Clarity on Values Brings Your Life Into Alignment

It’s incredibly powerful to get clear on what we truly value. Not what we think we should value. Not what someone else has told us we should strive for or want. But the things that genuinely matter to us.

What we want. What we value.

Because whether we’re aware of it or not, and I repeat this often because it’s so important; we’re always in alignment with something.

We’re always embodying a story, we’re always moving and having our being in an identity that we’ve either consciously chosen, or unconsciously inherited or been given. One that we have just accepted, without awareness. We just said yes to it, and adapted our being to the expectations it carried.

But when we take a moment to pause and really look, really look, we can begin to see the ‘tone’ of our life, the quiet thread that weaves through our choices and actions. The vibe we carry, the frequency we emit.

It all comes from the values we live by, and again; they can be completely unconscious, but we are always living in alignment with what is most important to us, and that’s what our values are.

Many people don’t know what their values are, some don’t even know that we have values we live by, because they have never thought about that, or examined what their values actually are.

A question to ask yourself just to start getting some awareness around your values is:

“If someone followed me around for a week, what would they say my life is about?”

If you were observing someone that lived your life, lived it like you do, and did the things you do on a daily basis, what would you ‘think’ of you? What would it tell you about ‘that person’?

Asking these things brings clarity, because sometimes what we say we value doesn’t match up with how we actually live. And that’s not something to judge, just something to notice, which these questions help us do.

Awareness always opens the door to change, and it brings choice with it, because once we know something, only then can we change it.

And once we notice it, we can ask and really ponder it:

“What kind of life am I really living? And what kind of life do I want to live?”

Our values change and evolve as we are growing too, so any shift can happen Now.

And the clarity of our values then becomes our North Star, quietly guiding us in how we show up, what we say yes to, and what we don’t want in our lives anymore etc. Things become clear in a very profound way.

It’s an intentional way of living and helps us move closer to the kind of life we desire and yearn for deep down.

Resistance and Self-Sabotage

Here’s something to look out for when you start to shift more into alignment with your core, true values; resistance shows up, and that resistance can sometimes show up as self-sabotage.

For example:

Right when things begin to feel really good in your life and you feel empowered and confident, or the relationship is deepening and becoming more ‘serious’ and committed,..

Or when opportunities start to show up and are flowing towards you in your work for example; when you’re finally breaking through into something more… that’s when our old self can start to panic and freak out.

Because it’s unfamiliar. It’s New, and the thing with the ego-self is that it likes what’s known.

It wants to feel safe and does not like the Unknown, or the unfamiliar, so by stretching into more joy, more love, more abundance, – that’s new territory, so it freaks out and starts to sabotage the new if we’re not aware.

So old patterns can resurface and get triggered, the ones rooted in unworthiness, fear, or the false belief that we don’t deserve the good we’re experiencing.

So we start procrastinating, maybe picking fights and arguing about nothing, or overthinking, or doing things that we know are not good for us – whatever it may be, for the sole reason that the ego-self wants to shrink back into what feels ‘normal’ to it.

But if we can meet that moment with awareness, we can shift everything, and you can bring more awareness to what’s happening by asking yourself: “What am I resisting here? What am I afraid to receive?”

And instead of spiraling into old habits or ways or reacting and behaving, we can take one small, intentional step toward the new, and by doing that, we’re redirecting ourselves back to our values again.

Back to what’s most important to us. What we actually want.

One small action that affirms and supports who we’re becoming and what we’re choosing is enough for the shift to happen and for things to turn around and get back in alignment again.

Values Help Us Not Get Swayed from Our True Path

Because when we get clear on our values, we become less easily swayed by the ego-self’s attempts to sabotage our happiness and freedom.

And that goes for outside influences too.

We are less likely to be pulled off our path or manipulated into situations or belief-systems and ideologies that are not aligned with who we truly are, and what we truly value and want.

The clarity acts as a compass and helps us stay true to who we are and keeps us on our true path despite distractions and other external pressures.

Whether it’s an unhealthy relationship or a cult-like ideology trying to convince us we need to be a certain way or think like others, when we’re rooted in our values, we stand firm, and we can easily say that ‘yeah,.. that’s not gonna work for me. Bye.’

We no longer seek validation from external sources because we know, with certainty, what we stand for, so no one can pull us into something that is not for our good.

We know our values, we know what we stand for and what truly matters to us, so we trust ourselves and our choices and decisions, knowing that our values are the foundation upon which we’re building the life we truly want.

Shared Values

It’s also important to assess the values of those we allow into our lives, whether it’s friends, family, or romantic partners, or whoever it may be.

Knowing someone else’s values can help us understand whether we’re truly compatible or whether we’re simply forcing a connection that isn’t grounded in shared values.

Here are some questions to ask, especially when dating, to better understand someone else’s values.

This can be done in a fun way by the way, not in an interrogation style, but just a fun thing to do when you get to know someone! You could ask questions like:

• How would you describe yourself in three words? This gives insight into how they see themselves and what they prioritize and value.
• How would your friends describe you in three words? This helps reveal how they show up in the world and what qualities they might have.
• What are you most grateful for in your life? Gratitude always points directly to someone’s core values and reveals what’s most important to them.
• What do you look forward to most in your life? This shows what they’re focused on (which always reflects a value) and what they deeply care about.

When we’re clear on our values and have a greater sense of other people’s values as well, we’re also more able to recognize our ‘dealbreakers’—the things that are simply non-negotiable for us.

The things we don’t want, or are not in alignment with.

And again; no judgement, we’re all different, and value different things in life.

Dealbreakers are simply the boundaries we have, and when we’re clear on them, we no longer waste time or energy on people that we don’t vibe or harmonize with, and we can give that energy and attention to people with whom we share values with instead.

So being clear on your values and your dealbreakers not only helps you avoid situations and people that drain your energy, but also gives you the power to walk away from what doesn’t serve your highest good.

It keeps you established in your own power and empowerment, and you can sail through life with much more clarity and confidence.

(Original) image by Honey Yanibel Minaya Cruz on Unsplash.com

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