Leave Yourself Alone (Let Grace Move Through You)
There’s two scenarios that can happen after a powerful insight or a wonderful spiritual experience of bliss and realization of our true self/nature, and that is:
.1 The ego takes hold of the experience and makes it into “this happened to me” (“I’m special, chosen, I have arrived, I’m enlightened” etc etc) and then basically from then on the ego (the conditioned self) will be searching for that experience again and again, and again. (But will never “find” it again).
It will do all kinds of crazy things to try to get that experience “back”, such as starve itself (aka purifying the body), chant mindlessly and obsessively in order to try to get that “high” back, or it will stay on the mainstream level of spirituality and endlessly tap on the meridians to ‘attract the perfect soul-mate’ that will make them happy and so on.
In short; It will do all it can to feel good all the time (“get what you want”-mentality), or even slightly better (as this moment is never good enough for the ego), and it will never succeed so there will be lots of struggle, striving and frustration.
2. You go in the other direction; you let yourself fall into the abyss of darkness and you let Grace work through you and remove all that is not of Truth.
You embrace the void, and you give yourself over to God completely.
If you chose this path, you will have to be willing to let go of yourself and everything that you thought and believed to be true and real. Actually, you have to be willing to let go of your life in order to be born again. (Spiritually speaking).
Most people don’t go here.
They rather stay on the surface level of life trying to make their life work with various techniques and strategies that only gives moments of gratification here and there, and there will never be contentment and the peace that passeth all understanding that can only come from the source of all things which is God/Truth.
So there you are, a huge revelation hits you – and you realize you are not who you have believed yourself to be, the world is not what you though it was and there’s bliss and ecstasy and recognition of true reality.
What happens after the spiritual experience, because it’s an experience, it’s not a permanent state that the ego makes it into being (it imagines it to be, thus the endless search for bliss), is that usually after a while hell breaks loose.
Yes, things will get pretty ugly and uncomfortable for a while.
That’s the honest truth, and when this happens, the ego usually thinks something has gone really wrong so it tries to take control and steer the direction into the happy place again. (Option number 1 above).
What Spirit directs us to do however, is to give into it. To give into the process of the grinding of the ego.
Remember, spiritual awakening is not for the person, it’s from the person.
When all kinds of feelings and thoughts come up (because they will), keep quiet, abide in the self, and watch where life moves you without trying to change anything.
These are just feelings, let them come and go. They don’t stick as long as we don’t make them into being us (identifying with them), however severely uncomfortable they may be, they come up as a part of the process.
Abandon yourself to it. No need to analyse them or understand them or anything.
Just throw yourself into the void of nothingness and trust that whoever is doing this is also holding it all. It’s for you.
“Take me God, I’m yours! Do what you want, I’m all yours! Thy will be done”
This is about transcending concepts and beliefs, not about clinging on to new ones that promises you to “feel better”.
Trust that Life is gracious to you.
Go into solitary confinement with yourself. Be alone for a while.
Don’t speak too soon and don’t share just yet. Be still.
- Don’t make any conclusions about anything.
- Don’t try to understand.
- Don’t think about what to say to others, don’t think about next week.
Stay neutral, yet attentive to the stillness within.
Stay fresh and open in the present moment.
Don’t push, and don’t deny – don’t hide, and don’t try to escape.
Stay with it.
Keep your experiences and revelations to yourself for now.
And be certain that all sorts of feelings will come up when Grace moves through you, and this is not something you need to intend or chose, it’s none of your business other than just letting yourself be transformed.
Feelings of anger, arrogance, irritation, resentment and fed-up-ness will come up.
There will be times when you feel judgmental and impatient with others.
Many things will come up. Let it come up and let Grace do the work and clear those emotions away.
It’s not your job.
Don’t do anything, maybe not even self inquiry for a while.
Doing nothing doesn’t mean watching TV and dulling yourself by the way.
It means: keep quiet, be alone, walk in nature, meditate, work in the garden, relax and be committed to what your intuition is guiding you to do or not do.
Don’t spend excessive time online, take a break from all distractions for a while and just be.
This is passing, and the more relaxed you can be about it (trusting that there’s a higher intelligence that has the whole picture), the easier it gets, and soon enough you will come out on the other side – filled with gratitude, bursting with love and you will want to bring that to the world and share that.
Then you’ll be ready for the world again.
So for now; rest, let the emotional detox happen all by itself – all you have to do is to be committed to Truth and It will take care of the rest, it’s not your job to figure out anything.
Leave yourself alone.
Let Grace transform you.
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