Are You Being Open Or Closed To Love?
“How can I be open for new love in this coming new year and getting through all my unsuccessful love relationships?”
By being open.
Either you’re closed or you’re open, and how do you know when you are what?
You ask yourself; “Am I being open or closed right now?”
In the moment, not in a imagined future scenario in your head, but right now and always now.
“Am I open now?”
When we are in the company of someone, we can pause at any moment and reflect upon our openness as well as any contractions of the heart space.
If we feel that we are closing ourselves somehow, we can pay close attention to that and see if it is our intuition telling us to stay away and leave, or if it has to do with us wanting to protect ourselves somehow, defending ourselves from being hurt by closing our hearts.
If the latter, then investigate that further.
The heart doesn’t need to be protected, it’s free and giving, flowing and – well, loving.
So look closer to the one that feels it needs to protect itself.
Ask questions like:
- Who is it that is scared or frightened?
- Who is this “I” that is fearful?
- Who feels intimidated?
- Who is it in me that is afraid of being vulnerable?
Find out who that is.
How To Be Open For New Love
By being done with the old.
Look closely at how the person you used to be with was your teacher and what wisdom the relationship had to give you. Even the most disastrous relationships has a gift for us.
Maybe the gift was about us being courageous enough to leave. Maybe it was about forgiveness. Maybe it was about friendship. Only your heart knows.
When you know, you can embrace the wisdom, forgive the other person if needed (it’s enough that you feel the forgiveness in your heart), and then move on, better equipped with the wisdom you have gained from the experience, and ready to meet a new person now that you know what you don’t wish to have in your life anymore, and what you do want and accept from now on.
If you don’t see the lesson it brought, you will probably keep bumping into the same old same old until you learn.
Not sure about what you mean by “…getting through all my unsuccessful love relationships?”, but it sounds like you’re still dragging them along somehow and I wonder why, why are you doing that? You don’t have to answer me, but ask that of yourself.
Sometimes we don’t see the obvious until we actually ask, and then it becomes very clear.
I think that it might be helpful for you to look closely at what you accept into your life, to see closely at your boundaries, your standards so to speak, and see if the relationships in your life are up to par.
Maybe they are, and maybe the are not. That is for you to investigate, the most important thing is to be honest with oneself.
Do not expect or demand others to change for you, that’s pure delusion.
Let them be who they are while at the same time accept yourself as you are as well.
Be true to yourself and leave those behind that doesn’t resonate with you anymore.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic or complicated at all. Just a simple recognition that you have grown apart and a silent blessing sent their way as you’re waving goodbye to them.
I don’t believe any relationship can be called “unsuccessful”, because each and every one we have ever had in our lives has been there for a reason and everyone we meet is in some way contributing to our spiritual evolution and human development.
We might not like how it happens and it may be very uncomfortable, but nonetheless. The gift is there somewhere.
You could consider to look at it from that perspective too. Or some totally different view again. I don’t personally believe there are any mistakes.
It’s the openness and willingness to see things differently that opens up for wisdom and freshness in life and how it’s perceived and experienced.
Points of views are not the Truth, they are simply opinions and by knowing that, we can surrender and embrace the relationship-situation with the inner knowing that everything is interconnected so we can’t possible see the whole picture, ever.
Forget about a new year, forget about it, honestly, just be here right now and get time out of the equation all together and respond from the heart in each moment, in every encounter with another person in the moment you meet them.
Keep it simple and fresh, stay in the Now. (And get back to what I wrote in the beginning of the article and ask if you are open or closed right now).
Doesn’t that have a more fresh energy around it than intending or wishing to make the new year better than the last?
Just being here and now, fully present in the moment, allows us to meet each other fresh without any expectations or demands – we simply listen to the heart and gut-feeling and move along with it as it shows us in every instant what is for our highest good and where to go, who to talk with, who to stay away from and what to do, or not do.
That way the heart stays open and flowing.
Below are a few other (both new and old) articles by me that has to do with relationships and about being true to who you are:
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