A beautiful mind creates a beautiful life

Law of Attraction and Aligning with Truth

Your thoughts decide what stream of consciousness you are aligned with.

Hi Maria!

I have a question about the law of attraction. On one hand it is says that “thoughts attract things” and that we are the “creators of our life.

Then on the other a lot of teachers say to not pay too much attention to our thoughts as they are just thoughts, and that life is in charge, not our thoughts (thoughts are not who we really are and we should just be the observer of them etc).

Even after years of reading books about this, it still confuses me. I get scared when I have negative thoughts, as every time something negative happens I believe I created it as by the law of attraction.

Or for example when you want something too much, by the law of attraction supposedly you actually push it away as you are focusing on not having it!

How does it work in your opinion?

Law of Attraction and Your Alignment with Truth vs Ego.

There’s a lot I can say about the law of attraction! 😊

You wrote:

“On one hand it is said that “thoughts attract things” and that we are “creators of our life.”

Yes, this is true. It really is all about your focus and attention.

You are right now creating your life-direction by showing interest in what I have written to you here in this article for example.

And by reading this article you will take some kind of action that continues on the momentum of what is being created here, right now.

But, you can also decide to not read this, and instead go and have a beer and watch a soap-opera on Netflix.

Or, you can decide to go and call your mom instead, or log into Facebook, go for a walk, read a book, or do something else, and by that change the direction or your life once again.

So each moment is a moment of choice, of creation, and every choice you make, creates a change in your life, and every change is a complete change.

You can choose this direction, or that direction, or you can go this way or that way, look here, or look there, you can do whatever you want, and wherever you ‘look’ (focus your attention), that’s the direction your life will take.

And it happens every moment of our life, and that is how you mold consciousness, which is what your life really is, it’s a mirror of your consciousness.

You can read more articles about that here:


Like for example, if you were interested in getting a dog, then you would read a lot about dogs, watch training videos maybe, and just be focused on dogs overall.

But if you suddenly changed your focus towards cats instead, then Life would give you a lot of cat-stuff instead to focus your mind on, and it works like that with everything in life.

Whatever you focus on (“think about”), grows. So that’s how “thoughts attract things”.

We are the creators of our life in the same way; that’s how life is being manifested moment by moment.

You can’t be creating and manifesting a beautiful life for example if you’re focused on (again; ‘thinking about’) how hard things are and that things will never get better.

The mind has a way of assuming things and jumping into conclusions that has no base in Reality, and the ego thrives on fear and worry, so a person who doesn’t have any self-awareness, they live their whole life in that state, in a limited perspective and state of mind.

Here’s a couple of articles that you might like:

How you communicate with yourself is causing your life

Whatever you give your energy and attention to, that’s the world you step into

Next you wrote:

“.. a lot of teachers say to not pay too much attention to our thoughts as they are just thoughts, and that life is in charge, not our thoughts (thoughts are not who we really are and we should just be the observer of them etc).”

This is also true. It’s part of the paradox of life! 😊

You are not your thoughts, you are the one noticing the thoughts, you are also not your feelings, you are the one noticing the feelings.

But what this also means is that since you are the one noticing them, you are also the one in charge of them in terms of what you allow into your consciousness (mind) and how you prefer to feel.

You can watch your thoughts all day long if you want to without doing anything about them, that’s your choice, but the question is:

Is what you’re doing helping you? Is it moving you forwards?

Just watching your thoughts can offer some relief (and it is important to learn how to detach from them), but when it comes to the law of attraction and manifesting; you do have to clean up your ‘inner stuff’ before you can manifest a different outer life.

We have full control of things like our consciousness and our energy, that’s what’s in our power to change, and when we change those things, when we have inner shifts, then our outer life changes too.

But we have no control over How and When things will happen, those things are completely out of our hands.

Life is in totally control over that, we have zero control in that part of Creation.

The What is something we have control over; meaning, you are free to choose whatever path you want to take in life and whatever kind of life you want to live.

We also have full control of our attitude and the way we choose to deal with the things that happen in our life.

We can choose to see things through the eyes of Spirit, or we can choose to see things through the eyes of the ego, we can flow with Life, or we can go against it, that’s our choice to make.

All those things are related to our consciousness and energy, but then there’s things that we’re just predestined to experience in this lifetime, that are just bound to happen because they’re meant to happen, and that includes both the ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

Next you wrote;

“I get scared when I have negative thoughts, as every time something negative happens I believe I created it as by the law of attraction.”

“Negative” is your perception, that’s all it is, it’s not necessarily the Truth. It’s just a point-of-view, a perspective, and you can change that.

Again; we are not in charge of the How of things, so when something “negative” happens, it’s actually happening for us, even if can’t see that when we’re in the midst of a challenging or difficult experience.

So the negative perspective is what you need to clean up from your consciousness, simply because it makes you suffer, and every suffering is always connected to the false beliefs we have about ourselves and who we think we are.

The suffering always comes from us identifying with the ego-self, that’s all it is. It is Its perspective you are experiencing, so you’re not seeing and experiencing life through the real you, through the perspective of Truth.

The suffering comes from you believing something that is not true in Reality.

Once you wake up from the small self, the suffering is gone. The ‘negative’ situations might still be there, but the suffering is not.

So in this case, if you get triggered by your thoughts (if they make you feel scared or worried etc), then you have to do something about it rather than just watching them.

Just watching the thoughts and observing them won’t do much good if you want to evolve.

At some point you have to decide to take charge of whatever it is that is going on ‘up there’ that makes you suffer.

If watching your thoughts and just observing them makes you happy and doesn’t bother you at all, then by all means continue doing that, but if they make you suffer, then do something about that too.

Always choose freedom.

Remember that this is your one and only life (that you know of), so make sure it’s a life you enjoy.

Don’t let your thoughts scare you or make you miserable.

The next time something ‘negative’ happens, instead of thinking you created the situation, ask yourself what it is there to teach you, or what the higher purpose of the happening might be, and that will be way more empowering for you (than blaming yourself for it).

But it’s just not what we think and what are thoughts are and being aware of them and so on that determines the direction of our life and the law of attraction.

Beliefs are a huge aspect in all this too, and many other things like your sense of worthiness, your mindset, self-belief, internal dialogue, your energy (vibrational alignment), and many other things.

It’s what truly is in your heart that the universe responds to, meaning; what you really believe and feel inside, and that’s more complex and deep than merely having to do with your thoughts and surface level thinking.

Lastly you wrote;

“.. when you want something too much, by the law of attraction supposedly you actually push it away as you are focusing on not having it!”

This is also true.

When you let go and deatch, that’s when things come to you, and this too has to do with your state of consciousness and energy.

If you live in a state of lack consciousness, you will attract and experience lack (lack of joy, lack of money, lack of peace etc), but I you have done the inner work on releasing false beliefs and so on that created the lack consciousness to begin with, then you will attract abundance instead (abundance of all the good stuff of life, both internal and material).

— Because now you have cleaned up the stuff ‘up there’ that is not in alignment with the Truth of who you really are.

Here’s an article that will be helpful to you:

Powerful questions to help you overcome feelings of lack and not being enough

A person who already feel whole and complete does not have to struggle to ‘get’ things, they attract the things to them instead.

That’s when you manifest and materialize things much more effortlessly and easily too, because the ‘need’ for whatever it is that you ‘want’, is gone.

— Because you already ‘have it’, in consciousness.

So you feel happy and fulfilled Now, which is another key to manifesting.

When you’re perfectly happy and you feel whole and complete without whatever it may be that you want and you’re totally relaxed about it (you have an inner Knowing that it’s already yours), – that’s when it can come to you.

And this too is a process (because it does include taking action, sometimes massive action and/or intense inner work for a long period of time), but once you ‘get’ it, you get it, and from then on it’s easy because now you have embodied the things you wanted energetically, you have ‘become’ it/them, and you have entered a whole new energy flow, so things manifest more easily for you.

It has to do with your alignment;

If you are aligned with the ego/small self, then you will manifest lack, fear, and limitations, while when you’re aligned with Truth, then you manifest that which is in alignment with That, which is abundance, success, happiness, love, etc.

When you try to manifest from the place of the small self, you struggle, but when you create from your Soul, then you’re not doing it alone, then you have the whole universe backing you up, helping you achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve in your life.

It’s another paradox, that by giving up your will to the Divine will, you actually end up manifesting your will, but without the struggle of trying to force it with your small, limited ego self.

Here’s some other articles that you might like too:

Your Energy and Consciousness decides Your Future and Flow

Manifesting from a place of Alignment

Alignment = Manifestation

The Future is about Vibration and Energy

There is a path for you that already exist – Instead of Having Goals: Receive Your Purpose

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(Original) photo by Juskteez Vu on Unsplash.com

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  1. Val

    Thank you Maria, a lot of very useful pointers! You are right, a lot goes into the process… I get it (kind of), although it’s hard to put it into words 🙂 it’s sort of like merging with life, and co-creating together I guess? And if things don’t work out the way you planned or hoped, it’s just a pointer that you have work to do in certain areas (e.g. false beliefs about yourself), so either way – it’s all good.

    I started seeing it as this: trust your desires/wants (don’t judge them), then follow your intuition of just the next step towards that desire (not 10 or more steps, just one step at a time, or one moment at a time), but do it just for the sake of doing that step, for the enjoyment of that one step, that one moment, and not the outcome 😊

  2. You’re so very welcome Val, glad to hear it spoke to you. 😊

    Yes, “merging with life, and co-creating together” = coming into alignment and collaboration with all of life.

    And yes, “if things don’t work out the way you planned or hoped, it’s just a pointer that you have work to do in certain areas”;

    Like for example when I wrote and shared a lot about the law of attraction many, many years ago (over a decade ago).

    I was invited to be a key-speaker on the topic on a couple of big seminars in Malaysia, but right at that time I also had one of my big awakening experiences, so I couldn’t do anything else but to turn down the offer, and now of course I understand that I had to go through the awakening process before I could know what the law of attraction and manifesting and all that really is and how it works.

    But at the time it did not fit into my own personal plans at all! The spiritual awakening experience kind of crushed all my plans, and even my goals and desires for my life.

    It was a very difficult thing to let go (to say no to the speaking gigs and everything that it included; the trip, the money, the possiblity of really having my career take off etc), but I had to, because at that time, when the awakening experience happened, I awakened to the realization that I am not in charge of life.

    But I had to awaken from the small self (the person most people take themselves to be) before I could really know what LOA was, and is about, so there’s a lot more to it than what most people think. That’s why so many people struggle with it too.


    Whatever you do, just always, always, always follow your intuition and never hesitate when it guides you, and that’s really the one true path to a happy and fulfilling (and magical and beautiful!) life! 😊

  3. Val

    Thank you Maria! It’s making more and more sense to me now. I get “downloads” all the time since my awakening, they just come out of nowhere and I have to quickly write them down because they are so insightful lol, and it terms of this topic on the LOA this is what I received – “Spiritual awakening wakes you to the fact that life is and always was in control. Now, it is empowering you, to learn to ride its waves”. 😊

  4. Val

    Yes I have come to see that we are life itself, and only recently I really understood the meaning when people say “you have value just by being here” – because you are life!

    I love, love, love RuPaul’s quotes – thank you for sharing. I didn’t know he was insightful like that! I especially like the last one where he mentions to listen to the Universe, because I only recently discovered this too (in greater depth than ever before).
    For example last week I was out for a walk thinking how content I was, and that, for the first time in my life I am not quite ready to meet somebody because I would like to spend and enjoy more time with myself, for just a little bit longer. Then straight after I thought that I heard the internal guide say “open an online dating account” LOL. And exactly as RuPaul said, I thought “really??” (as I really don’t like online dating lol), and the voice replied “yes, really”. So I did 😂 if anything extraordinary happens out of that I’ll be sure to return here and comment 😆

    Also really enjoyed Oprah’s quotes, flow and alignment really is everything, thank you 🙏

  5. Glad to hear you liked the quotes! 😊

    Yes, I love RuPaul, he’s a beautiful human being, very insightful and ‘woke’, and a great example of someone who lives in alignment with himself and the flow of Life.

    Regarding the dating site account and the voice; that could also have been the ego, since you said that you’re content being single, and that you don’t really want to meet someone at the moment, and that you don’t even like dating sites.

    So just be aware of that because Life would never ask you to do things you don’t ‘want’ to do (that goes against your values and wishes/desires).

    The RuPaul thing was more about him creating his drag-self/public persona/character, so it was about him becoming more of who he was/is and trusting the way Life was guiding him towards success, instead of believing his small self, thinking it had to come about in a certain way (limited way). (And he was also told to not do it in the beginning by others, but he said FU and did it anyway.)

    Many others have had similar experiences, like for example George Carlin, he was prompted by Life to be more himself, and only when he finally decided to go full out just being who he is (he was trying to please others before that, trying to be someone that he thought the audience would like), that was when he also got successful for real.

    Same with Oprah, she tried to be more like Barbara Walters in the beginning of her career, but never succeeded career-wise until she could be fully herself.

    So it’s not about doing things you don’t want to do (that’s more like how the ego operates), but to do things that you might be a bit scared to do, like for example being yourself fully, or doing something that you (or the ego self) think will not be accepted or liked by others (going against the grain basically) and having the guts to do it anyway.

  6. Val

    Hmm… I mean I’d love to meet someone, but in that moment I felt content and certainly wasn’t planning on online dating, especially since it’s something I never enjoyed.
    At the same time though I’ve become a very private person, I work from home now and enjoy my walks/exercise alone too (always have). Where before I would go out with friends to parties and socialise a lot (where you can meet people), I don’t have much interest in that anymore. So when it comes to meeting someone, it’s tricky because as my mum loves to say – “no one will come knocking on your door if you don’t get out there” LOL. Suppose having the desire to meet someone yet being by myself most of the time now contradict each other?
    So I’m not sure, perhaps it was the ego then, because as you said life won’t ask us to do something we don’t want to do or that feels off… and online dating never brought me joy lol, but maybe it’s just my negative attitude towards it? I don’t know 😂

  7. Well, if you’re unsure then you will only know by trying it, and then you’ll see how it feels and if it’s in alignment with you or not.

    But you don’t have to buy into your mom’s limiting beliefs though.

    It could absolutely happen that way, that he just knocks on your door, so don’t put any limits on how the universe brings things and people together in your life! 😊

  8. Hello again Val,

    Just to clarify something quickly;

    You can be prompted to do something that you don’t “want” to do, in the sense that you might be invited to a party for example and you don’t really want to go or feel like going to, but something is telling you that you should.

    Not the ego voice, but the true inner guidance.

    When the ego is prompting you to do something it usually has an explanation behind it, such as “if you don’t do this, then you won’t get XYZ”, or “if you don’t do this, then you will lose XYZ”, or “do this/don’t do that, because..” etc.

    The same goes with if You want to do something that the ego does not approve of, then it says “if you do this, then you might lose/not get that” etc.

    The ego if phenomenal at distracting you from what you actually want, and it’s also a master in taking people back to old patterns, because that is how it keeps itself alive.

    It’s usually always about the ego being needy and/or scared of losing out, of not getting something.

    The higher self doesn’t do that, it just says ‘go’, ‘do this’, ‘don’t go there’, ‘leave’, ‘talk to that person’ etc but you don’t get an explanation from it.

    It doesn’t tell you why (unless it’s a clear solution to something), because we are meant to trust our true voice and guidance (it’s suppose to be totally natural to follow your inner guidance), but we have been trained not to do that, so most don’t listen to it because it doesn’t give you a ‘rational’ or ‘logical’ reason, like the ego voice does.

    Many people are so used to the other voice (ego), so when there’s nothing to ‘gain’ (that they know of), they usually disregard the true voice, or even argue with it.

    And the higher self, or your intuition, does not force you to do something out of fear (of losing/not getting) like the ego does, but it does tell you over and over again to do something sometimes if it’s something of importance to you (but it doesn’t tell you what that is or reveal the outcomes beforehand), and it does that out of love for you, because it knows you’re scared of moving outside of your comfort zone and into the Unknown.

    And the way it does that is in a loving way, it just keeps nudging you until you just ‘feel’ intuitively that you ‘should’ do it because ‘something’ tells you that you should, so there’s an aspect of mystery about it that the ego never has, like it just feels right, but you don’t know why.

    I felt guided to clarify this for you, so I hope you found it helpful.

  9. Val

    Thank you for clarifying that Maria! Yes I found it very helpful – it actually makes perfect sense, especially how you said the ego usually has an explanation behind it, this will be very very useful moving forward.

    It made me think back to my decision to download the app – and yes, there was a reason behind the decision now that I think about it, which was “download the app BECAUSE you are so isolated now you won’t meet anyone any other way. Time is ticking. Mum keeps telling you to do it you should listen to your mum (lol)” etc etc, – all fear based.
    So recognising this now I knew straight away I wanted to delete it (lol), and so I did. 😊

    The truth is, the way I desire to meet someone is really naturally and unexpectedly. Over and over I keep getting messages of “it’ll come when you least expect it” – and I know what I need to do to follow that intuition – I have to completely let it go, because how else would it happen unexpectedly if I don’t lol?!
    That does require complete trust in Life, to completely surrender and give up my (imaginary) control. I clearly haven’t been able to do that, it’s tough when it comes to your biggest desire isn’t it! But I have a feeling this surrender may also be the turning point too in that case, let’s see 🙂

    I’m curious now that we touched on this subject, when it comes to “doing something without thinking” or acting on impulse – is that our intuition or ego?

  10. Val

    I also wonder why is the ego so “powerful”, and pulls us in so much, what is this entity exactly 😂 How and why was it created, if it causes such havoc… I’ve been on this road for years and it still manoeuvres circles around me at times lol..
    Also are our thoughts ego? or are our thoughts completely separate and are something that just happens to us (same as our heart beats, thoughts happen?), and ego is the one that perceives them/labels them/judges them etc? Whilst our true self is the one that observes the whole spectacle lol? Sorry all these questions just came up!

  11. I love that Val, good for you that you realized that the App wasn’t for you! 😊

    And YES, surrender is the way – which is really about allowing for something to happen that is beyond your small self’s perception of how it thinks things can happen, which is always very limited.

    Like your love-life was dependent on an dating App LOL!

    To reply to your last question in the first comment where you wrote “doing something without thinking” or acting on impulse – is that our intuition or ego?”

    It can be both. Many people, if not most, live their lives without actually thinking, they just follow a program, unknowingly of course.

    But then you have another way of living ‘without thinking’ and that is when you are aware and conscious of how Life speaks to you, so you live from a place of awareness more than you live from a place of ‘thinking’, or a place of constant plotting, planning, and ‘figuring out’ etc.

    When you have a higher awareness, you feel more, you live by your intuition more, you sense more, you see things that other people don’t see, like signs, synchronicities and so on.

    Of course you still use your mind though! (That’s what it’s for.)

    But the thinking is more “controlled” (not exactly the right word to use, but it’s more ‘powerful’), where you’re 1.) aware of what’s going on ‘up there’, and 2.) you direct and are in charge of what you want to focus your mind and thinking (and energy on.)

    And living in this way, when your Being and Thinking is in alignment, you also learn to follow your impulses, but not in an ego-way, but in an Aware way, and in a trusting way.

    Here’s an article that came to mind that I think you might like:


    If you’re too rigid in your thinking, or are restraining yourself too much by not allowing for spontaneity, then you’re essentially blocking the flow of Life from moving unhindered in you and in your life.

    So following your impulses is important, but to be able to do that from a place of who you really are, you’ll need both a higher level of awareness and self-awareness to do that in a life-enhancing way.

    When you’re impulsive from a place of ego, you don’t really ‘think’, or are even aware of what it is that you’re doing, so awareness is Key.

    To respond to your other comment where you wrote “I also wonder why is the ego so “powerful”, and pulls us in so much, what is this entity exactly, how and why was it created?”

    It’s the conditioned self, and it’s so powerful because it’s a program that has run most people’s lives for the majority of their lives.

    That’s the simple way to put it! 😊

    The moment you are born the programming starts, and children are so moldable so if your parents are not aware/awakened, then you will just follow in their programming, doing things (doing life, really) the way they do it.

    Unless you start questioning everything and thinking for yourself that is!

    Like for example the limiting belief your mom has about having to “go out there to meet someone”, and then you buying into that belief, and then taking action on the limiting belief by doing something (getting the dating App) while not actually wanting to do that (you went against yourself by doing that).

    But thanks to your Awareness (there’s that word again that I love so much), you were able to question it and also start thinking for yourself, and making a new decision that was based on your new discovery (and trust in your intuition), so you deleted the App, and so it goes with everything.

    Many people just follow paths that are expected of them, without really ‘thinking’ (back to your first question about following your impulses etc), they just choose (unknowingly) a career path for example that may not be for them at all, based on external things like what others think and want for them, even what society expect from them (another level of programming).

    In one of my books, “The Power of Aligned Thought – How the mind works and how to use it”, I wrote about these kinds of things.

    You can find it here: https://mariaerving.com/energy-awareness-aligned-thought

    It will shine light on many of the questions you have.

    The last few questions you asked:

    “Are our thoughts ego? Or are our thoughts completely separate and something that just happens to us (same as our heart beats, thoughts happen?), and ego is the one that perceives them/labels them/judges them etc? Whilst our true self is the one that observes the whole spectacle”, are questions of the more self-inquiry/”who am I” type of nature and not where my interest lies anymore, but you can use the search box below and you’ll find my older articles that can be helpful to you when it comes to those things.

    You can go in whatever direction you want, and that will be the path you take.

    The main thing is to be clear about what it is that you want (what your intention and true desire is) and then trust and follow the nudges from within, the impulses that arises, and the hunches and any signs and guidance that is shown, and that’s how you begin to untangle yourself from the small, limited and conditioned self and move into greater and greater alignment with your Self and Life.

    Hope this was helpful to you. 😊

    (And please, you can never ask too many questions so feel very free to ask away!)

  12. Tom

    Hi Maria, just dropped in to say hello and a question popped up!

    Fantastic article as always…

    It seems the truth within each individual differs vastly but where have you discovered this variation originates from?

    There are some theories this end but no evidence to back them up…

    Fascinated to hear your thoughts as always.


  13. Val

    Yes I instantly felt so much better after I deleted it! I felt like I could breath again lol!

    Thank you for clarifying the first question and sharing the blog – that helped! Especially the part where you will feel excitement as well as potentially fear at the same time, when you follow the nudges of Life instead of ego – I have experienced this and this is true – now I know what that was!

    I guess for me the issue is the constant thinking, all these “rules” about how to think (e.g. think positive), use affirmations in the present tense and soo many other things I’ve read about creating a good life – it’s just become too much to a point where I don’t even know what’s the correct way to “think” anymore… I’m now always in fear (which I know is the ego, but it’s very strong), and the fear is something like “oh no did I say that affirmation correctly? is it true to me? if I don’t really believe it it won’t work. Was that too negative? If that was too negative it will manifest” etc and on and on it goes… very exhausting.

    Also thank you for shedding light on my second question! I understand what you said about people making choices without awareness. For me currently, it feels like I have too much awareness, and everything feels very raw. I am constantly questioning if this thought or that is coming from the ego or not, so afraid to be deceived by it again as I have been so many times. I guess I don’t trust my mind anymore? Perhaps this is another phase I’m going through on this path.

    Thank you so much again Maria, so very helpful as always 🙏

  14. Hi Tom,

    Always nice hearing from you 😊

    And thank you, glad you liked the article.

    The truth within each person varies because we all run on different beliefs-systems and we have different levels of self-awareness and perception etc.

    So we have different (individual) perspectives on things, how we interpret a childhood event for example is only our own truth, while your siblings may have their own and completely different ‘truth’ about the exact same event.

    And your inner truth also has to do with your own intuitive knowing about something, or your gut feeling, which may be the opposite of what another person feel and senses.

    Our inner truth (opinions/beliefs) changes throughout our life too, unless you’re really rigid in your thinking and belief-system.

    If you’re really stuck in your own “truth” it can become something you think should be everybody’s truth, like for example if you have very strongly held religious beliefs, then you might become fanatic about them and try to force them on other people.

    But a persons individual truth is just that; it’s individual, and it has its base in beliefs and your own unique interpretation of things, and also your intuitive knowing and gut feeling about things.

    And you can also ‘sense’ things for others and warn them about a person for example, but if they’re not able to receive your perception/what you ‘see’ (the ‘truth’ about the person), then they might have to just learn the truth about the toxic/”bad” person the hard way.

    Was this what you meant with the question about the (individual) truth within?

  15. I’m so glad to hear that Val – it’s a clear sign that you just snapped yourself back into alignment when you felt the relief of deleting the dating App. 😊

    And no judgment, it might be great for someone else, it just wasn’t for you.

    Ok, so let’s talk about the ‘rules’;

    As soon as something becomes too rigid and it’s just making you more confused, then it’s time to take a step back and just stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing and instead completely neutralize yourself from all the trying.

    That takes you back to baseline so to speak, it clears up all the misunderstandings, struggles with understanding, and the confusion gets a chance to clear up when you no longer hold on to thinking anything must be either this way of that way.

    Just stop and breathe for a moment – Take yourself back to Zero again, and start anew from there, uncluttered by how you ‘think’ you should do anything.

    Here’s what I invite you to do;

    Stop and regroup; Neutralize yourself from all the trying to do things the right and perfect way.

    When you feel the burden of that has lifted and you feel you can breathe again, then start watching your thoughts.

    I think that’s where you need to start.

    Observe what’s going ‘up there’, and literally just watch your thoughts, without getting entangled in them.

    Don’t show any interest in them other than just curiously (but in a detached way) watch them come and go.

    Get really good at this, and then when you got this down (when there’s a space between you and the thoughts and you’re in control of that space), then you can go to the next step.

    Next start to pay attention to how the thoughts are making you feel when you ‘follow’ them, or start believing in them.

    When you experiment with the space between the thoughts and your emotional reaction to them as you get ‘closer’ to them, you will be able to start getting into the deeper realms of your subconscious beliefs where the real suffering and pain is actually coming from.

    By trying to monitor and control your thoughts and thinking at this point is useless as it is only making you struggle more.

    And it’s only surface level things too, so it’s not going to contribute to a real shift anyway since the thoughts and the way you’re thinking is what scares you/stresses you out the most now (and it comes from your beliefs, not actually your ‘thoughts’).

    So neutralize your stand, and watch your thoughts (without involving yourself in them) and then start writing down all the fears and worries that comes up the moment you ‘believe’ a thought.

    That’s where you can begin entangle yourself from the deeper beliefs, the beliefs that are beyond the mere (surface level) thinking/thoughts.

    So look at your beliefs instead of your thoughts, that’s what I’m trying to say, and then when you begin to release the false beliefs, your ‘thinking’ will clear up as well.

    Your beliefs is the muddy water that needs to be cleaned and cleared up, and then your thinking becomes clear too, and that’s when you can begin using your thoughts in co-creating your life as in the concept of law of attraction.

    Every fear-based reaction you get from your thoughts and thinking (“I’m doing it wrong”, “omg, is my vibration right now” etc), those are all based on certain beliefs you have about yourself and life – and that’s where the ‘real’ problem lies, not in the surface level thinking, so just stop monitoring them and go deeper into the realm of subconscious beliefs instead.

    Master yourself at the deeper level first, and then all the other levels will come into alignment too, and that’s where you can begin using your mind (and thinking) to create your best life.

    Of course you can do this at the same time/simultaneously, but since you’re just struggling right now, then I recommend you get some space between you and your thoughts and thinking, and then begin the inner work from there instead.

    Make your goal in all this to come to a place where you think in alignment with God/higher self – Align with the thoughts that It thinks about you, your dreams and desires, and life at large.

    So every time an intruding thought comes and creates inner turmoil for you, ask what your Higher Self or God thinks about it, and then redirect your mind towards Truth instead.

    And one last thing that is very powerful;

    You might not be able to control your thoughts/thinking (mind) at this point, but you can always control your speaking and the words you say and use, and that in turn will affect and help overrule any erroneous thinking, especially when you begin practicing speaking out loud the things that you want to manifest in your life.

    (Speaking is much more powerful than to just ‘thinking’ better and more positive thoughts.)

    And another thing too to remember is that every time you do some really deep inner work, you can expect inner friction and turmoil to come up.

    It’s part of the process as the old level of consciousness clashes with the new and higher level, so it stirs up deep subconscious fears and anxieties etc that you are now called to release and let go of.

    Here are some of my articles that can help you further:



  16. Val

    Thank you so so much Maria, this was SO helpful! I am very excited now to discover this underlying belief. I feel like the answer is bubbling up to the surface already, curious to discover what it is 😊

    Really really great tip about speaking – I will take that onboard for sure.

    And yes now that you mention about inner turmoil/friction after a shift/inner work, it happens to me every single time, and every time it throws me off. Now that it “clicked” what it is though, perhaps I will approach it differently when or of it happens.

    Cannot thank you enough for this 🙏

  17. Tom

    Morning Maria,

    I’ve contemplated the question further…it’s really hard to articulate some of these questions that arise (and selecting the language) but I’m always so fascinated with your understanding, the answers are found within but there is real enjoyment in discussing truth with others…

    When I am is fully aligned with truth, fulfilment and peace is found in discomfort (challenging oneself) and effort.

    This should not be confused with masochism or self deprivation, quite the opposite, unconditional love in the form of trying, doing the best job one is capable of in all areas of the life experience; earning money, being a friend, being a father, the list goes on…

    There is no striving or huge life purpose as life purpose here is to simply live aligned with this truth. At this point all duties are enjoyed and seen as gifts when one is fully present and effort is applied.

    The approach to life becomes the purpose and fulfilment is discovered in activities when aligned, the activity is largely irrelevant.

    Does this differ from your perspective (we can’t really speak for other perspectives)?

    As I’m writing it has become clear that this must be dependant on what the life situation requires also as I absolutely relish the challenge of being a Father which has played a huge part in stepping back into further and further truth, presumably purpose would be entirely different if this was not an element of the current life experience?

    How does this differ to truth from your perspective?


  18. Hi Tom,

    Good to hear back from you. 😊

    Hm, where do I even begin lol! There’s so much I could say.

    Truth is about our true nature and the possibilities that Life opens us up to when we transform our limitations and fears into freedom and flow.

    Meaning; when we decondition ourselves and come into alignment with the Truth of our being, which is limitless and here to experience all of life’s goodness and blessings.

    And we do this in alignment with our higher self, or “God”, Source, or whatever word that resonates with you; the driving force that runs the universe and that is the guiding principle in our individual lives.

    So it’s important to follow the nudges and guidance from within (and signs and synchronicity) without hesitation.

    Intuition is huge, it’s Truth speaking to us and guiding us towards that which would bring us the most joy and fulfillment in life.

    Plus, each person is here to do/give something that no one else can too, so we are here to bring that/those gifts to the world in ways that only we can.

    And to do that we have to follow our own inner truth, and the Truth of the moment, and then go with the flow of That, and that’s how our true destiny and most beautiful and fulfilling life unfolds.

    So for example, you shared that you’re a dad.

    I would think that you as a father would want your daughter/son to grow up to be an independent thinker, a free soul who chose to follow their own path in life, and who lives out their own (inner) truth, instead of following the herd and getting a life-sucking job just to earn money for example.

    I want to think that you will support your sons/daughters individual interests and passions and let them explore life and allow them to find their own way and truest self-expression and gifts that they are here to bless the world with.

    I hope you teach them that they can do anything they want, and that they are here to enjoy life in all its different aspects and that it is important to always be true to yourself and to value and honor yourself and your own inner voice.

    This is the way we’re meant to live but which most people have been programmed away from. This is the Truth that I’m talking about. (The Truth of your being, and Life.)

    Living in alignment with the inner truth (the individual truth), as well as the higher Truth, instead of being aligned with the small, conditioned self and its limited perception of life.

    And every parent is taking part in the programming of their child either by the way they themselves are programmed (many people grow up to become a copy of their parents for example, and so the programming continues from generation to generation), or according to how free, aware, and awakened they themselves are.

    I’m curious to hear if you can relate to what I just shared, both as the person/human being that you are (your own individual life), and also as a parent as you’re witnessing and seeing (and taking part in) another human being growing up?

  19. Tom

    Hi Maria,

    Couldn’t agree more, particularly regarding the cycle of psychologically wounded parents passing on their wounds.

    From my perspective there are no psychological disorders. Only generational wounds passed on by unaware parents.

    I have long forgiven mine, there is only gratitude now as I’m aware that they were only doing their best from their limited perspective but it took years of work overcoming the trauma of childhood. When the pain got too bad five years ago I was forced inwards to what seemed like hell at the time.

    The gift that came from all that shit though is many years of work and understanding which has allowed me to be able to meet all the needs of my daughter.

    From the perspective of life, what purpose is more important than that? revisiting and enduring the pain, breaking the pattern and ensuring the wounds don’t get passed down.

    Life ​unravelled in such a way here that conditional love was learnt from very early on and so I learnt what unconditional love was through learning what it wasn’t haha, paradoxical!

    What a gift to be able to offer her unconditional love…She is incredible, she’s the teacher and I tell her…our relationship is fantastic and open. As I mentioned, challenges often arise as opportunities to guide her where my parents weren’t equipped this is a huge gift also.

    I have never spoken to anyone else about the above, thank you for opening up the conversation, it has reminded me of another passion alongside my daughter and being a Father – Helping to educate on the psychological wounds passed through generations.

    This to me is the key to transforming the world as we know it.

    Thank you so much, I hope your childhood was more pleasant than the one experienced here but I’m guessing probably not, otherwise I doubt we’d be having this conversation would we?!


  20. Yes, yes, yes! I love that you were able to do that, and I’m so glad to hear that you have such a good relationship with her.

    There was a lot that happened in my childhood and teenage years too but I too have worked things through.

    I did my healing work on those things when I was around 28-31-ish (when I was in rehab), so it’s a long time ago, and all is well today.

    When you say ‘helping to educate on the psychological wounds passed through generations’, what do you mean by that?

    Is that something you’re involved in now, or something you want to do/feel called to do?

  21. Tom

    We’re both very lucky to have each other!

    No, not involved in apart from at a personal level, will have to have a little rustle around inside to see what comes up…

    The way life unravelled seems so intricately engineered in hindsight, hugely fascinating isn’t it!? knowledge was gained experientially leaving absolutely no doubt as to the implications of unaware parenting and psychological wounds, addiction, disease etc then experiencing multiple states of consciousness and learning that any experienced discomfort was/is really due to distance or separation from truth.

    There was no one to share this with but I remember there was so much passion originally that it became very painful to observe the behaviour of parents for a long time whilst going through the healing process…

  22. Yes, it’s perfect how it all unfolds and how everything is intertwined and connected. And how everything comes together so beautifully with other things in life too! 😊

    And yes, absolutely; the pain and suffering always comes from us being (or experiencing/perceiving) being disconnected from who we really are, or Truth, and healing, or any other kind of inner work (personal growth etc) helps us to come back to ourselves and to have a higher and richer experience of life.

    Regarding your passion to educate; yes, see what happens when you go within, maybe it’s time for something new to be born in your life in terms of your calling, or your next sacred assignment in life! 😊

  23. Tom

    Unknowingly I was rejecting the limited part of me again… there is fear there regarding the psychological wounds subject, not from past experience but having the bollocks to go against the grain and speak the truth.

    This has caused a block on heart which is why there has been a lack of flow recently…

    I have been fully accepting the limitless part but completely turning my back on the limited! so easy to forget these things, then boom!

    Our conversation brought me to precisely where was needed for this insight…how’s that for some magic haha!?

  24. I’m happy to hear that Tom! 😊 It’s awesome when magic happens and insights are gained.

    Until we talk again; hope you have the most beautiful Sunday ever, and a fabulous new week before you!

  25. Val

    Hi Maria! It’s me again 😄 I just have one small follow up question!

    We spoke about “negative” thoughts, fear based etc. and about taking charge of our minds.
    What I have noticed recently, are streams of “positive” thoughts that I’m not consciously or actively choosing (I started practicing giving space to my thoughts like you suggested).

    To give context/example – I am currently interviewing for a new job that I am interested in. So far th interview process has gone well, and I’ve “caught” my mind already imagining what it’ll be like in that new job, even what I will say to my manager when I resign.
    I’m not actively choosing these thoughts, so the mind is projecting into the future… Whilst it’s projecting in the direction I’d like to go, it’s still not “me choosing” those thoughts, but the wondering mind.

    When I recognise this, I just think “yes, maybe, that’ll be nice, but things can work out differently, or better”.
    Would you say that is a good approach to “positive” future projections of the mind?

  26. Just enjoy the moment Val, and enjoy your imagination!

    Why wouldn’t you?

    It’s like if you fell in love for example; wouldn’t you “allow” yourself to think about and fantasize about (and ‘project’ future visions) about the person?? Even if you didn’t know if they felt the same about you?

    Of course you would! 😊

    It’s natural to do that, and it’s the same with everything life. Just enjoy it as much as you can and be happy.

    If you enjoy imagining and fantasizing about the new job and what it would be like to get it and how it would change your life in positive ways then do it as much as you can!

    Milk it with all you’ve got, – it’s wonderful to amp up your imagination that way!

    And daydreaming is healthy too, very powerful and creative too, and so wonderful to be immersed in!

    And of course at the same time stay open to something else being a possibility as well, but without arguing with your mind.

    You don’t have to ‘speak back to it’ – just enjoy the stream of thoughts, while knowing in an obvious way that of course there are other ways in which things could turn out too, but that’s just common sense, wouldn’t you agree?

    And if you start to feel burdened by your thoughts/the thoughts that arise, then do something about it (find the underlying cause or belief that makes you have the undesirable feelings/emotional response), but if the thoughts/thinking makes you happy, then why not enjoy it!

    The mind is not an enemy, it’s your ally, and imagination is powerful, it’s very creative, but you also have to stay relaxed and open about whatever comes up and not insist on things having to turn out exactly the way you want, or how you imagine it to happen, or how the outcome should be according to the small self.

    Allow yourself to experiment with how powerfully creative your mind is and have fun with it, seriously. 😊

    It’s an awesome tool if you allow it to be what it is meant to be and be used for, so just enjoy the moment Val, and rejoice in your imaginations because This Moment Right Now is all we ever really have, so why not be as happy as you can, right now?

    Then that happiness you feel Right Now creates a string of more happy moments to enjoy, and that in turn magnetizes you to even more happy moments and things to enjoy, so relax about the whole thing and just enjoy your life, that’s the most important thing.

    It’s only when your mind starts to take you to places you don’t want to go that you need to correct it and put it back on track with Truth and your emotional well-being and harmony, because that’s your choice (you’re the boss); you choose to be happy in this moment and your mind needs to know that, so you correct it if it strays away from that.

    Hope this was helpful to you? 😊

    Here’s some other articles for you that I think you’ll like and find helpful:


  27. Val

    Ah yes – makes perfect sense!!! Thanks again Maria 😊😊

  28. Tom

    Hello Maria!

    Just thought I’d check in as the last three weeks have been insane! so funny in hindsight…

    Our conversation caused enough fear from the limited part of me for duality to return internally again, I rejected the fear and inner wholeness was lost.

    The time between now and then has been interesting to say the least as I’m sure you can imagine! all sorts of dis comfort in the inner and outer experience until I accepted the fear.

    A right bloody kerfuffle haha, but I wanted to come back to thank you as this was another important part of the process, triggered by our conversation.



  29. Hi Tom!

    What was the fear about, what happened?

    I remember your comment about working with or doing something connected to helping/educating people with/about trauma, is it about that, about following that nudge..?

    Please feel free to share and elaborate, maybe I can help you get over that hurdle.

    When fear comes up it needs to be met and seen, only then can it be transcended.

  30. Tom

    Thanks Maria, all is good again now…

    Just wanted to drop in and thank you as without that convo I wouldn’t have had an opportunity to integrate the passion about the unaware wounds cycle we discussed.

    Knowing the damage that can be done experientially by parents the fear blocking this was regarding my daughter being in the care of her other parent and knowing there is very little I can do about what happens whilst she is at the other house (unless of course there is a reason to step in) only the experience whilst she is with me and the state of consciousness and presence I bring to the table.

    Juicy piece of work that one!!

    Thanks again,

  31. Ah, I see!

    I don’t know how old your daughter is, but raising her up to be a strong and independent young woman is the answer to your ‘anxiety’ in many ways (if it comes up again).

    As then you’ll know that whatever happens in the other house, at her mom’s, she will be able to hold herself in high regard and with high self-esteem.

    I don’t know anything about how the relationship and dynamic is within your family and the members of it, but when each person can be independent and free in themselves, that’s when there can be harmony in the family as well.

    Glad you had it sorted out for yourself, but next time remember that it doesn’t have to take three weeks if you allow me to help you! 😊

    Meaning I’m here for you if you’d like to have a one-on-one, or even just ‘talk’ here if something comes up again that creates inner turmoil and discomfort.

  32. Tom

    Couldn’t agree more, she’s already strong and independent…its about guiding her to ensure she stays that way…

    Perfect, I’ll know for next time!


  33. Val

    Hi Maria!
    As promised updating on the job – I just got an offer for it! And it’s a nice step up from what I do now 😄
    Very excited and nervous too, 2 very big changes in my life now happening at the same time – moving house after 5 years in my current place and now the job after almost 3 years in my current role – but, it’s evident it’s a new start 😊

  34. Woo hoo!! I’m so excited for you Val, and was just thinking of you yesterday and was curious to hear how your move went. I think you have already moved, right? Hope all went well, and please keep me updated on the job too, I’d love to hear what unfolds next for you! 😊

  35. Val

    Thank you Maria! I was actually thinking about you too yesterday!
    Yes I’ll keep you posted 😄 I’m moving this Wednesday/Thursday, and my mum was allowed to fly from overseas to help me too, which is so incredible. Lots of changes!!
    Hope you are doing well too 😊

  36. That’s so wonderful! 😊 So nice. I’m doing great and feeling fabulous, thank you for asking. 😊 Sending you lots of good vibes and all the best wishes for you in your new home!

  37. Val

    That is really great to hear 😊
    Thank you so much, sending you lots of good vibes too 😊😊

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