You Have To Be Willing To Be Alone (Dedicated to Truth)

A commitment to Truth can for some people mean they have to spend some time alone, or even feel isolated from the world for a while and sometimes all friends and even family may be moving away from them, or fall away.

That has been my own experience many times throughout my life, in different phases of my life.

Some of them were obvious choices, like when I stopped doing drugs, obviously I had to let go of my old friends, so there were times when I was all alone and I had to learn how to move and be in the “real world” again all by myself.

I have always been blessed with having pets, so they have always meant a lot to me, they have in many ways been my angels on earth so to speak and helped me with more than I can even begin to mention.

This past year after my spiritual awakening experience that completely shifted my consciousness, many people have left me and I have left them.

My message doesn’t resonate with them anymore, and that is perfectly fine.

I no longer teach control (LOA, Mind Power etc), but the let go of control, the total opposite of my former teachings; I have been completely transformed and none of those past teachings resonate with me anymore.

I am so totally committed and dedicated to truth, I could not be anything else, and that means that I have to be willing to loose everyone in my life for it if Truth requires so, and I am.

I really am.

I love what I have discovered, or realized. What has come alive in me.

Being alone is not the same as being lonely. It’s a natural happening in the process and so there will be a time of adjusting yourself to the new, and if you’re feeling isolated or forced to be alone, see it as a blessing, because believe me it is.

If you truly are dedicated to know and live the Truth and nothing but the Truth, it will remove everything (everything!) from your life that is not true, and that may include some of your most cherished beliefs and even relationships from your life.

It will empty your life from all that is not true, and leave nothing undone – all you have learned will be unlearned, and you will be left naked.

On your own, but not ‘alone’-alone.

Embrace that, wherever you are, because there’s an undercurrent of flow going on that you may not understand yet.

Being dedicated to Truth means to embrace everything, not only the nice and comfortable parts of life (that’s really how the ego rolls, it’s always looking for a way out while our true nature embraces everything, that’s what true and mature spirituality is, it’s not about “feeling better”, but to sincerely allow yourself to experience everything); it means literally everything, and that includes the willingness to be alone.

It includes the willingness to look very closely at everything that is not true in our lives and have that removed either by our own choice, or by us kicking and screaming our way through it by the feeling of victim-hood. But it will be removed, trust me on that one.

If you have a sincere wish to know the Truth and nothing but, it will be known to you what you need to let go of.

And if you’re already past that insight but are resenting and resisting your imposed alone-ness then ask yourself if you really would go back if you could, knowing what you now know?

It’s impossible. Life has a hold on you, and it will not let you go. Spiritual awakening is about waking up from the false.

Simply trust it and be willing to be alone and use that time to really go within and see the blessing in your opportunity to not have anything or anyone distracting you.

You could have that attitude to it too. (That’s where our seemingly free will lies; our attitude towards the inevitable:-)

Your alone time is so important, so use it wisely – dedicate it to know Truth fully, inquire within sincerely and deeply with all your heart and give yourself fully to it.

You’re freedom lies in the surrendering to what is, whatever it is.

Some will leave you and some won’t, just know that whoever leaves, is meant to leave, and that all is in absolutely perfect order.


 

When you follow the flow of mass consciousness, you feel alone, abandoned, stuck and contracted. When you follow the flow of your own life's energy, help is available and you're supported by the universe and experience progress and continuous expansion.

If you're ready to make the shift, I'm here for you.

 

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Comments

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  2. G

    Hi Maria, thank you for this. I’m at the point in my life where I can’t seem to trust anyone. But like you said maybe it requires alone time for me to be able to trust again. Like just on the other articles I’ve read, I feel like not wanting to talk to anyone. Like I became really distant from everyone.

    Like I’ve come to a point where if they got tired with me and just leave me alone, I’ll be fine. Sometimes my ego really keep on taking over. There were times that I’m learning how to naturally interact with them, like not walking on egg shells, then I could feel like I’m being able to connect with them truly, then I become attached with that thought, then what happens is that it feels like I’m wanting to distant myself again.

    I want to know why, sometimes I’m happy, like learning how to interact with them, then there are times like I don’t want it anymore, maybe because I’m making it so important, which is not natural for me.

    Another thing I want to ask is that, about being numb. I feel numb especially at home, in the presence of someone who manipulated me. Even when I was a kid, she was too controlling. And whenever I feel her presence, I feel resentments, like you know I grew up with her, and she alwasomething’s wrong with me, which is very depressive. I can’t even be myself and show her my vulnerability, because I feel like she’s going to manipulate me over and over again.

    The trauma is there. I was angry, and I use my anger to avoid being manipulated. That’s numbing. It was like, I can’t be vulnerable specially with her, and that’s what I don’t really feel like doing.

    It’s hard, to walk on egg shells. Before I’m always trying to be good and sacrifice my own well-being for her. And now I’m putting anger in front just to make her see this boundary that I build between us.

    I don’t know what to do. I feel numb. I feel like not being myself. I feel like I’m using my anger to protect myself.

  3. Thank you for commenting and sharing G.

    This post is very old, from a time that I call my previous life, so I’m just going to focus on what you wrote to me and help you the best I can so that you can progress on your path moving forward.

    You wrote:

    “I’m at the point in my life where I can’t seem to trust anyone. But like you said maybe it requires alone time for me to be able to trust again.”

    The trust that I was speaking about – what I think and remember now at least – is about trusting Life, trusting your path, so it had nothing to do with trusting or not trusting other people.

    So if you can’t trust people, like overall, then being alone would be an unhealthy thing to do, that would be to avoid whatever trust-issues you have with people instead of working on healing them within yourself and with the people in your life that you have the trust-issues with.

    But of course, if they are toxic people and just not trustworthy, then the only person you need to work on is yourself, but not by avoidance of other people, that’s not good.

    That would only lead to further isolation and aloneness.

    I don’t know the details of what you’re struggling with but you wrote:

    “There were times that I’m learning how to naturally interact with them, like not walking on egg shells, then I could feel like I’m being able to connect with them truly, then I become attached with that thought, then what happens is that it feels like I’m wanting to distant myself again.”

    You want to distance yourself from them because you deep down feel you have to walk on eggshells for them, that’s why you keep going back and forth.

    Unstable people who triggers that kind of behaviors in others usually have narcissistic personalities and they can seem nice at times, but they are always manipulative, and your inner being is telling you to stay away from them.

    That’s what I’m reading from this, and you really shouldn’t ‘go back’, ever, to people who you feel you have to walk on eggshells for, no matter how ‘nice’ they appear at times.

    That’s how narcissistic people operate and it’s a way for them to lure people in again – it’s all a manipulative game, so stay away from them, that’s my advice.

    Here’s a post for you that can be helpful:

    https://mariaerving.com/insecure-toxic-people

    Bottom line: That you’re distancing yourself from manipulative people is GOOD. You’re actually doing a healthy thing for yourself, so trust yourself and know that you are worthy of being treated with respect.

    And if they are narcissists then REALLY stay away from them because they are master manipulators!

    Your other question where you wrote about someone you live with and that you feel numb with when you’re around them.

    I don’t know the details of that either, but if you don’t feel good about the people you live with you should really do whatever it takes to move away from them and get your own place.

    Resentment comes when things between people can’t get freely communicated so that’s either something you have to do (communicate how you feel), or you just simply have to remove yourself from the situation altogether.

    And since you can’t communicate with this person and show your true feelings and so on in front of them, you’re protecting and defending yourself by becoming angry and in that way setting up boundaries for yourself that should already be in place naturally if the relationship was healthy.

    So G, it sounds like you need to remove yourself from where you live and get your own place if possible.

    If you’re not able to do that right now, and communicating your concerns and feelings etc. is not an option either, then you kind of just have to learn to maneuver the time you live there in the best way possible while doing everything you can to stay in your own power.

    I’ve been in situations myself in the past where I couldn’t move away and was ‘stuck’ with people and I just had to learn how they function and adjust myself to the situation as best as I could and keep it as peaceful as I possibly could by not making any waves so to speak.

    It was a really tough time but I learned a lot about human nature in that time, so you can do that too.

    You can read and learn about how narcissistic people think and behave and get to know their minds that way and keep to yourself as much as possible while you do everything you can to find another place to live that has a healthier environment.

    Hope this was helpful to you, and please feel very free to share and ask more if anything was unclear or if I misunderstood something etc.

    But I really feel that if you are being manipulated by the people you live with, you should really do everything you can to move away from them.

    And of course, forgiveness is important too, to forgive them for whatever they have done to you and for any pain they have caused so that you can become free from the resentment and anger.

    Forgiveness will help you release them to their highest good and also release yourself to your highest good so that you can all become free from the toxic energetic bonds between you.

    Here’s articles that can help you with that:

    https://mariaerving.com/?s=forgiveness

  4. G

    Thank you for your reply Maria. I was wrong. It’s not about my trust on other people, it’s about trusting life. I feel like I distanced myself for a time because I was really walking on eggshells.

    I always thought I need to walk on eggshells. That’s what I have to do, so that I can feel accepted at home. And so I walked on eggshells unconsciously with other people too (this was before my awakening). I was like a people pleaser.

    There was a time that I wanted to be alone, like really showing what I was feeling. But not explaining myself. Like I don’t want to interact with them like how I used to interact. I feel like depressed that time and I didn’t cared what they would think. You know like I’m tired of pretending to be fine. I even stopped smiling and laughing. I felt like it wasn’t true.

    Maybe I wanted to feel what it feels like to be in solitude. Like not worrying about walking on eggshells. I didn’t completely isolated myself. But it’s like I stayed “cold” to my friends, they’re good friends though, it’s just that I wanted myself to be true. If I can’t be true then, what’s the sense of our friendship. So it’s more likely I was showing them how deep my pain is. Like this time, I’m not afraid if they would see it. I’m still with them, but if I feel like wanting to be quiet, like not having the energy to talk to them, then I wouldn’t mind. Like I just stopped sacrificing my own feelings just to make people comfortable. And I was lucky that they understand me. They understand my silence.

    I thought that they would only accept me if I can give their needs, but I realized that it wasn’t even my responsibility. And there was no love there. In the end, it was all in my head. They still stayed even though I became that serious and silent.

    I’ve read one of your articles about a new way of interacting is being born, and that article I think resonated with me.

    Maybe I misunderstood trust on other people and it’s really about trusting my path.

    The thing with the person who manipulated me, is that I feel numb because it’s hard that you need to be always angry in order for them to see the truth.

    Yes I’ve already read about narcissist. And the thing is that she is the vulnerable one. She’s always in that victimhood. I’ve communicated what I’m feeling. I thought she understood. But she always sees that there is always something wrong with everything. When my friends understood my silence, she didn’t. She thought it was something personal.

    The painful part is that growing up with her, she was always projecting herself in me. She was nice and vulnerable. I was the one parenting her without my awareness. It was a toxic relationship, and I didn’t know it until I began reading and searching for answers. All this time I thought she was right, but something always doesn’t felt right.

    When I knew the truth I resented and I was really angry. And even showing her my anger offends her personally. It was the time I didn’t want anything anymore if it wasn’t the truth. I didn’t care what she thought about me.

    I think that anger makes me feel numb because, all I really want to do is be able to love them truly. And I learned that I can’t really love someone when I keep on sacrificing my own well-being for them. And that the anger is the only thing that is true for me on her, not the “old” me anymore.

    I thought this anger would pass, but it becomes something that I use to always let her see this boundary.

    Maybe I’m still angry because I don’t even want to be in this environment anymore.

    Being angry either doesn’t felt good. And maybe I’m feeling numb because I’m suppressing the love I want to show her. And I can’t, because she demands everything that’s not the truth about love. Like what I have read on your article, that there’s some people you can only love in a distance.

  5. Thank you for sharing from your life G.

    It sounds like you’ve been able to grow a lot from your experiences and learned more deeply about yourself and others in the process, so that’s good.

    So how are things now, what’s the situation like now with you, where you live etc., and what do you feel and think would be the best thing for you to do next?

  6. G

    Thank you again for your reply Maria. I have a question. How much does staying in an unhealthy environment affects you?

    Your articles have helped me so much. I’ve watched videos before like LOA. I’ve been reading and watching videos like how to change your state of being when you lived your whole life with anxiety. But it didn’t helped me at all.

    Your articles have helped me so much on facing the truth. If I am depressed, I really need to feel it. If I feel sad, I really need to acknowledge it.

    The reason I questioned how much does an unhealthy environment affects you is that, this numbness is keeping me depressed.

    Sometimes I go to school and I observe myself sometimes, I’m so quiet, like feeling apathetic. Sometimes I can’t even laugh when I heard some jokes. I don’t know if I’m bringing my depression at home to everywhere I go. I don’t seem to look like motivated on something. But I think it brings me more relief to feel that way than pretending to be fine.

    Yes, I’m feeling numb. And I can’t feel alive with that. But there are times I would cry, to a point where the honesty just comes out. I can’t explain what I was feeling, but these people I live just brought me so much pain in life. It’s hard to grow up when you feel unworthy. It’s hard to have anxiety, it’s hard that you don’t even know that depression is eating you alive.

    The anger has passed, I no longer blame them. But it’s really hard to forget.

    Will I always be depressed and apathetic until I go no contact with them?

  7. Hello again G,

    You asked “How much does staying in an unhealthy environment affect you?”

    Just look at your own current experiences and you have the answer right there!

    If it affects you in negative ways, it’s unhealthy.

    Trust your own experiences and feelings and do what you can to leave and move somewhere else.

    Pretending to be fine is never good, but being depressed, numb and apathetic is not good either obviously.

    It’s vitally important that you take action on changing those things and if you can’t do it yourself you need to ask for help and support in changing your circumstances.

    Is there someone in your life that you can turn to? Someone that you can move to, or that can help you in some other way?

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