There is no personal God

Spiritual awakening will, as I have written numerous of times before, remove every belief and concept we have, and it will eventually with spiritual maturity also lead to awakening from the concept of God.

(I have never been religious, but we all have some kind of beliefs about God).

I went through this transition a couple of years ago or so when I broke up with God so to speak and God also ‘disappeared’ completely with the spiritual awakening experience I had and I stopped praying etc because it felt ridiculous (or silly) to be talking to myself. (When I realized that I am Life and there is no God).

It was both a huge liberation to discover that I am everything and nothing at the same time but also disturbing (for the ego) to comprehend that there was no God.

Then things went back a bit on the God-thing, and even though it was in a completely different way than before, I started to pray again and talk with God, knowing that I was basically talking with myself, but it was nice to have the communication going on once again with God and it felt okay so I fell back into that.

Now I have once again gone through some very intense experiences and have realized once again that there is no God, that it doesn’t exist and never has.

What a relief!

“God” is a weight we carry around through life without even knowing it until the realization of it only being a belief (thought) is deep enough.

We go back and forth with strongly held beliefs for a while even if we know that beliefs are not true (none of them), it’s all a part of the transitional process. (From one level of consciousness to another). 

So you will probably never again find me quoting from the Bible or the Gita or any other scriptures! 🙂 nor will I continue using the word “God”, it just doesn’t feel relevant anymore.

My whole perspective on life and myself has once again completely changed, it’s amazing to me how this life does its thing. 

It was almost an overnight transformation to let go of concepts of a personal God; one day he’s there and the next he’s not, almost like the belief most of us have had regarding Santa Claus.

Up until one day we believe in Santa and then the next day we don’t.

This time around there’s no grief involved in the process (of losing God and not have him to talk with anymore like I used to. When I went through this a few years ago there was sadness involved, but not this time), only great liberation, joy, freedom, and an even deeper sense of peace than before.

Just like every other concept and spiritual idea I once believed in has fallen away with the awakening process now also God has fallen away and it feels great.

There is no God, there is no ‘will of God’ and there’s no one that hears our prayers because we are talking to ourselves.

This might sound negative and gloomy but it really isn’t. 

Life is about realizations and discovery and exploration, deeper and deeper into that which is beyond any beliefs we hold, and it’s amazing!

It can be startling and unpleasant at times, absolutely, but the key is really to question everything, to always stay true, to not tiptoe around our beliefs (and not trying to change them for better ones, that’s just pure nonsense!) but instead challenge them, question them, do some serious inquiry into truth.

To live authentically and honestly with ourselves! – Life is an adventure and we can never know where it takes us other than the deeper we go spiritually the more awe and wonder there is.

When we dare to face our doubts, fears and disbeliefs, and when we allow ourselves to have our spiritual temper tantrums and rantings and to be totally open to the explorational journey of life (by introspection), that’s when we open up for revelations and discoveries of who we really are.

With that comes a whole new appreciation for life.

The journey can at times be uncomfortable but the more courageous we are the more we see that it all ultimately leads to liberation and freedom.

I have never been a person that would delude myself into thinking I have “arrived” or come to some kind of conclusion about life – I will never lie to myself, and I think that my radical honesty with myself and my own processes is what has lead me to this, because I’m not willing to fool myself in any way.

There is a mystery to life yes, an ‘order’ to things, and all things are intertwined and the source is not possible to trace, but life is also always here and now and how we chose to respond to it is also always right now and this becomes very clear with maturity.

Radical honesty with ourselves will lead to the collapse of all beliefs and concepts we hold.

Don’t get stuck in any concepts at all; question everything you take to be true and real and realize that none of it is ultimately true; and also it’s not healthy to push away any doubts, but instead look at them fearlessly and be determined to see the truth.

The current of Truth is not going to let go of anyone who’s sincerely interested in knowing it.

Life always meets us (itself) on the level of consciousness we’re currently on, that’s why I have met angels and have had an encounter with Jesus and so on.

‘Something’ saved me when I was 15 years old, and to me at that time it manifested itself as an angel which is one of millions of ways life could have manifested itself. It just fitted my level of consciousness at that time in my life.

There has been miraculous healings too but now I don’t give the credit to a God, it’s like humans do that by default, and to me that’s kind of ignorant. (I see it as Life simply doing its thing, not a God doing anything).

We take the notion of God for granted, and yes, I agree, there are many unexplainable things in life, but the thing is that we just automatically assume they are by something we call “God”.

Have you ever looked more deeply into that belief?

And I have had direct personal experiences of knowing God and have felt his presence so on, but now it seems like a distant memory of a dream almost.

And there’s no drama about it at all.

Peace is absolutely present without any God, even more so now, my beliefs (in the existence of a God) has simply collapsed and I have realized there is not a personal God that intervenes with life or humans.

Sometimes life moves in a way that makes it seem that way (that a divine being has its finger in it), but sometimes also it doesn’t.

It’s just how life moves.

I have taken God out of the picture, and still life seems to move that way, with or without “him”.

When in the midst of living the beliefs out that there is a God that hears you, takes care of you, comforts you and protected you and has a plan for your life etc, of course we can’t see beyond that which we believe.

God did not create us – we created God.

And there is nothing wrong with any of that at all.

Life is a stream of endless transitions and processes and the unfolding of existence is very surprising and in no way can any of it be predicted.

I love that we can discover more and more and as long as we stay curious and open and if we question everything all the time, then Life will reveal itself to us more and more deeply and fully, and that’s the beauty of it – and it also makes life so precious.

Always, always stay true and courageously curious – it is what undoubtedly leads to transformation of mind.

Here are some of my old articles from when I let go of God the first time:

And here’s a couple of other (old too) articles that has to do with letting go of beliefs:


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  1. Bruna

    Dear Maria

    Very well said. I too struggle with using the word God as over the years I have never really had a clear picture of what God is and now I don’t even think that God exists. I now think that it is just life being life.and that amazing things do happen, but it is just how things turn out. I have been looking for answers most of my life and now in my 40’s I am realising there are no answers. I agree with what you say about seeing/feeling angels, Jesus, etc., based on what your consciousness is at the time. Because our brains are so amazing I wonder if stories of near death experiences, angels, etc., are conjured up by our brains by what we believe in. I was brought up strict Catholic and only use to pray to God and I questioned a lot of the stories (e.g. Jesus dying and coming back to life) that catholics blindly believe which just didn’t make sense to my realistic mind. I have never been religious and have always swayed to the spiritual side of life as I am very connected to nature and totally connect with indigenous people of the world and their connection to the natural world. Now I only believe in love and enjoying as much of life as I possibly can which I find a challenge in the world we live. My goal in life is to not waste my life and have a good time. When I leave this world I want to think about all the good times. We take nothing with us except the love we have shared and good times. Blessings to you from all that life has to offer. Bruna 🙂

  2. It’s not that I have struggled with using the word “God”, because I actually liked using it (just look at many of my articles:) and I haven’t replaced it to something else now, like ‘love’ or something like that.

    There’s just nothing there anymore; I really mean that literally that no beliefs are true, none of them, and the word ‘God’ to me now has just not the same vibe anymore so it doesn’t feel relevant to use it.

    I recall you wrote a while ago “I had been giving up on God (whatever that is I don’t know) and felt sad about it” and that’s totally natural because we are basically letting go of a confidant (among other things, it’s not only great things about God), a friend, someone who we think hears our prayers etc so of course there can be grief. (Only this time for me there’s none of those experiences or emotions, only freedom and happiness).

    But it’s important not to start creating a “new god” again, calling it nature or love or whatever, because then once again you have a concept that you “believe in”, so that too becomes a crutch.

    And life is obviously not only about love; the totality includes everything. Even nature can be cruel, just like humans and other species.

    But we humans have the choice of choosing to have our morals and ethics in place and not harm others and the world intentionally, but that’s not a belief I carry around as something to ‘live up to’, it’s just natural, so there’s no struggle or striving involved to be something like loving, caring etc, as I can be many other things too, like angry or sad etc which is just as fine being as it is being kind and compassionate.

    To be true to who we are is most important, and to be honest with ourselves.

    I think it’s great that you faced your doubts when you were younger and questioned the reality of the Bible etc, it’s what ultimately leads to liberation. (The deep questioning and inquiring into truth regardless of what we believe or take as being true).

    Even if the Scandinavian countries are “Christian”, not many are religious over here, so most people are not brought up in religious homes (not even Christian homes), we’re very liberal over here (but of course there are fundamentalists here too), so I have never had any struggles with those things myself.

    But I know many people in for example UK and Ireland goes through difficult times when doubting the catholic church etc. (Not that I know much about it though).

    I mean, to me it’s so strange that some people (many people!) take the Bible literally when already in the second chapter of the old testament there’s the first error or contradiction. (Just one of many examples, but it leads me to wonder if people actually have read the Bible in the first place).

    I’m curious, how did your family react when you weren’t going to believe as they did? Or when you expressed your doubts?

    I have heard some stories about the process involved in telling your parents or siblings where there were a lot of anger and disappointment involved when someone announces that they don’t believe like the rest of the flock so to speak.

    What was your experience? (If you feel like sharing).

  3. Bruna

    Hi Maria

    When I say that I believe in love and love nature I am not creating a new god. It is just my way of trying to savour and focus on all the good things in life versus the negatives. I also try to live my life from a place of love and sometimes I fall short because I am only human. The thing I struggle with the most is the realisation that there is no god and a lot of the beliefs I had regarding the mysterious/spiritual are most likely non-existent which makes me feel like that the only things that matter in this life for me is love, nature, enjoying life in my own way and not putting material things before people. If this is a crutch, well it is what gets me through life and gives my life meaning and has nothing at all to do with god or religion.

    My mother who is unquestionably catholic did not like me questioning the religious beliefs at all. I made judgements from as early as 8 years old. Telling your sins to a priest as young as 8 yrs old and making up sins so you have something to tell the priest did not make any sense to me. I also thought that it was between me and God. That was the first and then it grew from there. I was made to go church every sunday when I lived at home and after I left home I went to church out of guilt and stopped soon after as the more I searched the less I believed. I haven’t attended any church ceremony except for the odd funeral in the last 14 years, nor have I wanted to take up another religion as I found all organised religion did not suit an independant thinker like me.. I have an 11 yr old son and I never had him baptised because I did not believe and my mother’s only retort was to call me a communist which did not make any sense to me and I thought was quite funny. I never discuss religion or beliefs with them. We have different views on almost everything and I grew up with having a very domineering mother who put money/material things before people, so the easiest thing for me is to keep my opinions to myself and to respect that she has her own set of beliefs. I have 2 brothers and I think 1 is a non-believer and the other believes because it is tradtion. Best wishes 🙂 Bruna

  4. I know what you mean (the comment your mom made) as I have some religious relatives too that has expressed their fear of me burning in hell forever and ever because I did healing work. (in the past).

    I thought it was kind of funny too, it’s difficult to take those things seriously but I guess they were sincerely concerned, but when I mentioned that even Jesus had said that “you can do greater works than me” or something like that (can’t remember the quote) they gasped in horror that I could even say something like that. (Guess they took it as blasphemy).

    Anyways, it’s not easy to have a real, open conversation with a fundamentalist is it.

    Religion that is supposedly having family values at first priority (after God of course:) is in actuality tearing families and nations apart.

    While for others, when having experiences of people putting money before humans for example (like you have experienced in your youth) is what creates awareness (provided they are open) that there can be another way to live, so that’s really great.

    So my point is that those experiences (however challenging perhaps they were) was what lead you to sharpen your own values and live from a different place than your parents.

    So we need both the love and the not-so-loving experiences in life as they shape us as humans so in essence – at this time in our evolution – that was what happened so that was the way it had to happen, and hopefully the new generations will get out of the grips of the ego (like your son who has the freedom to chose for himself what to believe) and I have a good feeling about that, we’re way more freer now than only a hundred years back in time, which is a huge improvement right there.

    I guess the challenge now can be (for you and other parents that are more aware) to educate/create awareness for your son to not take the nonsense they learn in school (about religion for example) literally but to learn instead to think for themselves while standing in the midst of peers that might not be that aware and open that he might be.

    I don’t know. It doesn’t have to be of course, but usually a free thinker is not very popular among the more mainstream-thinkers/believes now are they 🙂

    But then again, things are changing rapidly, and I think for the better, so we just have to continue sharing our thoughts, point of views and experiences openly and unapologetically.

  5. Bruna

    Thanks Maria for your caring reply. Fundamentalists are funny and it reminds me of a time when I was younger my mother believing the catholic belief that if a child is not baptised they don’t go to heaven, they are in limbo and I remember thinking how wrong that was of god and thinking at the time that the god I believe in does not discriminate. Then about 10 years ago the catholic church changed this belief that they now go to heaven, my mother informed me of this and I just couldn’t believe that she could not see how ridiculous it was for her to just change her belief because the catholic church said so. I still find that quite funny.

    Yes you can’t have a real open conversation with anyone who has fixed beliefs. I don’t even bother because I have learnt we are all on our own journey and i found my own way without anyone telling me.

    Yes religion, beliefs, tradition can and does tear families apart and I have experienced the dysfunctional chaos and heartache it causes and still causes if I allow it to. I do live my life so very differently to my parents and I still get a lot of disaproval and I don’t feel the love if there is any there, because it is conditional. People don’t change unless they want to. I came to the conclusion by about the age of 28 yrs that I was never going to ever be able to please my mother as I had tried to be the compliant daughter and it didn’t work and I was very unhappy. So I decided to live life on my terms and I am happy and I know that when I leave this world I will not have any regrets about living someone elses life. I want the same for my son and I know there will be things I will not agree with or things he won’t agree with as he is his own person, but I know I will love him unconditionally and let him make his own choices. I have brought him up to express himself and that he can come to me about anything as nothing is taboo with me. I have also taught him that people come before money/material things.

    Our life experiences good & Bad teach us all in our own way if we are open to that and it makes us appreciate all the good stuff.

    The world keeps changing and will keep on changing and it is interesting to look back on the changes in the world since my grandparents were around, since my parents time and also the fast and amazing changes that have happened in my short lifetime. We could possibly see great changes occuring with less people believiing in religion and caring more about the human race and enviroment on a world scale. It looks like it is going to take longer though for some of the middle east countries, but then again maybe all the stuff that is happening in the middle east is going to bring about some change to old ways of thinking. That is my hope and I hope I will be around to see these changes.

    Nice chatting with you and wishing you a good day. Bruna 🙂

  6. “.. changed this belief that they now go to heaven, my mother informed me of this”

    Wow. That’s all I can say.

    It sounds like you have been able to turn things around really great for yourself despite of the clash with religious beliefs with your parents, I’m glad to hear that.

    Yes, it was really great chatting with you too Bruna 🙂

    Have a great day ahead and chat soon again!

  7. Cassandra Sharpe

    Hi Maria,
    In being true to who I am I do believe in a personal deity. The reason people don’t relate to this deity (Jesus) is because He is spirit and not human. No one can relate to Him by the flesh (ego). He is not a religion but a way of life. After being filled with his spirit I learn why humanity is in such a mess. I was once without the true spirit and acted like everyone else. But we all come to a place where we begin to question our actions and others values and that’s when our seasoning should take a shift from humanity to reality then to spirituality but not religion. I am now never alone because He exist. I never have a problem He could not solve, and my praying is always by the spirit because He knows how I should pray in the matter and then gives me the interpretation. I am spirit having a human experience and when I keep this perspective I am saved. Their are millions like me and many choose to contain it with a religion back drop I chose to live it like life. Religion separates and life units us.

  8. You are of course free to believe in what you want – I don’t have that view at all though, and I’m certainly not in need of being “saved”.

    I’m the authority in my life and there’s no one to pray to because I am that which I pray to, so I’m only talking to myself and so therefor it has no longer any meaning or purpose to me. (But I don’t condemn anything, I used to enjoy prayer too).

    I’m free from these kinds of concepts of there being a God, and I take both the credit for the good I have done in my life (which doesn’t mean in a bravado/boasting way), and I also take responsible for my own life fully and I don’t rely on faith and prayer.

    “God” is not going to save the world (if that’s someone’s vision or wish), we are.

    We can destroy the earth, or we can take care of it and its inhabitants.

    But it’s in our hands and that’s very empowering and makes me feel very compassionate towards nature, animals and people, even more so now.

    And I can say that I feel an indescribable new kind of loving feeling-flow out towards my fellow human beings that feels very honoring and respectful in a way that I haven’t felt before.

    It’s like what I before felt for God I now instead feel for people – the direction of my affection has changed completely as there’s no longer a God that gets my full attention. (Or that I put first).

    It’s not that I ‘chose’ to not believe anymore, it was pure realization of the falseness of the belief and idea that there’s a deity that somehow dictates/directs our lives and has a plan for us.

    It was a part of the awakening process, because as I have said before; all concepts will eventually fall away and it’s not a conscious choice per se that we simply decide to not believe things anymore; it’s a realization of who we really are, and what we are not.

    I believe in the goodness of people, I believe that we can make this world (more) beautiful – and it’s not by the doing of some God.

    We give life meaning, the purpose of life is not dictated by the will of a God – it’s by what we value individually and our inherent human values are to love and take care of that which is important to us. To have moral and integrity is natural.

    We don’t need a God for any of that.

    Here’s an old article of mine that just came to mind:

    We don’t need a God to solve any problems, we are the solutions we look for and we should trust ourselves and our fellow human beings more, and give each other credit for the kindness and love and help we provide for each other and not automatically give it to a God.

    Like for example, instead of thanking God to have sent someone your way, why not thank the person directly for having come into your life? Leave God out of it, it was the relationship/meeting between you and the person that brought you something of value, not a God.

    Or instead of offering to pray for someone in need of help or support, why not get practical and actually do something concrete that helps that person, now?

    Why give it over to some God to handle when we are more than capable to be there for each other if we just stopped turning to prayer automatically, hoping that God will help the person in need. (Just to make some examples).

    Life becomes a much more intimate experience when we realize that there is no God. A much more – .. I don’t even know how to describe it other than it frees you from so much we don’t even know we carry around with us.

    Nature is both miraculous and it’s also a force that can destroy cities and so on, but they are not happening because of the goodness nor the wrath of a God, they are simply natural phenomenons that occur.

    There’s no God that has his finger in any of it.

    Bottom line: I’m free, I’m liberated, and I’m tremendously happy to have been freed from the belief in a God.

    Whatever makes someone else tick, that’s for them to enjoy and live with.

  9. Cassandra Sharpe

    Hi Maria,
    You are a very interesting person. I like your liberty but not your honesty. You said yourself we go through shifts in life and while these shifts can challenge our place of truth, it can also reveal to us pride. I wonder if what you thought how things should have turned out did not and that’s why you believe Jesus does not exist?

  10. I have never had the same perspective that you have; I have never held Jesus up high as some God, as I have never seen him that way.

    He was a guy who lived thousands of years ago, and so was Buddha and other awakened people from the past, and those are still among us today but their names are Linda, Carl and Graham.

    Just ordinary people doing great things for humanity, performing miracles and so on.

    That’s not “God” or “Jesus”, that’s just life doing its thing through these people.

    I have never doubted that Jesus existed, but I have also never thought of him like you seem to do.

    When I was 15 years old an Angel saved me, and I believed in Angels up until the awakening happened a few years ago, after that they simply disappeared, not because I chose to, but because they were no longer part of the level of consciousness I was on.

    Simple as that.

    When we realize there is no God, then that too just disappears, no drama needs to be involved.

    Of course there is a process involved that can be difficult and I have shared that in other articles so I won’t go into it here now.

    The point is; with awakening we come to realize that none of our beliefs are true, and that means the concepts we hold about God too, they too will crumble.

    Just like they did with our belief in Santa, or the Tooth Fairy.

    We don’t really make such a fuss about it when we realize they weren’t true either (the concept of God is just usually a more rigidly held on belief and also older as we have many times carried it around for decades), we just move on and continue growing and evolving and shedding more and more of the beliefs we have about life and what remains is more and more Truth – which is Freedom.

    Everything about life is One Consciousness manifesting itself in many shapes and forms, but it’s all One, and we are that. That’s who we are.

    That’s why it’s called Christ consciousness or Buddha nature; because that’s what we are, and that’s what we realize with awakening.

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