When What We Love Falls Away Too (Spiritual Awakening)
It can be very weird sometimes in the process of spiritual awakening to find oneself rapidly changing and shedding the old because sometimes the ‘old’ is not only the ‘bad stuff’ (or what we usually consider to be of the “ego”).
On the contrary, we must be open to the fact that even the good stuff can fade away and that we can actually completely lose interest in what we used to think was fun and what we really enjoyed doing (sometimes passionately) and that can be disheartening, one can even feel grief over that.
- When some of our much loved interests suddenly starts losing their importance. We just don’t care anymore and that can be a bit weird to start to notice as interests fall away one by one.
- When even the interest in spirituality fall away, including all ideas we have had of God or what we once thought was true, and there can even be an experience of grief in the process where the concept of God fades away.
- When ambition falls away to the point that you don’t seem to care anymore about promoting yourself and doing some of the things that having a business requires.
Suddenly ‘purpose’ gets a new meaning, it’s no longer about having a purpose that is kind of set, or ‘static’, actually the new way of experiencing purpose is an ongoing unfolding process that can change from one moment to another.
Therefor having a label of some kind (calling oneself this or that) only gets in the way of the unfolding and it becomes natural to become a “nobody” but also that will feel weird in the beginning when things starts to fall away as the ego still would like to be a ‘somebody’ but can’t anymore.
We realize that life is not to be planned but to be moved from as we go – it’s about moving with Life, from it, and no longer from a perspective of a self that has a life.
This process needs time to adjust and balance itself out, but while in it it can be a bit disorienting because the little self wants to know the next step and Life may not have a next step to give right now.
Sometimes we need to marinade and process this and usually Life will pull us away from the world so that we can do that without distraction. (This does not feel very convenient for the ego).
We will move from complete Oneness and being blissed out, to complete emptiness and a desert-like nothingness where we don’t even have God, and then embrace the duality within that Oneness – that’s when a transformation or a shift can happen in a more deeper way than the initial experience or opening, provided that we are willing to not cling to the experience in an attempt to keep it or ‘get it back’.
It’s definitely not an easy process for everyone to go through (it depends on how trusting you are and how willing you are to let go and surrender) and it can take time and we have no control over it other than the more we surrender to it, the easier it gets.
Something new is brewing, we can feel it, but we can’t see what it is yet.
We can have a notion, a deep “no, .. really..? Can it be that..?” with an profound inner joy attached to it (a big inner OMG:) and we can even get goosebumps from the recognition of something that has always been with us and is now coming alive.
We can feel Spirit pulling us away from the world, away from pretty much everything including the things we loved to do, while the little self is craving for attention too at the same time.
But we can’t go with it, it feels so empty and shallow and there’s no energy behind the urges so it doesn’t have any power.
But of course we can feel the need to act (to ‘do’ something, while at the same time knowing that we should stay put and focus on the stillness within) because we all have our responsibilities in life and when this process interferes with life (from the little self’s perspective) or prevents us from being present in our everyday life (in the work place for example), then it can become a bit challenging to say the least.
This process has sometimes made someone decide that they need to leave their families and jobs to go find themselves in India. Things like that. Its’ not unusual at all as we start to really see clearly and experience life from a completely different perspective.
I know that pull, I know how it feels to be willing to relinquish everything for Truth.
How could you turn your back on God once you have experienced the Truth? You simply can’t, it’s not possible.
I understand the pull of the Spirit, and I honor it, I respect it and I have deep reverence for it.
And I also know how it feels to experience the things I used to love fall away too.
It’s challenging to go through, even though one can feel something new welling up in the background of all that.
But we have to let go so that the new can unfold freely.
Truth is, this is a process of being born again.
Sometimes what we let go of will come back and sometimes it won’t, but in the end it’s all about our willingness to let go that matters, what is ours to keep so to speak will come back once we have had the courage to let it go for real.
If we are meant to have it we will keep it or get it back by Grace. (Interests, passions, specific ‘sources’ of joy etc).
One thing is for sure; there is nothing to fear as this process will only ultimately remove what is no longer needed, and that can include what we consider to be positive and good too.
Then we can come from a fresh place and all our doings can come from a deeper place within as our hearts already know what we are here to give and express to the world. There is no need for personal will at this stage of our spiritual evolution.
“Could it be..?” Yes, it could be that thing you have always known in the back of your mind and deep within your heart but haven’t explored or done anything with yet.
Would you be willing to let go of everything, good and bad, in order for that to come forth?
Notice I said “willing”. That is enough but it has to be sincere and once you feel the pull coming from Spirit stronger and stronger, you will come to a place in your own spiritual development when you can say a truthful and honest YES to that, and only that.
You cannot resist it for long.
That’s how strong it is.
How do you know what it is? You will know by the tears of joy and the tremendous feeling of relief and liberation – and by the fear of letting go into that which you have no control over. (The unknown, where our true life is).
It requires that you fully trust that whatever is left when all this is over will be pure Love and your gift to the world which is your unique expression of the Spirit that dwells in each and every one of us.
Your heart knows the way and the means for that to be expressed fully through you; your job is to let it lead.
Follow your heart, it will not lead you astray.
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