Indian men showing affection towards each other
Just an interesting observation I’ve made about (many) Indian men.
At first, I was surprised to see many men holding hands in India and I thought “wow, it’s great how Indian people seem to be so accepting of gays” and “I didn’t know there were so many (male) gays here in India” and so on.
I saw this especially in Goa and thought that maybe that was the place Indian gays went to to be able to openly show their love for each other.
But there was something about it that didn’t add up and that was that while they were walking and holding each others pinkies affectionately they were also looking at women at the same time.
I quickly begin to see that they probably weren’t gay after all even if they were interlocking fingers and pressing palms, holding pinkies and walking with their arms around each others shoulders etc.
I have never seen this happen between a man and a woman in India, only among men, and they seem very intimate with each other.
Any couple that I would see in Europe for example behaving like they do here I would absolutely assume they were gay.
Just yesterday I saw construction workers goofing around with each other like teenagers in love, they were behaving in ways that I would only expect lovers to do.
It’s quite interesting to see how different it is here, but I can also see why it is so.
People are simply not allowed to show affection in the way that we are in the western world due to religious and cultural beliefs (mind programming).
Women are mostly ignored here by the men unless they are western women, and men and women simply do not show each other affection here it seems. Very rarely have I seen couples hold hands for example.
Only very young school girls have I seen hold hands, but not in an ‘affectionate’ way as Indian men have towards each other.
It all comes down to beliefs and if you’re deprived from showing love and affection to women (if your a man) then you naturally find another outlet for that basic human need.
We can see this happening in prisons too where people can’t have relationships with the opposite sex so they form intimate relationships with their inmates instead.
And they don’t necessarily have to be sexual, that’s not what I’m saying even if it certainly looks that way observing it with my western eyes.
The movie “Cast Away” with Tom Hanks comes to mind, where he creates a relationship with the volleyball Wilson just to have some kind of relationship with ‘another’ so that he won’t go crazy.
This is how my perception of this whole thing is, I just don’t see that there’s any space for a relationship between a man and a woman in India where they can be publicly affectionately so people naturally have to find other ways in which to be ‘human’.
Women might have their children to show affection towards while the men show it to each other.
Seeing this makes me curious about how it is for gay men and women in India.
The thought just came to mind because I don’t know what Indian people think about it and so on but I would assume that it’s not accepted since you’re not allowed to show love and affection to even your wife in public.
It would be interesting to hear about it if anyone wants to share.