We live in a culture that, by and large, is not comfortable with feelings and people expressing themselves and their thoughts.

Unless we can watch it from a distance like on TV in reality shows or on social media and the Internet where anybody can voice their opinions (sometimes in harmful ways) while staying anonymous.

When we don’t honor ourselves and express our true feelings and thoughts, the flow of Life gets blocked and we begin to feel more and more out of sync with ourselves and the people around us.

A lot of the disconnect has to do with the beliefs people have about feelings and emotions.

In some circles ‘negative’ feelings are wrong and should be avoided at all cost, in some other circles you’re not suppose to defend yourself or speak up for yourself because that’s considered to ‘come from the ego’ (says their ego!).

And God forbid if you show any kind of vulnerability, that’s a big no-no for some people (mostly men), and oh, if you’re a woman you should not be too sure of yourself or be too outspoken etc. etc. etc.

Human beings at large are so full of silliness, don’t you think?

All this just to avoid feelings!

When was the last time you laughed at yourself and your own silliness?

Because we’re all silly at times! 😊 And it’s okay! Just be kinder to yourself instead of holding yourself in a straitjacket of perfection.

It’s such a relief to be able to see this and not take yourself so incredibly serious all the time.

So my invitation to you today is to think about these things and ponder how you can become better at expressing your true self.

You could for example;

• Acknowledge your feelings and express them immediately to someone if you feel they have trampled all over you or crossed a line or done something else that made you feel like you need to put things straight.

The truth is that we don’t speak up because we’re afraid of what others might think of us, so if you can get over that hurdle by just doing it, you’re showing yourself that you love and respect yourself.

• Don’t be afraid of confrontation or conflict because usually it’s not that big of a deal once you’ve voiced your opinion or expressed your feelings and thoughts anyway.

Allow yourself to be a whole human being who feel deeply, think deeply, and show up fully for both yourself and for others.

Because we all have depth, we have just been trained and programmed to not show the deeper aspects of ourselves so feelings becomes ‘scary’ and ‘wrong’.

Feel your feelings and be a whole and healthy version of yourself that is emotionally open and available.

When you’re emotionally liberated and available you’re also creating a space for others to be free around and towards you, and that’s how you create healthy relationships with other people.

Having friends that allow you to express your full emotional range without being scared and uncomfortable is extremely important for our overall well-being.

How can you expect to feel the good stuff in life really deeply if you don’t allow all feelings to come and go and be acknowledged?

It doesn’t mean wallowing in them, actually the opposite happens when you allow yourself to feel deeply;

The feelings – whatever feelings they are – just flow through you naturally and freely so there’s no obstruction that takes you away from the flow.

You’re very much present in the moment and not stuck in your mind regretting all the things you didn’t say or express.

“I should have.. ”, “Oh, the next time I’ll.. ”, “and when she says, then I’ll say..”, etc.

Just say what you feel immediately, be kind but don’t censor or edit yourself too much either.

That way the feelings don’t get stuck in your system and you can just move on with your life.

And if the person you’re expressing yourself to is emotionally mature and available too they will acknowledge your feelings without making a big deal out of it, yet respecting and honoring your self-expression fully.

My invitation to you today is to ponder these things and see if any of it resonates with you:

• How can you show the world more of who you really are? What specific things can you do to show up more as the real you?
• Where can you lower your guard more and open up more to other people?
• Is there someone in your life that you need to have a talk with that you’ve postponed because it feels uncomfortable? Maybe it’s time to have that talk.
• What beliefs do you have regarding showing feelings? And how can you change them so that the fuller, deeper version of you comes more out to the forefront of your self-expression?
• Is there someone you’re pretending to be all positive and upbeat with, when in reality you’re not? Then maybe it’s time to drop the mask and tell them how you really feel.

And lastly,

Is there a person in your life that expressed themselves to you that you then rejected, ignored, avoided, or even ridiculed when they shared their feelings and thoughts with you?

If so, why not contact that person and apologize for your insensitivity and start the conversation anew?

This time with and open mind and heart that is willing to listen, hear and really see the other person.

It’s so freeing to open up like this to life, and when you do, life will open up to you too!

“…and that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength.” – Audre Lorde

Yes, that’s me in the pic! 😊 It’s from a time many years ago when I lived in Norway and published an article called “All feelings come and go (let them)“.