How To Deal With Challenging Ego’s

As I mentioned in my previous article about interacting with people in dense levels of ego it can be very challenging at times, and in this article I’m going to address some of the things you might encounter and also how to best handle those situations should you find yourself in them.

As we all know who has chosen a path that deviates from the norm; sometimes people around you look at your situation and they perceive whatever it is that you are experiencing through their own filters, and when they look at your life through the lens of the ego their perception gets distorted.

You can be totally at peace with where you’re at even in the midst of a challenging time while they go around having completely different thoughts about you and your life.

Where they see chaos and maybe even pity you, you see order and perfection.

And even though you’re at peace you can at the same time find it very difficult to interact with the people around you and that can be very challenging (and even painful at times), but the peace is there regardless.

Even in the midst of a difficult encounter or interaction with someone that is living, moving and having their being in a totally different world than yours. 

And even if you might find yourself in a situation where you can’t speak your mind, where you can’t speak honestly and where others perceive you as an outsider, or ”the odd one”, you can still remain centered in yourself. 

Not that it’s always easy though. 

So How To Handle These Situations?

If you’re stuck in an environment where you can’t get out from and where you need to be in for some reason or another (imagine being imprisoned; it can mean many things but the feeling is the same), then to keep the drama (or conflict) away you kind of have to adapt to the world you find yourself in, even if you don’t ‘belong’ there.

To me it’s incredibly painful to chit-chat about things like what pizza is the best, homemade or not, or what someone said on the news yesterday or whatever other things ‘normal’ people talk about; I just find it incredibly painful and sometimes irritating to be around that kind of energy but there has been times in my life where I had to be around it even if I had preferred not to.

I’m sure we can all relate to that in some way or another, awake or not, so it doesn’t have to have anything to do with being spiritually awake or not.

So what do we do?

Well, the truth is that we just have to go with the flow of things, (if we are unable to remove ourselves from the situation), to “be like water”, knowing that it will not last, that all things of the world are always changing. 

When we’re with dense ego’s a dialogue is not possible and so trying to explain your point of view is just a complete waste of energy and effort as they can’t relate to what you’re saying.

So my advice is (from my own experience):

Be quiet. Don’t explain yourself, don’t share anything, just be still and wait until the storm is over.

Sometimes People Mock You And Try To Catch You Being ”Unspiritual”

Most people don’t know what spiritual awakening is and there has been situations in my own life where people have thought that they had catch me in being ”unspiritual” and they go like (with a smugness over them);

”ah-A..! If you’re so ‘awake’, why can’t you just bla bla bla” and the funny thing in all this is how they look when they say things like that.

They actually have this sage-like look in their face and where they with all sincerity believe that being awake means that you have this constant blissful smile on your face even when others spit you in the face or trample all over you.

This has happened a few times and the experience is usually very similar; unconscious people trying to catch you being ”unspiritual” (as if their opinions of you would matter) and then the saint-like look on their face followed by a soft ”spiritual” voice where they try their best to sound spiritual and evolved.

It’s can be kind of amusing to watch at times I must say.

They think that being awake means that you’re totally unaffected by life experiences and that everything is a blissfest, no matter what.

There’s no use whatsoever in trying to explain anything to people like that.

Just let them think what they want and move on with your life.

People have so many misconceptions about awakening; all kinds of rules of behavior and stereotypical views about how you should be, how you should look, what you should wear and not wear, how to speak and not speak etc.

I mean it’s just ridiculous.

The truth is that you actually don’t become more spiritual but more ordinary.

(Spirituality actually falls away too, at least all ideas about spirituality). 

I have even had someone telling me to act in a certain way, or not to act in a certain way;

You have to give people what they want” she said, with the underlining meaning that I should write articles in a way that would be pleasing to other people’s ego’s, which would make me an enabler of illusion, and that would be totally against my integrity. 

But to try to explain that to an ego is absolutely fruitless because they don’t know that they don’t know who they are.

I’m not here to compassionately hold the hands of wounded ego’s, that’s just not my thing.

I understand that they speak from within their state of consciousness and that’s how things work in their world (that you have to “give people what they want” and try to be liked by everyone), but I’m not interested in that, and I can’t relate to that state of living and being.

So What To Do, you might ask.

The obvious advice is of course that as much as you can, do your best to stay clear of ego level people, understanding that they are not bad people, but unconscious even though they sometimes (often) think they are conscious.

It’s just causing friction in conversations when you try to explain how you perceive things because they simply can’t see your point of view, its incomprehensive to them, so I don’t even go there anymore.

Unless I know I can leave whenever I want to!

Then I can sometimes be the ”odd one” deviating from standard themes and popular opinions without restriction and provoke the ego state in the room for example.

You just have to learn to be intuitive about it, but if you sense that there won’t be even one ear open to what you have to say then what’s the use? 

Don’t Let Others Define You

One thing I have realized a long time ago is that it’s annoying to people that their opinions and theories about me and my life are completely meaningless to me.

It annoys the hell out of some people and sometimes they try to put labels on me, trying to make me into something I’m not so that they can feel a little bit better than me, or above me. 

I say; let them play their little games.  

This doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate constructive feedback but I can immediately detect where people are coming from and if it’s from ego then I’m not the slightest interested in hearing it. 

What I’m saying is that it’s not necessary to get into discussions with people but you can simply (and hopefully quickly) remove yourself from the situation or the people who are toxic (or argumentative) if the only way you can interact with them is on their own level of consciousness.

Remember that for a battle to take place there needs to be at least two people involved and when there’s no conflict there can be no drama.

And ego loves conflict and drama so to get into a battle or argument or even a discussion with dense ego state people is pointless because they can never relate to what you’re saying anyway.

Sometimes it’s not even dense ego’s that we can’t have a normal interaction and conversation with; the people, no matter where they are on the ego barometer so to speak (dense/less dense), they still can’t understand your point of view because they can’t see beyond their limits of reality.

So they can be nice, kind, ”normal” people too, but incapable to see beyond what they perceive life to be so they can only interact within their own frame of existence. (Their level of consciousness).

You have to make the choice if you want that to be something to keep in your life or not, and if you decide to keep it (if it’s family for example) then learn to “be like water” in the situations with them as much as you can.

And if you’re imprisoned in some way, or in a situation that restricts you somehow from fully being able to express yourself, then be like water there too.

Know that whatever conditions and situations you find yourself in in this world, they are always in state of change and nothing lasts forever.

You can still remain true to yourself when you stay centered in your own truth without having anybody agreeing with you or even understanding you.

So, “be like water”. 

Bruce Lee Quote

 ♥♥♥

Here’s two other articles that you might find helpful:

mariaerving.com/what-to-do-with-fundamentalists

mariaerving.com/stay-centered-when-challenged

And here’s my previous article about this:

mariaerving.com/interacting-with-people-in-the-dream-state

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You have been an amazing addition to my life!

Thank you for all of the wonderful light, and love that you send out into the world. You are indeed an inspiration even though we are half way across the world – isn’t that wonderful! It is a privilege that is not taken lightly. Thank you Maria! 

Ruby Coleman Professional Musician and Actress, Memphis, Tennessee, USA

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