The Real You is already whole and free

“I’m tired of the endless purging and waiting” (Ask Maria)

“Will the endless spiritual purging ever end?”

Hello Maria,

I hope you’re doing well.

I will tell you my story from the beginning.

In the last months of 2019 I’ve received synchronicity about Chakras, it was everywhere even when I talk with random people they just mentioned it.

I started to meditate on them until my old traumas started to purge heavily and the ascension symptoms became very dominant and heavy I didn’t know what to do about it only to wait for them to pass but I feel like I’m waiting forever.

They have decreased a lot but my mind still continuing to purge very old memories during the full moons and I do feel stuck like it’s recreating itself again.

There’s no progress in my daily life just huge emptiness.

I do want to get a job and live my routine normally but I am afraid that those memories and symptoms will just show up during full moons and I started to be affected by the energies easily than ever which is something very uncomfortable, full moons used to be very blessing before I knew about “cleansing Chakras”.

Finally, it left me very resentful toward subjects like “healing”, “energy shifts”, “consciousness”, whatever the spiritual community discuss all the time as if these stuff going to fix your life while I see it became more complicated and foggy after the cleansing and healing work.

I want to move forward from this area that’s all about healing, purging during full moons, energy etc, without being actually affected by the energies out there to the core level, to actually live my life because each time I think about having a job or making a progress I have a huge panic attacks followed by purging another layer from my annoying childhood memories.

I would appreciate your thoughts on my situation Maria.”

My reply:

(And if you’d like me to write an article for you too, go HERE)

It sounds like you are stuck in an endless loop of “processing” and cleansing, which I see quite a lot especially when it comes to people in spiritual circles (or with people who are overly ‘spiritual’/imbalanced).

Many times they see cleansing and purging as something that is always going to be there, and when I tell them that the processing eventually stops (in that way) I can see in their eyes that they haven’t even thought about it ever ending.

So it’s common in those types of communities that people are constantly “working on themselves”, healing their “inner child” and so on, but you don’t have to keep doing that, you can shift your life to a different trajectory at any time.

You might like this article as well: “Living in the Flow of Life is not “spiritual”.

What “working on yourself” can mean.

‘Working on yourself’ in spiritual circles often means that there is something that needs to be “fixed” within you, but ‘working on yourself’ can also mean that you go in the other direction, where you bring forth more of the Light within you, where you grow and evolve and become more of who you are, and this is a different vibration altogether.

Can you feel the difference?

It takes you away from the heaviness into something more light and fun, and liberating and elevating.

I prefer using the words “inner work” though rather than “working on yourself”, as that sounds and feels heavy and like we’re some kind of hurdle to ‘overcome’.

But obviously, if you have childhood traumas that needs to be healed then of course do the healing work, but if you’re done with that part of your evolution and growth, then what is left is to simply enjoy your life.

That’s what happens after awakening, but you can make that choice and decision any time, and today is a good day for that, don’t you agree?

Here’s an article that can be helpful to you:

How do we distinguish between truly letting go and bypassing? I’m scared of ignoring my stuff or brushing it under the carpet!

Real inner work is always about releasing false ideas, beliefs and perceptions, so it’s not surface level stuff just to make the spiritualized ego feel momentary relief from its own anguish of having to meet itself.

So, you have two choices here;

Either you acknowledge to yourself that yes, “I have some childhood traumas that needs to be healed”, and then you do that with proper help, or you realize that you’re truly done and over with that part of your life (in a sincere way) and that you’re now ready to move on from it.

But if you have still unresolved issues, then it’s important to understand that the way through those issues is through, not over or around, so in that regard it’s important to not sit and wait for things to turn around, or pass.

So chose either path Today – it’s up to you how you want to live your life.

There might also be a belief in you that tells you that there is something to purge, but what if there isn’t?

What if you’re okay? What is there’s nothing wrong with you? What if you don’t have to be “fixed”?

I can assure you that at some point the endless seeking and purging and processing comes to an end, and it can come to an end for you Today.

Right Now is a new, fresh moment that you can use as a new starting point for your life and future.

You can have a new beginning, starting Now.

The thing is, you don’t have to continue on the same path after it has lost its momentum.

Your life can be a canvas that has been wiped clean and which you can paint a new picture on, a new story that speaks more to your heart and soul than what the endless purging did.

You are at all times 100% free to go for what you really want.

Maybe you just needed the insight and knowledge into the Chakras for a specific reason, and now that you’re done in that department (when the interest and passion is no longer there), now you are ready to move to the next level and chapter of your life.

Here’s another article that can be helpful you you:

Should I let go of the A Course in Miracles lessons? I find the lessons in ACIM grueling (Ask Maria)

Trust your own judgment.

If you feel that you’re done with the spiritual purging and cleansing, then allow yourself to move on from it and into a more enjoyable experience of life.

In Reality, you are pure consciousness (under the cluster of beliefs that keeps you stuck and stagnated);

You can take charge of your consciousness and have creative say in your experience of life, and you can choose to go in any direction you want, at any time.

There’s always a momentum going on in our lives, and whatever vibration that is most activated in you (through your thoughts and beliefs), that’s the way your life will go.

We always get the experience we focus on (read that again!), and you will always see what you’re in the process of manifesting through the synchronicity you experience in your life, which can be both ‘good’ and ‘bad’, or “negative”.

Here’s an article that can be helpful to you:

Negative Synchronicity: Why it happens and what to do about it

A negative (or undesirable) synchronicity sometimes shows up as a way-shower to point you in the right direction.

It shows you the contrast you need in order to become clear about what you’d prefer, what you would rather have or experience.

Here’s an article that can help you with that:

Use contrast to help you gain clarity and find new direction

Life is always for us, and the undesirable circumstances in our life are there to help us select what we would prefer to have and experience instead.

You are always free to choose a new or different direction to go.

Nothing is ever holding us back other than our beliefs about ourselves and life.

Here’s some articles that can be helpful to you:


And these too:

Your state of consciousness is what determines your experience of life

What you believe is limiting you is not real (How to Set Yourself Free)

Your energy and consciousness decides your future and flow

We are going in the direction we look. Literally.

You can test this for yourself by taking your attention off of anything related to healing, cleansing and purging and instead start focusing on other things, things that makes you happy and that brings you joy.

We are always free to choose anew, in every moment.

This moment Right Now, you can make a new choice — You are free to choose any direction you want to go, at any time.

NOW can be a fresh start, where you walk away from who you have been up until now (the old identity of someone that needed purging and cleansing), and all you have to do from this moment on, is to attend to whatever is happing in you or around you at the moment they occur.

No need to look backwards anymore, or trying to fix something that might not even need any healing!

You can choose to look forwards instead.

For example, you mentioned that you want to get a job, so that could be something to focus on and go more fully in on.

Here’s a couple of articles that can inspire you to shift your attention around to more life-affirming activities:

Stay present in the Now and focus on the Future

Flow happens when you focus on the right things

You can live as you please, no one is hindering you from doing anything other than yourself — This is true for each and every one of us.

No one is stopping us, no one is judging us, no one is holding us back but us (by the beliefs we hold).

We don’t have to be looking back at all, actually, unless you want to, but if you’re an overall healthy human being, why would you want to do that?

It makes much more sense for a healthy person to be looking forwards instead.

I’m going to assume you’re fine and that you just need to course-correct yourself now that you seem to be done with the old, and if you agree, then do that – Let go,

Let go of the heavy stuff and move forwards from here on.

No more waiting for your life to begin!

Change your perception about what full moons mean.

We give everything we experience meaning, and now it just happens to be that you correlate full moons to be about purging and other heavy stuff.

You have come to give it that meaning, but you can shift that around and make it mean something else, something positive and life-affirming instead.

What if full moons meant that you’re reaping the fruits of your past efforts and work that you’ve done?

That it’s manifesting time, that you’re about to receive the rewards, that you’re coming to completion of one cycle of life and are about to embark on the next level and phase, which is always higher than the previous?

Full moons don’t have to be ‘negative’, they can be very empowering and rewarding too. Again; depending on what you focus on, what your beliefs are, that’s what your experience will be.

And sure, yes, we can all be affected by the full moon energies by feeling a bit more emotional perhaps, but if you ‘know’ that that’s the cause, that it’s just because it’s full moon, then you can also more easily disregard any mental stuff that is going on at that time and decide to deal with it a day or two after if it’s still bothering you.

We don’t have to take every little thought and feeling seriously.

If you have enough self-awareness, then you will know if it’s something that actually needs to be addressed or dealt with, or if it’s just that you’re extra sensitive and emotional around full moons, and if so, it doesn’t have to mean that you need healing or that you need to ‘fix’ anything.

In that sense it’s fine to just wait it out. Just be kind to yourself during that time and give yourself some slack, and then, if the issue is still there after a day or two, then deal with it then.

Simply be honest with yourself, that’s all. Don’t look for trouble and problems to solve and fix if there’s nothing there that is obvious.

When we live in the Now, then we’re always able to handle whatever happens, so trust that and wipe your canvas clean from the past Today.

Start a new momentum in your life.

Many times we know what to do. We know what step to take.

And you yourself wrote that full moon times used to be very blessing before you knew about “cleansing Chakras” etc, and now, because you’re stuck in the loop of purging and cleansing, you’ve become resentful towards all that.

Your mind has come to expect it to be that way (by your beliefs), so you’re only digging yourself deeper into bitterness by not course-correcting yourself when you feel you’re off path.

The annoyance and resentment comes as a signal from your higher self telling you that you’re done with that part of your life now.

Trust the unfolding of your life.

  • “What is calling me next?” Ask that.
  • “What direction would be more enjoyable to take?”
  • “How can I make this mean something positive?”
  • “What has been the three biggest growth lessons I’ve learned from this?”
  • “I’m ready to move on from this now, show me what’s next.”

This is how you get of the wheel of no progress and emptiness.

Decide to be happy, to do things that makes you happy, and that enhances your experience of life.

You have the right to do that, it’s your life, and your higher self, or God, wants you to be happy and to experience forward movement in life.

Here’s an article that can help you with that:

Experience a Quantum Leap!

(Original) image by Meiying Ng on

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Transformational Prayer Process by Maria Erving


  1. Ebti X

    Hello Maria,

    Thank you for the article was extremely helpful and clear.

    I have got your point here, that whatever you focus on is the more of what you’re creating and I believe it’s true but I do have a question here.

    I do actually have the nudge to go and shift my direction but each time I take the first steps to do that the mind purge more of unpleasant childhood memory, is that because the mind has understood that “purging and cleansing” is your comfort zone and that I shouldn’t break free from it, while I am totally free as you mentioned in the article? If the answer is YES, then is shifting my attention to other direction is enough to stop the purging and the whole wheel?

    And thank you for your time and wisdom I would like to see your view about this question 🙏

  2. You’re so very welcome Ebti, glad to hear you found it helpful.

    Yes, shifting your attention, but also mindset, perspective and other things matter, but persistence pays off so follow the nudges anyway even if the old state of consciousness is trying to take over again or pull you into things that you don’t enjoy anymore, or find useful to your progress.

    Another thing I want to mention is that there’s truth in the saying that ‘what you resist persists’.

    So the more you resist the purging if it comes up, the more you don’t want it, the stronger and more powerfully it will come up, so let the purging happen, you can do that without getting overly involved in it, and then you’ll see how it loses its power and strength.

    Welcome it. Let it be okay if it happens again.

    When we allow things to come up and when we look at whatever it is with awareness and openness (and not resistance), then it also becomes weaker, simply because you’re no longer fighting against it.

    See what I mean?

  3. E X

    Yeah I totally understand and it makes perfect sense to me.

    Thank you for the clarification and the whole thing I truly appreciate it 🤍

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