When The Ego Realizes It Has No Future
Suffering can be a great teacher. The agony and the despair that oftentimes is experienced in the process of spiritual awakening can be very disturbing, and if we are not aware, we can get stuck in pure hellish desperation which can escalate into deep depression and worse.
I’m so grateful that Truth has never let me go or left me alone, even in my severe spiritual fits that I have thrown where I have let God know that he can go %&?# himself and that I don’t want to have anything to do with spirituality anymore.
Life has always presented to me exactly what I needed to hear that could help me through it, and always in the right time.
Somewhere in the process of spiritual awakening the time will come when the grinding of the ego gets so incredible unbearable that you cry out to God that you don’t wan’t to go any further, that you regret that you embarked on the spiritual path in the first place (like it’s a choice:-) and that you can’t take it anymore, and you have come to the realization that whatever you attempt by your own will, you will not succeed.
You know that, and you are in deep discouragement, hopelessness and frustration, and you can’t wait until it’s evening when you can go to bed and escape life, because it’s just too much to take. (Maybe you even dull yourself with alcohol or drugs etc).
There has been things and opportunities coming to you, but they all seem “half-given”. It’s like there’s an invisible dark force (sometimes you even think it’s God and that you must have been Hitler or someone evil in your past life and that you’re now being punished for it) that likes to give you a teaser only to take the gift or opportunity back.
Someone who likes to mess with your mind and who takes pleasure in seeing you suffer.
An opportunity, a great idea, something that you feel excited about comes your way, but only half of it. You feel blocked, unable to bring it forth, or there’s no response at all.
If you have ever felt this and experienced the frustration and agony it brings, then I have an important message for you.
This is all a part of the process of spiritual awakening.
It’s very important that you know that, otherwise there’s a risk you go so deep into despair that the suffering doesn’t transform you but instead you go deeper into duality and the egoic state of consciousness.
I want you to recognize that the agony, the sorrow, the anger, frustration and all that as the burning of the ego, because that’s what it is.
The ego is burning in these moments which can last for a few hours, to days, even months and years in some cases – and so I want to share with you that those moments of despair is actually very, very fortunate. (When perceived with an open heart, understood and embraced).
If you have asked for the truth of your being to be realized, then this will happen in some degree, and as long as there is identification with being a separate person/ego, the process will be one of suffering.
But when we can go within and ask who this suffering is happening to, something happens within us.
When we can – even in the most difficult times – keep saying Thank You Thank You Thank You, something happens within us.
Why this is a good thing, is because when the ego realizes, after all it’s attempts to create, attract, get something or whatever (basically always projecting an imagined future where all will be well and great) that it actually don’t even have a future, the realization will reveal Truth within you and the ego finally gives up.
But there’s a trap in this, and that is that the ego wants you to identify with the emotional turmoil and the second you give into it and you start to believe the thoughts, that’s the moment the ego takes a firm hold of you, emotionally and mentally.
You start to believe your thoughts that say that there’s no use trying to do anything anymore because you know you will fail. Meaningless takes hold of you, and that can lead to unbearable suffering in itself.
We all want to feel purpose and meaningfulness. Of course.
But the Truth is, that the ego can never be or have either.
So when the ego finally realizes that is has no future, it will vanish – the Light within takes care of that; it’s not done by us, but comes by our surrender to the process.
Please remember that even though that can be very difficult to go through, as it will feel like a bulldozer within you, grinding and burning away the remnants of the ego, it is all for the sake of the awakening for Life to wake up as you.
Everything serves Truth and awakening. Everything.
Knowing what it is all about will be helpful, and that’s when something else can arise and take over; the Truth of who you really are can really shine and It will live as you, and you come to realize that life is full right now, that the future you wanted so badly was just a fantasy of the mind and not the least desirable after all because you realize it’s not even real.
And I want to add something to ponder and think about:
Would you rather go through the ego death process over time, or would you like to just get over with it?
I mean if you could chose, would you not like to get the spiritual bandage ripped off fast?
Or would you prefer the ego death to be draaagged out through many life-times so that your little feelings don’t get hurt?
I’m making a joke to make a point and not to diminish any emotional turmoil as I know how it feels myself obviously, and I know sometimes a humorous pointing out can be very insightful. It helps us see how silly we are sometimes making everything so damn serious 🙂
I’m merely pointing this out because we take our feelings so personally and get so attached and identified with them, and all the while it’s all about the ego!
We are not our feelings and thoughts, they simply arise in consciousness just as any other thing and experience does.
When we can release ourselves from the grips of the ego by our awareness of its ways it will vanish and take the backseat, and instead Life itself leads the way that goes nowhere because it’s always right here, and right now.
Remember always; you are where you are by divine appointment, right on time, and nothing is wrong. Trust Life.
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If you’re in the middle of a ego-grinding moment and would like to have someone to talk with who knows what your going through, let me know if you’d like to speak with me on Skype.
More information can be found on my sessions page.