Don’t let unforgiveness poison your life
Free yourself by forgiveness.
Today I invite you to make a clean slate with the past and move on and forwards with your life.
Forgiving someone with an attitude of “I don’t care” while there’s clearly still pain and hurt left within you is not really forgiving someone.
To hold an unconscious/subconscious grudge towards someone is only going to poison your life, even if you think you’ve moved on by switching off your (surface level) emotions.
When you’re able to say “I don’t care” and being completely emotionally neutral (or even feel gratitude for what happened) when uttering those words, that’s when you’ve finally come to peace with whatever happened.
This means the healing work must go deeper than only being willing to send “love and light” to them, thinking that will be it.
Until you can be completely neutral regarding them there’s more releasing and healing work to do, so my invitation today is to do the inner work necessary and be done with it, once and for all.
No matter who has hurt you or what happened, forgive everything today. Forgive the people involved, yourself, and the whole situation.
Set yourself free.
Ask yourself if you want to be right, or if you want to be free.
You might think that it’s all ‘their fault’, and that may be right, but forgive anyway and move on.
Life is too short for resentment and holding on to pain and hurt.
Choose to open your heart today – and choose to keep it open, no matter what. It’s a choice we all make at every moment of our life.
It’s up to us to open our hearts and keep it open, and we can also choose to close it and keep it closed. It’s a moment-to-moment choice, and we’re always making it, either consciously or unconsciously.
We might think it was all them, and yes, maybe it was, sometimes it is, but who cares? Bring forgiveness and healing anyway.
It doesn’t mean that you have to become friends or even be in contact with the person or people ever again.
All it means is that you chose to open your heart and offered some kind of healing to the situation, to them, and to yourself.
Whatever the unforgiveness and pain is about in your life, ask yourself:
“What can I do to bring healing to this situation?”
The answers will come when you sit with this question for a moment.
Just sit quietly for a few moments and ask the questions within yourself.
Tears might come, and if so, cry them out, it’s part of the healing process.
The answer will come too, and you will feel a sense of love coming into your heart.
You might also feel resistance from the ego who does not want the healing or forgiveness because it wants to hold on to the grudge, the hurt, and the pain.
With a bit of self-awareness you will know when this happens.
Many times the resistance from the ego is actually a clear indication that you’re on to something good so pay attention to when that happens.
When the ego doesn’t want to do something you can rest assured that it’s exactly what your soul wants, and when you have the awareness, you also have choice.
Unconscious people don’t have the same freedom of choice (or “free will”), they just live out their programming, but you have it. You have the awareness, so you can choose what voice to listen to.
Again ask yoursef “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be free?” (and ultimately happy.)
Choosing freedom means you have to be willing to lower your guard and be vulnerable and even risk being rejected and completely misuderstood.
This should be okay with you if you truly want freedom.
Only the ego is concerned about losing face or being seen as weak.
Turn to Truth again and ask:
“What can I do that would allow for healing to take place?”
Whatever comes up, do that.
It may be to write a letter to someone that you then send, or don’t send. It might be for your eyes (and heart) only, and that’s okay.
It might also be to swallow your pride and contact someone you lost touch with and ask how they’re doing and then just take it from there.
Before you do this though;
Write down some notes for yourself that will help keep you on track and not get caught up in any drama in case old wounds are being exposed and flare up.
Stay with your intent, which is to bring healing to the situation or relationship.
Not with the intent to get back together again, or become friends again or whatever, but to bring healing.
So it’s important that you go into the conversation feeling clear about your intention and that you operate from a place of peace and alignment.
That will be your safety-bubble, because if you just stay with your intent, you’ll be able to pull out with your integrity still intact if things get ugly.
Miracles can happen too, remember that, so let love lead the unfolding of the event and the process.
And if they don’t want the healing or resolution, that should be okay too.
You can only control you and your own emotional state in any dealings with other people.
Sometimes it’s you that needs to say “I’m sorry”.
Or at least own your part of whatever happened.
If the other person seems hurt, then they probably are, so even if you don’t know exactly why, or what it was that you did that contributed to the pain, then you can also direct the question towards them.
“I want you to know that my heart is open for you, and if there is anything I can do to bring healing to you then I’m open to hear it.”
Maybe they only need to vent (this can be done in a calm and healthy way) and share their side of the story (seen and experienced from their perspective), and if so, let them talk without interuption.
If you truly want to be the bringer of peace and healing then you will be able to do this without letting your ego become all defensive and aggravated.
Remember that it is only their perspective and that it doesn’t encompass the whole truth.
Sometimes just being able to say what you feel, is all that is needed for healing to take place. People just want to be heard, just like you.
People act and behave from their level of consciousness and awareness, so it’s good to keep this in mind.
It’s true that ‘hurt people hurt’; but the soul doesn’t want revenge, it wants healing, but this doesn’t mean that you have to own up to something that you don’t agree with.
If you feel wrongly accused when they vent and share their feelings, just listen, and say that you’re sorry they feel that way and then thank them for sharing their side of the story.
You can also forgive and bring healing to situations without ever even seeing the people involved.
To do this, journal about it and then meditate and send love to the people involved, to the whole situtation, and forgive yourself too, even if you feel you’ve done nothing wrong.
Forgive the whole thing – all of it, and let it go.
Here’s a BONUS AUDIO I made many years ago that can be helpful to you.
It’s called “Guided Forgiveness Meditation: Forgive others, be forgiven, and forgive yourself” (29 min.)
You can find the forgiveness and healing meditation HERE.
Keep safe boundaries.
It’s also important to keep your boundaries, so a good way to do this is to ask yourself these two questions and then find some kind of middle way between the answers.
- First question: “What would Love do?”
- Second question: “What advice would I give my very best friend if he/she was in my situation?”
And then go from there.
Even if everyone is essentially the Divine, most people are living out their programming and conditioning on an unconscious level so they don’t even know it.
So if someone is unconscious (spiritually unaware), then you’ll be mostly dealing with their ego (conditioned self) so that needs to be taken into consideration too when talking with them.
Understanding this brings compassion, but it also helps you to stand firmly in your own divine power so you don’t get trampled on by other people’s wounded egos.
If you know they have strong narcissistic personalities though it’s best to not get them directly involved in your forgiveness and healing process at all.
Whatever you do and however you choose to do this;
Go in with an open heart and resolve to let it stay open the whole way, all to the end so that healing can take place.
Do not let it shut down or close.
This is your healing and your freedom is at stake, and a closed heart can’t be healed, it must remain open, no matter what.
Go in with peace – and leave with peace – and leave peace as you go.
Don’t allow anything to come between you and your unconditional love for life, and your commitment to freedom.
Stay in the moment even if they want to go to the past.
Do not allow past hurts cloud your Now, and also make no promises of or for tomorrow.
Just stay in the Now and deal with what is right then and there, and do it from a place of presence and alignment.
Raise your vibration by being willing to let go so that nothing can stay in your system that would continue to block the flow.
Here’s more articles for you that has to do with forgiveness:
May all go well and may you all find peace and healing today.