Feeling caught between a rock and a hard place spiritually
My God, these moments, how they come and go while we keep reaching new levels of consciousness.
When a new plateau in our awareness is about to be reached, the ego-side of us takes such hold, that we feel we are stuck between a rock and a hard place – spiritually -.
We feel held back by some invisible force and while knowing what it is all about because we have gone through them like a hundred times before, there are moment when we just want to scream out loud. And some of us do.. 🙂
I had one of those days yesterday.
Feeling stuck in the space between love and fear, knowing that I wasn’t stuck at all. I felt stuck, because I though I was. My attitude, the lack of trust, and my own thoughts that I was using to scare myself with, those were the reasons why I felt as if I was being played by God himself. Like a cat playing with a mouse. All happening in my mind.
While we know, we know, that the most productive way to solutions comes from being connected to Peace first, we are still having times in our evolution experiencing being on a ego-level, kicking and screaming to a God that ego thinks is outside of ourselves. While knowing it’s not true at all.
I was so angry, so furious with God and I just wanted to cry. “Phleeeeeeaze God, why can’t you just help me with this f****** thing??! What part of DESIRE don’t you understaaand??Aaaaargh..!!!” (Yes, I used those kinds of words, I was very, very angry… 😉 (and as if God was some person outside of myself..)
And I knew, while I was doing this kind of ego-based “prayer” – LOL – that it’s not attracting any solutions to me. I knew I was only fueling the law of attraction to bring me more to feel furious and sad about. The stronger the feeling, the stronger the attraction. And boy, were there some intense feelings involved…
So, there was a lot of anger and feelings of hopelessness involved, and later that night (yesterday) I came to a place of relief again, by forcing myself to take a step into Peace instead. Going from having one foot in the new awareness (God), and one foot in the old (ego), I decided to let go of the trying and struggle. The trying so hard to bring forth a solution, coming from a place of desperation and motivation based in fear, to a place of embracing the space of uncertainty, to honestly say to myself; “I don’t know” and accept it. Accepting the fact that I simply don’t have a clue. –Knowing that God has. The universe knowing about it all, and is waiting for me to relax, so I can let it in. My real job was to let it in.
We know all this, don’t we. If you are on a spiritual path, I’m sure you know all about these moments 🙂
So, I woke up this morning, feeling a little bit better, but I still immediately started to ask myself “How am I going to fix this, what am I going to do?” etc, with a fearful vibration behind my words. And I just stopped right there. And I decided that today I’m just going to let it all go. Because I know that’s the way to go.
Made my morning coffee and opened up my email inbox and read my usual daily inspirational quotes from Abraham Hicks, Bob Proctor, Brian Tracy, TUT and some others, and I got the message loud and clear. What really spoke to my heart was an email I got from Kaia, a new member of the Agape Staff, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. At that moment I reeeally let all my concerns and worries go, and I decided to use this day to contemplate, pray (the right way; “Thank you God for helping me”:-) and meditate, connect with nature and refuse to even think about any solutions, problems or anything.
I want to share parts of the email:
“…..nothing is more important than putting God first.
Many of you know I’m actually new here at Agape Media International. Can I share something personal with you? Prior to being here, my consulting business had dropped off due to the economy, and I had taken on a client who did not share my spiritual values because it paid my bills. I was stressed, and unhappy.
I continued to seek work and put out over two hundred resumes. I never missed a networking dinner. But, to be honest, I wasn’t showing up as regularly for my meditation practice. Really, I was afraid that if I didn’t spend every waking second trying to find work, I would lose my home…….
………….And what happened was a cosmic shift for me. I realized I wasn’t putting God first. I wasn’t truly trusting the benevolence of the Universe to assist me. I deepened my attention to my prayers and meditation, and I decided to just trust God and relax!
So one night (trying to get better at relaxing), I took my towel and joined a friend at the hot tub in my complex where I met one of AMI’s beautiful staff, and we started talking. She learned what I do, and said, hey, you should come in for a meeting at AMI. It was the happiest job interview of my life… and now I actually work for Michael Beckwith! Is God good or what!!
Miracles happen in your life when you put God first. I wanted to share that story with you, because I urge you, especially if you are worried about finances or employment the way that I was, to join Michael and Rickie at the Revelation Conference that starts on Thursday. You want to get your consciousness higher so that you start living your life from the field of attraction that will call in the biggest blessings God has in mind for you. You want to shift yourself to the vibration of peace, of love, of joy, and then watch as your problems dissolve when you put God first. You might even meet your new employer in a hot tub!
Whatever you are going through in your life, remember, God is more powerful”.
–How many times haven’t we experienced the same thing?
Still we are experiencing this over and over again. It’s a part of our growing process, I know, but still, it amazes me that we often do things even while being aware of it not leading to a good place 🙂
The trick is to just let go (and let God), but some days when having these spiritual temper tantrums it’s really hard..
Anyway; my whole day (every day should be dedicated to this:-) has been dedicated to putting God first, to make the connection to my inner being most important, and every time a thought has come up about the “how’s” of things, I have said “It’s not my job to make anything happen. My job is purely to tend to my energy and LET the answers come to me – God is taking care of biz ” and when I have said it, like a thousand times today :-), a sense of relief has come over me.
–And as good ol’ Abe says; it’s the relief we want. That’s where Peace can come in and take hold. (The last part was my words:-)
I wanted to share this, because I know many of you are experiencing these same things as I am from time to time, because I get emails about it. It’s important to know that it’s OK to have these moments, and that there is a “way out”.
– And I also want to share with you that so far my day has been absolutely fantastic! The letting-go-thing that God promotes, it really works:-)
Do try 🙂 Put God first today.