restless night but love a cup of tea, delicious!

  98. Tom

    I forgot to respond to your excellent point on coronavirus – navigating that was very simple for me, I refused to entertain a conversation with anyone that was either completely pro or anti-vaccination.

  99. Yes, that’s what happens when you flow with Life and your intuition,

    Sometimes you’re guided to do something that you think has nothing to do with anything, and then some magical stuff happens such as synchronistic meetings with someone etc etc = the exact next thing that you needed,

    And hadn’t you followed the lead of the divine, even if it seemed irrelevant or ‘weird’, then you would have ‘missed’ the opportunity.

    So breakthroughs comes many times when we least expect it, or from/via/through things we couldn’t have predicted or even imagined beforehand.

    Ah, I see what you mean with the alcohol thing;

    Yes, it’s very common that once you give yourself ‘permission’ to do something, then it’s not fun for the ego anymore haha!

    And no worries at all; you’re just sharing your experience with alcohol and what worked for you!

    Alcohol makes me feel like crap the day after (even hours after) so it’s not worth it for me.

    And that’s funny, with the doctors trying to prescribe you meds; the same thing happened to me too when I was getting clean from drugs.

    They said that if I don’t take them then I would never be able to be happy again unless I took the meds because my ‘brain was so damaged from all the drugs’.

    I too told them No, and healed myself completely (with help from others/rehab center) and got off all the many medications I was on at the time.

    I’m so glad to hear that you too got the help you needed that was actually helpful, and that you were able to recover from the issues you had.

    And not only that; but that’s a very powerful demonstration of the miracle of surrendering to God/the divine.

    About vices; mine is coffee I guess. ☕ I’m keeping it at a low level consumption though (my body can’t handle much caffeine either anymore) and even take breaks from it every now and then, so it’s all good.

    Regarding the corona virus and vaccine conversation; I don’t get into any deeper discussions about it either.

    I was at a dinner last week with a couple of people and they got upset/angry and the conversation was heading in the wrong direction (from their side) so we decided to not talk about it anymore.

    But they wanted to make clear to me that I was ‘uneducated’ and I could feel the judging vibe, but I just zipped my lip basically. It’s not worth it when people are close-minded like that.

    I don’t talk about it with my family either (much). They know what I think but we don’t go into any deeper discussions about it and that’s perfectly okay with me, I wouldn’t want that either.

    It is what it is and I don’t feel it’s my fight to fight, so I choose my battles on that one too!

    And it’s not even a “battle”; I just think that people should do what their intuition tells them to do (which can be either way), and that everyone should be free to make their own health choices, that’s it.

    I talked to all kinds of people when I did my research though, even hardcore conspiracy theorists, because I wanted to get a wider perceptive and awareness and hear opinions and thoughts from different point of views.

    It was actually really good conversations, when everyone just lets everyone else be and have their own opinions and thoughts without judgment and opposition.

  100. Tom

    Thats all we can do, take a scientific approach and formulate a decision based on that and intuition…

    Certain members of my family (tried) to have a huge row with me – I know their behaviour came from a place of fear/concern but it was unacceptable. In fact thinking about it, that was the first time I announced to them that I was listening to what god/heart/intuition was telling me and they should too so it was quite a pivotal moment!

    I had given up all hope that day in the bath, covered in bubbles, naked and sobbing haha! I’d accepted I was going back to the doctors the next day and got into bed, had a look on youtube and the first video that came up was titled ‘the truth about bipolar’. The guy who made it, Peter Gerlach had sadly died not long before I discovered him and I was unable to thank him for potentially saving my life!

    Not long after that – just to keep things a bit interesting was when Mum got diagnosed with terminal cancer and the week after that my daughter got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, it was an absolutely crazy time – life just battered me into submission!!

    So weird thinking about it all now! Hard to believe…

    Well done for letting go of the drugs and not listening/giving in to more meds, I’ll raise a cup of tea to that!!

  101. I’m so glad that Life sent you the video just when you needed it, and I’m sure that the guy who made it received your gratitude for it even if he’s no longer with us here.

    Sometimes ‘everything’ happens all at once like it did with you, it can be very intense. Is your mom and daughter okay (back to health) now? (As even terminal cancer can be reversed)

  102. Tom

    Really intense!

    Mum died three years ago, she was ill for almost twenty years on and off – had breast cancer twice, double mastectomy, an atrial valve replacement then a heart attack then a debilitating stroke and then terminal oesophageal cancer…

    My daughter is doing really well, very healthy!

  103. Omg, Tom, I’m so sorry, that must have been so hard for you and your family to see and go through. Glad to hear your daughter is doing well and is healthy, that’s wonderful. 😊👍

  104. Tom

    Traumatic but taught me so much about life!!

    Incredibly sad at the end but there were also some wonderful experiences in the hospice…

    Mum never recovered from her childhood, her mother died of breast cancer and then her father committed suicide when she was four or five…I only realised the effect that must of had on her after recovering form my own childhood – too late! must have been terrible at such a young age – her heart was closed/broken.

  105. Tom

    Thanks Maria, absolutely love the article…Momento mori!!

  106. Tom

    Woken up with an even greater desire to live today after our chat yesterday! I get a bit overhwelmed like a kid in a sweet shop that wants to try everything but I’m going with that for now…I have remembered I use to be less about what what I was doing and more about what I can bring to the table – humour, fun, playfulness and joy!

    Something just came to mind to mention to you by the way – have you tried black tea? not sure if you drink milk (I stopped for a while but seem ok again with a splash in tea) It’s a much different energy to coffee because of the additional compound L-theanine – no spiky body energy or crash (for me anyways)

    Perhaps it will be enjoyed better by your body too.

    Just realised how obsessed I am with talking about tea – like a tea dealer haha! (how many bags you want?!!)

    Have an awesome day!

  107. Tom

    In fact I have just realised the only reason I had judged/stopped doing so many things was because I wasn’t turning up as my Self…carrying all that baggage and ideas

    Went to see an old friend last night that I had avoided for several years after deciding he was not suitable!

    Had an incredible time – teasing him, making him laugh, playing in general…whilst I was there I realised everything is enjoyable when I turn up as me!!

  108. Tom

    Inspired to update with further intel on the goings on this end…

    This morning I have taken action in two ways;

    1. Replied yes to an email that arrived – inviting me to something that I would have previously said no to.

    2. Applied for a course that has been an idea for some time.

    The first left me feeling expanded and connected with life still, possibly more so than previously!

    The second left me feeling contracted and disconnected from life and my gut said it was a mistake so I rang them instantly and said I had changed my mind! Instantly back to expansion and connected with life.

  109. I’m glad to hear that Tom, and hope you have an even greater day today! ☀️

    In the past when I did all the research regarding menopause and caffeine etc I did drink tea every now and then, green tea mostly, but it’s not really my thing, I prefer coffee.

    I have some tea that I have occasionally, herbal teas etc (I like those), but coffee is still my favorite.

    And thank you for sharing re the two things you did;

    It’s always good to try new things and see how they feel intuitively and then follow the things that feels most aligned! 😊

  110. Tom

    Hi Maria!

    Something I’m pondering on and I have a question but don’t really know how to ask it!! Seem to be struggling with language.

    I’ll have a go…

    When I have let go of all old identities/false selves and their limited behaviours/personalities

    Where is my behaviour and personality then?

    Do I need to learn how to operate again?

    It’s like a blank canvas at the moment with the choice to pick up an old mask which I am choosing not to do but it feels weird…

    Hope this makes some sense

  111. You can be who and whatever you want Tom, that’s the freedom of realizing that it’s all consciousness and energy vibration, and you can choose whatever you want to do with it, or ‘be’.

    You can put a new you on, and let go of the old you, like a costume.

    It’s a shift in identity, from the old you to the new you, – the new you that is more like the true you that the old you has outgrown.

    So there’s nothing wrong with any of the versions of ‘you’, it’s just a natural progression of evolving as a human being.

    By shifting your energy and consciousness, you also shift your reality, and there is no limits to what you can be.

    This is when life gets fun; when you awaken to the realization that it’s all pure consciousness. 😊

  112. You’re very welcome.

    I want to use another word maybe; not ‘putting on a new costume’, it sounds a bit fake and that’s not what I meant.

    You simply become more of who you are, and express the next level you – so in that sense you take off the old you and put on the new you.

    And you are free to ‘be’ (and change/transform into) whatever you want.

    And yes, being and living in alignment is a ‘new’ way to operate, but that’s just because we have been trained to not live in alignment with ourselves and Life!

    In reality just being who we are and allowing ourselves to evolve and grow is the way we’re meant to be, and we are that naturally.

    I have a vague feeling that your comment and question wasn’t about these things though, am I right?

  113. Tom

    I don’t know what I was trying to ask in all honesty…I’m looking for someone to tell me I’ve got it wrong but I know I haven’t!!

    I’m looking for someone to tell me I am better off sitting around eating donuts and waiting for life to hand me what I want on a plate but I know that is an absolute load of bollocks!

    Plus the fact that I enjoy living in a way that everyone around me hates or seems to make them feel bad!

    I love self discipline, effort, accepting my weaknesses and becoming strong through them, meaningful conversation, self care and long term joy/fulfilment/satisfaction over fleeting pleasure, excitement and happiness which for me comes through following guidance and joyously suffering (really hard one to describe as it sounds awful) it is fantastic.

    Nothing else satisfies me, I’ve tried everything a million times!! Thrown my little self a bone (too use your term – I like it!) way too many times now.

    I have accepted I am flawed in every way and I am utterly weak without divinity – and through this I am able to be strong.

    The idea of wearing another mask or costume is nauseating, I’ve spent my life wearing them and it got me in a whole heap of shit – I know you didn’t mean that – You’re talking about shedding baggage which is no longer known to be truth such as behaviours, ideas, beliefs which keep us from expanding.

    It’s a shedding process.

    Thats how we change really – our behaviour is a byproduct of our identification when you think about it and our behaviour is what makes up our personality.

    Its only the ideas, beliefs and conditioning that we cling to keeping us contracted and we are choosing to hold on to those things – theoretically speaking we could drop them all at any moment although it doesn’t seem to be the way in which it occurs for most of us.

    Plus if I am being completely honest for me there is enjoyment being limited and it is hard to let go of the experience and acknowledging there is no way back.

    You don’t go to a theme park to sit on the rowing boats – you go for the thrill, the fear, the excitement.

    I see life as the same.

  114. It’s really very simple; just do what makes you happy and be yourself as much as you can while at the same time always keep growing and evolving too.

    Live this One Life that you’ve got and do things that are meaningful and important to you. It’s not more complicated than that, really.

    Here’s some articles that came to mind that you might like:

  115. Tom

    Yes, it is simple when you put it like that although nothing makes me happy…that is where our perspectives differ.

    I find joy in doing hard things and making progress consistently – that is what makes me feel satisfied or fulfilled at the moment.

    I chased happiness all my life – but I suppose through doing that I discovered that nothing could make me happy…so perhaps my pursuit of happiness wasn’t wasted haha!

    From my perspective joy is permanent – happiness is fleeting.
    Joy is an internal state – happiness is dependent on external circumstance.

  116. Thanks for sharing Tom.

    We’re just on different paths, that’s all, and it’s perfectly alright.

    I’m in a place within myself where I truly and deeply love my life (alignment does that to you), and that’s how I intend to continue living it too.

    Yes, happiness is usually based on what’s happening in the moment while joy goes deeper than that, but that doesn’t mean that they exclude each other.

    You can have both, and more, to enjoy this life.

    Here’s another post that came to mind that you might like:

  117. Tom

    I love that we are both on different paths/have different perspectives and am always curious to understand yours more!

    It is deeply fascinating…

  118. Tom

    Heart closed – heart open – heart closed – heart open – heart closed – heart open

    When I choose to close heart I identify with something less than divinity/truth, I’ve been 3 million versions of me on this post alone! (Can’t wait to read back through at some point)

    Open hearted – I love/am life, I identify with divinity, present, know what to do, open, curious, compassionate, creative, joyful, sociable, humour, playful

    Heart closes, I shut myself off/separate from life, I identify with less, run round in circles with no idea what to do, rigid, fear, anxiety, isolated, dry, dull

    Remaining open hearted with people in my immediate life who have a very different perspective to me is really challenging – but how else would I learn? I couldn’t learn on a desert island loving a coconut unconditionally!

    I thought being able to sit/live with my Father and remain open hearted after my childhood would be the toughest – turns out it isn’t!

    Is there anything more challenging than remaining open hearted? Not for me it seems, the rest of this has been a walk in the park compared to working with my heart!


    open hearted = alignment = presence = joy

    Keeping my heart open seems to be the necessary key to experience the others which are ever present.

    I close my heart – all goes to shit!

  119. Tom

    I used the wrong term there – I didn’t mean perspective, I meant people in my immediate life with very challenging behaviour!

  120. I hear you, Tom, and there’s a huge division in the world right now too, so it’s important to stay in alignment and not lose yourself in other people’s ‘stuff’.

    Here’s some of my articles that can be helpful to you, and a ‘poem’ I had posted in one of them (an old one) that you might like and find helpful when it comes to the people in your life, see below:

    “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

    When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.

    When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

    They have come to assist you through a difficulty…

    To provide you with guidance and support…

    To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…

    They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.

    They are there for the reason you need them to be.

    Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

    Sometimes they die…

    Sometimes they walk away…

    Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….

    What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…

    Their work is done.

    The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

    Some people come into your life for a SEASON.

    Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

    They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

    They may teach you something you have never done.

    They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

    Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.

    Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.

    Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

    It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

    Thank you for being a part of my life…

    Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

    — Unknown author

  121. Tom

    Love that poem…

    I’ve cared about them all too much.

    Fuck fitting in any more, shrinking myself down, closing myself off, I’ve done it for too long.

    I’m not here to fit in, I’m here to be extraordinary…

    No more.

  122. Tom

    I’ll be what god wants me to be…

    Not what these turnips/the world want me to be!!

  123. Tom

    All these rules – can’t do this, can’t do that. Got to be like this, got to be like that…

    Absolute load of bollocks.

  124. Tom

    I give myself permission to be myself as no one else ever has and probably never will!

  125. Tom

    In this life I am Tom, sorry for the splurge of messages!

  126. Tom

    Absolute legend ❤️

    I’m off to finish writing a script in a coffee shop now! choosing to do what I love doing…

    Have an awesome day!

  127. Tom

    I thought I was too big for the world but I’ve realised the world is too small for me

  128. Tom

    Yes! it’s all in there isn’t it…what was I thinking?

  129. Tom

    One day living as who you are is better than forty years living as anything less!

  130. Tom

    What a week!

    Rocked the boat massively in certain areas of my life which has allowed me to discover all sorts of parts that were being protected from being triggered tucked away in my heart…

    From Self I’ve been able to heal/bring them back into awareness…all from childhood! Shame, guilt, non acceptance and the patterns that were protecting them (being liked etc)

    Got complacent and incorrectly assumed I had brought everything into awareness…I was wrong the heart is another game altogether – wouldn’t have been able to discover them if I hadn’t gone off script!!

    Amazing week

  131. Glad to hear you have had a revolutionary week. 😊

    Yes, even the times we wonder off are there to steer us right back into alignment again.

    Hope you have a beautiful full moon day and evening today Tom.

    Here’s a post you might like and find inspirational:

    And here’s a poem I saw the other day, maybe you like it too:

    “I counted my years
    and realized that
    I have less time to live by,
    than I have lived so far.
    I have more past than future.
    I feel like that boy who got a bowl of cherries.
    At first, he gobbled them,
    but when he realized there were only few left,
    he began to taste them intensely.
    I no longer have time to deal with mediocrity.
    I do not want to be in meetings where flamed egos parade.
    I am bothered by the envious,
    who seek to discredit the most able,
    to usurp their places, coveting their seats,
    talent, achievements and luck.
    I do not have time for endless conversations,
    useless to discuss about the lives of others
    who are not part of mine.
    I no longer have the time to manage
    sensitivities of people who despite their chronological age, are immature.
    I hate to confront those that struggle for power,
    those that ‘do not debate content, just the labels’.
    My time has become scarce to debate labels,
    I want the essence.
    My soul is in a hurry …
    Not many cherries in my bowl,
    I want to live close to human people, very human,
    who laugh of their own stumbles,
    and away from those turned smug
    and overconfident with their triumphs,
    away from those filled with self-importance.
    The essential is what makes life worthwhile.
    And for me, the essentials are enough!
    Yes, I’m in a hurry.
    I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.
    I do not intend to waste any of the remaining cherries.
    I am sure they will be exquisite, much more than those eaten so far.
    My goal is to reach the end satisfied
    and at peace with my loved ones and my conscience.
    And per Confucius “We have two lives
    and the second begins when you realize you only have one.”

    Poem by Mário de Andrade – “The Valuable Time of Maturity”.

  132. Tom

    Love it!

    What a closing quote from confucius – ‘We have two lives and the second begins when you realise you only have one’

    Time also seems to speed up in alignment…but I experience a better quality of time, every moment is short, full and vibrant instead of long, empty and dull!

    Have an amazing short, full and vibrant day haha!

  133. Tom

    I’m opening a new chapter after reading your article, asking the boss specific questions;

    God what are the next steps to financial freedom in the most enjoyable, fulfilling way so I can be generous to others and continue to be available and present for my daughter?

    Part of me is very sad at the amount of life that has been perceived as being ‘wasted’ but it’s really helpful to reframe this as a reason not to waste any more!

    Thank you so much, happy Easter!

  134. Yes, do not waste another moment in regret or thinking your time/life has been/was wasted.

    If your mind wants to go there, then bring it back to the present moment with the realization that This, Right Now, is where life is and flows from,

    so This Moment Right Now is always a point of power from where we can make a new choice or decision.

    In every moment of life we have a choice to either dwell on the past, or forge ahead into a new and brighter future and life, and to start a new momentum that will be more in alignment with the truth within us.

    You might like this post too:

    And this:

  135. Tom

    Love the articles, I had to do loads of mirror work to accept all parts of my body…I was so judgemental of it after over a decade of bodybuilding, could be considered miraculous what occurred when I loved/blessed and accepted all parts of it, I even stopped my hair receding haha! seriously, loads grew/is still growing back!

    This is still a daily practice for me, blessing and loving all parts of my body

    Reading also made me think – are we choosing abundance, wealth, financial freedom, freedom, truth, meaningful relationships and deep companionship and getting out of the way of having it as opposed to achieving it?

    So could I be asking god/divinity/heart to show me the parts of me that are still in the way of this as opposed to what are the next steps?

  136. I’d say do both! Have a real heart to heart talk with God/Divine today, that’s what I would recommend, especially since it’s the full moon today, it’s a very powerful time to do these kinds of things.

    Here’s an old article that can be helpful to you:

    Take some time alone today, just being with yourself, writing/journaling, and talking with God about everything that is on your mind and heart.

    And here’s more:

  137. Tom

    Roger that – I’m going to do exactly this today and have a good chat with the boss – definitely feels like I’m stepping into/creating a new chapter, didn’t know anything about the full moon!!

  138. I’m big on the moon cycles, and this one is special to me because it’s also the last full moon before my birthday, so there’s a lot of completions and endings etc happening in my life right now as I’m naturally wrapping up the year and the old cycles before the sun returns and my new year begins.

    And as the old is coming to a close, I’ve also received new visions and plans for the future that are slowly starting to become more and more clear to me as well as unfold in terms of me taking certain actions that are mine to take in the beautiful co-creative process of the universe.

    The moon is 99,8% full right now, and will be 100% full tonight at 20:55, Spanish time.

    So tomorrow and onward will feel different, as the energies has shifted.

    Especially if we take the time to go within today and this evening to have an intimate and sincere talk with the Divine/God/higher self about what to release and let go of, and the path moving forwards.

  139. Tom

    Awesome! Massive transition period for you then, shedding your old petals and spreading your new ones! can’t wait to see what unfolds…

    Happy new moon, new you and new year!

  140. Tom

    Happy moon day! 🌚…How’s your new reality looking?

  141. Tom

    Morning Maria, hope you have had a fantastic few days…thought I would share after the exercise we discussed!

    I got a huge amount of clarity, and was also reminded that all the answers are already here…

    Guidance from my inner wisdom/divinity/god is to start with what is in front of me and finish the projects that have been started.

    There are so many facets to who I am but I have been wrestling to find my ONE thing for so long which has been going completely against my talents and nature.

    Absolutely no desire to be successful in the ambitious sense but each of these projects, (of which there are many) are hugely varied, satisfying and enjoyable in their own right.

    Really empowering exercise which has caused me to be grateful of my talents/gifts, reminded me to stay in my own lane and really reconnected me with my inner wisdom/god/divinity.

    Now that I have reconnected to this it is also easier to make choices that help deepen the relationship and anything that takes me further from it is both obvious and a choice that I prefer not to make!

    Thank you very much for the pat in the right direction, a really life changing few days!

  142. Hi Tom, good morning to you too, ☀️

    I’m glad you found it helpful and that it helped you progress and gain clarity on things that are of importance to you.

    Yes, our only ‘job’ is to do what’s in front of us (sometimes it’s joyful, and sometimes it’s challenging – all part of the human experience) and to respond to the cues from the universe (following through on intuition etc).

    We overthink and over-complicate things sometimes, when in fact life’s unfolding is pretty straight forward when you think of it.

    Just follow the thread of what pulls you the most (inner guidance, interest, curiosity, passion, synchronicity, signs, hunches, nudges etc), and then the next step is always shown, and then the next after that, and the next., and so it goes and unfolds.

    You might like these articles too:

  143. Tom

    Thanks Maria…

    Hope you’re having a great day, beautiful weather over here in the UK!

  144. Tom

    Big questions I’m contemplating and exploring currently;

    What parts of consciousness can we not rewrite?

    If we know we are consciousness and consciousness is everything then is there anything we can’t change in our lives/the world?

    What limits this?

  145. Tom

    The answer came immediately in the shower;

    Limited only by the size of the mind which in its natural state is boundless/limitless…only we can keep ourselves constrained to anything less.

    Literally anything is possible.

  146. Tom

    Is there anything more fascinating to explore/play with than that?

  147. Tom

    Just back from the forest and another question has come;

    We are creating our reality from our mind and can project either positive or negative energy towards others and negative and positive projections can be aimed towards us too, are we then only affected by negative projections whilst identified with less than we are or is there a need for us to protect ourself?

    eg Can my reality only be affected by the thoughts of other individual minds whilst I am identified with a limited individual mind also?

    Hope that makes sense, I am in quite an expanded state currently and am struggling with language a bit.

  148. Tom

    Sorry for all the questions – There is great joy for me in contemplating consciousness (myself) and formulating questions….

    Currently I experience myself as both an individual and every one and every thing and the term ‘I love myself’ has taken on a depth of its own , in that I love both the individual I experience myself as and myself as all within the reality I observe.

  149. Hi Tom, good morning ☀️

    We do have a destiny (a path that is uniquely ours), but we also have free will in the sense that we can resist or reject our true path in life (which most people do), or, we can go with the energy of our true life’s flow, that’s our choice.

    What holds us back, or keeps us from pursuing the path that speaks to us the most is our own mind and consciousness, because it’s no longer pure but has been tainted by outside forces and influences since the day we were born.

    So we ‘learn’ (are programmed to) ignore our true calling in life, and our intuition, which is what is suppose to help us live the life that we’re meant to live.

    So people get married to the wrong person for example, or they get into a business just for the sake of money although they would really want to be doing something else, or they do other things that goes against their own true nature and calling.

    And it has everything to do with what we believe, about ourselves and God and life at large, so beliefs are what holds us back, or keep us small and restricted, so we end up having a very limited version of life, when it could be much bigger and enjoyable and meaningful.

    Here’s a couple of articles that came to mind:

    And here’s more:

    So yes, as you stated too; anything is possible, and at the same time there’s the aspect of destiny, the path that is uniquely ours.

    And the limitlessness can go both ways by the way; you can create from ego too, and that’s when you create things that are not life-affirming and ‘good’ (things that are harmful and hurting for the whole. People and the world around us are always affected by our actions, so we are never only hurting ourselves when we act out of alignment).

    Yes, it is very exciting to play with this and to explore the possibilities, and when you know this, then it makes perfect sense to do the things that are truly calling you, because why would you do, or create, something harmful, when you know you’re free?

    You wouldn’t. But most people don’t know this, so they create from a place of lack and fear (which is ego).

    You asked if there is a need to protect ourselves and my question is yes, you do need to protect your energy, but that too is pretty straightforward when you keep alignment your priority.

    Meaning; if you feel bad vibes from someone, then walk the other way (or run!), and so on.

    If you are very aware and sensitive to other people’s energy, then you can even feel their intentions, or you can feel if people talk behind your back etc, and when you do, then you can say within yourself that “I only allow love to enter my sphere, so whatever anybody else is sending/projecting my way that is undesirable for me, I reject it and it can’t enter.” and things like that.

    You have the right to protect yourself and not take on other people’s projections and bad vibes, you have the right to reject those kinds of things. Don’t send it back to them though, just don’t take it on.

    You wrote:

    “eg Can my reality only be affected by the thoughts of other individual minds whilst I am identified with a limited individual mind also?”

    No, we can always be affected by outer influences and energies, that’s why it’s important to guard your consciousness and not allow things in that does not align or vibe with you.

    Here’s an article you might like:

    Another example; what happens when we come into this world; we are immediately affected by the thoughts of those around us, such as our parents, and if they are not evolved or aware enough to see this, they will undoubtedly make many ‘mistakes’ as parents while being unaware of it.

    They are just operating from an unaware and programmed state of consciousness, while be, as babies, are born into this world with a pure, untainted consciousness, which is then molded and programmed by the people around us.

    We live/act out our belief systems, and how we bring about the conditions we live is by our mental activity, our state of mind and consciousness, and it can be either destructive or constructive.

    Our world, reality, life, is produced by our state of mind, by our consciousness, but we also have a destiny that is uniquely ours that we’re meant to follow and live/express.

    So it’s both; we are free (essentially pure consciousness), but we also have a role (or several) to play in the tapestry of life, it’s all connected, and when one strays from their true path, the whole is affected too, and the same goes the other way too;

    That when you do you, when you live in alignment with You, then you contribute to the whole too, but in positive and life-affirming ways.

    Here’s another article that came to mind too that you might like:

  150. Tom

    The question we should really be asking then is wether we have actually avoided our path/true calling or whether we have walked it from the first moment?

    I didn’t choose my family (as far as I know) and when I ask the question I don’t get a sense that I chose this specific life, it was predetermined not selected.

    My life from my understanding/contemplation is a natural occurrence of the continual unfolding of consciousness and from the unfolding here I have been able to learn so much about myself (consciousness) and what I am not.

    From the highest perspective all of it has been beautiful and it couldn’t have unfolded any other way.

    The current evolution of consciousness in this reality is predominantly limited (ego) at the individual level and that is how reality is experienced for many if not most and therefore could we not say they are also walking their path because that too must be predetermined, no?

    If you are consciously avoiding doing something through belief/fear that is entirely different.

    From my perspective I haven’t avoided my calling, I had no idea what it was due to the way my life unfolded from the first moment and so for most of my life I was completely unaware and incapable, was it not the same for you?

  151. Some deep questions there, Tom (love it though). They could be answered/talked about in so many ways depending on many things.

    But starting from the beginning;

    You wrote: “.. whether we have actually avoided our path/true calling or whether we have walked it from the first moment?”

    I would say both. There are a million different paths we can take at any time, and we are free to choose whichever way we want to go.

    However, we have no clue about any outcomes or the way in which things will unfold, who we meet on the way and what specific things happen along the way etc.

    We are clueless in that regard, but our higher self knows what’s ahead, and can guide us if we’re open to it through intuition, synchronicity, etc.

    I’m really a very here and now type of person, and my focus is always on evolving/growing/expanding (while enjoying the Now), so I don’t ponder things like what happened in the past or what happens when we die kind of things.

    I don’t care about those kinds of things, it’s not interesting to me because it’s all speculation and I’m not the philosophical kind of person. I’m of a more practical nature (while also grounded in spirit) so if I can’t use the information in some way, it’s kind of useless to me.

    But okay, yeah, I think we chose our family, and I believe we chose different things that we wanted to learn while here, such as forgiveness for example, or whatever it may be, and then Life puts together the situations and meetings that needs to occur for us to learn those things.

    Some things feel very predestined, and some other things are very fluid and where we can steer the wheel so to speak.

    I know my work for example;

    There were a few times in the past when I was so frustrated because I didn’t see any progress and it felt I was just spinning the wheels that I decided that I would do something else instead (get a job, or create a different work/career), but each time I tried to deviate from the path, Life just directed me back on on it again.

    I could not ‘quit’ my path even if I wanted to! LOL

    There’s just something each of us are born to do, and our job is to find that and then do it.

    Here’s an article that came to mind:

    This does not have to be only one thing though, it can be many things, we can change careers for example many times in our life, and whatever we do, it’s still our “purpose”.

    With that said; we get the experiences in life that we focus on, so we are the ‘focuser’ of energy and our consciousness, from where our life unfolds.

    But this is way too deep of a topic/subject to be able to write about/discuss in a comment! 😄

    A few articles that came to mind:

    And yes, it’s when we learn about who we are not that we also come to see/realize who we really are.

    Here’s a couple of old articles that came to mind:

    And a newer one:

    Another older article that you might like:

    You wrote:

    “From my perspective I haven’t avoided my calling, I had no idea what it was due to the way my life unfolded from the first moment and so for most of my life I was completely unaware and incapable, was it not the same for you?”

    There isn’t just One Big Calling. We are called to something all the time, by our inner guidance who knows what path would be best for us, but it’s up to us to listen to it and go with what is being shown.

    I have always been very intuitive, and I have also always been very aware of the fact that It wants the best for us, but of course there has been many times in my life when I have ignored it too, or not listened to it.

    Sometimes purposefully, and sometimes by mistake. It’s part of being human, we’re not always perfect.

    About purpose in terms of work;

    I had no idea that I would be teaching flow and alignment etc when I wrote my book for example (which you can find here:, only years later was I able to connect the dots, looking back.

    And I have no idea what I will do ten years from now either! I have some ideas, sure, and I’m doing things that moves me in that direction, but who knows, I mean, we don’t even know what will happen five minutes from now. 😊

    Life is constantly unfolding before us, and our job is to stay aligned with the true flow of our life, wherever it may lead us.

    The only ‘rule’ there is is to follow your joy! Follow your passion, your interests, your curiosity, what you love, enjoy, or what feels meaningful to you in some way etc. That’s pretty much it.

    That’s how we come to live a life that we can be proud of, that we enjoy, and which feels fulfilling and meaningful.

  152. Tom

    Joseph Campbell – Follow your bliss!

    Are you saying that if you had made different choices you would have been lead to a completely different now doing something entirely different or were your choices predetermined to lead you to this now doing what you are doing?

  153. Yes. 😄

    Don’t you see that in your own life too? It doesn’t only have to do with work, but with everything.

    That yes, you could also have chosen something else in the past, a different path, but for some reason you chose what you chose, which lead you to where you are now,

    And looking back, doesn’t it look kind of magical and awesome how perfect it is and how intentional it seems as well?

    There’s absolutely something bigger in play here, and has always been.

    That something that we have so many names for; God, universe, divine, higher mind, the infinite intelligence etc. is what’s behind it all. It’s the driving force behind our lives.

  154. Tom

    Yes, my experience is that every part of my life has been so intricately woven that it would have been impossible for me to have ended up in a different now and it has unfolded exactly as intended.

    I have walked my path from the first moment – I just didn’t know it until recently.

    Contemplating my true nature is my bliss – We can’t fully know or understand something if we don’t know experientially (not intellectually) what it isn’t first.

  155. Tom

    Just to add – in my experience god is a part of me in a more expanded state – and even that is a fragment compared to the more expanded states that it is contained within – almost beyond mental capacity to comprehend but I am being shown more…

    The universe we find ourselves within right now is a tiny fragment of consciousness from a higher perspective and that is where my bliss lies – discovering more as more is revealed.

  156. Everything is intricately woven. Whatever path you would have chosen (or chose from this moment onwards), it would have been equally perfect.

    All paths are complete in themselves, they have everything we need already set up. Everything already exists, whatever path you choose.

    There are right now billions of realities and worlds out there, and what we see and experience is just our own consciousness expressed.

    Yes, God is part of us, it is consciousness, it is all there is.

  157. Tom

    The power of the mind and its ability to create and maintain multiple realities…

    Look at the dream worlds and the reality we can create with the individual mind alone, even that is astonishing!

  158. Tom

    Really enjoyable…

    You too, don’t get up to too much mischief!

  159. Tom

    Just realised that it is possible If I continue walking my path that my daughter might not be a part of it…

    That is a really tough one!

  160. Tom

    Because she has two predominant households/influences and perspectives in her life.

    Her life will unfold as it is intended and even with best intentions from here I have very little control over any other part of it aside from what I bring to the table whilst she is with me…

  161. All the more important then that you teach her to listen to herself first and foremost!

    Her life will ultimately unfold according to HER and what she wants, and the more you can teach this to her, the more she will be aligned with her own true path in life.

    It’s your ‘job’ as a parent to teach her independence and self-belief, and you can do so by telling her that she can do/become whatever she wants, and that she should always trust her own inner voice (intuition).

    I’ve recently talked to one of my nieces about this and how important it is, she’s eleven or twelve.

    It’s vitally important that children learn to trust themselves, and teaching these things to them is very important because they are always influenced by others, like peers, teachers, etc.

    You’re not powerless. You have a say, even if her mom has a different perspective on things, and whatever they might teach her in school.

    And your daughter is also not powerless, she has her own free will to do whatever she wants with her life.

    It would be a mistake to teach her that it’s all ‘predestined’ (it’s not, not in the way you might think), that would actually disempower her.

  162. Tom

    I have tried to fight life for a long time on this and understandably wish the best for her and want her to experience the best life possible but that might mean she has to go through some real shit first…

    I thought for a long time that I had to experience my suffering to break the cycle so to speak so that she didn’t have to but I can see that isn’t strictly true now and it is not my decision to make.

  163. That’s right; you can’t ‘protect’ her from life, she will have her own experiences that she has to have in order to grow and evolve as a human being.

    All you can do is to be there for her, give her the best tools, and empower her in all the ways that you can.

  164. Tom

    You can do all this Maria and often it still isn’t enough…

    You can point someone inwards, they can leave as a grounded, confident person, looking after their health, looking after their body, making strong decisions and can return a few days later as an utterly different person again.

    Over and over and over and over again.

  165. Tom

    I want her to be nothing less than strong and independent, not only for her but through the knowledge I’ve done my job but what if she takes on traits from elsewhere and isn’t, what then?

  166. Tom

    I’ve missed your message again…we’ve overlapped.

    I go back to my first message, it isn’t easy.

  167. You can only do so much, you can’t control her life and what she will do, what actions she will take and not take etc.

    I don’t have kids, but I experience this in other ways in my life, through my work for example, or when I (try to) help people/friends/family etc in my life.

    I can only give them the tools, but I can’t do the things for them, they have to do it themselves, and I also can’t live their life for them, they have to do that themselves.

    Just like with your daughter. You can’t control what she will do, and you can’t live her life for her, but you do have influence in her life, and as I mentioned before, to teach her self-belief and the importance of intuition.

    It sounds like your next assignment in all this is to work on detachment and releasing your need to have her be and live in a certain way.

    She’s going to be a teenager soon, and then a whole new challenge might begin with you when it comes to parenting, so if I were you, I would get myself sorted out first, so that I’m able and equipped to handle all the changes that she undoubtedly will come into in a few years time.

    Not that it has to be a challenge, but the teenage years are very unpredictable. I was a nightmare for my parents for example, while some other siblings were ‘okay’ and not a challenge at all.

  168. Tom

    The idea of having an empowering female partner that was an an incredible female role model for her would be ideal…

    So we could offer a high nurturance environment and be able to model unconditional love from both male and female perspectives.

  169. Of course, but the female role-model doesn’t have to be a partner, it can also be a friend, or even one of her grandmothers or some other relative.

    I have to go now, Tom, I have a meeting.

    Talk soon again.

  170. Tom

    Two fantastic points;

    There isn’t a female, yet (aside from you!) but that is set to change and you’re absolutely right it doesn’t have to be a partner.

    And I can see I am attached to a personal desire for her to be strong and independent the idea of her not being is really painful

  171. Tom

    There’s undoubtedly improvement to be made from me as I say I am flawed in every way but the desire to be constantly better is there.

    Have a great meeting…

    Speak soon

  172. Yes, the work is really about you now; you doing the inner work, and then she will subconsciously be influenced by your internal shift too.

    One thing to start with is to stop saying that you’re flawed in every way. That’s not a good affirmation to say – Your mind is listening to you, always, and carries out exactly the things you tell it.

  173. Tom

    Thank you – Another little string to be cut…Never could have imagined the convo would have gone that way but glad it did!

    No, you have read that as self deprecating, it isn’t in any way…from my perspective my mind likes to think it is perfect as a human, it is not.

    There is potential there for anything.

  174. To me there’s a self-deprecating/devaluing of self aspect in what you shared with me/said. Why even say something to (or about) yourself about being flawed? Why not just be awesome and get on with it?

    Here’s a few articles you might find helpful:

    You have called yourself ‘flawed in every way’ several times in our conversations, so it’s clearly something you believe about yourself, and identify with, and I would do you a disservice if I didn’t point this out.

    And just to give you some context to chew on; would you want your daughter to say those things about herself, that’s she’s flawed in every way?

    I would assume you don’t, so why are you being an ass to yourself like that?

    Saying things like that is like arguing for your smallness, plus, it’s also contradicting to what you say you believe, which is that you’re limitless.

    It’s actually your ego/small self saying that about itself, and then you believe it’s you. It’s not.

    Just ask yourself if God would say that about you, that you’re flawed?

    Exactly. Then why are you? There’s power in your words, they carry energy, energy that is creative.

    Here’s another post that you might like:

  175. Tom

    Morning Maria!

    Waited to reply so I could contemplate on what happened…

    The above is a load of bollocks – Ego fears those things and creates that story but that is not what I am and not what is – searching for anything to remain small – the narrative suddenly became absolutely overwhelming like a backlash and I fell for it.

    My daughter doesn’t need any help – she is absolutely fine, limitless and in safe hands – Not to say I shouldn’t carry on pointing her inwards and highlighting her true power.

    Your response allowed the energy behind that state to dissolve, anything else and it would have perpetuated it.

    I know I needed to experience that contrast again – I don’t believe I am limitless, I know it – I’m experiencing it right now.

    There really is a choice – take responsibility for all parts of life as divinity or to shrink yourself down to a tiny fragment and walk around like a fearful, small and limited individual.

  176. Tom

    I’ve got an assignment by the way and I know nothing more than this at the moment;

    ‘It’s time to rewrite the rule books’

    No idea what’s coming but I’m all in!

  177. Tom


    Practical day today creating a life vision, really enjoyable process…

  178. Anonymous

    God breathes through here

    God see’s through here

    God speaks through here

    God loves through here

    God forgives through here

    God acts through here

    God lives through here

    Nothing here without god

  179. Tom

    Hello Maria! How are you!?

    It’s been a while since I posted on here…thought I’d give an update!

    Made some great ‘progress’ letting life show me what is true and what is not about me…

    I understand what you meant when you told me that life will take care of the growth side of things now…I didn’t at the time, I thought I was in control of it but actually my resistance to life experiences was holding me back.

    I’ve had some wobbles, some fails (which have turned out to be the best experiences) and I have overcome some old fears.

    I’ve got a great story here to tell you – I had a fear of losing that I didn’t know about and entered the Dads race at my daughters sports day not long ago. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would win! But I set off and my legs were like lead, like in one of those dreams when you can’t run…

    I came last! In front of my daughter. My ex. Some friends. all the other mums and 100s of others hahaha!

    I couldn’t believe it…But What an opportunity to overcome a fear of coming last and what a way to show my daughter that sometimes you win/sometimes you lose!

    By the way those dads are going down at Sports Day 2023, I’m bringing home the gold haha!

    I have spent a long time learning how to develop apps which has been enjoyable but I love so many other things in my day that I don’t want to spend 16 hours at a computer so I’m working with a team to do the coding side of things so I can focus on the vision and customer side of things which I love doing and I get to keep my time and freedom and ensure I’m available for My daughter…

    I battled with this for a long time thinking it was too easy for me to create income and couldn’t be what I should do but I realised it’s easy for me and not for others so I’d be a fool not to do it!

    I know that I’ll have financial wealth again soon and have been discussing with my daughter all the things we’ll enjoy together.

    We have had the most wonderful few years with limited income having to be creative coming up with fun days with no money and it’s made me appreciate both the small things in life and the gift of money. she’s understood that too…we made having a budget into a fun game and we’ve made a promise that we’ll still have days where we do that in the future!

    One thing that still bothers me now and again is where my art/creativity has gone!? But I’m learning to let that go and wonder if I was ever actually arty and creative or wether I thought I was and was just high a lot of the time…Definitely the latter haha!

    I am pretty certain there will be some more wobbles in the future but today I’m bang in the middle and alive!

    I hope you are good and things are going well, this message is really one of gratitude to say thank you for your incredible patience and the help you have given me along the way.

    Absolute legend.


  180. Tom

    Sorry for spamming Maria but things shift so quickly…everything was bang on in that previous post but just been on a walk in the forest and as soon I become comfortable with a direction and an idea of what I am doing for income etc (apps with a team) and start to tell people the plan there is an internal shift where I have absolutely no idea again!!

    The world is constantly asking what I’m doing! What are you doing now? What are you working on now? What companies are you launching?

    I have no fucking idea!

    I have no idea who I am, what I am doing, what I like doing, what my plan is, what I desire, I have no dreams!

    My life is wonderful, why would I want to change it?

    Life for me currently is like being on a rollercoaster and I am part of the ride (the carriage) and I have to keep letting go as the observer and putting my arms in the air after every experience – let go and carry on the ride.

    Just no idea at all again and I give up trying to know now

    I don’t care what people think, I don’t care about not having a plan, I don’t care about not knowing who I am and attempting to be something constant, it’s impossible! I’m changing continuously from moment to moment!

    So I give up. I give up trying to be anything and I give up trying to make my life better or changing it…

    No idea what or who I am and no idea about absolutely anything in fact!

    Sorry for the outburst!!

  181. No worries about anything Tom,

    I’ll respond tomorrow – feel free to share/comment as much as you want. 😊

  182. Tom

    Morning! Feel open again today…feel very fortunate actually, my life really is wonderful…

    Thanks for the space to let rip!! I had to become self sufficient and self reliant at an early age because my needs weren’t met and so I became a doer – action, win, smash life, take control, ownership, do, do, do, look after, take care of, sort out…

    The last thing that I wanted to do is surrender (seems utterly counter intuitive to the way I’ve learnt to operate my whole life) but that tantrum did the job as I felt defeated and there was nowhere left to go – surrender was the only choice…

    Thank god for that!

    Too strong willed for my own good…

    The sense now is that I need to let life come to me with what needs doing instead of me going out and trying to smash it!

  183. Hi Tom,

    Thank you for all the updates etc!

    LOL! I loved the story about the Dads race 😄

    Yes, Life has a way of showing us things 😊 and good for your daughter too, to see a different side of you.

    Good luck on the Sports Day 2023! If you remember, let us know how it went. (I’m rooting for you! 💪)

    The App thing; I’ve had people contacting me asking me if I want them to create an App for me. Haven’t looked into that yet.

    Ah, the ‘if it is/comes too easily then it must be wrong’- ego-thought-pattern, yes, that one is very common.

    Most of us has ingrained in us that you have to struggle and toil for money and income, and obviously that’s not true, but that too is a belief we have to overcome if we want to find true and lasting abundance and security (which all comes from the inside).

    It’s good that you and your daughter are talking about all the things you’ll do, it’s a form of virtualization that can only do good for both of you.

    Regarding your art and creativity; those things usually comes in cycles, and I know that sometimes you might have months in between your creative expressions, especially if there’s a conflict within you regarding ‘where’ the art is coming from (ego/soul).

    I know it can be frustrating and even confusing, but it will come back if it’s one your true self-expressions, and it comes back the sooner you accept that it might not (contradictory, I know).

    Moving on to your next comment;

    Yes, that’s the way the world at large operates, the doing doing doing mentality, but a new way of living is coming forth more and more, which is the aligned way, where you follow your own inner flow and life’s unfolding, so just keep doing you and ignore the rest!

    And it doesn’t have to be about having to change anything, but about evolving and becoming more of who you are.

    There are times when you do have a plan and then other times when there’s nothing, where you can’t ‘see’ anything etc, and that’s all part of the perfect unfolding of your life.

    You might like these articles:

    To respond to your last comment:

    Good morning to you as well 😊

    And you’re very welcome, it’s always nice to be able to share, rant, and vent and just get things off of your chest sometimes, and I enjoy the conversations too.

    Just to say something that is important; there’s nothing wrong with the Doer in you.

    All aspects of yourself are meant to work for your good, so the Doer will also have its place, but right now you’re in the process of no longer letting it Lead, so that’s where the friction comes from.

    It’s a process, and eventually all parts of you will be in harmony with each other, so this is all leading to something good.

    Surrendering is a huge part of that process, which you can read more about here:

    Hope you have a great day Tom! ☀️

  184. Tom

    Thanks Maria,

    Haha, I’m getting paparazzi there next time!!

    I absolutely agree – the doer part of me is very powerful, it is only when I completely identify with only that, that all shit hits the fan! which is habit still because I felt I had to be that for a lonnnnnnng time…

    Learning on the job!

    Just to add, I’m not sure how an app would be beneficial for your work – I wasn’t trying to sell you one by the way! Just mentioning but if you ever need any advice, let me know.

    Yes! I understand exactly what you mean about a true Self expression – great way of putting it and have experienced the benefit of letting the art/creativity go, I also realised on my walk yesterday that creativity isn’t just drawing and painting which was a concept I was holding on to.

    With regards to the money side of things – I have another part of me that is also very powerful – loves anything difficult and overcoming the hardest of challenges – this is the part of me that adores fasted endurance training. I have only very recently eventually broken the habit of identifying fully with that part too as I could not stand anything easy, which included earning money! IT HAS TO BE DIFFICULT!! hahaha

    I’m fascinated to find out what other parts of me there are that I’ve been identifying with, just got to keep my arms up on the rollercoaster for now!

    Really, really appreciate your response and space as always – its such a breath of fresh air to be able to speak from truth…

  185. No worries at all! I didn’t take it as you were trying to sell me anything, and yes, I don’t know either how an App would benefit my work/business, but I’ll see if it comes up again, maybe I look into it more later on.

    About the other things you wrote; There’s no need to change what we enjoy, so if you enjoy overcoming challenges then go for it, – why not? If it’s working for you and you’re enjoying it then why change it?

    The same way of being is probably frustrating when it comes to making money and income, and those things of course are the things we need to change and shift within ourselves, so maybe that’s your next step; to work on you money and abundance consciousness?

    Get that whole thing sorted out within yourself. 😊

  186. Tom

    Ahhhh – you just meant apps keep popping up, gotya! mis-understood…

    It wasn’t working for me, I only felt peace temporarily when I completed a challenge and then needed the next one, and the next one, and the next one!

    Yes! I definitely need to work on money and abundance now, these are the things that I know are going on in here from having a dig around; Fear of prioritising money, fear of losing my freedom, detest the ‘business’ world, huge amount of debt accrued whilst on meds and annoyance at having to pay it off, and knowing that currently when I start earning again I will have to start paying off debt again – the last two are biggest blocks I think…

    Other things I know; I love money, I enjoy providing for my daughter, I enjoy choice, I enjoy financial freedom, I enjoy going on adventures and travelling and impromptu trips and I enjoy buying fresh quality whole foods – all of which require money!!

  187. Tom

    Yes! then I can start being generous again, that’ll be enjoyable!

    Have a great day Maria!

  188. That’s wonderful Tom, but generosity can be shared in other ways too (and then it comes back to you, maybe not in the way you gave it, but it does come back), and the money you do have needs to be able to circulate freely otherwise you’re just creating more lack for yourself.

    It’s a trap, the mindset that ‘once I get money (or whatever it may be), then I can be generous/happy’ etc etc, because it’s actually the other way around. It’s when you’re generous Now that the generosity comes back to you. But you can’t do it for that reason, it has to be sincere.

    Investing in yourself and your own inner (and outer) growth is huge as well, and overcoming the fear of that is one of the hurdles and mind-blocks that are now called to be seen through for you.

    I remember when I was living on welfare and was building my website and business;

    I had to take from my food money to be able to create it, and I even PAID 20 bucks each month (which was a huge sum from my food money) to be able to write my mailing list of like twenty people (that’s what Aweber charged at the time).

    There’s so much I can say about this as money and abundance was one of the biggest things I had to work out in myself, so I know all about it.

    But I’ll leave you with this;

    How and where can you give already now?

    Because you can have the joy of giving and being generous already now, in other ways (not just financial), and then those actions will boomerang back to you and you will be the recipient of the goodness of the universe, which can be money too.

    An example; my book, the “Energy Awareness” book, which you can find out more about here:

    I wrote that when I was on welfare and I had to ditch celebrating Christmas with my family that year (we lived in different cities) because I chose to hire an editor and publish my book instead (which took basically all the money I had left), and what happened after that was incredible; I received some unexpected money that was TEN times what I had invested in my book back!

    That’s when I really saw how powerful it is to invest and give even if you ‘can’t afford it’; because what I invested and gave out into the world came back to me tenfold within a week or two, unexpectedly and totally out of the blue.


    On this journey to an abundant life you will be asked to step up, to move beyond your comfort zone (way out!), you will have to meet your biggest fears, and a lot more, but I can promise you that once it clicks into place within you (in your consciousness), then everything else on the outside shifts too.

    You too have a great day, and let us know how things unfold!

  189. With all this said, I do understand what you meant by what you wrote; that you look forward to be able to be generous, I can relate to that, and I know many do, but the big secret to abundance is really to be a giver even before you ‘have’. Not only to others, but to yourself too.

  190. Tom

    Thanks for really making me contemplate…

    I believe I mentioned a life vision that was born after a period of time I spent focussed on the highest potential for my life – the phrase ‘re-write the rulebooks’ kept coming over and over.

    After I created or co-created that life vision my life started to unravel in an entirely different direction that seemed insane (from a certain perspective) and involved sacrifice, with an underlying knowing that what I was doing was important or beneficial for the collective.

    This still seems odd or at least unique but whilst undertaking the work I knew what I was doing was what I was meant to be doing and what I was doing was both necessary and important – it felt like gods work.

    I am confused now as after finishing the last round I had assumed that it was me wanting to feel special and creating something out of suffering, but now I am not certain about that…nothing has felt satisfying since.

    I can absolutely hear what you are saying about giving before you can give – and although I was only referring to financially – I am emotionally and physically available for my daughter and present (as much as possible), help my father out and lift him up instead of trying to avoid him or judging him and help him do things he can’t manage. bless others when I encounter them instead of judging them, and bless the challenging ones even more during meditation. I bless my daughters food as I cook for her and her hair when I’m plaiting it and when I read her a bedtime story and her room and after she falls asleep. I also pray for truth for myself and others every morning and naturally show appreciation or gratitude for my life.

    But I have definitely not been doing all of those things since that last round finished, I’ve been all over the shop!

    Lots of food for thought there, left me pondering as you’ve flipped me upside down, turned me inside out and cooked me like a kipper!

  191. Tom

    On a personal level it’s also worth noting that I have a deep appreciation for life and don’t feel that I am lacking anything.

    I would be preferable to have more money but it isn’t necessary.

    It would make things easier in some ways and harder in others and I’d argue that my life is already abundant…

  192. Hahaha! I didn’t mean to do that! 😄

    But good that it made you think, it’s always good to stretch our minds and have it shaken from its set ways every now and then.

    And yes, the giving you’re already doing will come back to you, so it’s not always about money.

    The feeling you described, that you knew that what you were doing was what you were meant to be doing is Key.

    That also means that if your intuition tells you to invest in something, or give money to someone that you feel intuitively called to help out even if you give your last cent – if it’s intuitively guided then you will always get it back (from the Universe/God).

    The most important thing is that all the giving that we’re doing comes from a place of Spirit and not the ego, and following our gut feelings and intuitive nudges and guidance is the way we are shown how and where to give, whatever it may be, like with you when you’re helping your dad, being present with your daughter, sharing love, blessing others etc etc.

    That’s all part of the abundance vibe. 😊

  193. I just saw your other comment now too.

    It’s good to feel complete, absolutely, but money is also listening to what you’re saying about it.

    So why not love it? Not in a greedy way, but in the same way you love any other thing in your life; your family, good friends, your home, the food you eat etc. Why not love money too?

    Allow it to come into your life and serve you and your dreams and desires. That’s what it’s for – to serve us, to help us and to support us in living our most empowered life.

  194. Something you can do is to write a list with everything on it that you want and need and then speak it out loud to the universe, elaborate on each point, like for example how wonderful it is to have your own house and how wonderful it is to have money supporting that, and how wonderful it is to be able to or have XYZ and then elaborate on it, use your imagination and see yourself having those things, experiences, giving to others etc etc and let your imagination soar in joyful ways, and then call in money into your life, tell it to come and serve you and support you in the things you want to have, be and do.

    If you’re saying that money doesn’t matter or that you are okay without it/that you don’t care if you have it or not, then your desires are really lukewarm and nothing will change.

    It’s an empowering thing to do to actually call it in, and it’s not about “asking” or begging it to come, but to realize that it is a necessity in life, and that you can do so much more not only for yourself but for other people too, and the world, when you have lots of it, so you call it in, you call it in with your energy and with the words you use, whether it’s within you (inner self-talk) or by the things you say to others about it in conversations – That’s what creates your reality.

  195. And it’s not that money is apart (separated) from us, but we are apart from it (we have been programmed that way), in our consciousness, due to our false and limiting beliefs and ideas about it.

    That’s why the speaking out loud about it and doing all the inner consciousness work is necessary. It’s not to persuade money to come – but for us to allow and let it in!

    Abundance is already here, but we can experience an abundance of lack, if we are in that state in our consciousness, so our job is to start focusing in the other direction of that spectrum.

  196. Tom

    Thanks Maria, loads of questions as always;

    Presumably this requires letting go of how you believe/want it to come?

    How can you be sure that an opportunity that arises is not residually created from ego consciousness when I’ve been trying to force my own way? (does that question make sense?)

    Is drawing a line in the sand from this moment a good way of doing that?

  197. Hi Tom,

    Yes, it’s always the insistence that causes the struggle, when we ‘think’ and almost demand that things shall be as we (or the small self) wants them to be, or come to us, or unfold etc.

    In reality we have no clue, so let magic and miracles happen by not insisting on any specific outcomes or results!

    You wrote: “How can you be sure that an opportunity that arises is not residually created from ego consciousness when I’ve been trying to force my own way? (does that question make sense?)”

    I understand what you mean, and that’s also what I meant by all aspects of you working together for your good, only in the forcing scenario it was the anxious and fearful ego who did the work leading up to the opportunity, and the forcing came because it wrongfully thought that that was its job.

    So please be kind to yourself, always. The aspect of ourselves that is stressed out, worried, anxious etc, is the part of us that are not meant to Lead.

    You are meant to lead, and the ego should sit in the backseat, and that’s what the process is about.

    Unknowingly at some point in your life you gave the job to make your life work to the ego self (we all did this), when the human side of us is actually meant to enjoy this life, be the experiencer of it, not the creator of it (in that sense).

    We have given the small self a job that it can’t do, and then we kick it down even more when things don’t work out!

    When you begin to see the misidentification here, that’s when you’re able to see it from the outside and actually feel compassion for it (the ‘lower’ aspects of yourself, and I don’t mean that in judgment, it’s just to describe that we are all those parts, even the ones that are ‘lower’), and it’s all meant to work harmoniously together, where the small little ego, or the human part of you, is merely the experiencer of life and reality, not the creator and leader of it.

    To control our small, or ‘lower’ self, and to love ourselves as we are, embracing all aspects of ourselves, that’s when we come into true oneness and alignment.

    The poor ego tries everything to make life work, when in reality life only starts to work when you’re able to let go of the ego, or put in the backseat, and you let the Divine take the reins (and you discover your inner power to create by your consciousness and energy).

    So the process is to really want to know yourself fully, and love yourself fully, and being in charge of yourself fully, so that your life can flow and unfold harmoniously and beautifully.

    The only thing that you ever have to concern yourself with is to check if you’re in alignment Now, and Now, and Now, so don’t even care what or who did the work up until this point – never-mind that – it’s This Moment only that matters.

    Move forwards from here, and whatever opportunities that comes your way, use your discernment and intuition when they show up and decide then if it’s for you or not, if it’s in alignment with you or not.

    Whatever happened up until this point is irrelevant, so yes, a line in the sand is always good to make – To decide that you will move forwards from this moment on, no matter what has happened in the past, or what you have done or not done.

    It doesn’t matter. All that matters is Now.

    Lastly, here’s an article that you might like:

    “The next level of awakening is when the ego becomes the servant of your soul and surrenders into service to You. This is when the whole of you is integrated and you have fully come into yourself. You are now grounded and fully embodied in your human and divine self, as One. This is true Oneness – it has nothing to do with getting rid of parts of yourself, but in bringing everything together, from a place of love. Awakening to this is what finally sets you free to become who you were always meant to be”:

    Hope this was helpful to you. 😊

  198. Tom

    Yes, tremendously!

    Exactly what I needed to hear…Thanks Maria!

  199. Tom

    I’ve got it…the way out of ego is through it

    I’ve been resisting going back there and fearful of re-identification (and can see that is ego haha)

    But the way out of ego is through it knowing I’m Self….accepting whatever is and whatever I am right now! Then I return to Self with a much broader perspective and greater understanding (compassion and unconditional love for ego and all my parts) vs resisting re-identification.

    It’s just a very old habit that I’m breaking just like all my other habits…

    I know what I truly am.

  200. Tom

    Morning Maria!

    Just want to bless your life with even more abundance and beauty and thank you again for all your energy in responding to all my questions…

    Have an awesome day!

  201. Tom

    Morning Maria! We’ve got some hot weather in the UK, loving it!

    Felt guided to update on what’s going on after our conversation…

    Focussing on what I can give almost instantly shifted me out of little self and searching for what the world can give me into what I am able to offer the world, I was being so selfish hahaha!

    This lead me back to heart and there were some emotional releases.

    This lead me back to god and the realisation that I am both god and not god simultaneously!! which I know and had forgotten.

    I had an experience in the swimming pool where god blessed everyone, the pool and their bodies through here, that was fantastic!

    God loves philosophy and understanding the nature of reality through here…There really is nothing more enjoyable!!

    There is no separation with god and yet referring to god as I at the moment doesn’t match my experience.

    For example when I am meditating a person comes into the visual field and god blesses them and loves them unconditionally and confirms the abundance and truth and beauty in their life – the experience is really profound, there is a huge outflow of light and energy.

    In contrast if I meditate and visualise someone and ‘I’ attempt to bless them and love them unconditionally and do the same as the above the experience feels false.

    Being god and not god simultaneously is truth for me, at least right now! but operating from here is taking a bit of getting used to…

  202. Tom

    Maria, I’m sorry hahaha…

    If sharing all this is non beneficial here, please tell me to sod off!

    It’s no longer painful, its just funny. to me now…Just continual shedding and shifting going on, how many layers of identification have I got…it just keeps going!! I’m like a world record breaking onion!

    As soon as I identify with anything – WHAMMMMMOOOO! nope, I’m not that either!

    My new mantra is ‘I am here and have no idea’

    Slowly breaking the habit…Does it come to an end when we become a tiny pickled onion or do we just continue shedding? I’m ok with the latter to be honest, seems to be more fun!

    Probably shift again after writing this and become a 16th century thespian, who knows!

    Thank you so much for the space to share – I hope it is giving in some way!

  203. Hi Tom,

    No worries at all,

    I’m sick right now so I don’t have the energy or the brain to do anything at the moment other than resting and sleeping,

    So please feel very welcome to share as much and as often you want, and I’ll reply when I get well again.

  204. Tom

    It was a perfect response as always…hope you’re ok!

    Praying that you get the rest you need and recover in your own time x

  205. Tom

    Hi Maria, just wanted to apologise…Caffeine still makes me really ungrounded, it’s taken me until now to realise how it affects me.

    I feel much better without it but a part of me loves the excitement and thrill of drinking loads of it which I have been indulging and learnt my lesson!

    Any more than a cup here or there is not beneficial for me and I’m back on the good quality decaff which I’m actually really enjoying.

    Thank you very much for your patience, I can see all the times that I have got lost and have no idea what is going on directly correlate to drinking loads of caffeine!

    Hope you are feeling better and have a well deserved rest and speedy recover.

    Sorry for all the messages and please don’t worry about replying to any of them, all is good.


  206. Tom

    Glad you are over the worst…fingers crossed your taste buds will be back online soon!

  207. Tom

    Interesting few weeks…

    As soon as I took focus away from that life vision, the challenges stopped, the knowing stopped, everything went to shit.

    God knows what the outcome of all this will be but I know fasted endurance is exactly what I should be doing right now and I love it!

    There’s nothing else that comes close for me.

    As soon as I focus on that vision I know exactly what I am meant to be doing and it is important – no idea why! it goes against what society would tell me to do right now and I don’t care, Im going against the grain!

    I get to learn more and more the deeper I go, more is revealed and I have gone further than I could ever have imagined.

    The other day I fasted for 24 hours without food or water and then did almost 6 hours of cardio before I ate.

    Loved it.

    Learning so much and re-writing the rule books!

    Got to find what god wants to do through each of us and hold on for the ride.


  208. Tom

    Morning Maria, felt inspired to update!

    Great to be back discovering where my limits are and everything has fallen back into place.

    Clear to see how I was choosing to be small again for a while, there was some resistance in keeping going with these challenges as they are pretty intense!!!…but making myself small again was way more painful haha!.

    New challenge on and absolutely loving it!

    Small self just has to come along for the ride haha

    Isn’t it nice to know what you are doing is exactly what you are meant to be doing?

    Blessing you and your life…have an amazing week!

    Stay limitless,

  209. Hi Tom, and thank you again for sharing, I’m glad to hear you’re progressing and discovering new things about yourself as you move forwards in your life.

    And thank you for the blessings – I receive that, and the same to you as well! ✨

  210. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    We really are limitless…I had to know for certain.

    Not sure why I had to push it so extremely far to truly realise this but perhaps because I had already achieved some very substantial things as my old self.

    My old belief was ‘if someone else has done it I can do it’ which was great because it allowed me to achieve some pretty formidable things but at the same time there was an underlying lack from my personal achievement.

    I can be useful again and that feels great – I can use my life experiences, good and bad as a foundation to be useful to others in my life and be the person I wanted to have in my life.

    I have arrived at this conclusion several times but there has always been doubt that there is something out there I can ‘do’ that would bring satisfaction.

    Now I know for certain, I can grow from here.

    Thank you very much for holding the space for me to unfold, just being able to share constantly without any judgement has allowed me to find my way blindly back to here!


  211. Hi Tom,

    You’re so very welcome, glad I could be of help.

    What do you mean by pushing too hard? On/with what?

    Yes, you can go anywhere you want from Here, it can be a totally new beginning, you can choose a different direction, etc. Whatever you want.

    Want to share what that might be?

  212. Tom

    Thanks Maria,

    I had to keep pushing to truly discover that I was limitless…I understood it intellectually but I didn’t know it without any doubt.

    I don’t have a concrete vision for my life, I’ve had to take a very honest look at where I am at currently and let go of the ‘success’ of my past to be able to start growing again as attachment to that has been holding me back too.

  213. Tom

    Yes! And I am capable of much more but focussing on where I was caused me to deny and ignore where I am right now.

  214. Ah, OK! Well, the best time to begin fresh is always Now, or the moment you feel intuitively guided to do something new, or when you get the green-light from Spirit on something. 😊

  215. Tom

    Yes, allowing myself to be here and being honest with both myself and others has been profound.

    Integrity and honesty are two very important values for me and I wasn’t being honest with myself.

    I had also minimised the last five years overcoming my addictions and helping my mother which are incredible useful experiences.

    I’m in no rush, I know that I’ll know what to do but this has been a very big step for me.

  216. I’m glad to hear that you see everything in a wider and more expansive way now, and by making today a fresh start towards the new chapter in your life, you will be guided what to do next, exactly when you’re meant to receive the information, or direction, it will come to you.

    After a big shift like this it’s good to make a break with the old in a ritualistic way, and one way that I recommend is by writing it down to yourself in a journal, and make a new intention of moving forwards from here as the new you, and then after you have done that; Surrender and give everything over and then do something nice and relaxing for yourself.

    By stating your new intentions with clarity and by letting go and releasing the whole matter, (taking with you the things you learned of course), now the Universe can come in and show you what the new will be about, and it will be something that is more in alignment with who you really are on a soul-level, so I’m very excited for you!

    I don’t know if you journal, but here’s an article that can be helpful to you:

  217. Tom

    Thanks Maria…

    Love that and I do journal but I am going to write a letter as that feels most right for me.

    I’m going to pick my moment as I know there is some trapped emotion that I can release too and I don’t live alone.

  218. Tom

    Thank you very much, I’ll bless you and your life in meditation later today.

  219. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    Writing that letter yesterday was powerful.

    I know what I have to do – none of which would be classed as exciting from societies perspective.

    Just laying some really solid foundations for my life to grow from.

  220. Tom

    Hi Maria,

    I’d like to open a conversation about this if possible…

    I let go of lots in my letter yesterday and it was a big step.

    Today I have gone about my business doing what needs to be done as usual.

    Cleaning the guinea pigs, washing, collecting my daughter, shopping, enjoying the day, being present.

    Then bam.

    Struck in the heart with the next part of my endurance training.

    I let go of this yesterday along with any need to achieve or do anything.

    My mind is completely confused as there is no logical or rational explanation for continuing and yet there is an overwhelming pull In body and expansiveness in heart.

    It doesn’t make any sense.

    Can we try and get to the bottom of this please?

  221. Tom

    Thanks Maria,

    Love the articles you’ve shared…I was referring to understanding the endurance training emerging yet again.

    I’m grounded and able to continue taking an objective and observational stance on goings on today.

    I Just find it really fascinating that it won’t go away, particularly after releasing it yesterday along with a huge amount of other stuff and it doesn’t make any rational or logical sense as it certainly isn’t directly useful for either me or others and requires a lot of time and energy.

    I will have a chat with the all knowing part of me to see what’s going on there in meditation later.

    Thank you very much for your response.

  222. You’re very welcome, glad I could be of help and that the articles resonated.

    You wrote “I was referring to understanding the endurance training emerging yet again. I Just find it really fascinating that it won’t go away”.

    It’s very common that the old self comes back after you have let it go, it’s all part of the transformational process, so your job is to redirect your mind back to where you want it to go, and you might most probably have to do it a thousand times every day for a while.

    Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment and your new intention and the path that you have chosen.

    It’s normal to experience the mind going back and forth for a while after you have had a huge shift, so see it as a positive thing, and give yourself a pat on the back for having self-awareness enough to see what’s happening.

    When you have understanding and awareness of what’s going on it becomes easier to come to the other side of this process. It’s a cleaning of the old that you’re in the midst of right now, and it can be quite intense.

    The most intense days after a shift like this is usually over after 1-3 days, so keep doing the work/be persistent, and you’ll soon be on the other side of this.

    Sometimes it’s over in a few hours too, depending on how much awareness you have and your level of self-awareness as well.

  223. Tom

    Thanks very much Maria,

    I completely understand what you are saying…

    Mind has been in turmoil since this morning wanting to go back to continuing learning NLP and other modalities and learning more coding languages to make money and self-improvement.

    I’m used to that kind of ego backlash and it’s easy to shift awareness away from there.

    I am still discovering about my true Self expressions and true desires it seems so please bear with me as I try to explore and explain this better…

    The desire for endurance training (and philosophy after some contemplation) doesn’t come from the same place it is deeper (mind hates them) as they both have no logical purpose other than the fact that I love them, I then have a tendency to judge them as selfish and fruitless action and reject them.

  224. Hm. I’m just wondering why you think/believe any of the things you want and like/love is “ego”?

    To love something is why you should do something, that’s the one and only reason you need for anything.

    If you love endurance training and learning about NLP and self improvement/personal growth etc, then what’s wrong with that if I may ask?

  225. Tom

    Thanks Maria,

    I am struggling to explain and the conversation is forcing me to get really clear…

    I love endurance training and I love philosophy, they both support each other and they are both very natural for me, I didn’t say they were ego.

    The resistance is because they don’t pay the bills or improve my current life situation or increase my income and aren’t immediately useful to myself or anyone.

    I just love them.

    They require huge amounts of dedication, time and energy but I feel most expanded and alive when I do them.

    That’s all I know.

  226. And that’s all you have to know, Tom!

    That’s really all you have to know.

    All we have to do in this life is to follow that which brings us joy, is interesting to us, makes us happy, piques our curiosity, or is in some other way pulling/calling us.

    It can be something that you’re passionate about, or that attracts you somehow (even if you don’t know exactly why), or that you’re passionate about, that expands you and so on.

    These things are the only thinks we need to ‘do’ – To follow those things, and then all the money stuff and results and all that, it takes care of itself.

    When the time comes for you to start shifting your consciousness related to money and income, then you will be shown and informed about that by your inner being/higher self, so our job is not to figure those things out (the ‘how’ of how it’s going to support us financially at the end), but to simply follow what is pulling us the most in each moment.

    Everything we need to fulfill our highest destiny is already included in the package so to speak (that includes money!), and this is where most people get stuck; because they can’t see where the money will come from, or how things will unfold and the results and outcomes of the things they follow, so they quit before they have even started.

    Don’t do that, don’t go into that trap, but just do what makes you happy/feel fulfilling to you and then all the other things will resolve themselves too, you will be shown everything as you take one step at a time.

    Hope this was helpful to you. It’s always easier to offer advice and help when speaking with people directly (as in private sessions).

  227. Tom

    Got it,

    Ahhhh Yes! I’ve observed how everything seems to ‘drop in’ when I’m doing these things and fear drops away.

    There is a feeling of being safe and rightness.

    The challenge for me has been continuing in spite of the resistance.

    This has been tremendously helpful thank you Maria and thank you so much for bearing with me whilst I tried to gain more clarity and explain it…

  228. Yes, and the thing is that you don’t even have to ‘do’ things related to any goals etc (unless you’re guided to do them) and the things you need will always ‘drop in’ anyway as long as you stay on the path of alignment.

    At times Life asks you to simply go for a walk, read a book, do something fun, etc, something that you ‘think’ is not going to be helpful in terms of resolving your challenges, but that’s a trap.

    The only ‘rule’ is to follow what brings you meaning and joy, what feels right for you, or that is calling you – Even if you don’t know where the money will come from.

    Sometimes big things can happen literally over night, things that we could never had imagined or predicted, and they can (and do) also often happen while you’re doing something that to the ego/limited self seems completely not related to your goals and desires at all.

    When you can relax and trust the unfolding of your life, then Life itself will reward you for that trust.

    But if you go into fear and worry and start to operate from that place within yourself, then the things you need, such as money, seems to not be there, and it feels as if they are being withheld from you by some force outside of yourself,

    But then when you see and realize what you’re doing and you bring yourself back into alignment again, then the things you need will start to flow and come to you again, as if by magic.

    So it’s essentially always up to us – where we choose to live our life from, what perspective and so on. That’s it.

    “Am I in alignment right now?” If yes, then simply just continue being that from one moment to the next and then things will always work out for you and the things you need will always be provided as well.

  229. Tom

    This has given me a huge amount of reassurance to keep going Maria, thank you so much.

    Not sure why I needed to hear it but I did.

    I also notice that I feel very empowered and able to relate and be around others when I do what I love.

    Life is really enjoyable.

    Sounds ridiculous when I write it all down that I would choose anything else.

  230. Good to hear that you’re on the right side of the process now. 👍😊

    Yes, we’re funny that way, so you just gotta love yourself even more when you at times forget who you are and are identifying with an aspect of yourself that is not meant to be the leader, but simply the joyful experiencer of this thing we call life.

  231. Tom

    Well put, there’s nothing more fascinating…

    Just contemplated how much I’ve had to let go of to arrive here now and it’s an absolute miracle I was able to even function for most of my life!

    Well done me for not dying haha!

  232. 😄

    And Now, let the new chapter begin..

    Tomorrow you will feel fabulous, I think (and if not yet, then that’s okay too! 😊).

  233. Tom

    I do feel fantastic, I feel alive and don’t want to waste a single moment.

    I also feel a bit alone, not in a sad way.

    Just that no one else I know seems to be here.

  234. That’s wonderful, and yes, there can be sadness sometimes after a big shift, you might feel a bit weepy and sensitive and even feel a sense of grief, and it’s all normal (part of the process), so if you feel sad and if you feel like crying then it’s important to allow yourself to do that.

    It’s really good to actually help push the tears out and do an ugly cry, as it helps the healing process (or the realignment process) and once you’ve cleansed the sadness out you will feel a thousand times better afterwards.

    I’m not sure if this is how you feel at the moment (both liberated/happy and at the same time a bit weepy/sad) but if you are then know that it’s totally normal and common after a shift in consciousness like the one you had.

  235. Tom

    Yes, I do feel teary.

    I’ve been in charge of a little human so an emotional release isn’t an option until later on today.

    I almost cried just because I had food and was eating yesterday.

    Today I feel very grounded with my feet firmly on the ground and my patience has increased 1000x.

    Everything I do seems slower and more considered.

    I feel like I am a little bit boring but I am fine about that and am open and relaxed.

  236. Tom

    Thanks Maria…

    I’ve had time to re-read your responses now that I have some free time.

    You said;

    ‘But if you go into fear and worry and start to operate from that place within yourself, then the things you need, such as money, seems to not be there, and it feels as if they are being withheld from you by some force outside of yourself’

    If we resist or judge any if our desires does that take us out of alignment?

    An example is that after releasing the emotion earlier today I have an overwhelming desire to drink coffee and go and lift weights at the gym.

    There is resistance to this as coffee has been non-beneficial in the past and weight lifting is something I stopped because it required a lot of energy.

    Should we indulge these desires as an exploration process?

    Not indulging or resisting them seems to take a lot of energy and cause a step out of alignment and presence.

    I hope what I have written is clear.

    Basically, I want to drink coffee and go and lift weights and I am also resisting doing so.

    If I didn’t have a daughter, there would be less fear of having to retain some form of homeostasis or equilibrium and I would just go all guns blazing!!

    Don’t feel comfortable doing that though as I am really aware of the affect I have on her too.

    Is all guns blazing the only way though?

  237. Tom

    You also wrote;

    ‘So our job is not to figure those things out (the ‘how’ of how it’s going to support us financially at the end), but to simply follow what is pulling us the most in each moment.’

    Right now, there is a pull towards drinking a coffee and lifting weights in the gym – that is fun for me.

    You also wrote;

    ‘Sometimes big things can happen literally over night, things that we could never had imagined or predicted, and they can (and do) also often happen while you’re doing something that to the ego/limited self seems completely not related to your goals and desires at all.’

    Yes, I have experienced this. My car broke down whilst taking care of my mother and it was sat on the front drive of the house, I had no money at the time.

    The next door house was for sale and someone came to view the house. They worked at a car garage and saw my car thinking they would take a chance on seeing if I wanted to sell it and knocked on my door with an offer of a cash payment for it.

    I can see that I have been scared of making mistakes and bad decisions and have not letting myself live fully – not because I am worried about what others think or feeling guilty, or perfectionism, or lack of self love, or self esteem.

    I let go of those a long time ago.

    It is because I am terrified of affecting my daughter negatively by making bad choices, being in a bad mood, being unconscious etc because of the affect my own childhood had on me.

  238. Tom

    Hi Maria,

    Really grateful to be able to refer back to our conversation over the last few days.

    I’ve just re-read your comment on having to re-direct the mind after a big shift.

    This is what I experience after my emotional release earlier.

    It was an instant massive backlash that I wasn’t expecting.

    I’ve meditated and am grounded and calm again now, that was pretty intense to be honest.

    Not sure why it occurred after letting that sadness go. But it did.

    Thank you very much for all your comments over the last few days and giving me a heads up…really really appreciate it.

  239. Tom

    Life is utterly beautiful.

    I chose to see what it wasn’t for a very long time.

    Sat observing the forest from my window, I wish everyone could see what I’m seeing and there is a small amount of sadness that everyone is missing it.

    I feel extraordinarily fortunate and appreciative.

    There doesn’t feel like anywhere to aim my appreciation so I am blessing the forest as I observe it instead and choosing joy each time there is an opportunity to choose anything less.

  240. Hi Tom, and thanks for the comments and for sharing!

    And you’re very very welcome, glad I could be of help. 😊

    You wrote “If we resist or judge any if our desires does that take us out of alignment?”

    Yes. There is no condemnation going on, no one is judging us but ourselves, and the resistance to your desires has many times to do with not feeling worthy of them, or that there is some kind of limiting belief involved, which can even be about fear of social judgment for example, what others will think etc.

    So for example the coffee and weight training urge you had;

    There is nothing wrong with neither drinking coffee or weight training/going to the gym.

    Everything in life is inherently neutral, and as long as you don’t hurt other people with your actions, then what’s the harm?

    Well, now in your case it has to do with you actually wanting to quit coffee (mostly because of your daughter?), if I have understood it right?

    Then it’s an internal conflict because of Change, that’s all, there’s a resistance to change – moving from the old ways to a new way, and that can sometimes be uncomfortable and take a little bit of wobbling and going back and forth for a while.

    You wrote “Should we indulge these desires as an exploration process?”

    Yes, and that’s what we usually do too, we go back to old habits and then we release them again, only to go back to them again, and so on.

    So it’s just a matter of redirecting yourself back to where you want to go, and then keep doing that until the new ‘sticks’ and becomes your new norm.

    You might like these articles:

    And this one might be helpful too:

    I think it would be a good idea for you to explore what the resistance is really about, why you want to quit coffee, what the fear or worry is about the whole thing etc, so that you can get more clarity on what it is that you actually want.

    You wrote “Right now, there is a pull towards drinking a coffee and lifting weights in the gym – that is fun for me.”

    OK, so what’s the ‘problem’ or issue with that?

    Sometimes these things can have to do with ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’, which are all self-imposed ‘rules’ based on limiting and false beliefs about something.

    I loved the story about your car and how it happened – it’s good to remind yourself of these things, especially at times where you might be worried about how things will work out.

    Just know that they will, and stay in that vibe, while doing the inner work to release beliefs that are not serving you.

    You wrote “It is because I am terrified of affecting my daughter negatively by making bad choices, being in a bad mood, being unconscious etc because of the affect my own childhood had on me.”

    Well, if you feel that way then it sounds like taking a break from caffeine would be a good idea. Then you would be able to evaluate how you are without it (mood etc), and then after ten days or something you can make a new choice again.

    So why not just take a break and then evaluate if you’d like to continue being off of it, or if you want to go back. The small self makes such a big thing out of nothing sometimes! 😄

  241. Tom

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you very much for your comments…

    You’re absolutely right – they were just thoughts and the decision to not indulge was easy for me in the end – I much prefer being grounded and calm.

    It also makes my mouth really dry and is counter-productive around my training, particularly whilst dry fasting as it acts a diuretic and drains all the water out of me.

    I am a better Father, human and endurance athlete without it – no brainer and the very mild and fleeting ‘pleasure’ just isn’t worth it for me.

    For me decisions are easy to make when I focus on who I know I am capable of being, my values and my highest potential – things have shifted fast today and have continued with my training.

    There was a huge amount of internal resistance to get out there (just thoughts) but I see that as confirmation that I’m heading in the right direction.

    This is my work and I love it – every time I go to work I break down another boundary and grow/gain understanding.

    I learn about myself the same as you learn about yourself through your work and I love every second of it.

    There’s also a new ‘part’ of me emerging/growing that see’s a future supporting other elite individuals achieve exceptional things – very exciting to see where that goes.

    Can’t thank you enough for all your help over the last few weeks (not actually certain of the timeframe)

    Thank you!

  242. Tom

    Yes! Growth…

    Also, with regards to money I am spending some time over the weekend removing any expectations and preferences that are blocking my wealth.

    I know I am capable of handling whatever comes my way and I know my worth.

    Money always finds it’s way to me very easily but at some point during my recovery I started holding onto some weird beliefs about earning.

    I got in my own way there.

    I love money.

  243. Money is fabulous, yes, and we should all have plenty. Important to clean those beliefs and vibes away that does not belong to you so that you can align with all of life’s goodness and blessings that belongs to you by divine right.

  244. Tom


    I was letting my resentment towards the debt I accrued whilst living like a playboy block it too.

    I want financial freedom again and that debt will be paid off in no time!

  245. Tom

    I have blessed both our lives with abundance and wealth during meditation this morning.

    I love my new villa with a pool.

    Have a great Sunday.

  246. Tom

    One fascinating thing that has happened is that gratitude aimed somewhere else (apart from thanking people of course) doesn’t fit for me right now.

    I use to write and speak;

    ‘thank you for the x,y or z’

    But that doesn’t currently feel right for me.

    So I am currently expressing gratitude as appreciation and blessing the goodness that is already in my life.

    For example;

    As opposed to thanking god or the universe for the house I am currently in I bless and appreciate it instead.

    This feels more natural for me.

  247. Thanks for the blessing Tom 😊 May it boomerang back to you as well, may you be blessed and surprised with wonderful things in the next few days, things that you could never had seen coming!

    Regarding what you wrote in your last comment;

    Yes, that’s a powerful way to call in even more – To be grateful for what you already have.

    Or to just show and express appreciation for it (things, people, your home etc), that too is a high vibration way to live your life that only makes life even better.

    I love to call it to live a prayerful life;

    Where you have the communication and a great relationship with God/higher self/infinite mind, and where you appreciate and show/express gratitude for your life and what you have, as well as projecting thought power towards an ever brighter future, as we are always growing and evolving into more.

    Have a wonderful Sunday you too! ☀️

  248. Tom

    Thanks very much Maria…

    Love it…Already won fifteen pounds on a scratch card haha!

    Excited and nervous about this new chapter and what’s unfolding.

    I don’t feel ready for what I’m inspired to do in all honesty but I’m going for it anyway!

    Big changes.

    Incredible future.

    Game on.

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