How Do I Get My Enlightenment Back? (Ask Maria)

How Do I Get My Awakening Back?

.. losing the enlightened perspective I had… to have it all vanish is devastating.

I was transformed, I was a completely new and better me and then reverted back to the old me in a matter of weeks.

I wish there were resources or info of people who have had some shift then shifted back.”


There are resources available right here on my website and I have gathered some of my articles for you below that can be helpful not only to you but to others as well that has had a glimpse into Truth, and who now wonder how they can get it back, or who feel that they are flowing back and forth in “having it and losing it”.

I understand that you want your enlightened perspective back, that’s very common after having a glimpse into Reality.

This is actually one of the most common questions people have; “how do I get it back?” and my answer is “you won’t”, because enlightenment (or awakening) is not for the ‘you’ that you take yourself to be.

It’s not ‘you’ who awakens but Truth that wakes up to itself.

The one who had the glimpse (and you might have a few more of those) is not the one who ‘ends up’ enlightened, but the one (the person you take yourself to be) is the ‘seeker’ in the beginning, the one who wants to have what it just had a glimpse of, but it can never have it (live it).

Here’s a few articles that I think can be helpful to you (or at least point you to a deeper understanding of what you might be going through depending on where you are in your individual process):

The Ego Will Keep Re-creating Itself Until We Embrace Being Nothing On a Deep Level of Being

How Do I Get My Awakening Back, Maria? (1/2)

The Ego Panics Before a Spiritual Breakthrough (Part 1/2)

The Beauty and the Peace (Let Grace Transform You)

Leave Yourself Alone (Let Grace Move Through You)

Fear Of Regressing Back To The “Old Life” After a Spiritual Experience [What am I supposed to do now?]

Falling Back Into Duality (Spiritual Awakening Process)

How The Search For Spiritual Highs Keeps Us Stuck In Ego-land (Endless Seeking For Experiences)

“Ask Maria” Question:

How Do I Avoid Being Swept Away By The Excitement Of The Mind?

How would I go about squelching ego (rampant escalation) right after my mind frees itself from learned knowledge and taps into “universal knowledge”?

How do I avoid being swept up with excitement to the point of polluting the here and now (that sense of oneness) with various “delusions” of fear, anxiety, and false pride?” 

How Do I Avoid Being Swept Away By The Ego? 

The Experience of Spiritual Awakening Does NOT Automatically Make You An “Awakened One”!

Spiritual Awakening Can Sneak Up On You

Spiritual Growing Pain 

“Ask Maria” Question: 

Is Spiritual Surrender a Gradual Process or a One-Time Event?

I have been living in two worlds for 2,5 years now. It means half of the time I have felt great peace, happiness and joy and other half been mostly anxious or depressed.”

Is Spiritual Surrender Sudden Or Gradual?

Spiritual Awakening Has Nothing To Do With Pleasing The Ego Mind

The Enlightenment Trap (When ego takes ownership of spiritual experiences)

Only The Brave Stay In The Awakening Process

Don’t Stop! Keep Looking! (Spiritual Awakening Process) 

You can find other similar articles as well below the articles under “related posts”, but these are some of my articles that came to mind right now and that can help you start going in the direction of the answers that you’re seeking with your question.

Some of the articles are old and from when I was, ..ahem, .. should I say ‘slightly annoyed’ with some people’s immaturity, not only people who think they have awakened just because they had a mystical experience or a glimpse into the true nature of life and themselves but also with some spiritual teachers who actually think they can sell enlightenment and then the fools who buy into that. 

It’s all an ego game; no one can ‘give you enlightenment’ or ‘make you awakened’.

But anyways, ..

Even though some of the articles are old they are still great pointers because this happens all the time with people; a person has a spiritual or mystical experience, a glimpse into Reality, a huge insight or whatever and then the ego thinks it is enlightened or will get enlightened so a frantic search to “get it back” begins. 

Some things in these articles might offend your ego and make it pout, become all grumpy and offended, but I don’t really care about that since I’m not here to make your ego feel good but to help point you towards who you really are and then you do the discovery yourself.

I hope you can appreciate that. 

The truth is that the realization will at some point hit you (or the ego) that it can’t survive the awakening process; that it can’t get anything from it.

But until this happens there will be a lot of spiritualised ego’s walking around, proudly flashing their badge of enlightenment for others to see (that they got from thinking a spiritual experience equals enlightenment), or wounded ego’s who are desperately trying to “get their enlightenment back” by all kinds of means.

(Three step programs to enlightenment and retreats where you are sold the lie that you can get enlightened in a weekend etc. Things like that). 

But as I said, the time will come when the ego realizes it has no future, that there’s absolutely nothing in it for the ego – the ego doesn’t “get enlightenment” – it just thinks it can in the beginning and for a while until spiritual maturity happens. 

Usually one of two things happens when people ask me this question (“how do I get my awakening back”):

The person asking me the question “how do I get my enlightenment back” doesn’t like my reply and I never hear from then again, or they are open and receptive to my suggestions and most importantly, they are teachable.

This is a must for all of us on the journey through life, awakened or not; to be teachable.

Even teachers has to remain “students” in life because there is always more to discover and realize.

I know you’ll find the resources I have just shared with you helpful so go through them one by one and feel very welcome to ask more about this subject or any other related topics about spiritual awakening at any point in your spiritual unfoldment:

Ask Maria 

And of course you can also share your thoughts and further questions in the comments below!

I love hearing from you.


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Ruby Coleman Professional Musician and Actress, Memphis, Tennessee, USA


  1. Art Saucedo

    You wrote something that I’ve been thinking about off and on all day. A person can go through an awakening with grace. What is it?
    It stuck with me. This isn’t the first time that I’ve lost a job or a marriage. This time is just different.
    I’ve been searching the web looking for definitions and meanins. Nothing really makes sense.
    Anyway, I love, love, love your site.

  2. Could you send me the link to the article where I wrote that? That way I can clarify better what I meant when I know in what context I wrote it.

    But yes, it’s possible to go through it with grace but let’s face it; most people won’t and I don’t know anyone who has.

    It is possible because what you realize is that by being true to yourself things run smoother, that’s how it is, but most people are not true to themselves.

    They live their lives from the ego, so for example I can see someone who has a history of unhealthy relationships and they keep going into the same old misery over and over again because they don’t trust (or love) themselves enough to make better choices.

    If they would have made the choice of choosing themselves (trusting their intuitive knowing to get the hell away from the unhealthy relationship) then grace would have been able to come in.

    But truth is that most people don’t choose themselves, they go blindly wherever their ego leads them, even if it means into suffering and agony.

    Grace comes from going with what is true for you, it’s an inner knowing, intuition, gut-feeling, and to follow that instead of the ego, that what “creates” grace.

    That’s how we’re suppose to live but most people have completely lost touch with themselves and are out of alignment and that’s why they suffer.

    To lose your job in your case, I can’t really tell what’s going on there since we haven’t talked, but my guess is that it has to do with surrendering some old fears, or learning how to trust (life).

    Not sure if that resonates with you.

    Your marriage, same thing there, I would have to talk with you in order to understand your personal journey more clearly.

    Grace is when you’re in agreement with life, no matter what. That would be my definition right now as I write this.

    To trust and go with the truth within you and when you do there’s no fear.

    For most people though it probably involves making some tough decisions, but you will make them with peace and confidence, even if your ego is scared of making the wrong choice.

    The personal aspect gets diminished (it’s not about you anymore) and you realize that life lives through you, so you let it.

    And that’s a peaceful way to live, although it doesn’t mean that aren’t any challenges in life ever again.

    Grace in the awakening process comes when an individual surrenders totally to the process, but most of us don’t.

    We have grace now and then in the process but not all the time.

    Just look the next time you feel that and see how it came about by you trusting the process and giving yourself over (fully) to it.

    And then you lose it again when you let fear take over. And then there’s grace again when you surrender, and so on.

    But to go through it with 100% grace all the time, .. hm, ..yeah, everything is ‘possible’ 🙂

    And sure, in the end of the process you do surrender more and more easier and quicker and thus experience more and more grace.

    So it’s a process of recognizing when it’s there and when it’s not and what happened (within you) that made it ‘go away’. (Self-awareness).

    Thank you for loving my site by the way, I love that you do that 🙂

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