When a Life-altering Shift Happens

You will loose your world as you know it, and once again, that’s what has happened to me.

This time around I know what it is about as I have gone through this before when the shift happened with the spiritual awakening experience a few years back.

Here’s a couple of my older articles where I share more about that: 



If you have followed my website for the past years you know I have gone from being all about personal development, new age and law of attraction and so on in the past, and then when the awakening experience happened, I shifted away from mainstream spirituality of course as it has nothing to do with spiritual awakening and in the process I lost most of my readers and followers and my mailing list shrank to, .. well, I lost about 95 % of all my peeps.

But I had no choice but to follow what was true in my heart and it was completely out of the question to continue teaching and writing about law of attraction and all that when the shift of consciousness happened.

So I left the mainstream spiritual arena and personal development etc as it became totally irrelevant to me and now recently I have gone through yet another profound shift.

I have been writing and sharing about the spiritual awakening process since the last shift and now I have had another one that has changed everything once again.

I will probably lose people again, and if so then that’s fine – I have to keep being true to myself and evolve and live the realizations and go where life takes me regardless of if I have support from the world and other people or not.

There are a few of you that I know has been with me for a very long time now, and I want you to know that I am fully aware of you, and I appreciate you beyond words. You mean a lot to me.

You know who you are, there’s a heart-connection that we can feel between us.

At the moment I’m in a transitional phase and as this is not new to me in the sense that I have gone through this before, it’s a bit different now because I’m in a different place with myself as well than before. (I’m more aware and more spiritually mature today). 

What I feel is that my mind has been cleansed (whereas before it was rewired in a way, now it’s cleaned out from even that) and new directions and interests are unfolding, but I don’t know exactly how or where this will go.

Some of the new interests has surprised me big time – a whole new world has opened up for me and I’m like a child that has got new exciting toys to play with 🙂

I can’t really relate to many of the things I had said in the past anymore, just like I couldn’t go on telling people that they create their lives and attract things and so on like I use to believe fully in before the awakening, now I can’t say to people to trust God, let go let God take over, have faith in God and so on, because now I have come to the full realization that there is no God, so obviously everything changes with that knowing.

And I’m very aware of the fact that not all people will be able to relate to that, and maybe even take offence of me saying a thing like that, but I have to stay true to who I am.  

Ah, Life! What an incredible journey it is! Disturbing and beautiful at the same time 🙂

I have no clue how I will support myself financially now and so I have applied for hundreds of jobs all over the world, and I see the old (my life as it was) crumble more and more. (While feeling something new being born at the same time). 

And don’t take this the wrong way; I know that this is all a very good thing!

It’s an evolutionary process and I’m in transition between the old and the new, but not in a small way, but in a huge, profound, life-altering way and because of the bigness of the transformation I don’t know if I will build up a new way of life all over again, or how this will progress.

There is no way of knowing, and that part I’m completely at peace with so that’s not an issue for me.  

I have been true to myself all the way, and that is what has allowed me to come to this point.

We all have a handful of defining moments in life that we can all point to and say “from that point on everything changed”, and this is one of mine.  

It has been a bit challenging at times to not have any interest whatsoever in being sociable and promoting myself on the social media and so forth as the interest has faded completely.

It’s part of having a business that you kind of have to promote yourself, you have to be sociable and post on Facebook everyday and so on, but I can’t at the moment, I simply can’t.

If someone asks me questions I can answer though and be there for others that way, but to initiate something is very hard right now, the inspiration to do so is not there. But the ability to respond to other peoples needs is there, if that makes sense.

The most important thing to me is to stay authentic and honest with myself.

I can’t even write at the moment. (But again; I can respond to your requests: Ask Maria).  

I have to be in this with absolute sincerity, and without avoidance. (Which also is no issue for me, it’s a given to be truthful with myself and to be fully in any processes I find myself in).  

So I don’t know when I’ll be back so to speak, maybe tomorrow, maybe a week from now, or a month, I don’t know.

Many times though when I have shared a personal thing like this, a new door of inspiration and creativity has opened up for me, and that’s really how life operates, it responds to our willingness to be totally open to it, with a sincere acceptance to what is without judgement.

And sometimes it opens a new door immediately while other times it takes time. We can never know. 

I can honestly say that I don’t see anything wrong or bad with any of this, and I know without a doubt that this is the best thing that could ever had happened to me, although the reality of being in a tight spot financially is a bit challenging, it’s still what it is and I have literally nothing to lose by being open about it. 

This blog is like a book about my spiritual journey over the years and who knows what the next chapter will be about.

As I wrote to my mailing list last week or so, this is in a way a description of how I feel:

“The free mind is empty of beliefs and concepts and it’s open but not open enough to allow just about anything in.

It’s open yet critical and it understands that doubt is good, that looking deeply into that is what leads to liberation.

It knows it doesn’t need to know every tiny bit regarding the mystery of life yet it remains curious and hungry for truth.

What a shift in consciousness does is that it leaves us with a new and fresh mind, and only one thing can I know for sure and that is that we don’t know anything for sure, ever.

The new interests and directions that are emerging from the renewed mind can be very surprising to say the least. (In a good way).

It’s crucial to stay true to oneself and to let things go, even if it means everything about the life you once thought of as real and true.

Perspective changes and the mind gets turned upside down and a literal shift, or transformation, takes place that changes everything.

It’s like the mind gets cleaned up and emptied out. We loose the chains that beliefs create.

Before we have let go totally into the nothingness (unknown) there can be doubt and uncertainty, but then suddenly Truth strikes and we are set free.

Why is that?

Because we dared to look beyond that which we had taken as real for maybe all our lives.

We remained courageously curious and that is what ultimately sets the mind free”.

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  1. Basharat Ali

    I hope you get through your transition, and I wish you all the best.

    My awakening has been traumatic at times.

    I suppose everything gets back to surrender.

    The ego can’t figure it out. Eventually after much resitance, there comes a surrender.

    Your blog has been comforting to me during the strangest time in my life. I thank you.

  2. I’m glad you find what I write and share here on my blog helpful, thanks for saying that.

    As I said in the article too; this process (or transition) is not something I consider as being a difficult transition per se as I have been through that already the first time it happened a few years ago. (When I didn’t know what was happening to me).

    Now I feel more freedom and liberation, freshness of mind, more love than ever before towards humanity and the planet and so on. It’s like a new birth all over again.

    I would say it’s not just about surrendering (to the truth within you), but a part of it, yes, but it’s also a lot about letting go, investigating deeply within, questioning everything, and having a hunger and love for Truth – wherever it leads us.

    I have that – and I have the zest for life, and the curiosity that has never allowed me to settle, and for that I am so grateful.

    Life is a process that is never-ending and the more aware and mature we become in our spirituality, the more enjoyable Life itself becomes as well.

    There’s always a peace that holds everything, even when we have challenges in life as we all have at times, like for example the financial challenges I have now, there’s no worry or fear involved.

    I actually look very much forward to what’s to come, and I also look forward to when my inspiration opens up again.

    Every person who does work that is inspired from a deeper place within knows that the periods has their highs and lows when it comes to the intensity, and that it can’t be forced.

    Inspiration, creativity, all that, .. it comes from within and it has its own ways of showing up when we least expect it 🙂

    You’ll see; suddenly one day I’m back on the social media and are writing again – it’s just important as I said before too, to not push it and try to force something to come forth when it’s not there yet.

    (And if you’re a member you can always submit your questions and topic requests to me at any time, questions from others usually inspires me a lot. More info can be found on my Ask Maria-page).

  3. Bonnie

    I just wanted to say I love your blog! I have been reading every day since I’ve signed up and you truly do make others feel better. You inspire others. Thank you for making my life better and I hope you can keep your blog going with your updates on you. I look forward to them.

  4. BIG hug back Bonnie! 🙂

    Thank you for your kind words ♥

    I’m sure I will continue writing and sharing, but like the last time I had a huge shift like this (when I left all the LOA stuff behind) the content on my site will obviously change too.

    Last time I lost a lot of people because I went from sharing about how to control life, how to create and manifest and so on to the complete opposite (that we are not in control of life), and now it’s a similar thing that has happened but in a new direction again, this time away from God and surrendering to the will of God etc, as I have realized (once again) that there is no God (which was very liberating and freeing).

    So I know that I will lose some readers as many will probably still want to hold on to the concept and go on believing in a God, just like most people wanted to hold on to the belief that they can manifest and attract this and that with their thoughts and all that.

    It’s totally fine with me (everybody is free to believe whatever they want, I’m just not into any kind of beliefs at all, what drives me is the hunger and love for for Truth, and Truth itself will – without a doubt – remove all beliefs and concepts in the process of awakening, and this means for everyone), and of course this also means that some new peeps will find me too and relate to the new me so to speak so it’s all good 🙂

    And some will continue to grow and evolve along with me and we can discover new things about life together.

    Somehow I feel intuitively that I’m moving into a more expansive way of expressing myself, maybe by speaking about my journey and experiences, maybe holding spiritual meetings and groups, .. I’m not sure, but something is brewing and I feel good about it.

    (And I’m still available for sessions: mariaerving.com/sessions)

    Until then I will keep looking for work (worldwide) and do what I can in that department as we all have living costs to take care of.

    I’m certainly open to new things to emerge and unfold, but just like the last time I have no clue of how or where, but the difference this time is that now I know what’s going on and I’m more mature and have insight into all these processes.

    Thank you again for your kind words Bonnie, I really appreciate it, and I’m glad to hear you’ll stay with me 🙂

  5. Tacyn

    I will stay with you…I am curious and want to know where your journey takes you. Thank you for sharing, I learn so much from you.

  6. Short reply last night, I was tired.

    Again, I’m very happy to have such great peeps like you in my life – even if I haven’t met you in person or even spoken to some of you – I feel that there’s a connection there and that I appreciate very much.

    Life is a continuous of processes and revelations and discoveries and the more open and curious we are, the more we get to see and experience, if not always outwardly or physically, the inner journey is vaster than the outer isn’t it.

    There are infinite discoveries to make.

    And all is welcomed (or at least accepted as happenings), however it shows itself, or whatever we have gone through.

    Defining moments in life can be both some kind of crisis, (divorce, losing a dear one, addictions etc), or it can be a beautiful thing too (like when we have a profound realization of Truth) where we one day can draw a line in the sand that marks the end of one period in life and where the new is to begin, and we can do it with a smile on our face 🙂

  7. Just to remind you; the moment someone asks me something, my inspiration goes into high gear, so ask away! 🙂 (and submit requests) I love hearing from you.

    Here’s a question and reply on Facebook today, hope you find it inspiring: (Click on “comments” to read it on FB).

  8. Pingback: I'm an Artist at Heart · Maria Erving

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