I’ve Just Broke Up With God

I finally decided, after a very turbulent relationship with god, to break up with him and set my self free from believing in a god that is all mind made – what a revelation it has been, and I honestly feel Freedom!

It has been such an emotional roller-coaster; being in states of utter Bliss, to again fall into despair and powerlessness.

O my god, I have so much to tell you about these moments, my personal journey, and what I have recently came to realize is that even IF there even was a god, I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Yet again I have had an experience of awakening, just different this time around.

Last year something happened to me, you can read the post here:

http://mariaerving.com/spiritual-madness

And so many other things since then, and now I’m finally declaring myself set free, I have unleashed myself from this god.

I’m determined to confront all my beliefs, including the ones I hold as I write this; that now is a “bad time to make huge decisions as it is full moon”.

I’m not gonna believe that anymore.

It’s a really bad timing to announce this right now too as I’m in the middle of two huge list-building events and I’m – with this announcement – risking to loose many of my subscribers as well as new prospects that are visiting my site.

Oh, well. I just have to follow my intuition on this.

Oddly enough, I feel liberated. If I lose you, then it’s for the best. Not because of some godly principle, but because I – ME – chose to believe my gut feeling.

I will from now on slowly stop writing to my old lists and start building a new list of subscribers and I really hope you will want to join in and subscribe to it.

If so, you can do so by leaving your name and email where it says: “join my mailing list” (see upper right corner)

I have also decided to follow my hunches when it comes to my upcoming Online Workshop.

Instead of a month long Online WordPress Workshop, I have decided to create a membership site of my website where you can learn all that stuff for a lesser fee than the original course. (and in your own time)

You can read more about that here:

http://mariaerving.com/membership

My blog will from now on about my life, my interests and my thoughts, beliefs, and spiritual rantings, without me defining what and who I am. (as well as Internet Marketing etc)

I’m no longer a healer, but sure, if someone asks for healing and I feel for it I might do that. If someone wants to get consultations on how to market their online business, or how to create a website with WordPress, then I’m definitely here to help you; just have a look at my info-page about consultations with me: http://mariaerving.com/consulting

I’m open; undefined.

Well; anyways, that was it for now.
I have the tendency to write long posts and will continue this conversation in the next:-)

All the best to you!

Maria

UPDATE: Religuishing Old Belifes About God (Update re: my post about breaking up with god)

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Comments

  1. Yep, Maria. One of the biggest holder-backers is consciously choosing to believe in something. It locks us in and clips our wings to cramp our growth. Freedom is a most basic human urge, so dropping off beliefs is a move towards greater freedom. Nice.

    You sure have been through some change lately, hey! 🙂

  2. Kee Cheang

    that´s a courageous move, to give your self into the void, the absolute nothingness , and find just the opposite, congratulation ! Freedom and happiness, that´s our true nature, home sweet home ! Cheang

  3. Gaynor McNulty

    Hi Maria

    i wish you all the best on your Journey xxx

  4. Hi Cheang!

    Nice to hear from you again:-)

    And thank you for your comment.

    I do feel that my life has been that way always; that I have had it as my mission to evolve and grow. (which I love about life!)

    But it has been really difficult at times to cope with the processes of transformation, but hey; life goes up and down, and what I feel right now is a bit of sadness – although knowing that it is because even if the breakup so to speak is from a mind-made “personality” (in lack of a better word), it still stings as I notice how much I always communicated with this “god”, and now I have to re-learn that “habit” of asking for guidance etc. While feeling freed, I also feel a little sadness. Which is OK.

    I used to think that my intuition for example was God speaking, but now I have come to realize that it is me talking to myself lol!:-)

    People can argue saying that “well, of course, we are God” and feel all-knowing and evolved, but I bet they still go through dark times when not even prayers seem to work and when they have spiritual temper tantrums, wrestling and arguing with an invisible god that sometimes “hides his face” to “test us”.

    It’s a sick and twisted “father” indeed if he does that while we cry our hearts out wanting to serve him.

    If he “knew us before we were born” and he knows our hearts and pure intentions, then why
    test us”? Right?

    Oh, well, I’m so over that now:-)

  5. Hi Gavin,

    Thanks for your comment!

    I think we always believe in something, and many times we cling to beliefs we are not even aware of until we have had it somehow.

    Then the transformation is possible.

    I’m truly grateful for my ability to always remain questioning and allowing myself to grow. My overall feeling about life at large has always been that I’m here to evolve, so in many ways that has been my priority.

    Just to make an example; most of my love-relationships has ended because the guy stayed the same while I grew and evolved, so I could not stay with them, I would have suffocated.

    I’m never going to settle with something static, or one particular belief or philosophy, I mean, next year by this time, who knows how my thought-system and beliefs has evolved! 🙂

    And this continues into my next life – I’m still a baby when it comes to what and who I can become!

  6. Kathleen

    Hi Maria,

    Im not gonna lie…when I read the title of our email linking me to the site I was like “Yeah, right! What does Maria have up her sleeve now?” As I read the post I kept waiting for the “Gotcha!”…But when your post ended I was in shock. After a minute or two however I understood.

    Maria, you have been an inspiration to me. I would never think of abandoning you. I respect your honesty and your courage in just coming out and saying what probably a lot of people feel on the inside. We all have a journey in this Life and have to find our own path.

    I love you with all my heart Maria!

  7. LOL! “What does Maria have up her sleeve now”! 😀

    Thank you so much for your comment Kathleen <3

    So glad that you decided to stay with me. I actually only got one single comment back a person (one!:-) that was somewhat not 'on my side' so to speak. This person wrote as a reason why he/she decided to unsubscribe:

    “I am not in agreement with Maria regarding her decision to “break up with God.” If I am to be led by anyone, their heart needs to be filled with the love and grace of God, and His wisdom. I hope she comes to her senses.”

    I didn’t reply because it’s kind of sad. Like I have to be possessed by some entity in order to be filled with love and grace.

    I haven’t lost my “wisdom” or knowledge and my passion to share, in fact, I haven’t “lost” anything, on the contrary I have gained a little bit more of myself, which is a divine being just like everybody else regardless of my beliefs.

    So thank you for your kind words Kathleen.

    I love you back! 🙂

    Maria

  8. Robin

    Dear Maria, I respect the fact that you shared some of your inner most feelings with us. I know it took a lot of soul searching and courage on your part.

    This journey takes us on many different paths in life as you well know. However, I have come to realize it is not the so called pie in the sky that will save me ,for me it does not work this way. It’s when I go within that I find my answers or I’m to lifted from worry and fear if only for a moment.

    Thank you for your courage and insight.

  9. Hi Robin,

    Thank you for your comment.

    Yes, absolutely, I agree with you on that pie in the sky-thing.

    I am fully aware of that going within is the answer (I’m sure you know this about me if you have followed me for a while) but I realized that even the act of prayer implies that there is a separation. If we KNOW that we are one (not only conceptually), then why do we pray?

    When we pray, we are “talking” to someone that is not us (or so we believe) when in fact, if we really knew we were IT, then prayer would not be “necessary”, see what I mean? Then silence would be enough, because all we in essence are doing (if we really knew Oneness) was talking to ourselves. Which we are:-)

    This has been a life long journey for me as I have always been into these kinds of things, but the moment we realize something new, something has to go. Otherwise we would only be holding on to rigid thought patterns.

    Now I feel more fearless than ever, more accepting to life. And this is not the end – my so called ultimate eureka moment – it’s just yet another beginning, and I will continue grow and discover layers and layers of myself.

    Many years ago I had a profound spiritual experience (I wrote about that in my book Energy Awareness) where I for a very long moment was in complete Oneness with everything and it changed me forever when it comes to understanding the connection between everything, but even so, I keep finding new avenues of my consciousness that surprises me time and time again.

    And I love sharing some of it here on my blog:-)

    Thank you again for your comment,
    hope you enjoy the rest of the day!

    Maria

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