How To Deal With Dilemmas and Insecurities
What to do when you don’t know what to do.
Some of the questions I get from people has to do with fear and insecurities, not only about oneself, but also about what to do in life.
We all have had dilemmas at some point in our lives, and when we’re faced with a big decision to make that can change the course of our lives completely fears and insecurities can take a strong hold on us emotionally and mentally, and we just don’t seem to find our way forward.
Dilemmas such as one of my readers has; if she should move to another country for work, or if she should stay and pursuit something else, a totally different path, where she’s right now.
Usually what we do first unconsciously (because we have been taught that we need to figure things out), is that we go to our minds to get as much information we can and sometimes it is helpful to write a pros and cons list, but that is not where you find the true answer to your dilemma, yet it is a natural reaction to look at what is positive and negative to see how we imagine the two different paths to develop down the road.
But this exercise is still on the level of mind, so we need to go deeper.
When we go to our minds for answers, it will only lead to more confusion, because the mind will comment on every so called conclusion you get to, it will analyse it to pieces without finding a solution, and this can lead to more discouragement, worry and frustration because you are projecting a future scenario that is all in your mind, and you just don’t seem to know what way to turn anymore.
So the answer is, turn within.
Stop asking for advice from others, stop seeking the solution from the mind, and simply stop for a moment and get very still.
Look at how your thoughts create problems that doesn’t even exist.
The mind creates different imagined scenarios where most of them predicts some kind of catastrophe such as “I might loose everything”, “I might chose the wrong thing”, and so on.
But it’s when we get back to the present moment that we find ourselves to be just fine, even if we are in the midst of a challenge.
It’s when the thinking is too much projected into a future that we get anxious and fearful, but when we get back to here and now, we find peace again, even in the midst of chaos we can do that.
That’s what surrender does, it brings you back to peace, where you belong.
Look at ‘what is’, get back to the level of body; feel your breath, look at your hands, feel your toes, and feel the present moment awareness of what is really happening right now.
To become aware of how the mind works, how thoughts create problems that don’t exist, that’s when transformation is possible. When we get out of our minds, just for short moment, that will be enough for space to be created, but the mind resists stillness.
Awareness of this allows us to go there anyway, to surrender to the present moment.
The reality is not what your mind imagines it to be.
If a problem would arise, it will always be in the present moment and it’s impossible to prepare for it as we can only always deal with the present moment. Life is an endless Now moment.
Either we are present here and now, or lost in our minds that always projects a future (usually a scary one) or a regretful past which in any case we can’t change. We can change our perspective of it, yes, but the doing of that is still happening in the present moment, so we are basically wasting this moment on a fantasy and not on what is actually happening right now.
It’s time to get quiet and listen to the stillness within.
This will allow the Truth to come forth, the divine intelligence that is beyond the analytical mind.
The answer will not come when you’re anxiously waiting for it, but from you dropping the question into the deeper consciousness and then letting it go.
The answer will come spontaneously and it might surprise you and even take you in a totally different direction than any of the paths that you had envisioned and worried about!
Stillness allows everything more room, more space and openness, while holding on and trying to figure out makes everything rigid and closed.
When we are expecting one path or the other, we close ourselves to the possibility that there might be a totally different solution and answer to whatever challenges we are encountering. A completely different path altogether. We can’t know, and we can’t figure it out.
We need to be open and also curious, light-hearted. We can be that when we realize that ultimately, Life will take us where we need to be in every moment anyway, so to worry and fretting about it will only create problems that really don’t exist.
From a place of Spirit the intuitive knowing can come without struggle and we respond to it as it shows us the way, moment to moment.
This goes with all insecurities and dilemmas we might have.
Someone asked me how they “can over come the lack of confidence and get rid of the fear to be able to reach my full potential”.
The answer is the same here, go within, connect with the Truth of your being and let it do its work through you.
This person asked me specifically about her healing abilities, about how she could find the confidence to use it to help others, and what I would like to share is that you get over your insecurities about your abilities when you realize that they are not yours at all.
I used to do healing-work myself in the past (I’m a Reiki Master), but I never took credit for the healings that occurred, I knew it wasn’t me doing anything but being the instrument through which the healing was done, but I never said “I healed her/him”.
This has always been very clear to me, so my suggestion to you is that you recognize that the power that heals is the higher intelligence that gave you the gift in the first place and it’s ultimately none of your doing. It’s all God.
I hope that creates a relief within you knowing that; not only does it take the pressure off of you, but it creates a natural and effortless flow when you don’t go on thinking that you have to perform any miracles with the work that you do.
When we realize this, it fills us with awe and gratitude that God uses us in the way that is unique for each person. All work that is done from Spirit is “spiritual”, that includes if you are a bus-driver, clerk, writer, or dog-walker.
Whatever you do, if it comes from the heart, it is spiritual/God working through and as you.
When we see that, we realize that the insecurities are not there as much in a bus-driver for example (I have never seen one anyway:-), or the kindergarten teacher or whatever, because we somehow put healing-work as something special and high regarded/noble almost, while not being aware of the fact that divine work doesn’t stop at that, it has endless expressions and manifestations.
Besides, traditional doctors, nurses, psychologists and even vets are healers too!
It allows freedom within you when you revere the gift as something that is done through you, that comes through you, but not from you, doesn’t it?
There is no strain whatsoever when God/Life can move freely and live as us, and do its thing through us – we just need to be still and open and surrender to Life, surrender all our insecurities and dilemmas to the power that has all the answers, and we don’t even need to understand it, only remain open and willing to listen to the still voice with rather than the loud voice of the ego.
For that we need to get out of our minds and into the stillness within.
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Do you have a question for me? Ask me one here.
You might like this post too – it can help you develop your intuition when it comes to making decisions:
And this one: Does This Path Have a Heart?
“… I want you to recognize that the agony, the sorrow, the anger, frustration and all that as the burning of the ego, because that’s what it is.
The ego is burning in these moments which can last for a few hours, to days, even months and years in some cases – and so I want to share with you that those moments of despair is actually very, very fortunate. (When perceived with an open heart, understood and embraced).
If you have asked for the truth of your being to be realized, then this will happen in some degree, and as long as there is identification with being a separate person/ego, the process will be one of suffering.
But when we can go within and ask who this suffering is happening to, something happens within us.
When we can – even in the most difficult times – keep saying Thank You Thank You Thank You, something happens within us.
Why this is a good thing, is because when the ego realizes, after all it’s attempts to create, attract, get something or whatever (basically always projecting an imagined future where all will be well and great) that it actually don’t even have a future, the realization will reveal Truth within you and the ego finally gives up…” : https://mariaerving.com/when-the-ego-realizes-it-has-no-future/