No, I don’t work for free. Do you?
It would be wonderful if we all could do that and still be able to support ourselves but that is not possible for me and I want to address this matter.
The most ridiculous thing I experience when it comes to my work is that many people expect so called “spiritual work” to be free of charge, and I sometimes receive long emails, I mean very long, where people share their problems and difficulties with me, and the sentences are not even written in a way that is comfortable for the eyes to read, the words are just thrown up basically and then sent to me.
And then when I reply them saying that I’m available for spiritual guidance sessions or invite them to become members of my website and use my Ask Maria service where I can write them an article in reply to their questions, I either don’t hear back from them again..
(And I can feel intuitively that they expected me to write them back and spend hours of my time to sit and reply to people privately when many of the answers or guidance to their questions they have can be be found on my membership site).
.. Or; they write me back, sometimes fiercely offended for me not having catered to their needs as they would have wanted me to.
At times people try to project guilt on me too by writing things like “I’m so disappointed, I really thought you care about peoples pain and wanted to help, but I guess I was wrong..”.
But let me just tell you that those manipulations are not working on me.
Would you say that to a psychologist too..? Or any other type of therapist. Would you contact them to make an appointment and expect the session to be free..? And then when they tell you their fee, would you then be offended by that?
If someone wishes to talk with me/have spiritual guidance sessions, then yes, there is going to be an exchange in energy in the form of money. Obviously. As with any other work or service.
Nobody can live on air alone, and this is what I have dedicated my life to. (To Truth; wherever it leads me).
I don’t have a day-job, and times are tough for me too financially at the moment, just like millions of people all over the world are experiencing financial restrictions right now, so am I.
But that’s not even the point! Everybody should be paid for what they do and share, period. All work that comes from the heart is “spiritual” to me.
So there. Now you know that I do not work for free, and especially not for people who tries to guilt me into doing so or manipulate me, that kind of behavior is not sitting well with me and it’s utterly pointless to even try to manipulate me in any way. (Guilt is a popular one for egos).
With that said, I have helped many (countless) people over the years for free, and from experience I have also learned that many people who receive free counseling are not really committed, they rarely do what is suggested and they simply don’t respect the sharing that has been done.
So I only ever give any free advice or guidance nowadays; only to people that I feel is sincere and honest in their request, and I feel that intuitively right away where they are coming from and sometimes respond to them offering my services for free if they lack funds when I feel there’s a mutual respect involved.
Never to people who demand that I should cater to their (ego) needs for free just because my work is considered to be “spiritual”. That is pure nonsense to me.
How would you feel if I demanded that you should do your work for free for me?
If I demanded to get get free haircuts, free doctors appointments, free food in the grocery store and so on.
Because in my mind, all work that is from the heart is spiritual, and spiritual work has nothing to do with only working as a counselor. A taxi driver can do spiritual work just as powerfully as a spiritual teacher or whatever.
It has nothing to do with what we do, it has everything to do from where we do, from what place we are coming from within.
That’s my perspective, so I will probably give the link to this post to all people who contact me from now on that expects my work to be free.
Now you have read it and are able to make the decision if you wish to have a session with me or become a member of my website and use my Ask Maria service where I can write you an article in reply to your questions.
I can’t sit and use hours and hours of my time to write and reply privately to people everyday for free (and believe me, I have done plenty of that) as we all have to be able to support ourselves financially.
Thank you for your understanding in this matter.
Maria
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*The Sessions page was updated on September 24.
Maria Erving, you wrote my words!! Thank you for speaking the truth! As a psychologist who works primarily in the spiritual arena, I too receive those emails from those who attempt to manipulate, elicit sympathy, guilt, etc, and who never follow through on even free services I offer.
I stumbled across your site (never accidentally!) and it’s an honour.
Blessings,
Jonni
I’m glad to hear you could relate to what I shared in the article, I mean, that it resonated with you, not that I’m glad you receive these kinds of email too, but you know what I mean! 🙂
And I agree with you, there are no accidents, all events and encounters are intertwined somehow (and what anything means we can’t know), that makes life so beautifully mysterious and also magical!
Glad to hear from you Jonni:)
Good on you for honouring yourself by not allowing yourself to be used by those who are users.
Matthew 7:6 came to mind just now; “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces”.
I think that goes for everybody, it’s a matter of being sensitive enough to feel when someone is taking advantage of you (or trying to) or if they receive whatever is given with gratitude (not that that is why we give, but you get my point; it’s about in what spirit something is given and received/our attitude) and also if they honor what is given by actually making use of it.
There’s nothing wrong at all to give freely and also to receive – it’s just the mentality that many have that spiritual work should be free of charge that inspired me to write this article, it makes no sense to me at all to think that way.
To me all work that comes from the heart is “spiritual” and no work is more or less holy than others.
Well said. It is not about getting back equal to what you give out (and I don’t just mean materially), however when you encounter the occassional person who just takes every time, then you know they are only using you for their own benefit. I think most givers have experienced this. Thanks again for your insights. Great food for thought.
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Love it. Thank you so much. I have only very recently come to realize that my own path lies in the direction of spiritual teaching and guidance, but I’ve always been a little perplexed (and often, quite frankly, a lot irritated) when friends of mine would complain about spiritual teachers, intuitives, energy workers, etc. “ACTUALLY CHARGING MONEY!”
As far as I’ve been able to put together, apparently there is a commonly held belief out there that spiritual teachers can derive all the nourishment their body requires from sunshine, fairy dust, and the smell of puppies, that they should be content with couch-surfing in the winter and yurt-surfing in the summer to meet their need for shelter, and that in any event, anything they really need will just show up because they ARE so spiritual, so there’s really no justification for requiring payment for their services.
Now, granted, this is an odd belief under any circumstances, but what really gets me is when one of these rants is directed at a teacher, intuitive, etc. whom the person doing the ranting has already praised up and down as being of immense help (and often at a time they were in desperate need of it). In other words, even when they admit that they received something of real value, they still don’t see why they should have to pay for it. At the same time, they’ll pay for cable, trendy new fashions, and dinners at upscale restaurants without a second thought.
It all seems bewilderingly backwards to me…
Yes, it shows where most people have their real values.
I think we should all have an abundance of all that is good and wonderful in life and that includes plenty of money!
There is no virtue in being poor, nothing holy about that.
The more financial abundance we have, the more we can give, share, and use on our own further spiritual (and business) development and growth which in turn not only blesses us but the people we come in contact with.
I believe in a universe that is abundant and that includes the abundance of money.
Just as the air that we breathe, so should money also easily flow in and out in an everlasting abundant flow of giving and receiving.
That to me is the mature way of looking at things.
I personally won’t settle for a small life when I can have a big, wonderful life that is filled with an abundance of all awesomeness that life can include.
But we are all different, the only thing that separates our individual lives are the beliefs we hold about life at large and our place in it.
To me life is marvelous and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest! 🙂
To me true joy lies in being true to Truth – that’s the source of all happiness and freedom 🙂
Best wishes to you on your journey to become a teacher yourself – and when you do get your business going, let me be the first one to wish you abundant riches on your chosen path, and may you bless and prosper both yourself and the people that finds their way to you and what you have to share with this world!
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