Spiritual Awakening and Feeling Lost

“… I feel that I have recently become awake or more aware. My truths have shifted tremendously. I’m feeling completely lost and almost insane due to my reality shift. I feel my current path is not mine but a product of my surroundings and sleeping self. I was a completely close minded person. I have stop caring about material things and now only yearn to know truth. I have a family but feel the need to escape. I’m lost…”

I’ve got this question from one of my readers, and I want to start out by saying that this is so very typical, and believe it or not, it’s actually “normal” when in the spiritual awakening process.

The spiritual awakening process will remove everything that is not in alignment with Truth and in the process our interests and passions change, and they change big time. (Not always, but usually).

The world as we know it is about to transform and it will change whether we like the transformational process or not.

What to do?

What to do when life becomes totally flattened out and even the interest for family and friends vanishes?

What to do when everything shifts and suddenly life is very different, our perspective is different and there’s no vitality or oomph left?

The mind tries to desperately understand what’s going on, but it never will, thus the feeling of almost going insane. The mind tries to figure out an escape-plan, a way out, but it just can’t.

It can’t escape itself.

So what to do?

The answer is: Surrender.

Give yourself over to the process completely.

You know the intuitive knowing that there’s another way of Life waiting for you..? That there’s something else? Trust it. 

The real You is in a process of coming alive again, and with that the true expression of who you really are is coming forth. It’s good news! (Bad news for the ego though, as it means the death of it).

Spiritual awakening is not a one-time-event and then we’re suddenly enlightened, oh, no, .. nope. It’s the beginning actually, not an “arrival”.

There’s stuff to be relinquished, things and even people to let go of, we are being stripped off of all that we have held as truths and only that which is true in reality will remain.

That includes all our previously held beliefs and ideas of how life is. The mind gets emptied of all concepts, that you can count on.

It doesn’t mean that you will loose your family, that’s not what I mean, but there will be an inner re-alignment that will happen and when this happen things will be felt very chaotic and disorienting.

Time alone is needed.

You can ask that of your family, even a 30-minute meditation everyday where you can be alone and simply be will be beneficial, not only for you, but for your family as well. No need to go off to live in a cave, although that is sometimes what we would prefer; believe me I know this so well:-)

If you’re inclined towards prayer, that would be great to turn to as well.

Here’s a prayer that you might resonate with:

“God, remove everything that is not of you. I prefer that you just rip it off rather than going it the slow way; just rip it off like a band-aid, whatever it is, I’m ready! And if I’m not ready on some level unbeknown to me; then make me ready! I want ONLY that which is real and true, no matter what”

And then you can say things like (and mean it!) “Open doors that only you can open and close doors that are not for my highest good”, and also “God, replace me with you”.

See what happens when you do this.

You need to be sincere, obviously, and totally surrendered to whatever comes up.

Life is about to change so buckle up!

Above all, stay true to yourself, allow yourself to go in a whole new direction and be ready to let go of the life that you once imagined you had or wanted, it may turn out to be totally different than you could ever had imagined.

Just let yourself be transformed, that’s what can be done basically, because this is Life/God/Consciousness doing its thing and it will not let you go. It’s Its promise.

It’s like a totally mysterious adventure, once we let go and let life take over and live us.

Challenges will appear, sure, but always remember the prayer and know that you have been heard.

God is speaking to itself, it is Its desire to Life and express itself as You. (Not the ‘you’ that you imagine yourself to be).

Who knows where this will take us! No one knows, and that’s where our freedom lies, in the not-knowingness and the willingness to be totally naked and empty before God (so to speak, you get what I mean).

It’s in the surrender and the trust that you will find your way home again, back to yourself.

Return to Self


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  1. Nina

    I’m somewhat still at this stage, but now I’m unsure how to proceed. I’ve been unemployed for the past nine months and all I do is sleep my days away. I’ve been trying to lift myself up, but find myself lost again. I’m not sure what I’m suppose to do or where to turn. How do I move forward and be? Thank you.

  2. To go through periods where one is very tired (almost exhausted) is a part of the process, so if you feel intuitively that that’s what’s going on with you then it’s important that you don’t resist but instead let your body and mind do the purging that it does by sleep. (You don’t do anything but let your being do it).

    So if you need to sleep a lot for a period, then do that. There will come a time when you are full of energy, and it will come faster when you surrender to what is and let yourself be tired if that is what your body is telling you.

    I came to think of this verse in the Bible:

    A Time for Everything

    There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

    A time to give birth and a time to die;
    A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.

    A time to kill and a time to heal;
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.

    A time to weep and a time to laugh;
    A time to mourn and a time to dance.

    A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
    A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.

    A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.

    A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
    A time to be silent and a time to speak.

    A time to love and a time to hate;
    A time for war and a time for peace.

    Google “Ecclesiastes 3” and you’ll find the rest of the verse if it resonates with you.

    To be tired can also be a way for the ego to try to escape and avoid transformation, so really look into that within yourself to see what rings true in your heart.

    Here’s an article that you might like, it describes how the ego avoids stillness:


    For the mind it’s completely illogical to seek stillness first, and especially when it feels threatened as it may feel when being unemployed and feel the need for survival and so on. (It’s a natural need all living creatures have, the need to have food and shelter etc, so it’s not to be judged as something wrong, it’s just how we are programmed as living beings).

    So my suggestion to you would be to bring some – even a tiny bit – of structure into your life where you set aside such and such much time to look for work each day and then let it all go when you’re done and turn your undivided attention on the Truth within your heart.

    That way you can give the mind some rest so to speak while it feel like it has done it’s job (helping you survive/seek for employment, as the ego sees itself separate from the world and thinks it is its job to keep you alive, but in reality its not as Life takes care of Life) and do this for a while just to create some structure and discipline to your daily life.

    Time spent in solitude is so valuable and everybody that really takes some time off of everything benefits hugely by doing so, but it’s also important to look within to see if it is a sincere and honest urge from the heart, or if it is the ego trying to escape from life itself.

    As human beings we are trained to always seek answers by asking questions that are directed to somewhere outside of ourselves, when the most profound way to see anything clearly is actually by letting go of the need to know and instead welcome uncertainty and not-knowingness.

    From stillness – that’s where Life springs from.

    By just being still and even to drop all questions we may have is so much more
    revealing and liberating, because by doing that we are able to see what’s already here.

    And it happens the moment you surrender your difficulties and striving and the mind is freed from the burden of always seeking solutions (so if this moment in your life requires you to look for work for example, then do that for a specific time each day and when you’re done simply let it all go until the next day), because it’s usually always about how to get away from this moment to a moment we imagine is better out there in the future.

    So this moment is wasted, we’re not really here, not really present.

    It’s about following the next obvious thing, and sometimes it means to take a step back and do nothing, and sometimes some kind of action is asked for (by Life) but you will feel this when you start to dig deeper within.

    You can even ask yourself “who is it that is tired all the time?” and then listen attentively to what comes up and then question your answers again and see what comes up next and so on.

    Investigate who’s tired, but don’t analyse. It’s not a mental investigation, it’s a feeling-thing (intuition).

    And always remember that God is never late and the more relaxed we are, the clearer we can pick up on the messages and directions from the intuitive feeling that is always available.

    And then from that relaxed state we are so much more open to see how Life is actually unfolding before us without our efforts to make things go in a specific direction.

    We can’t know what’s around the corner, but we can see to it that we are available to Life at every moment by simply being here and now, being attentive to the still voice within.

  3. Nina

    Thank you muchly Maria. 🙂 I’ve been shedding so much of the old stuff. I have been tired, but recently it feels more like the ego pulling me back from completely surrendering. It knows it’s time to wake up from a long slumber and trust the process. Thanks again 🙂 *Hugs*

  4. You’re very welcome Nina 🙂

    Just one note; it’s not the ego that is waking up – it’s consciousness (Life/Truth/God) waking up to itself, and in that process the ego will die so to speak, and it knows it.

    The ego can feel that there’s nothing in it for It in the awakening so it does all it can to avoid it and thus it distracts you from looking within more deeply. (That way it can “survive” longer).

    Here’s another article that you may like: (I don’t remember if it’s for members only).


  5. Kerry O'Malley

    The past year has presented two failed relationships (one a relationship that had lasted 7 years) and the loss of my job. My world imploded. I was at my lowest of lows and sleeping all day, every day. I was in a very bad way mentally. After some months, I suddenly went into an auto-pilot mode and started to change my situation. I made very big changes.

    I’m now about 5 months after the worst of it and I’m finding myself changing. I wandered into the organic foods store and found myself preferring the food. I want to nourish my body and take care of it. I’m reading lots of spiritual books and am feeling tingling sensations in my feet. I’ve also noticed how connected I feel to animals and to people. Even strangers. I’m curious to keep moving in this direction and only just learned of ‘spiritual awakening’. When I read the ‘symptoms’, it really read like what I’m experiencing and I filled with utter joy.

    For months my mind was so busy with the sorrows of my past. I had to re-hash EVERY hurt (my mind brought it all up to work out). Now, I feel as if I am empty of all the hurting and sort of cleansed. I am almost in an auto-pilot mode but with more energy and I feel more conscious. I’m in my 40s. I’m still unemployed but am calm and trusting that everything is unfolding as it should. I’m actually a bit scared of what comes next and scared that the awakening won’t progress but stall or retreat. I’m glad to have found this site. I feel I need to talk to someone who will understand this. I’ve not told my family. Not sure how to word it without them thinking I’m a nut.

  6. With spiritual awakening our whole foundation of life starts to shift and that can be experienced as hell has broke loose to put it mildly, but the more aware we are about the processes, the easier it is to see the goodness of grace that is doing all this.

    Everything will go through a transformational process and things will change; our inner as well as the outer world, like for example our values and how we take care of ourselves may change.

    I myself was for example drawn to become a vegetarian, and it was not something I could have even imagined a few years before because I used to love meat, and so this was something consciousness chose, not the person-me.

    Here’s an old article that you might like:


    Truth will undo everything that is not in alignment with it (and for some that may involve healthier eating habits, but this is highly individual and there’s no changes that are more holy and spiritual than others) and in this process (which can take many years) we might be drawn to do some inner work as you mentioned as well with past issues and so on (I myself went to drug rehab for example and did lots and lots of healing work), and the most important thing is to honor where we are and always stay true and honest with ourselves and not go ahead of ourselves.

    Truth will keep showing you what you need to look closer at and let go of etc (this is ultimately a path of surrender), and it will also show you glimpses of what’s to come so to speak.

    You’re absolutely right, everything is unfolding as it should, and you can be sure also of the fact that you won’t regress. It’s just as sure as you can’t go back being a teenager again 🙂

    Actually, the process of awakening will make us feel like a newborn in many ways, and every moment is new and fresh, without past and future projections.

    There will come times when you may feel stuck and stagnated, but that is also totally normal in this process.

    I think you might find this article helpful/interesting:


    I’m available for spiritual guidance sessions on Skype, so if you feel like talking with me about all this then simply write me an email and we’ll take it from there: http://mariaerving.com/contact/

  7. Kerry O'Malley

    Thank you for this info, Maria. I’m glad to know that there will be no regression. That makes sense to me how you put that it’s as if we cannot revert to being a teenager.

    My drive to eat more healthily is being integrated slowly. I try to eat organic as much as possible but am not 100% organic. As you said, it is a process and I’m just going by what my body feels. I’ve long contemplated going veg. I used to live near a slaughterhouse and when I would drive to work, I’d see the pigs being transported in large trucks. My heart would hurt for them but it didn’t change my eating habits then.

    The relationships gone bad were a signal to me at this stage in my life (early 40s) that my habits of handling intimate relationships were not ‘correct’ anymore. I was choosing partners out of need for approval and not fully understanding that I am the only one who can approve of me. I saw that I am good as I am and to never accept anything less. Getting rid of the things that do not fit anymore. I was approached by someone only weeks ago who was ready to approve of me fully, said they would love me and take care of me and at first I was saying to myself ‘at last someone who gets what I need’. But then I realized that this was very impulsive and would never work. I turned that person down gently and for the first time in my life I feel like I do not need a partner to make me feel whole. It’s liberating.

    I’m excited at my transformation. I’m patient for my future to unfold and show me even more beauty.

    I’m grateful for this place to talk about things. Thank you.

  8. I know what you mean, I knew before I chose to become a vegetarian that the animals were abused and suffered, but I also told people that “I don’t want to hear it, don’t ruin my dinner” and then life just moved me in that direction suddenly, totally organically, so there weren’t any ‘choice’ involved in it, it was just Life showing me the truth bit for bit, as much as I could take in at a time, and then the choice was just completely obvious (And I haven’t missed meat at all, not one single time have I craved it since I made the decision).

    So the way you go about it (to just follow the body’s signals) is absolutely the way to go, otherwise it would not be sincere and thus not sustainable, we would only do it “because it’s spiritual” or coming from a place of being righteous about it or something like that, thinking others are making the wrong choices.

    (And I still eat cheese etc, while knowing within me that that will probably also come to and end someday, but right now I don’t feel completely drawn to veganism so I won’t go there just yet, and who knows, I may never, I don’t know).

    Thanks for sharing about your relationship as well and the encounter you had with the person you met recently, he/she was perhaps sent your way to test you to see how committed you are to Truth, and not only to feel good or better because of another person’s presence in your life.

    Yes, this is an adventure in itself isn’t it – this event we call Life 🙂

    I’m glad you find my writings helpful to you on your path, thank you for sharing that.

  9. Kerry O'Malley

    Go with the flow, is my motto.

    I live in an area that is very bohemian. A lot of spirituality is here and I would often view the people who were heavy-duty spiritual as some kind of strange species. I didn’t understand them or their lifestyle. I now understand it much better and feel I’m moving in their direction! I’m right where I need to be. That I know for sure.

    Wherever this adventure takes me, I will surrender to it. Nothing will be forced. I even looked at spiritual groups to join but I’m not sure I am ready for that step yet. It is still a somewhat personal thing to me and I’ve never felt the urge to be in a group to connect with truth.

    If the vegetarianism comes to me, I will accept it fully, as with any other changes in my future. I used to think, ‘What good is it to have one more person FOR this cause? The animals will continue to be slaughtered with or without me.’ Now I see that thinking is flawed. It’s about ME and my choice on how I want to live my life.

    I pray to continue in a learning adventure filled with peace and a centered self.

  10. Yes, this journey (or pathless path) is in essence all about staying true to what’s true in our hearts and surrendering to the process wholeheartedly, wherever it leads us ♥

  11. but i am only 18 and has feel lost since i was really young is like i am really different my peers. the way i think,mind set, personality,interest are all so different. while there might be people that have the same interest as me out there, i just don’t seem to be able to know them and be friends

  12. I can relate to that Elise, I too have always been a ‘different thinker’, but that doesn’t mean we are lost.

    In what way do you feel lost? Maybe I can guide you to see things from a different perspective if you share more details with me about any specific challenges you’re having right now.

    Even as a child I remember thinking that adults are weird in their thinking and I oftentimes couldn’t relate to their ways of rationalizing and so on, and I was also a child that was a bit rebellious and I wasn’t afraid of ‘talking back’ and challenging their viewpoints so that has been a huge help for me.

    Be courageously yourself Elise, and things will work out just fine for you.

    It may be more challenging at times because it’s ‘easier’ to just go with what everyone else thinks, but I wouldn’t call that living, that’s just existing, but there’s really no other way than go with what is right for you.

    There might be opposition from others that feel threatened by your way or being because you are not (in their mind) ‘like everybody else’, but in the end, you’re the one who is free to be who you really are.

    I think that if we think we are lost it’s easier to maybe fall into other peoples way of thinking and then become one in the herd so to speak – you don’t seem to be happy being a cattle and for that I’m glad for you.

    Keep reaching out as you do and new friends will find you and you them.

    Yes, we’re different. We have different interests, we have a different mindset and so on, but maybe we’re not the ones that are lost, have you thought about that?

    I’m not saying anybody is lost – I’m just pointing to a different way of seeing things.

    I can say that it’s not always easy to be a ‘different thinker’, far from it, as I’m not a person who shuts up and keeps quiet – I speak my mind but sometimes when I meet people that I feel are completely unconscious then I don’t go there because I know it won’t lead anywhere.

    You get that blank look in their faces, I’m sure you have seen that too, and when I see that I know they have no clue what I talk about and that they are not open to hear about it.

    You can see that in their eyes, when their faces become blank and/or you can sense anger sometimes even and what you say next will probably only offend their ego (even if it’s just a simple opinion that differs from theirs) or their beliefs are challenged to the point where it can escalate to a full-blown soap-opera drama.

    So then it’s probably not even worth it to go there, but you can feel intuitively where it’s going so trust that knowing.

    I know that with sensitive children and young adults as yourself (sensitive in the regard that we sense that there’s a different way of life than most people are aware of), your intuition is also more developed so you learn more and more to sense these things while at the same time your confidence will stay more intact than maybe your peers because it takes guts to stand up for something (your own point of views for example) versus going with what everyone else thinks and beliefs.

    As I mentioned earlier it’s easier to just follow the herd and be like everyone else, but what kind of life would that be?

    The most important thing is to stay true to who you are.

    Look at the option; to be more like others so that others will like you more is to suppress who you really are and that is not a very enjoyable way to live is it.

    You will get friends that you resonate with, and you will go further in life than the average person who stays in the box of conventional thinking and behaving.

    People who dare to think for themselves and that has their own individual way of being and seeing are also curious and hungry for knowledge and wisdom – I don’t know if you can relate to it at this point in your life, but usually folks like us also have a zest for life that many in today’s society lack.

    “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself” ~Rita Mae Brown

    Here’s an article that just came to mind that I think you might like:


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