When You Have Tried All Your Own Ways: Give God a Chance!
Spiritual Surrender is really a process and it usually takes some time to go through it, depending on how stubborn we are concerning our own ways:-)
I’m a really action oriented person, very driven, and I have had hundreds (yes, my goal-lists has been HUGE to say the least!) of goals and plans that I have worked like a crazy woman to reach and achieve.
With PASSION I want to add; I have felt driven by my Soul, yes, absolutely, but those things I have done has only been ‘pointers’ to where I am now, I can see that very clearly now.
It was necessary for me to do all those things, and part of it has been a test from God to see if I’m fully committed, if I can be trusted with his guidance, if I persevere when things get tough (because God will NOT have his work done by cowards!) and to see where my heart really is.
Let me say that I feel God is very pleased and delighted with me 🙂
As I mentioned, I did everything with God, and with the best intentions, but still; I have relied too much on my own power and understanding.
I tossed those goal lists and vision boards and what not out last year as I have shared with you before, and it took me a few more times to surrender to God and then take back the control, until now – what has happened with me and in my the last couple of months has changed me forever; and I thank God for all of it!
I’m trying to find words to describe how deep my trust in God is now, but it’s not possible.
Let me just share with you that if you are anything like I used to be and you have done all you can – even if you have felt you did it with God as your partner or “co-creator” as I did – and you find yourself realizing that nothing has basically worked, then take my word for it and give a sincere chance to God, and realize – really realize – that you can not figure out your own ways, it’s not possible, it’s on a completely different level that you’re conscious mind can’t even begin to comprehend.
Let go and Let God – surrender to God’s will and see what happens.
When the ego tries to interfere in your process (which it will!) just keep praying, meditating and saying to the ego that you’re only interested in what God has in store for you, and that you’re with God and God only.
There is no room for stressful thoughts or a desperate need to make changes or fix things, it’s just not who you are anymore. Say it out loud, with authority, and then turn back your attention on God.
God knows of all your things, thoughts and feelings already, and he has a plan for you, but first you need to give him your whole heart; all of it.
E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G: Put it in his hands and DO NOT take it back.
Give God a chance to do his thang! 🙂
“Surrendering to God means letting go of attachments to outcomes, but it doesn’t mean that while God is taking care of the world outside of you so to speak, you are spending your time sitting on the couch watching sit-coms. It means that when you leave the outer circumstances to God; you will become sincerely concerned with what happens on the inside. It’s a time of integration and understanding of wisdom. Surrender is not passive at all” ~Maria Erving
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Thank you Maria for guiding me to this article too.
I will let go of everything and wait trustingly for his answer for the next thing to do while knowing he is working in me.
So even though the forgiveness is the crucial key for freedom to be who he made me to be and that’s what I’m waiting for the guidance for, I can simultaneously grow in all the other areas like faith and letting to, is that right ? At least that’s what I’m going through this new season.
Im loving listening to tele classes. The power of faith. The power of words.
Glad to hear you like the Teleclasses 😊
Yes, do whatever you feel guided to do in every moment, that’s all we ever have to do, and follow that which brings you most joy and happiness and what feels most right.
Here’s a link to article that can be helpful to you:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=inner+guidance
Thank you Maria.
I will wait patiently while learning how to be receptive to his calls.
Overall I feel peace living in a new place, when I get to be alone because that’s the time I spend with God.
However, I still feel ashamed of not being able to communicate casually ( every day things or superficial conversations ) with other people. Is this also coming from unwillingness to forgive?
Or do I just need to grow on self worthiness and accept that I’m not friendly.
Also I still get triggered with what my that friend says even when they are nothing offensive itself and, feel disappointed about the fact that I’m not patient enough and sad that I got triggered.
But I choose to trust He is working in me.
Maybe you’re just a bit shy when meeting new people, being in a new place and all?
And maybe you’re just not a people-person, there’s nothing wrong with that (as long as you treat people with respect of course).
About feeling ashamed;
Guilt is when we violate our own internal rules and shame is when we violate the rules of society, or our culture.
So ask yourself who’s standards you’re following and holding yourself accountable to? Your own, or what society/your culture expects of and from you?
Usually when we ask ourselves if we should do something, or quit/stop doing something etc, the answers are in the question itself,
Like for example when you asked “..or do I just need to grow on self worthiness and accept that I’m not friendly”.
The answer is most of the time Yes, so yes, you might need to work on your sense of self-worth, and also accept yourself fully the way you are, but of course if you don’t like being the way you are with people, then you can of course work on becoming friendlier to people.
There’s always room for self-improvement in the areas where we are not totally happy with the way we are, if we have anger issues etc, or things like that.
No one in their right mind likes to be that way, so if you don’t like yourself the way you are then become friendlier then.
It’s all your choice, and this is the most important aspect of all this;
It’s your CHOICE to continue being unwilling to forgive (as that’s the main thing for you at the moment), but it’s also your choice to forgive, no one can do that for you, and I’m not here to bend your arm – you do whatever you want to do, but I can’t help you if you are not willing to help yourself.
Not to diminish your pain, but if people in the Holocaust can forgive, then I think you and I can forgive people and things that has happened to us too.
I learned about forgiveness in my early twenties and ever since then I have been able to forgive just as quickly I know God forgives me when I have done something that is not in alignment with who I am or who I know myself to be in the depth of my being.
You have to find that within yourself, all I can do is to point you in the right direction so to speak, and I’m not in the business of trying to convince or force people to forgive.
If you don’t want to forgive then that’s your choice, I can’t help you with that or ‘make’ you do anything (nor am I interested in that).
Here’s articles that can help you:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=forgiveness
https://mariaerving.com/letting-go-of-your-story
https://mariaerving.com/forgiveness-and-letting-go-of-the-past
https://mariaerving.com/let-go-and-move-on
https://mariaerving.com/let-go-of-old-story-live-happy-life
And being triggered and easily offended by things that your friend says has to do with you being in the wrong identity; you think/believe you are the small self.
The ego self is very fragile and easily offended and sensitive to being exposed etc.
In other words, it’s very involved and trapped in the emotional aspect of things, and when you think you are the small, limited self, then you also think (believe) that your emotions are who you are.
Here are articles that can help you shift away from that and into who you really are:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=self-awareness
Love this article. Surrendering can be very challenging especially because I’m the type of person who wants to KNOW everything and take action right away.
I’m at a point in my life where I quit my corporate job so I can be a self worth coach. I’ve helped several people so far but financial stability is rocky. I’m trying not to go back to making decisions out of fear. How do I surrender if I still need to pay bills while I’m fulfilling my purpose? Do I go back to the pattern of working a 9-5 job (which doesn’t resonate with me) or surrender EVERYTHING to God like you said and trust that he provides?
Hi Karen,
Thanks for commenting, I’m glad to hear that the article spoke to you. 😊
Yes, it’s a process and something you do over and over again until you have cleared away all the beliefs that are in the way for you to trust the unfolding of your path.
It can be challenging in the beginning when you start surrendering, but each time you do it it also teaches you and brings you even closer to – or one with – that which we call ‘God’.
These articles will be helpful to you:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=surrender
And here’s a couple of my older articles where I write about the importance of both the action-phase, and the phase where there’s nothing for us to do:
https://mariaerving.com/honor-low-energy-days
https://mariaerving.com/honor-your-high-energy-days
And these too will be helpful to you:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=waiting+room
There’s so many processes you go through when you’re building and creating something like a new career path, and especially if you’re venturing out on your own and becoming self-employed so there are so many things I can say and speak on – I could write a whole book about it! 😄
But if you have any specific questions that relates directly to what you’re in the midst of or struggling with right now then please feel very welcome to elaborate and I’ll do my best to help you.
About wanting to KNOW everything; Yes, I know what that’s like too; that too is part of the process; we go through these periods of frustration and fed up-ness so that we can learn about trust and patience etc.
Here’s a couple of other articles that can be helpful to you as well:
https://mariaerving.com/survive-spiritual-path-no-job
https://mariaerving.com/survive-spiritual-path-without-job
You mentioned that you’re a self-worth coach, and what we ‘are’ is something we evolve and grow into becoming, and finances are many times connected with self-worth, so it’s important that you do the work on yourself that you also help your clients with.
That’s the way we come to mastering our craft so to speak, so that we can live our message that we want to convey to others and the world.
So I would recommend that you do that too; to really look into your beliefs and belief-systems when it comes to money, making money, having money and so on, as it is also many times connected to our sense of self-worth and self-value.
Here’s an article that will be helpful to you in releasing any fears you have connected to your ability to make money (or the fear of not having enough):
https://mariaerving.com/stalk-your-fear
And here’s more articles that will be helpful as well:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=abundance
Lastly, you wrote:
“How do I surrender if I still need to pay bills while I’m fulfilling my purpose? Do I go back to the pattern of working a 9-5 job (which doesn’t resonate with me) or surrender EVERYTHING to God like you said and trust that he provides?”
In realizing your dream or vision, the things you need, they are already included (people, money, ideas, resources etc), so the work is really about releasing everything that is in the way for you to fully believe and trust that.
If you don’t fully believe that your calling can support you financially, then honor your beliefs and do what you need to do to be able to pay the bills, while you also at the same time are pursuing your calling (and do the inner work on releasing the beliefs that hold you back from fully believing and trusting as well).
If you have the trust in place already, then it’s all green lights on your calling and the direction of that, but do honor your true beliefs in all this.
And always keep the conversation going with God/the Universe/your higher self, who is always showing you the right moves and actions to take in every moment.
Here’s some articles that can help you with that:
https://mariaerving.com/?s=divine+guidance
Thank you Maria! I’ll have to read these articles you recommended and take notes. Always in gratitude for the wisdom you share.
You are so very, very welcome, Karen – Glad I could help! 😊