When we grow and evolve, our relationship dynamics changes too
Relationships can be challenging for those who are growth-oriented or in a transformational process.
As we begin closing down the year, it’s a great time to reflect on relationships, reset boundaries, and also show gratitude for the people in our life that has been there for us when we have needed them.
It’s when we go through something challenging or difficult that the people in our life will show us who they really are and where we have them.
It’s in those times that true friendships are revealed, and also those who are not real friends.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ― Maya Angelou
A lot of people also experience challenges in their marriages when their spouse is not growing with them.
This is a huge issue for many and many people feel very alone in their relationships because of this.
They don’t feel seen and heard and it becomes increasingly frustrating to live with someone who has stagnated in their personal growth and doesn’t have the awareness that they have.
The reality is that when you grow, your relationship dynamics will change.
Hopefully they evolve and transform into something better than what you have had before, and hopefully you have great friends and a wonderful marriage where you both hold space for each other’s growth.
Sadly this is not the case for most people and more and more people feel alone and disconnected from others.
It’s challenging for many because their friends and loved ones can’t understand what they are experiencing.
They simply can’t relate to the level of consciousness and awareness that you’re on or have started to awaken to.
When people don’t feel seen and heard they also feel alienated and alone, they don’t feel accepted and able to be who they are.
To be a friend/partner/spouse that is truly able to hold space for your friends/loved ones growth is one of the most beautiful gifts you can ever give to them.
And to have people in your life that understand transformational processes and who can let you be in one without making a big deal out of it is truly priceless.
So if you have a friend, or friends, who are comfortable with you in whatever way you show up, please make sure you show them how much you appreciate them.
True friends are people who accept you for who you are and still want you to become more so hold them dear and close.
The same goes for you too of course.
BE that friend that you want to have. Cheer for, and support your friends in becoming the person they want to be and become.
One of the biggest things you can do for anyone, including yourself, is to care for and love yourself first.
That’s when all the other things in life falls into place as well.
We are here to grow and evolve, to expand, and to become more of who we are, and if the people in your life can’t accept your growth, then I urge you to evaluate your relationship with them before you enter into the new year and decade.
Otherwise the frustration will just grow.
The people who wants you to stay the same will never be okay with you growing unless they too grow beyond who they were yesterday.
People who doesn’t grow and evolve will continue to expect you to be stagnated with them (they don’t know this of course) because that’s where they feel most comfortable “knowing” you.
Be a better friend to yourself.
And thank those who has been there for you this past year, the people who stood by your side when things were not so good.
Those are the people worth keeping, the people who are there through good times and bad.
You deserve the very best that life has to offer.
As we grow and evolve, we realize we may need different things out of our relationships and those things needs to be honored and communicated.
Don’t let anything that feels unsatisfying or unhealthy to continue without doing anything about it.
We only have this One Life so make sure you make decisions that you can be happy with.
Maybe you need to have a sincere talk with your friend/partner/spouse with the intent to give your relationship a real and honest chance,
.. or maybe you have come to the conclusion that the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away and leave them.
Below is relationship/friendship related articles that can help you make the choices that are most right for you:
To live in alignment with the values of your Soul and move from that place with your intentions is how you find true fulfillment in life, in your work, and in your relationships.
Values influences a person’s behavior and attitude and serves as guidelines in all situations and areas of life.
They are the guiding principle in our life towards healthy relationships, our work contribution and service to the world, and are what our intentions are based on.
Are you clear on your values?
Read the whole article here: “Living in Alignment with your Values and Intentions“
Not everybody deserves to be part of your tribe.
If it starts to feel draining to be around certain people in your life, then realize that you’re growing and they are not.
Sometimes you just have to leave some people behind and realize they can’t come with you to the next level of your life.
Who you surround yourself with is either elevating you and taking you higher, or they are depleting your energy and bringing you down.
Read the whole article here: “Your Tribe Affects Your Vibe (Energy is Contagious)“
Here’s four characteristics to look for in a person that may be draining you: “The #1 type of people to stay away from“
And here’s a powerful exercise that will help you see your existing relationships very clearly: “Powerful Relationship Awareness Exercise“
Every day Life is surrounding us with different situations and people that stimulate growth, and the more aware we are, the more we grow.
If being around certain people in your life makes you shrink, or feel smaller and less powerful and happy, then listen to the signals Life is giving you.
We are all affecting each other all the time.
Negativity and toxicity has a way of poisoning our lives if we don’t watch out for the signs and act accordingly in order to protect ourselves.
Change will continue to happen, at least in your life if you are a growth-oriented person, and sometimes other people choose to stay in one level of growth while you want to evolve and thrive.
So there’s a mismatch and that mismatch is a sign of you growing apart.
Not all people will come with you, and it’s a waste of time trying to drag them along hoping they will ‘adjust’ to your new level of growth if they are not interested in evolving and growing.
Read the whole article here:
The ego wants you to stay the same.
It doesn’t like change, and if you change (and grow), that’s just another threat for the ego and it will resist and fight you.
And if a person doesn’t have a sense of individuality and confidence, they start to cater to other people’s ego and tampering and downplaying who they are in order to appeal to the people around them.
They become a people-pleasers in order to be liked and to fit in.
And then all we have is a socialized group of people who have been whipped into playing roles and playing out the patterns that are expected of them.
Fun life, huh?
A group of people where each member is catering to and accommodating to the egos’ of the other group members.
Read the whole article here:
Here’s an old “Ask Maria” article that came to mind:
“.. I was just curious about how you may have dealt with these kind of situations yourself, that is, involvement with someone who coming from a more ego dominated state of consciousness.
Have you ever written about romantic involvements with people who don’t understand what an awakening is?
I imagine you must have experienced this first hand and know what I am talking about..”.
Read my reply here:
Everything serves Truth.
In the process of any kind of transformation, the foundation of our relationships with other people will go through a transformational phase as well, and some people will leave, while others stay and become even closer.
As we grow, we also grow more and more sensitive to energies and vibes and some of the friends we once enjoyed being around may even start to feel toxic and draining.
Either we are open with each other and are able to communicate honestly and sincerely, and by doing that able to establish a new way to relate, or the relationship will simply crumble and not be there anymore and we fall out of it as we grow apart.
The awkwardness and uncomfortable gut-feelings that are there is an invitation to look closer at the relationship and if it still feels supportive and loving it will stand the test, but if not, it’s important to be honest about it with yourself.
Read the whole article here: “How To Handle Relationship Changes (Spiritual Awakening Process)“
Step out of the game of always being so nice and “I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings”-box, and instead empower yourself by stepping into your own authentic self.
Let other people take responsibility for their own feelings and reactions.
Until you do, you will only internalize it and make yourself feel “off” and bad.
You will probably continue play the nice-person-role and take other peoples opinions to be more important than your own, and by that you’re only being loyal to others but not yourself.
Read the whole article here: “Being Authentic Means Respecting Yourself (Relationship tips)“
In every relationship the most important thing is to have a good communication, to be able to share openly and just be yourself.
Here’s a great process that includes two simple but very powerful questions that you can ask if you feel you have ‘fallen out’ with someone a bit, or if you feel you have some unresolved stuff that needs to be vented, or if you feel there’s weird vibes or something going on between the two of you:
Oftentimes the answers we seek are in the question.
If you constantly find yourself asking if you should do something like for example breaking up with someone, then the answer is YES.
The sign you’re looking for is right there in your question, because why would you even ask that if you really wanted to be with them?
What (and who) truly belongs to you comes easily when you get into alignment with who you really are and when you let go of that which is not harmonizing with you anymore.
The more in alignment you are, the more Life flows and comes to you, and with that flow alignment you naturally attract into your life the right people that you are meant to be with.
Read the whole article here: “Let Go of Anything that Feels Heavy“
Cut out the things and people from your life that takes (steal) your energy and drains you, or at least set up some boundaries and tune them out of your immediate awareness.
Read the whole article here: “Protect Your Peace At All Cost“
Another “Ask Maria” article that came to mind:
Despite my increased awareness of the ego and its games, I still find myself in the grips of ego at times, particularly when it comes to the judgements of other people.
Yesterday for example, I was walking down the street and someone shouted something out a car window at me.
I have no idea what it was, but that tormented me all day.
Why would someone shout like that? What did he think of me? Does he think I’m ugly?
What does this say about me? Etc.
On one level, I am aware that the ‘one’ who is asking these questions and affected by the opinions of others is the false self, and the ego.
Merely a story constructed through years of conditioning that is overly concerned about being rejected and neglected, and who defines herself excessively via how she looks.
However, this knowledge doesn’t stop it being painful and causing a barrage of anxious thoughts and feelings of isolation and insecurity.
Even though it was something shouted out a window and I don’t know what it was, it felt startling and threatening and made me cower.
It brought back feelings from childhood of rejection.
I was wondering how you would recommend dealing with negativity from others and how to live life without defining yourself through the stories and judgements of other people, even strangers.”
Read my reply here: “Learn how to stand up for yourself (Take No Shit)“
And here’s another one:
“Lately I’m experiencing a lot of anxiety regarding work.
How do you know when Life is asking you to move on, or does one stick with something that scares them even if it’s uncomfortable?
I work with the public and have dealt with many angry people.
However a recent incident with a very angry and reactive person has left me feeling very anxious about a possible future interaction with them.
I’ve only had 3 interactions with them and each time they are very angry and accusatory and it takes almost nothing to set them off.
As with most public service jobs the expectation is that you don’t confront inappropriate behavior and to be honest it makes me uncomfortable to remain silent and uncomfortable to speak up.
So is this Life telling me to get the hell out of there or is this Life giving me an opportunity to learn not to be intimidated by angry confrontation?
If I leave, I’m giving this person an awful lot of power.
However I’m not attached to this job other than financially which is important too.
Read my reply here: “How To Deal With Difficult People (Ask Maria)“
New Year – New Decade – New LIFE
2020 is not just a new year, it’s a brand new decade, and it could be the best decade of your life if you decide that that is what you want.
Give yourself a Christmas or New Years gift and release that which hold you back or restriced – Release emotional attachments and mental limitations and blockages that keeps you and your life from thriving.
You don’t need any of that in your life anymore, it’s not serving you and you can break free to a completely different reality and future.
Allow yourself to be ushered forward in your life towards new relationships and new opportunities for more LIFE as well and book a private one-on-one with me.
As your consciousness is cleared out from things that has been holding you back you also make room for the new, for the flow of Life to take you over and show you a completely new life that is waiting for you.
Our true and most fulfilling life is in the flow, and once you have come into alignment with the universe, with Life, you don’t ever want to go back to the old.
2020 could be YOUR year for all the good that you desire in your life.
All you have to do is to choose it and say YES to it.