Protect Yourself: Get Away From Draining People

You do not need to get unfocused and confused by getting involved in other people’s dramas and beliefs about life.

People around you will most certainty be scared of you when you begin to radiate the powerful being that you are, and they will try to pull you down, but there is no need for you to let them.

In fact, you cannot help them if you dip into the negativity with them.

Then you will both be swimming around in your minds, trying to convince each other how life really works. You can’t explain anything to someone who dwells in negativity.

The best thing is to live by example.

For me, it has been a struggle in my past because I have tried to share what works for me with people who really don’t want to hear. Some people will stay mediocre all their life, and they will continue complaining and limiting themselves.

It can be hard to turn your back on them and leave, especially if it is someone close to you.

You really want to share this wonderful knowledge you have discovered that really has helped you to feel free and happy, but some are not receptive. You must accept that and let them live as they choose.

Most importantly, you must let yourself live the way you choose.

The crucial decision in my life is that there is nothing more essential than that I feel good. Sometimes that does mean leaving people behind who have a negative impact in your life. Know that the way they behave is only a reflection of where they are at. It has nothing to do with you.

Some may even laugh at you, call you a hopeless dreamer, and when those people say they are being “realistic,” they are simply being negative. When you feel like someone is draining you of energy, trust it and leave.

Remember that they are not doing anything other than being who they (think they) are, and you should trust that when people show you who they are, that is who they are. Period.

Your job is not to try to change someone, your job is you. By staying in a relationship that is polluting you, that is all your own doing and you should stop. This may sound harsh, but it is the conclusion that I have come to.

Love never hurts. When you have found the love that is within you, you do not depend on being loved or become sad if someone stops loving you.

You can still feel love towards that person without the need for receiving it, because there is no need anymore (need=ego). You already have love- and you still receive it, stronger than ever, within you and from life itself, which is you.

I can still love that someone without the need of being loved back. I can easily let go of a relationship that is over, because I understand that happiness, peace and love really come from within, not from that other person.

You still receive, without the need.

Of course there is grief after a breakup, also when it is between friends, but if something or someone doesn’t feel good or right, then it’s better to leave than to stay in a relationship that is draining.

When leaving, silently bless them and thank them for being the contrast you needed to bring clarity about what you would prefer.

Let go of resentment-remember the saying that it’s “like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Quickly change your focus from what you don’t want in a friend to what you do want, and stay in that energy as much as you can. You will attract what you focus on.

Some of your friends and family will grow with you, and that is wonderful.

You can go places you have never been to together, discover qualities that amaze and delight you, and the more you become true to yourself the easier it becomes to really bond with others. You don’t play roles anymore.

You are not trying to fulfill others’ desires about how they want you to be. There is no compromise anymore.

Even if you thought there wasn’t compromise before, you will come to see that there were times, many in fact, that you felt that you couldn’t be who you are with that particular person, but you weren’t aware of it at the time. You just felt that something was a bit off.

You didn’t know it was you.

Resist the egocentric urge to speak about the other people with the ones you now bond with more, refuse to gossip and marinate yourself in resentment and anger.

There is nothing wrong with the others, nothing! They have just chosen to live differently. And as you think about it, so have you.

Don’t we all want to be respected for the choices we make? Just live, and let live.


Get the book HERE.

Transformational coaching

Align with the Flow and Transform Your Life

What life area do you feel mostly out of alignment with, or want to increase your alignment with?

Love/relationships, money/abundance, purpose/vocation, inner peace/well-being, confidence/true self? 



Maria Erving membership site


  1. Something told me to check my networked blogs today and I am so thankful that I found this blog. This is something I have to remind myself because I find when I am around those people they just drain and I am left feeling bad because I let myself get down to that level. I have definitely book marked this :). Thank you!

  2. Hi Shay!

    So glad to hear that the post found you timely – love when that happens! 🙂

    Yes, it’s definitely important to protect ones energy, and surround ourselves with supportive and – when we occasionally feel a bit down – uplifting energy.

    Where there is a great flow between people that actually elevate each other, that’s the way it should be!

  3. Pingback: Stop Dwelling and Move On! (Let Go) - Maria Erving :: Maria Erving

  4. Vickie

    Wow just clicked on your link this morning and it is exactly what I needed! I have just begun my spiritual journey about two months ago and I love it! My family the ones that I am closest to well they don’t understand and I am stuck feeling alone. I seemed to be surrounded with a lot of negativity and when I try an amp it up I get accused of going to far and being misunderstood.
    I will mark your blog in my favorites to insure that I have some spiritual guidance when I most need it!

    Thank you and have a super day!

  5. Hi Vickie,

    Thank you for your comment – glad you liked it and that it touched you.

    It’s a process for sure, and some of it will be fierce and not so comfortable, but through it we go, it’s just a matter of being aware of the process and willing to go through the transformation.

    The spiritual journey is not about feeling better, but to truly feel and by that transform.

    Some people may leave, in some cases all people will leave, and there will probably be a time where you need to be alone, not lonely, but alone.

    And to get there, you might need to feel loneliness until that transforms to being OK with being alone. And by then, you aren’t, because you have come to feel a larger presence in your life. (=God/Source/Life)

    The thing to remember here is that trying to explain to people who are not on a spiritually path consciously is more or less fruitless because they can’t relate to what you’re going through.

    My suggestion to you is to just keep going and realize that all change that’s going to happen to you from now on will be seen and experienced by them regardless of your explanations.

    They will notice (and some will not like your change, but that’s not your problem, everyone has to take responsibility of their own responses to what’s happening), and some of them might be interested in learning more about the new you that is emerging, and those will be open to hear about it.

    Then, one day, you might re-unite with some of the peeps that might be falling away from you now.

    Always come back to this moment and stay here and now.

    The ‘future’ will come by itself.

    Just be clear about the energy you feel is best to leave behind (for now at least) and what’s worth keeping, and most importantly tend to your own energy and beingness.

    Just by doing that everything else will take care of itself.

    Stay true to yourself – no compromises 🙂

    All the best,


    PS: Here’s a couple of my old posts that you might find interesting:

  6. Pingback: Being Authentic Means Respecting Yourself (Relationship tips) :: Maria Erving

  7. Pingback: Being Authentic Means Respecting Yourself (Relationship tips) :: Maria Erving

  8. Pingback: Full Moon Tonight! · Maria Erving

  9. Christine

    Thank you times 108!! I needed this perfect timing thank you so much… this spoke to me on ALL levels! Much love namaste!

  10. Pingback: Are You Being Open Or Closed To Love? · Maria Erving

  11. Pingback: When people show you who they are... · Maria Erving

  12. Pingback: Beliefs, Opinions and Realizations · Maria Erving

Add A Comment