When No Life Lives Through Us (Utterly Uninspired)
There are times when there seem to be no life living through as at all, at least that’s how it feels, but life is always living through us and as us, but sometimes it’s really quiet, it doesn’t tell us anything, and there’s no inspiration to do anything even if many things ‘should’ be done. (From the ego’s perspective).
What to do when in that mode, how to handle the fact that there might be things we have to attend to, responsibilities and so forth (most of us has rent or mortgages to pay for example no matter how awakened or enlightened we are), and what do we do when there is little or no oomph to life at all and nothing is shown to us no matter how much we look and search for the answer to ‘what’s next’?
Inspiration, involvement, engagement in action and so forth, they all happen in waves but we seem to forget that time and time again even if it happens like everything else happens in life; activity come and go, it goes in and out, like breathing, or like tide and high water.
Contraction, opening, going within, integrating before going out again and so on.
Happy moment, sad moments. Anger, frustration, release from that into inspiration again.
So it can look, it’s pretty much the same thing that happens to all of us from time to time, especially if we are a creative type of person.
Inspiration can’t be forced and sometimes I would love to write an article and especially if I haven’t written in a while, but if inspiration is not there I can just forget about it.
Obviously life doesn’t want me to write just then, even if ‘I’ want to.
We can hate those moments or we can use them to our benefit instead.
With hate I mean that I have personally had moments in my life when I have been so eager to write, I have wanted it so much because I love it, but if there is nothing coming through me I simply can’t force it and there has been times when I have really tried to find the inspiration, I have searched for it, written down a few words to kind of get it going but no, but nothing comes through me, so I have to surrender to that and I have felt annoyed and Grrr’d about it a few times in the past 🙂
And no matter how much we ask within what the true expression of our being is if it’s not writing (as an example, it can be anything, whatever fits into your individual life) there is no response at all.
Not even a small little inkling of an answer is to be heard. Total silence.
How this has evolved for me lately just dawned on me yesterday as I was having a “Maria day” and I realized that I’m not capable to think ahead, no matter what I asked and questions I wrote down to contemplate on, there was no way I could think outside of this moment.
When I noticed that I tried to think back to the past and it was like thinking back trying to remember a fading (nightly) dream.
The past has not been important to me for many years now as I’m more of a ‘now- and future’- oriented person but it’s interesting to experiment and see what the mind does with things such as memories and imaginations.
I then became very curious about not being able to think about things that has been of concern to me lately, such as income and money, but the concern was gone.
I even tried to connect with the fear I felt only a short while ago when I had thoughts about how on earth am I going to be able to support myself and so forth, but it was impossible. It’s gone. I mean totally.
(The situation has not changed, I still don’t know how, but the fear is not there anymore).
These moments has briefly come and gone before (when I’m not able to think about the ‘future’ and when there’s no fear at all, about anything) but it feels more concrete now, as if it’s to stay.
I can’t know of course and I don’t know how to explain how I feel that (it’s intuitive), but it feels like something has clicked into place in my being and there’s a deeper sense of being awareness now.
But one can never know, it might come back suddenly too, but I don’t give that any thought at all because things can always happen in million different directions and ways and we can never know beforehand what it will look like.
Even to not be the least inspired as I was a few days before this morning when I’m writing this, I was more okay with being in that space this time.
As you know from other articles, I have had Maria days for as long as I can remember and I had one yesterday when went for a long walk in silence, attentively listening to life and where it wanted to go.
Yesterday Life wanted to contemplate and walk.
That’s the thing; the ego always wants to do something that it thinks will get it something and it doesn’t really like to take things slow for even a day (sometimes even an hour is agonising for the ego!) because it has ‘so many things to do and not time to just be‘.
But it’s from that beingness the right action will come forth. It always comes from that place, but when life is fear based the ego always thinks it has to manage and fix things, meaning life itself.
But when we allow ourselves to simply be for even a short while, Life opens up and is able to speak to us more clearly.
It’s not about resignation to nothingness, but an acceptance and surrender to the obvious fact that life is not going to move through us in the way that the ego wants it to.
Life is not going to tell us what it wants until we have slowed down and when we are ready to listen to it. The next thing so to speak will not come from ‘us’, it will come from life itself so there’s nothing for us to figure out.
Inspiration is not something we create, it comes through us.
Insights and clear direction is not something we ‘make happen’, it comes naturally when we open up to not-knowingness, when we finally come to the conclusion (usually after a lot of frustration and resistance) that ‘we’ are not going to be able to come up with the ideas that will carry us forward.
We need to slow down and listen to what life wants.
That’s how the inspired life once again can open up.
And then it goes back again soon (into non-action and a sense of flatness perhaps, depending on how we see it), life is like breathing; in and out, action and non-action, letting in and letting out.
And it’s none of our doing, it’s a happening that we can either accept or be against and feel resistance towards.
Intuition clearly speaks – it tells us to back off, take some time off, don’t try to figure anything out, go within, etc etc.
Questions is do we listen, or do we try to force things because we think they have to happen ‘or else’?
Fear about the future is usually about fear of not having something we think we need in the future, that we will lose something if we don’t do this or that, but the reality of any of those fears is that no matter how we try to control events, we still don’t know if we will be able to keep or have the things we are afraid of losing even one moment from now.
It can always go either way, and that’s a fact of everything in life at all times.
One thing can we rely on and that is that as long as we come from a place of integrity life will be alright both for us and in the world. Even at times when things seem to be wrong, we can still look back and see that we did the right thing because we followed what was right in our hearts and we continue to do so.
Then life rights itself whatever situation we’re in.
Of course honest mistakes can be made and sometimes we can look back and think ‘what was I thinking’ or ‘I knew I should not have done that’, but we did, didn’t we.
No regrets anyway; simply learn the lesson and move on. Next time you will know better.
And so life moves and we with it. (As it).
But when there is no life whatsoever, no inspiration at all; then the only thing that will do is to take your hands off the (imagined) steering wheel and let yourself be utterly uninspired.
Take a day off (or an hour at least when you’re totally devoted to silence) and be determined of one thing and one thing only; to stay present but not demanding or even expecting life to reveal anything special or earth shakingly amazing to you this day.
The fog might last for a little while, but there is no resistance to it. It is allowed to be just as much as clarity is allowed to be when we are in that mode.
Allow even the emptiness or nothingness to be as it is just as much as activity and oomph is allowed to be and be neutral about your opinions about which is better or more desirable than the other and then the positive side of that which you resented will come forth all by itself.
Go for walks, make some yummy dinner, write down your thoughts, pray if you feel inclined to do so, meditate, sit by the ocean and listen to the waves, play with your children or your dog, go help someone with that thing you know they need help with (get your mind off of yourself), go have a coffee with a friend, plant some flowers, .. you get the idea.
Take all attention away from trying to fix life so it fits into how you think it should be.
Don’t try to make anything happen, instead let inspiration find you, and it will begin to move in you the moment you relax and open yourself up to life.
Not your idea of life and how it should be (“I want it to be inspiring, I want to be active and engaged in life, I want to be connected” etc) but how life really is, and right now it’s like this – this is how it expresses itself in this moment and being uninspired is just as accepted as being inspired.
Remember the waves, or the breathing in and out. That’s how life moves.
Stop and smell the roses – take some time off just to breathe.