Can an illness or crisis be a catalyst for awakening?

Questions about crisis, diseases and awakening:

My whole life changed due to illness and I can never go back to the person I used to be.

This disease is called Morgellons and has the ability to make you feel like you’re being controlled by something spiritual.

It’s is manmade and you find yourself misdiagnosed as delusional.

Everything about it is like something has taken over your mind and controlling everything in your life.

Despite having proof of this disease and feeling really ill the symptoms are unbelievable so you find your completely alone and everything you say about it makes you sound as if you’ve lost it except for other sufferers no one is going to take you seriously!

I know this disease is %100 real!

Why do you think this is happening to me and how can I ever heal from the emotional, mental and physical symptoms?

I’ve tried so hard to understand why this horrific disease has come into my life and changed everything.”


Another reader wrote:

“I have a tremendous problems with my sleep, so my body always feels very tired and I can’t go to work because I really feel no energy for that.

These problems with sleep began even before my awakening – when I was 19 (and the awakening started when I was 23).

To be honest these problems were one of the main catalysts for the awakening to begin in the first place, because I truly felt that I will go crazy if I left the situation as it was, that’s why I started to meditate and question everything about my life.

During the times when I already slept really bad I studied at the university and at the last year of the studying the awakening started to happen and so it added a lot more pain to my shoulders. Really a lot.

Then after I got my education I have worked a little more than two years.

I’ve tried throughout the years to find a medical reason for this problem and here is what I came to:

1. My mother had the same problems with a bad sleeping when she was maybe 37 and until 43.

She tried a lot of medical stuff and in some way they helped her.

Not really good, but at least she got a little help from the medicines.

The thing is she has what I call a weak nervous-system and I got a lot of her genetic makeup straight from her.

My father used to drink a lot of alcohol when I was a child and it hurt me in the childhood years.

But after the awakening started all the weak nerves I’ve got from my mother and my difficult childhood began to dissolve and one day I fully understood that this person I used to call myself is completely not who I really am.

And I never was it (person with a weak nervous-system) in the first place.

Recently I have so powerfully and clearly began to feel that I am not living my true life.

It was like a lightning of the intuition, so very strong and overwhelming!

So now I have a hope that these sleep problems will fade away as soon as I come back to the true flow of my real life.

And here is the second conclusion that makes me to think this way:

2. During my 13 years long sleep problems I have tried all possible ways to somehow figure it all out.

But it never worked. Never.

All the possible sorts of medicines never worked and I tried different medical tests like the level of sugar in the blood, different types of hormone tests, pills from psychiatrists, meetings with psychologists and psychotherapists, many types of soothing teas and so on and on.

Doctors learned how my mind works using their special medical equipment and they just say “your mind is fine, we don’t know why the hell you can’t sleep… Maybe try the next pills?”.

(It is their’s favorite phrase, but now I don’t believe them anymore).

The only thing the medicine can help me with is to ease the tiredness my body feels.

But not ANY true help with sleeping… So I use, but very rarely, some pills to help me sleep.

So here’s the main point of my letter:

You have really a lot of experience of working with people who are in the awakening process, and so here’s my question:

Have you ever heard something about similar situations?

Is it possible that life (Truth) in some strange sense may send to us such a strange types of diseases just in the purpose to awaken us?

Especially if it has chosen us before we even chose it (Truth).

I mean, can it be that some souls are simply destined to it or don’t know how to find the right answers?

I already felt when I was younger that something very significant is missing and nothing or no-thing from the outside can change that.

And I still feel I am that type of soul who simply sees life as an empty violent joke.

It doesn’t matter what your advice is to my situation, but I am very grateful to you for all that you do for others and for me.”

My reply:

A crisis of some sort can definitely be the catalyst for an awakening.

It doesn’t have to be about illness or disease, it can be about anything, such as for example a:

  • Financial crisis.
  • Religious/spiritual crisis.
  • Existential crisis.
  • Relationship/divorce crisis.
  • Death crisis such as losing a child/loved one.
  • Addictions, depression, and so on.

Whatever crises we go through in life they always prompts us to reevaluate our values and examine our current way of life as well as questioning the fundamental principles of our life.

They ask us to go deeply into our true identity (the Truth of who we really are) and a crisis is always an opportunity for change, although when in the midst of it it might be difficult to see it that way.

There is always something to be learned and gained from every crisis and the question is if we will see it or dismiss/not see it.

Even if it’s difficult to see it when in the midst of a crisis, our suffering always serves our awakening and human development, and if you can see it, your life will change forever (for the better).

Any crises or issues that we don’t resolve, however, can lead to weeks, months and even years of unsettled and unfulfilling life.

A crisis naturally acts as a catalyst for change.

Not everyone grows from crises though, they also destroy some.

Not because it’s their nature, but because the person is not open to change, or willing to see the gift or opportunity for growth in the crisis.

Why someone gets a disease such as the one mentioned in the first question or why someone suffers from sleeping disorder/difficulties no one can say.

I can only say why I went through my difficulties and the crises that I have gone through in my life, and the reason for that is because I learned and grew from them.

Actually I can say that one of the worst crises I ever went through also turned out to be one of the greatest blessings to me because without it I would not had finished my awakening process.

I needed the crisis to take me all the way.

So whatever you are going through, somehow it’s what you need for your development, but why something happens to someone and not others I can’t tell.

It’s like asking why children get cancer or why things happen to people overall. 

  • Why do bad things happen to good people?
  • Why do good things happen to bad people?
  • Why do good things happen to good people?
  • Why do bad things happen to bad people?

Who can really say why things happen.

It’s all a question of our own inner knowing,  judgment or sense of justification and entitlement and so on.

I don’t know why kids get cancer and die, but I do know that the child’s parents will be able to come to peace (and understanding) with it if they grow from the experience.

Same with a financial crisis, an accident, or whatever crisis it may be in a persons life.

Only if they grow with the experience and from the experience will they ever transcend the crisis.

It’s very individual and each person has to find the “gift” or “lesson” in the crisis themselves (or by getting more deep guidance and help with increasing their awareness). 

Two people can have the same disease or crisis and only one of them might grow from the experience, it depends on many things, such as mindset, your spiritual and personal growth, and so on.

In any case we can be either the victim or the victor, and the victor is a person who has a greater sense of acceptance to what is and a greater sense of awareness for what needs to be changed or done.

Sometimes a shift in awareness and a deeper understanding is enough and from that place of being the crisis or illness is easier to manage, work through, and ultimately heal.

But sometimes a person is not able to consider or even imagine that there might be a valuable lesson in the crisis or trauma and they reject any suggestions that someday they will be be able to recall the experience as a necessary step in their development.

Looking back to all my own difficult times and the crises I’ve been through I can clearly see why they happened and why it had to happen the way it did (and it was all perfect).

It may be difficult to see that what you’re going through now one day will be something you look back on and see that it was the best thing that could ever happen or that is was one of the most significant happenings in your life.

No one wants a crisis, obviously, and no one wishes a crisis upon another, but they do happen to all of us at some point in our lives, and there’s always something we gain from them.

Every crisis we go through teaches us how much strength there was deep down inside of us, even at times when we felt utterly weak and powerless.

The crisis or disease is a necessary catalyst that will help cause the shift to a more fulfilling way of life, but what the specific “lesson” or “gift” is for you personally I can’t tell (at least not through an article).

So to answer the first question:

Why do you think this is happening to me and how can I ever heal from the emotional, mental and physical symptoms?”

I don’t know why it has happened to you, but I do know that once you get through this difficult time in your life you will be able to look back in hindsight and see it as one of the most important experiences of your life.

Healing sessions can help you heal from this too and help you deal with it in a more conscious and empowering way. (Book a session or healing package here)

To respond to the second question:

“Is it possible that life (Truth) in some strange sense may send to us such a strange types of diseases just in the purpose to awaken us?”

Yes, this is one of the ways Life does its thing.

It has been my experience, and I also see this all the time in other peoples lives too.

What I also see is that some grow from it (or it functions as a catalyst for their awakening) while others don’t grow or learn anything from their crisis or illness.

That’s where our choice lies really, it’s in our openness and awareness, and our development as a human being.

I see people that are on a more dense ego level of consciousness to stay on that level, while people who open up to spirituality and personal growth are more prone to evolve to a higher place in their lives (and in consciousness).

Lastly I want to say that I have no advice to give to anyone who suffers from the disease called Morgellons because I don’t know anything about it.

I know someone who has a type of Vertigo though (very severe level), and she has suffered from it for over a year and got misdiagnosed and so on, just like you.

She was sent here and there and none of the doctors knew anything about it so they simply said she was burned out and prescribed tranquilizers and depression medicine to her.

Luckily she didn’t take them (because she felt the diagnose was wrong) but instead she started to do research herself and contacted the newspapers and so on to share her story and to bring awareness to the illness.

She also started to do medical Yoga and other things to help herself heal from this disease and she is slowly getting better. 

So my suggestion to you is to connect with people that has been healed from what you’re suffering from and seek advice and support from them.

Refrain from going to forums and websites etc where people only talk about how much they suffer.

You already know about the suffering, now the focus needs to shift to healing and recovery.

Instead of feeling as a victim you need to become a victor, and that choice is entirely up to you, because regardless of the severity of your illness, you will be much more able to deal with it if you stop asking why it happened to you and instead start asking what you can do to help heal yourself. 

So write down things you can do that you think will promote healing and start doing those things and then from there other things, people and answers will start to unfold. 

To the other person who suffers from sleeping disorder (or difficulties) I can tell that those things do sometimes happen in the awakening process but they are temporary and more cyclic.

I don’t know if you have recognized if there are phases where you sleep well or not, or if you are constantly having trouble sleeping?

Since you have tried all kinds of things already these suggestions might sound obvious to you but I’m going to mention them anyway because many people are unaware even if they may be obvious to you/us:

  • If you drink coffee (or other caffeinated beverages), stop completely.

Within a week or two you will sleep much much better and deeper and you will have more dreams as well.

  • Alcohol also disrupts the sleep.

It’s a good idea to refrain from that too for a period at least to see how your sleep improves when you stay away from alcohol.

  • Stop eating sugar and sugary food.

And don’t eat your dinner too late (stop eating at least 3 hours before you go to bed).

  • Exercise in the morning and not in the evening since exercise can give you more energy.

And if you don’t exercise at all, then begin. At least 30 minutes each day.

  • Same with meditation; don’t meditate in the evening.

Try to do it as early in the day as possible since meditation too can give you more energy.

And if you meditate ‘too much’ then stop doing it completely for a while and see if it helps. 

Hope this was helpful to you, and please feel very welcome to share your thoughts in the comments below.

fog will clear
Keep moving forward in the direction of Truth. One day the fog will clear up and the sun will shine on your life again.


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  1. Volodymyr

    Hello, Maria! Thanks for your wise reply.

    The strangest thing is that yesterday some new fresh understanding about my sleep problems came to me from the inside heart territory.

    And believe me or not after I got those answers I clearly knew exactly what you will write to my question.

    I think that must be a good sign of my progressing along the path.

    The thing is yesterday I was crying because of releasing the rest of old self wounds and during that time I understood what and why all this is happening to me (I mean sleep problems).

    It happened in a strange way: in the time of crying I heard very loudly the voice of my soul (Life) tell me:

    “See the lessons! See the lessons, learn them and then – CHERISH THEM!”

    The first lesson (the main in my situation, because I was always the person who didn’t trust the universe and have been too closed for the life to manage my path) was TRUST THE UNIVERSE.

    So I heard the words my spirit was talking to me:

    “You were always broken, and now is’t even worse – you are almost completely lost, not knowing at all what is the purpose and the vision for your life, besides you have these health problems plus almost dead old identity!”

    Then the voice added: “Do you believe that I (universe) can resurrect you to a completely new life and purpose that you have now no clue about?”

    I was still crying, but I felt inside the full and complete acceptance sincere answer so I said loudly while wiping my tears:

    “Yes, I trust you fully, I do believe you fully and I am at last ready to give up all my worries about that situation. So I’m leaving it all to you! And I know that you have that ability to give me completely new life! And I KNOW that you will figure it all out. You really have that power because my own experience has already proved it to me million times!”

    So that was the lesson of complete trust to the universe.

    Then when I stopped crying I looked at my past and for the first time in my life clearly saw ALL THE BLESSINGS which sleep problems have already brought to my life:

    1. Patience
    2. Compassion
    3. Wisdom of understanding other people’s suffering and the ability to support them.
    4. To not feel a guilt or a need to prove something to others about my situation.

    Because a lot of people simply cannot understand your health problems so they try to hurt you with their so called decisions to your problem just looking at you like you’re a person who is an idiot wasting his life pretending to be unhealthy.

    Even that kind of people exist around me, believe me. In fact it’s a sad thing, but now it doesn’t bother me anymore:)

    5. Accepting the life with all of its paradoxes without a worry or false conceptual trying-to-figure-it-all-out thought patterns.
    6. Cherishing life
    7. I learned how to feel happy even when you are at the very bottom.
    8. To be grateful for everything.
    9. And much, much more…

    And about coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, too much internet and so on I can say I’m 100 % sure it’s not my situation.

    I have tried a lot of times those things already and they didn’t work.

    Conclusion: with each new day I feel that the rest of my inner painful wounds are going to be healed soon and I fully believe that one day I will sleep again very-very sweetly, exactly like a little child.

    Truth only needs time to fix me and in some (maybe not very close) future it will be like: BOOOOOOM! “Oh I’m healthy again! I’m renewed! Thanks god I survived all that hell (and then the smile will come to my face)

    Good luck to everyone, guys!
    Stay strong!

    It is our responsibility to be strong!

    And of course a tremendous portion of unconditional love to our angel Maria.

    Maria, – we cherish you very very very very much!

    Good night to everyone!

  2. Thanks for commenting Volodymyr!

    I’m glad to hear you’re in a better place within yourself and that things are moving forward for you.

    It sounds like you came to a place of true surrender in your life, so now things will be able to progress for you.

    Keep staying in trust and do what you’re guided to do in each moment (this is very important).

    Wishing you all the best, and do keep us updated on how things go.

  3. Volodymyr

    Thanks, Maria!
    Yes, it is true. Now I surrender not with a struggle but with a feeling of a deep relief. Last days I often had like an intuitive feeling that I’m just slowly coming back home, so there is nothing to worry about. Very strange for me, but also very lighty and full of ease. It looks like resistance to the process has gone away and yesterday nearly an hour after I wrote the comment to your topic I cried again but it was like: “Oh my god, I am leaving all those old mind thought patterns, ideas, neurotic programming etc!” Then I said to myself: “How really very very sweet and saint this inner death is! I love it and I cherish it. Thank you, Life, that you have given me such an opportunity! I love you! Unconditionally!”
    Thanks, Maria, of course I’ll be focusing on the present moment and its gifts, that’s for sure!
    And I’ll try to keep you all updated on how things are happening.
    Wishing you wealth on all the levels of your being, Maria!
    And have-a-nice-day message to everyone!

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