Powerful questions that will take you out of an unhealthy and imbalanced relationship
25 questions that will help you get out of a relationship that is imbalanced and not healthy for you.
I recommend that you write and journal about it and really take your time doing this, and it will change your life in terms of any future or existing relationships.
You deserve to have a loving, respectful, and supportive relationship!
1.) How would you describe yourself in the relationship? Make a list and don’t hold back.
2.) How would you describe your partner in the relationship? Same here, make a list.
3.) What do you think you deserve?
4.) What are your needs in a relationship?
5.) What has been swept under the rug? What have you avoided and/or ignored?
6.) What toxic patterns do you see in yourself in your relationship(s)?
7.) If you’re in the dating game; describe the type of men/women you seem to attract into your life. What are the similarities that they share?
8.) How does an ideal relationship look like? Get clear on the dynamics you want.
9.) What do you want? What do you really want in the future?
10.) What are your top 3 values in a relationship? (What is most important to you?)
11.) What are you no longer available for? Redefine your boundaries.
12.) Define your deal-breakers. What are you no longer going to accept, tolerate or put up with?
13.) What are you resisting? What do you know that you don’t want to know?
14.) What 1-3 actions steps can you take that would demonstrate that you now choose to love and value yourself more?
If you don’t know how to love yourself:
15.) If you knew how to love yourself, what would be the first thing you would do? (Remember to write everything down, journal about it – Don’t just ‘think’ the answers.)
16.) If you had a stronger sense of self-worth, what are the things you would be doing in this relationship, or in any relationship, that you’re not doing right now?
17.) If you would imagine and project yourself to a future state where you really love yourself and value yourself, what are the things you do when you live in that more empowered state?
Close our eyes and imagine how you would conduct yourself, how you would behave around a man/woman or in a relationship, on a date etc.
18.) How do you see yourself speaking, acting, responding etc?
Seeing yourself in your mind’s eye like this will give you clues about what changes you need to make.
Sometimes it’s a behavioral change, and sometimes it’s about making new choices and decisions for yourself that are empowering rather than disempowering.
19.) Back to a previous question; what BS are you done with? Both in your own behavioral patterns and how you allow others to treat you.
20.) If your relationship was a solid ten, what are the things you would be doing together that you’re not doing now?
21: What 1-3 actions steps can you take that would support the new you that you want to be? The more empowered you, the authentic, self-loving you.
22.) What is she/he like? Who is the you that you want to be? Describe with as many words as possible.
23.) How has having a low sense of self-love and self-worth held you back? What has it cost you?
Get in touch with the pain – That will help you not wanting to do that to yourself anymore. Even if it’s painful to admit to yourself, do it, and do it without any self-condemnation.
You’re only clarifying for yourself what you no longer want.
24.) And then describe how your life would change if you gave all that up (the pain, the patterns etc) and started to love and value yourself more?
You can begin fresh now and be totally free from the past by starting to focus on the future you want and deserve. Allow yourself to come into full bloom and let the past be in the past.
Cut the cords (I can help you) and move on as the new empowered you.
Many times the limiting beliefs that causes imbalance, codependency, and unhealthy relationship patterns etc has to do with self-abandonment.
Abandoning yourself in order to stay connected, even if it’s toxic or unhealthy and imbalanced.
Or you feel that you have to do all the work in the relationship, that you’re always the one trying, and thus always accommodating to your partners wishes and ways of being.
When you stop abandoning yourself and you start being yourself more, the dynamics will change, or the relationship will come to an inevitable breaking point.
If that happens then embrace it – You are valuable.
You are important, and you deserve love, and it all starts with really loving yourself first, and you may have to do it radically in the beginning to make a very clear statement that you are hereby done with all the disrespectful BS.
You’re just done and won’t take it anymore.
There’s plenty of fish out there, people who would be interested in you and where you don’t have to be anyone else but yourself and where you’re treated in a respectful and loving way.
Believe such a relationship exists and make room for it by letting go of what no longer serves you.
Last question:
25.) When are you going to implement the 2-6 action steps that you have clarified for yourself?
More articles for you that will help break unhealthy patterns and dynamics in any kind of relationships:
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(Original) image by Justin Groep on Unsplash.com
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