A Spiritual Awakening Experience Is Not An Arrival; Life Will Still Go On (Part 2/3)
“… It’s not that grace takes over after you surrender to Life; it was grace that got you to surrender to begin with, you just didn’t know it.
It was grace that brought you to your knees, begging God to take over.
Everything in your life has been beautifully orchestrated by Truth itself; all for this moment, for you.
And none of it was your doing…”
Part 1 of this article can be found here
To become aware of the impulses of life is preparation enough and then respond to it, that’s how Truth draws you to it, not by your attempts to reach out for it, out there.
We’re all on a spiritual path, even if not all are consciously aware of it, no path or experience is less than an other, only different. But still; equally “spiritual”.
Just check with yourself in all curiosity how you define the term.
Do you think it’s not spiritual to like material things perhaps? Just look and then question your answers to see how valid the belief actually is, if it’s really true, if there’s any reality to the concepts you hold about how a spiritual life looks.
Just watch your mind and see how it operates.
Sometimes people who have had a spiritual experience, they suddenly begin to act “spiritual”, they smile differently, they make themselves look more angelic and pure and you can see right through them in their game of pretending to be holy, but it’s kind of innocent too.
They have this image of a spiritual person being in a certain way and now that they have had this spiritual awakening experience they wish to play the part, and they stop looking deeper, beyond the experience, thinking they have arrived.
Uncomfortable feelings that comes up are considered unspiritual and pushed away.
Hangups are still there, but pushed away or hidden, and then they become filled with guilt thinking they should be more pure by now, and self-judgment comes up in different ways and can show up as anger and that too will be pushed down.
“It’s not spiritual to be angry“, the ego says.
There’s still ego to be burned up, and it has to be allowed to happen.
The purification you think you need will be done by Life itself; the burning up of the ego, that’s pure grace and cannot be done or implemented by you. It’s not as if you need to purify yourself and then life rewards you by giving you enlightenment.
I believe vigilance is needed yes, but that has to do with devotion to stillness, from where all thing come in the first place.
No need to torture the body (by obsessively “cleansing it”) and mind in order to become pure enough or whatever.
Life doesn’t get stagnant after a realization and only include three feelings that all has to do with feeling good; happiness, bliss and inner peace. There’s still the human there, with all it’s experiences and expressions.
And sometimes that expression is sadness, even though peace will always be present, it’s at the core of your being and can’t be disturbed. But sadness, anger, as well as happiness will all be there too. It’s not as if you’re in a constant altered state of “higher consciousness” in a spiritual lala-land where all is blissfully perfect and lovely.
The evolutionary process will still go on, the human-ness will still play out its role and its functions, hangups are still going to be there, but you don’t indulge in them but instead find them amusing in a loving way.
More and more you find that thoughts can’t be followed, even if you try the mind gets more and more quiet, and then – suddenly – the stillness turns into a rampant mind again, just when you thought you ‘had got it’. Grace will come in and show you that you don’t know anything, and this will go on for a while and the contrast will be stark.
It’s Life! The beauty of life that includes everything.
Only the spiritualized ego wants to exclude that which doesn’t “feel good”.
Oneness includes everything – that what Oneness means. All is One; including the things you don’t personally like or agree with, and you come to know this, and the realization will free you.
It’s not about neglecting life (thinking “oh well, I can’t do anything anyway, it’s meant to be what it is”), you rather surrender to it and let it live you, you don’t control how the spiritual awakening is going to happen, and you don’t know how Life will move through and as you – it’s not for you to decide.
The experience of life is totally different after a spiritual awakening experience, the perspective is completely different, but there’s still the Life to be lived, and it includes all, not only the nice stuff that the ego think is spiritually noble, such as endless kindness and pure, divine love.
You come to realize that the burning of the ego is necessary, so you allow it to happen, without the fight this time.
There will be refinement taking place, there’s a settling into the realization that takes place and it’s allowed. You know that there’s more, that you’re not ‘done’.
You don’t relinquish your human-hood because you have had a spiritual awakening; there’s still the body to honor and take care of even if the identification to it isn’t there, there’s still the need for privacy, and a sense of time (although very different than before); and you will still celebrate your birthdays.
You will still have your own unique temperament, you have your human experiences of falling in love, falling out of (human) love, .. there will still be grief and sadness as well as happiness, beauty and contentment, and there will also be less and less fear and worry.
You still like one person, and some other person you don’t like. It’s not a big deal, it’s life. And very different from how it was perceived before.
It’s when you are identified with being the person that you start making up a story around it and it’s usually about you being wronged somehow, or victimized. “I hate the rain, and it always happens on my day off!” is a story around the “I” while all the while the rain itself is totally neutral. There’s rain. End of story. That’s the truth of it. The story around it is completely and only in the mind.
That’s the argument with life; the ego making this moment wrong somehow, whatever it may be about it always finds something wrong with it.
In the process of awakening you come to realize that Life is right now, it’s in the present moment, eternally here and now, and there’s nothing wrong with it. It may not be right either; it is simply allowed to be.
When refinement is allowed, and a deepening and maturing of the realization is allowed, that’s when life starts to feel impersonal, you sense that things are happening rather than you doing them, like for example that you are not walking but walking is happening.
You let things, people and situations be, and you see that all of it serves the awakening of the whole, as in human consciousness, and that they are not there er to piss you off or aggravate you.
You come to see clearly what Jesus meant by “.. Forgive them for they do not know what they do..”, you see how humanity at large still move and act from the conditioned self – from unconsciousness, and by knowing that your compassion for humanity grows.
You know that things should not be different because they aren’t. If there were meant to be different, they would be.
They are there to deepen the (“your”) awakening, to refine it, and every step is a new fresh discovery…
(Click on image to see larger)
Part 3 (the last part of this long article) can be found here:
And if you didn’t read part 1, you’ll find it here:
“… The fear of loosing the realization/opening/experience, the fear of regressing back to the “old” while knowing it’s an illusion is a common fear that can come up.
It doesn’t matter what the spiritual experience was (what you call it), if it was a small ‘aha’ where one suddenly realizes something profound that changes their whole perspective of life, or if it’s a huge explosive experience; the question will undoubtedly dawn on everyone eventually, because what these experiences also bring, is the sense of not knowing or seeing where to go from here, and also feeling the impossibility of going back to life at is once was.
“What am I suppose to do now?” is a normal reaction from the mind.
Sometimes if the realization is profound it can be experienced like waking up from a dream, realize how life really is, and then being afraid of being forced to go back to the dream as if it was real, which we now know isn’t. This fear can be dreadful…”: