Stop people pleasing - Your alignment is a good enough reason

No is a complete sentence – But what about Yes?

You don’t have to justify your alignment

We all have situations in life where we’re asked to be true to ourselves, both when it comes to saying No to something, but also about saying Yes.

Like saying yes to something we actually want, but the ego says we can’t have that, or do that, and so on, and the anxiety around those things comes from us being afraid of our own truth, and of our own authenticity.

The triggers are signs that we need better boundaries, or that we need to make a personal choice that goes against what the ego says we’re allowed to do.

Or the pressure from other people (like family, etc.) where we feel like we need a massive explanation for why we don’t want to do something, that we need a ‘valid’ reason for our choices.

We have been taught that we have to justify our No’s

But what about the Yeses?

There we need a different approach, because usually the only opposition you’ll meet is with your own ego, and it’s always going to have an opinion on everything (always, and about everything, literally).

So when you get an intuition about something you want to do, or have, buy, and so on, it will tell you that you can’t, or you shouldn’t, and on top of that it will give you its opinion on its ‘why’.

The ego tells us a lot of things. It will tell you that you “should” do things, or that you “can’t” have that thing you want, or that you “have” to go to that party, and so on, and if you listen to that voice, you’re always going to be led away from your own inner truth.

And then you become resentful, bitter, and so on, and feel stuck, stagnated, etc. – but no one is ‘doing’ anything ‘to’ you, we’re doing it to ourselves by not being true to ourselves.

In essence, we’re afraid of our own autonomy

In relation to other people, it’s not about just saying “No” and then nothing else. It’s about the justification and explanations; those are the things we can leave out.

But with the Yeses, we have to talk against the ego voice – not by talking to ‘it’, but more so by talking to ourselves, so we’re not talked out of what is truly in alignment with us.

Our personal choices are ours to own, and we can say Yes to something just because ‘we want to’, or we can say No to something, also simply because ‘we don’t want to’.

It’s about saying No and Yes from a place of truth within us, but the ego doesn’t get that because it’s more concerned about what other people will think, or how we will look in the eyes of others.

If the ego voice is telling you what you can and can’t do, then you have to take charge of that conversation.

You can stay kind without giving away your power

If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, you can say, “I can’t commit to that right now’, or “That doesn’t really work for me” or “I’m going to pass on this one”.

Things like that; just simple replies, minus the justification and explanation part.

You don’t need a story, and actually, sometimes if we give people that, then they have something to argue against, and then the explanation part becomes what you defend yourself with, and that’s just not a necessary conversation to have.

When it comes to the ego, when your heart wants to say “Yes” to something and the ego starts talking about why you can’t do that thing, or ‘what will people think’, and so on, then you have to do it anyway.

Both instances can be uncomfortable; both saying No and Yes, because both requires stretching outside of our comfort zone, but think of the consequences of going against your own inner truth.

Every time you choose your inner truth over the ego’s ‘shoulds,’ other people’s expectations, or pure obligation, you take your power back.

You’re allowed to choose things just because they feel good, or right, for you – or simply because they feel like the best things for you.

Both your ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ need to come from a place of rightness within your soul, so be true to yourself and trust that your own alignment is a good enough reason on its own.

You don’t need anything else beyond just that.

Photo by Alecu Gabriel on Unsplash (quote added by me).