3 Things To Surrender That Will Give You Peace

In life and on our spiritual journey, there are mainly three things that prevents us from seeing Truth and the reality of how things really are versus the fantasies and imaginations of the mind.

Whenever we feel stuck or stagnated on our path, the easiest way to get unstuck is to look at where we are holding on too tight.

Ultimately, this path is all about letting go and surrendering to the truth within, and every time there’s a clinging going on, or attempts to control outcomes and so forth, rest assured that that’s when we are holding on too tight and we need to let go.

Usually the grasping and holding on too tightly has to do with these three things:

Our desires, our opinions and our fears.

So to loosen the grip and come to a place of relaxation we can look at those things, and see how we hold ourselves imprisoned and how we can open up so that we can see and realize the truth of the present moment and the movement forward.

Life is always moving and molding itself, always unfolding, but when we are stubbornly holding on to our desires, opinions and fears we tend to feel stuck.

It’s like there’s a river that flows and we’re stubbornly banging our heads against a rock, trying all we can to go our own way, while the river (of life) is flowing in it’s own natural way and all we have to do is basically to stop banging our head against the rock, or trying to climb over it and so forth and just let go and go with the stream and flow, and let it take us where we need to be. 

So lets have a look.


How are you forcing your desires on life?

“I want that and not this!”, always pushing away something or trying to escape something, always making the present moment wrong in some way, or thinking that something/someone (that you don’t have) will make you happy.

How are you trying to manipulate life to ‘get what you want’?

Trying to control your mind, emotions and experiences instead of letting your mind be and not make it into an enemy that needs to be “controlled” is what is called for.

Thinking happens just as feelings happen and it’s only when we identify with them or take them for being The Truth that we suffer.

Don’t be afraid of your own mind and feelings. See them as happenings in consciousness, look at them without getting caught up in them. (That doesn’t require any control, only acceptance and letting go). 

And trying to fake happiness/gratitude/”love and light”-ness thinking that it will help you ‘attract’ what you think you need and want only leads to more delusion and self-deception. 


How are you thinking and judging your situation to be wrong?

How about looking at it without any opinions at all, to see how that feels for once. Being completely neutral.

Notice how the ego really wants to have something to say about everything 🙂 

How are you indulging and wallowing in self pity?

“Why me?”, “What am I doing wrong?”, “Why can’t I ever..?”

Sometimes it can be helpful to make the sulking and feelings of being victimised by life even more exaggerated.

Feel even worse, really indulge in self-pity for a few moments and make it really big and even throw in a spiritual temper tantrum and behave like a five year old.

I swear you will see how ridiculous the ego can behave at times and you will burst out laughing if you have any sense of humour! 🙂

“Oh, poor little me, I never get what I want.. buhuu..!” 


How are you scaring yourself with your thoughts?

Every time you feel fear, stop and notice what thoughts you are believing in.

Thoughts arise in consciousness and then you (or the ego) makes them real and fear presents itself. 

Then get back to this moment and realize that there’s nothing to fear; we all know way too little to be able to worry.

No one knows what’s around the corner, it may be something great, or there might be a challenge, but either way it’s not happening right now so there’s no need to try to control any outcomes.

We simply know nothing about the even the next moment, so relax.

How are you not here, but in an imagined fearful future? (Or regretful past).

As you can see, all this drama is happening in our minds, and it’s always about not being present in the here and now.

It’s always about thinking we know what is best and how to get what we think we need, some day out there in an imagined future. 

The ego so desperately wants to think it can control outcomes or how things will unfold (or correct what has been), so it creates different scenarios and dialogues to the drama that only ever goes on in our heads:

“.. and then when he says that, I will tell him that.. and if she then says that I am.. I will do this and that.. and then..”.

Reality check: How many of those imagined scenarios have ever come to happen in reality? Seriously, think back and see if you can find one single imagined scenario that turned out to happen the way you thought it would. 

Usually things work out by themselves, or they happen and unfold in a totally different way than our minds can ever figure out beforehand.

By now you should be able to giggle to the silly attempts of the ego to try to control life and how it creates so much unnecessary drama 🙂

The ‘solution’ to any dilemmas, fears about the future, decisions making that feels challenging and so on, is to sit down, take a deep breath and say something like this to yourself, even out loud as it seem to be more helpful to actually speak out loud from the heart:

“I admit. I might be wrong. I don’t really know anything about this.

All I have is opinions and those are not true, they are simply opinions that comes from my fears and imaginations.

I have no clue what’s going on in reality. I admit that.

I have no clue. Maybe the things I think I need is not what I need at all. I can’t know.

I may think I know, but I now admit that I might be wrong. I let go of all my opinions about this.

I realize that the fears I have about this is all in my mind and not really happening right now, so they are imaginations.

I am willing to let go of what I think I want and need.

Instead I will sit here and listen to what life wants from me.

I am open to all this now”.

And then you simply sit there and you listen but without straining to listen. It’s more like an attentive meditation where you have dropped all your concerns into consciousness and left them there and now you just sit with it all, but without trying to figure anything out.

You make yourself open and receptive yet not expecting any specific answers right away.

They will come when they are suppose to come, and by being still and available for that Truth to be shown, it will show itself, usually very soon.

I must say that there is nothing more powerful than to surrender everything you’ve got, all your struggles and fears and then you just get really quiet and you listen. 

So many people are more caught up in trying to figure things out, trying to control, trying to make things happen the way they think it’s the best, when the most profound and easy way is to let it all out (verbally to yourself), and then drop everything into your heart and leave it there.

From doing that, the Truth of who you are will emerge and show ‘you’ (you are Life) what to do, it will inspire you to some kind of action, or nudge you in a direction where you will meet or receive what you need next on your journey. (A person, a book, a ‘sign’, an opportunity, an idea etc).

So take a moment and look at where you might be holding on too tight and how you can let go, and then from doing that peace can enter and that will lead to whatever answers you need to know.

Let go of your desires, opinions and fears and see what happens.


Other articles you might like: 

“.. Surrender to life, let it take you, give yourself to it, because it will not let you go, and you can either kick and scream your way through it, or you can remain open and willing in this moment and be attentive to where it pulls you..”: mariaerving.com/the-beauty-and-the-peace-let-grace-transform-you

“.. Ten of the most common hindrances to awakening to who we really are..”: mariaerving.com/ten-ways-keeps-us-realizing-true-nature

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