Leave Yourself Alone (Let Grace Move Through You)

There’s two scenarios that can happen after a powerful insight or a wonderful spiritual experience of bliss and realization of our true self/nature, and that is:

.1 The ego takes hold of the experience and makes it into “this happened to me” (“I’m special, chosen, I have arrived, I’m enlightened” etc etc) and then basically from then on the ego (the conditioned self) will be searching for that experience again and again, and again. (But will never “find” it again). 

It will do all kinds of crazy things to try to get that experience “back”, such as starve itself (aka purifying the body), chant mindlessly and obsessively in order to try to get that “high” back, or it will stay on the mainstream level of spirituality and endlessly tap on the meridians to ‘attract the perfect soul-mate’ that will make them happy and so on.

In short; It will do all it can to feel good all the time (“get what you want”-mentality), or even slightly better (as this moment is never good enough for the ego), and it will never succeed so there will be lots of struggle, striving and frustration.

2. You go in the other direction; you let yourself fall into the abyss of darkness and you let Grace work through you and remove all that is not of Truth.

You embrace the void, and you give yourself over to God completely.

If you chose this path, you will have to be willing to let go of yourself and everything that you thought and believed to be true and real. Actually, you have to be willing to let go of your life in order to be born again. (Spiritually speaking).

Most people don’t go here.

They rather stay on the surface level of life trying to make their life work with various techniques and strategies that only gives moments of gratification here and there, and there will never be contentment and the peace that passeth all understanding that can only come from the source of all things which is God/Truth.

So there you are, a huge revelation hits you – and you realize you are not who you have believed yourself to be, the world is not what you though it was and there’s bliss and ecstasy and recognition of true reality.

What happens after the spiritual experience, because it’s an experience, it’s not a permanent state that the ego makes it into being (it imagines it to be, thus the endless search for bliss), is that usually after a while hell breaks loose.

Yes, things will get pretty ugly and uncomfortable for a while.

That’s the honest truth, and when this happens, the ego usually thinks something has gone really wrong so it tries to take control and steer the direction into the happy place again. (Option number 1 above).

What Spirit directs us to do however, is to give into it. To give into the process of the grinding of the ego.

Remember, spiritual awakening is not for the person, it’s from the person.

When all kinds of feelings and thoughts come up (because they will), keep quiet, abide in the self, and watch where life moves you without trying to change anything.

These are just feelings, let them come and go. They don’t stick as long as we don’t make them into being us (identifying with them), however severely uncomfortable they may be, they come up as a part of the process.

Abandon yourself to it. No need to analyse them or understand them or anything.

Just throw yourself into the void of nothingness and trust that whoever is doing this is also holding it all. It’s for you. 

Take me God, I’m yours! Do what you want, I’m all yours! Thy will be done”

This is about transcending concepts and beliefs, not about clinging on to new ones that promises you to “feel better”.

Trust that Life is gracious to you.

Go into solitary confinement with yourself. Be alone for a while.

Don’t speak too soon and don’t share just yet. Be still.

  • Don’t make any conclusions about anything.
  • Don’t try to understand.
  • Don’t think about what to say to others, don’t think about next week.

Stay neutral, yet attentive to the stillness within.

Stay fresh and open in the present moment.

Don’t push, and don’t deny – don’t hide, and don’t try to escape.

Stay with it.

Keep your experiences and revelations to yourself for now.

And be certain that all sorts of feelings will come up when Grace moves through you, and this is not something you need to intend or chose, it’s none of your business other than just letting yourself be transformed.

Feelings of anger, arrogance, irritation, resentment and fed-up-ness will come up.

There will be times when you feel judgmental and impatient with others.

Many things will come up. Let it come up and let Grace do the work and clear those emotions away.

It’s not your job.

Don’t do anything, maybe not even self inquiry for a while.

Doing nothing doesn’t mean watching TV and dulling yourself by the way.

It means: keep quiet, be alone, walk in nature, meditate, work in the garden, relax and be committed to what your intuition is guiding you to do or not do.

Don’t spend excessive time online, take a break from all distractions for a while and just be.

This is passing, and the more relaxed you can be about it (trusting that there’s a higher intelligence that has the whole picture), the easier it gets, and soon enough you will come out on the other side – filled with gratitude, bursting with love and you will want to bring that to the world and share that.

Then you’ll be ready for the world again. 

So for now; rest, let the emotional detox happen all by itself – all you have to do is to be committed to Truth and It will take care of the rest, it’s not your job to figure out anything.

Leave yourself alone.

Let Grace transform you.

 Thy Will Be Done


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  4. Mark

    It’s like you were there with me these past 18 months. After my awakening experience I followed very closely to the first option. Wild projections, preaching till the cows came home, it was wonderful and crazy at the same time. Then of course it all came crashing down. Part of me wishes I would have read this article right after it happened. But I know that I needed to learn this lesson well.

    There’s nothing like a few months of hell to really hit home. Though I started off ignorant an arrogant there was one thing that’s been true from the start, I am absolutely committed. I can’t even express the change, now I have no desire to talk about my self but my heart goes out to help others.

    Even that’s been refined to when it seems appropriate. I definitely have transitioned to the second option with a sincere ernestness for the Truth. It’s seems there is a point where sharing can be helpful. I’ve been a little gun shy after seeing how unproductive and off-putting premature sharing can be. I wonder how you were feeling and where you were at when you started sharing to the world?

  5. Hmm,.. where do I even begin!

    Well, first of all, I’ve always been ‘different’ and I’ve always known it, and I have ever since I was a child been close to the Unseen and had spiritual experiences, and I also knew that other people didn’t have those as I did so it became obvious to kind of just not talk about them as the times I did people didn’t believe me.

    But I was never ‘bothered’ by it, meaning; I didn’t feel the need to talk with others about it, and since they were natural to me, the experiences wasn’t such a big deal to me in the sense of wanting to share them with the world.

    Something that I’ve seen a lot over the years working with people that are on the spiritual awakening process path, is that many people get overexcited and think they are the new Jesus or Buddha after they’ve got a little peek into Truth.

    The spiritualized ego often gets that way after having had a spiritual awakening experience, it thinks it’s ‘the chosen one’ and the savior of humanity.

    (Anyways, I don’t work with people who are in the spiritual awakening process anymore!)

    I’ve also always been the natural go-to-person all my life when people have needed someone to talk to or get some advice on something, it’s just the way I’m wired (I mean I was reading psychology books already as a child!😊), so in that way I have always been ‘helping people’, although I didn’t start working with it until after I was healed from my drug addiction and everything that came with that.

    It was in rehab I started giving healing sessions to people and I also got into school around that time and became a Life Coach and studied Gestalt etc also, plus many other things. (And I’ve always been into personal and spiritual growth and development, also since early age).

    So my path just unfolded very naturally, I don’t even feel like it was something that I chose. I feel more like It chose me, that this, what I’m doing today, is what I’m meant to do, what I was born to do.

    But with that said; I didn’t always know it, I’ve had many ‘jobs’ in my life and felt miserable and completely clueless about what my ‘purpose’ was.

    The work that I’m doing now didn’t start to unfold until I was around 29-30 years old, so before that I had all kinds of different jobs with the only purpose of making money, like the majority of humanity is living (for the sake of just “surviving” and ‘making a living’ basically).

    But even then I always knew that I was here for a specific reason, I just didn’t know what it was or how to even ‘find’ it.

    I am LIMITLESS (and so are you and everybody else) and forever evolving and open and available to expanding and serving (and discovering more) in even bigger (and different) ways, so whatever Life has in store for me, I’m all in, and I highly recommend living life in this way. Just give yourself over to the flow! 😊

    I always follow the flow of my own life’s energy so wherever it takes me, that’s where I’ll go, and this is how I serve the world; through being an instrument of the Divine.

    And we’re all meant to do that in our own way and in whatever profession that is most natural to us, and it’s different for everyone.

    The main thing to remember and focus on in all this, is to put the ego aside and let Life live you and express itself though you, as you, the real you.

    One way to do this is to meditate every morning on what the highest and truest expression of you is and how you can best serve the world today through that expression and through your work or passions or natural inclinations.

    That way you’re always open and available for the Divine to do its work through you without having the ego blabbering away about how special and “spiritually awakened” you are. 😊

    That way fear goes away too, because when you’re serving something higher than your ego, you think more about how you can give than what or how much you can get or how other people will perceive you and what they will think of you (in all your egoic specialness! 😊)

    And I’m not speaking specifically about you! Just in general terms as this is the case many times; people being too overly concerned about themselves so they don’t connect with the higher purpose and power that lives inside of them and that is seeking expression through them.

    You might like this article as well (also an old one):


  6. Mark

    That’s so good and helpful Maria, Thank you. I searched in every direction after this all happened to find this kind of advice. Like you have said though we are given exactly what we need for where we are at the time. At that time I likely would not have truly heard you. Having been through being the second coming lol 😂. I have to say thank God I’m not special or at least no more than any one else. You may not deal directly with the awakening process anymore but to recognize myself in the essence of your words is a blessing. And to have this kind of access to guidance is a true privilege, thank you, thank you, thank you. ♥️

  7. “Second coming” LOL! 😂

    You’re so very welcome Mark, it’s a pleasure and honor to share with you in this way! 😊

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