Struggling With Fear of Losing My Looks
“I live in fear of losing my looks!”
Lately I’ve been struggling to cope with the fact that I am ageing physically and I live in fear of losing my looks.
Do you have any advice to those of us who are struggling with these fears?
I’ll be 50 years old next year, which is so weird to think about! so I know what it’s like to experience and see all the different changes that happens as you grow older.
And even though I have more wrinkles and lines now and my body-shape is changing etc, I still feel okay with the way I look (but I’ve also never really had any body issues or things like that).
I’ve also noticed that I feel more comfortable, more free in my body, but I think it’s more of a mindset-thing than anything else, and part of the ageing process as well.
And also, there’s so many other things to value when we grow older that are more important than how our bodies and faces looks!
Confidence for example, it has always been what’s most attractive to me when it comes to other people.
In a way I think that’s universal,
I think we’re all more attracted to personality and confidence rather than looks, but with ourselves we think that what other people look for is someone good-looking – when it might not be true at all!
Ageing also brings so much more that is more worth focusing on and appreciating, such as;
- We become more intuitive and a better judge of people’s character, which is an advantage in life.
- We care less about what other people think of us as we come into a more mature version of ourselves.
- We’re much wiser and comfortable in our own skin and with the personal life choices we make.
- We have lived life so we have many stories to share and reflect on, and this makes us a lot more relaxed.
- Our values and priorities become more clear as we get more in tune with ourselves and grow older.
- We understand that our value does not come from the way we look, which I think so many young women are struggling with, especially in the age of social media where everybody is using filters to look even more pretty and beautiful.
As long as we let an external source dictate our sense of self-worth, we end up giving our power away, so in that way many young women let other people (and media) control how they feel about themselves.
Whereas when we have a more empowering self-image and identity, we automatically also care less about other people’s opinions and what they think of us.
Working on cultivating self-love and not comparing yourself to others (if you do that) and focusing on all the wonderful things you have rather than on what you lack or are afraid to lose will help you grow into a greater acceptance of yourself and the way you age.
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We’re also role models for the younger generation, even if we don’t know or think we are.
How do you speak about beauty for example, with your niece or granddaughter or other young people in your life?
It’s so important to think about how we speak about those things (and how we speak about ourselves) in front of them and that we empower young girls (and boys for that matter), to appreciate the more deeper aspects of who we are beyond the exterior.
They are literally bombarded everyday by media and the fashion/cosmetic industry who tells them (us) that you can’t be happy with what you see in the mirror unless you buy their products etc.
And I’m not saying don’t use any of those things, I’m not against it, I’m not even against plastic surgery and cosmetic treatments, I’m always of the opinion that people should do whatever feels most right to them.
But do it for yourself only, not for anybody else, and I think that’s the difference between a mature woman and a young woman who is insecure about her looks.
That’s another benefit of growing older, you have a much higher sense of self-worth that you just didn’t have when you were younger.
Not to mention the ability to laugh at yourself!
As we grow older we have a much more relaxed attitude around many things in life that maybe used to bother us when we were younger, or create anxiety for us and so on.
We get more settled into ourselves, more content, so getting older can be a relief in many ways.
Besides from the gray hairs, lines and wrinkles and so on, we also go through the menopause years, which brings with it its own challenges as our hormones are completely out of whack.
But we have to embrace it, embrace ageing, embrace the hormonal changes that happens and how our bodies are changing in the process, because it’s just the way life goes.
You still have your personality and individuality (which is more beautiful than looks), and I think it’s way more desirable to be loved and liked for that than the way we look, don’t you agree?
We are so much more than our appearance.
Like for example our minds and our brain is far more important, don’t you agree?
And the thing is, that when we have our minds right, then we also feel and become more attractive!
With ageing we reach that peace with ourselves, and it becomes more important to have people in your life that actually loves you for who you are.
So focus on the positive side of ageing as it’s inevitable that we age, so we are far better off just embracing it!
Shift your mindset and look at all the positive aspects of the woman you’ve become and the experience and wisdom you have gained, it’s so valuable!
Be grateful for having your health, and maybe you have a family and meaningful work that brings you joy and fulfillment, a wonderful husband/wife/partner, grandkids, and so on,
There’s so much to be grateful for and so much more life to be lived in this stage of our life!
Being happy and feeling gratitude for the stage in your life where you’re at is so important!
It’s incredible that we’re here, and we only have this One Life, so live it well.
Ok, so yes, we gain weight and our face and neck are beginning to sag and our eyelids might be more droopy, but none of that matters in the big scheme of things.
Besides, I would personally never get involved with a man who valued my looks more than me as a person, and I think most of us would agree with that, we all want that deep down,
so it’s just a matter of growing in self-confidence to get to that place within yourself and then from there on, you’ll be moving through life with a new sense of grace and aliveness.
We don’t have time to think about or pay attention to things that don’t really matter, and that is true especially when we grow older.
I actually enjoy growing older, while at the same time you also start to feel the realization of your own mortality as the clock is ticking.
You have things to do, a life to live, and you want to do all the things you want to do before it’s too late, so when you have that mindset, then all the other, more trivial stuff like looks, they just don’t matter that much anymore.
Not that you stop caring about how you look, of course not, but you’ll take care of yourself in a different way than what you might have done when you were younger.
It’s more focused on self-care and inner well-being and alignment and we become more focused on what makes us happy and fulfilled rather than trying to please others and be accepted by them.
And we tend to feel most attractive when we feel good about ourselves too, so that should be every woman’s (and mans!) first priority; to feel good about ourselves and to lead a life that we can be proud of.
I feel freer than I have ever felt before and I’m excited to be at this stage in life,
But I also understand the process you go through as so many things are changing (like the way we look), but it’s also just a new season in our life, and it can be enjoyed to the fullest when it’s embraced.
We just become beautiful in a different way, that’s all! 😊
Affirmation for you: “I am 100% comfortable being the wise, beautiful, fun, and sexy woman that I am!”
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(Original) image by Ekaterina Shakharova on Unsplash.com