My Ego is Afraid of Being Perceived as Arrogant
And that just makes me want to make myself even
more vulnerable and spiritually naked!
I was just out for a walk after my previous post http://mariaerving.com/healing/set-yourself-free-from-law-of-attraction-rules/ and thought about it, and other posts that I have written lately where I have shared my own spiritual journey and experiences, when I got inspired to write another one, so I almost ran home; when inspiration strikes you gotta get it expressed as soon as possible! 🙂
Thoughts that came to me was that because of me sharing openly and saying things like “…the wisdom of Teresa of Avila or John of the Cross, with which I can relate” the ego in me was a bit disturbed by the fact that I could be perceived as arrogant, thinking that who am I to share with others that I have had similar experiences as Saints, and that made me realize how stupid it is to think like that.
Why would it be arrogant to share that I have experienced Oneness with God, among many other so called mystical experiences?
I think that it is a good thing to share these things, not only for the upliftment it brings to other people who are experiencing similar things, but also because I think it’s ridiculous to hold oneself in a spiritual closet just because of how the ego is afraid of how it might be perceived.
Yes, I have met angels, and yes, I have actually even had Jesus come to me in person and talked to me. Yes, I have had many mystical experiences throughout my life, maybe especially the past years, that are too wonderful to even begin to explain with words.
Yes, I have had divine encounters. I have had a sense of complete oneness with everything.
And so have many others! I’m not special in any way! That is only what the ego is making us think in order to keep quiet about those experiences. (That others would think thoughts like “who does she think she is?”) Ooh, scary! lol 🙂
I think many people can relate to the experiences of Saints and Ascended Masters of the past, but we don’t speak about it enough.
One thing that hinders us I think, is that we are a bit worried about how people would see us if we told them about not only our wonderful spiritual experiences, but also about our spiritual temper tantrums, if we told them that we feel like life sucks sometimes, if we took that “happy blissful spiritual mask off” and told them about our inner struggles.
The ego would go ballistic; “Oh my God, what if they think I’m WEAK? “ or “Oh, my God, what if they think I think I am special?”, “Oh, my GOD what would they think if I told them I have seen an actual angel?” and so on.
I have shared some of my things with others, and I have sometimes got those vibes from people, so I too have chosen to not tell everyone everything. Especially the Jesus-thing. Very few know about that one. (Well, not anymore:-)
But why do we do that?
I’m telling you right now that it is only because of the ego, and it’s need of controlling us.
Why is it OK to share that “I made a million dollars withing ten months” and other “worldly achievements” but not speak about our spiritual “achievements”? (not the right wording, but I’m sure you know what I mean)
Because it threatens the ego, and the egos of others; what if others too finds out about actual Oneness and feelings of pure heavenly Love? Oh, my God, that would be the end of the ego in the long run..! We can’t have that now, can we? Nope, so lets not share things like that; you could be seen as arrogant..
So when I felt this now, I just had to go home as fast as I could and share this with you.
I really don’t give a **** about my ego and its fears, and I hope this post can encourage others to share their stories too.
Just because we experience what Saints and other more evolved people have experienced, doesn’t make us Saints.
But then again, maybe it does? We don’t know how we will be remembered by future generations. And would it be so bad if that is what we are evolving into..?
Just a thought 🙂